I blame J.E. McCormickGal for this. Damn Brit! Drive on the right side of the road! No, no. I kid. Jem, you know you're my brain twin. I also blame her for the name 'Down Under Brothers'. Despite the fact that I said it first.
I recommend reading the slang translations down at the bottom before reading this, otherwise you'll get a mite bit confused.
Thanks as always to StarlightSteel for betaing. I don't know what I would do without you and your hilarious commentary.
Disclaimer: I don't anything. Not even Tasmania, Kiribati, and Tuvalu. Jem half owns them.
New Zealand was humming quietly to himself as he headed up the stairs of his home, his plate of dinner in one hand, briefcase in the other, pen caught between his teeth, and a bottle of pop in his coat pocket.
The island nation sat himself at his desk upstairs, placing the plate down and spitting his pen out. Carefully he put down his pop and dropped his briefcase to the desk before leaving the room to change his clothes.
"Hello Gunther, hello Jimmy," he greeted the two animals dozing on his bed, Gunther being New Zealand's favorite sheep and Jimmy being the Border Collie that generally looked after his flock of sheep.
New Zealand changed out of the suit he had been forced to wear to a meeting with his boss and instead threw on some board shorts and an open button-up, short-sleeve shirt. It was the peak of summer and it was much too hot for anything more conservative.
After returning to his study and setting to work on the documents and eating his meal, New Zealand smiled at a knock at the door and a bleat from Gunther.
Setting down his pen and moving his plate to somewhere Jimmy couldn't reach, New Zealand headed down the stairs. He already knew it was his brothers, come for dinner and to rant about their meetings with their own bosses.
"Zealand!" Australia said happily and hugged his younger brother, as though not expecting the other to answer the door. Tasmania gave a happy wave from where he stood next to Australia.
Tasmania was short, shorter than New Zealand, with dark hair and nervous green eyes. And, well, Tasmania was mute. Whether he couldn't talk or just didn't want to remained a mystery. Australia and New Zealand figured he was personified because he used to be his own colony and only became associated with Australia upon the joining to give them independence, as well as the fact that Tasmania's natives were different from Australia's and New Zealand's own. But it was just a theory.
"Hey, guys." A vibrant smile bloomed across New Zealand's face now that his brothers were here. They always brightened his day and the three were constantly together, save for meetings. "I made dinner if you're hungry."
"Hear that, Taz? No eatin' from the milk bar!" Australia shouted boisterously. "C'mon, mates. I'm starved."
Tasmania mimed laughing before giving New Zealand a look and moving his hands: the sign language only his brothers could truly decipher.
"Naw, it's fine. My dinner's upstairs," New Zealand responded, nudging Tasmania so that the dark-haired province might have something to eat. Not that Australia would eat it all; that was their 'brother' America's job. And, well, New Zealand made enough to feed the three of them, plus Tuvalu and Kiribati if they decided to come over.
"We interrupt anything?" Australia asked casually fifteen minutes later, the three seated upstairs in New Zealand's study.
"Unfortunately not. Just getting some yakka done." New Zealand made a face, combing a hand through his tangle of light blond hair.
Tasmania only grinned, leaping up from where he sat cross-legged on the floor and bolting down the stairs.
"What's got him goin'?" Australia wondered aloud as the two went downstairs after the youngest. Tasmania was standing in the kitchen, a smug look on his face. "And why are you grinning like a shot fox?" Australia arched an eyebrow.
Tasmania just smiled wider and nonchalantly walked out New Zealand's back door, Gunther and Jimmy following after.
"What's he up to? He better not be draggin' us to the GAFA again," New Zealand wondered aloud.
But no, Tasmania stopped in New Zealand's backyard, carefully away from the sheep pastures. Taz then reached into one of three buckets sitting out there, withdrew something, and threw it at Australia's head.
"Water balloon fight! Better take your thongs off, guys, don't wanna slip." Australia was laughing and kicked off his sandals, running over to a bin and smacking New Zealand with a green balloon. Soon enough the three were bolting across New Zealand's lawn and ducking under the gum trees, creating muddy ditches and soaking one another. Jimmy was barking and prancing around them while Gunther bleated and chased behind.
Soon after the trio of brothers were sopping wet and muddy and laughing hysterically. Tasmania collapsed to the ground, laughing without sound, dark hair flopped into his eyes. Australia slumped next to him, sitting with his hands on his knees and a silly expression on his face. New Zealand flopped onto his stomach, Jimmy draping himself across his master's back.
"Good idea, Tasmania," Australia said breathlessly. "And you, sheep shagger, held your own pretty well."
"Shut up, ya damn Aussie," New Zealand replied good-naturedly, panting slightly. "You guys wanna shower and spend the night? I have some beer from the last time you stayed so you can get rotten, Stephen," New Zealand offered, letting his head loll to the side. Of the three of them, Australia was the one that tended to get drunk the most.
"Naw, s'okay, Xavier. Ya have any Pav?" At New Zealand's affirmative, the three of them went inside. New Zealand went to shower the mud off first and return to find Tasmania dozing in the arm chair of his living room and Australia full-out asleep. So New Zealand gently nudged his older brother awake, guiding the now sleepy Australian to the bathroom.
"Thanks, bro." Australia smiled and set about getting himself and his perpetually irritated koala cleaned up. New Zealand was feeding Tasmania some Pavlov by the time he was done showering. Soon enough the two had switched places and then New Zealand had sent them off to bed.
"Idiot brothers." The blond smiled fondly as he did the dishes and got his own pets clean. The green-eyed island nation was just about to go finish his paperwork when he heard knocking at the door.
A huge sighed and the young nation trudged off to the door opening it.
"Hey, Xavier," Kiribati, or Gilbert Islands, said with a smile. His brother, Tuvalu, or Ellice islands, standing behind him gave a little wave. New Zealand could never get over how the two still appeared almost tribal. Lucky little bastards. They both had the coloring of their natives still. It was times like this, when New Zealand got jealous, that he'd remind himself he wouldn't always have his little brothers.
"Come in guys, sit on the couch and I'll get you dinner," Xavier offered instead. Kiribati gladly took the offer, snatching a tissue from its box and coughing violently into it.
Tuvalu followed New Zealand into the kitchen where Kiribati couldn't hear them.
"He's getting worse, isn't he?" New Zealand asked sullenly, warming up two plates of food for the island chain nations.
"Yeah, he's started coughing blood and most of his people have been evacuated to Stephen's place. He's not gonna be with us much longer," Tuvalu sniffled. Kiribati was slowly disappearing under the ocean thanks to global warming. "It's just, Xavier, I don't know what I'll do without him! We've always been Gilbert and Ellice Islands. I don't want to be by myself."
New Zealand sighed and hugged the sobbing nation. "It'll be okay, Tuvalu. He'll still be around, and he'll feel better once he's dissolved. Prussia's still here, hasn't shot through yet," New Zealand assured.
Once those two were fed and put to bed in New Zealand's last spare rooms, the poor blond trudged upstairs and collapsed into bed with Gunther and Jimmy. Idly scratching Jimmy behind the ear, a smile formed on his face. "Those idiots. Always starting things and showing up expecting food and causing trouble. What the hell would I do without them?"
Milk bar- A corner store where you can get take out
Yakka- Work
Grinning like a shot fox- the cat that ate the canary; devious or sly grin.
GAFA- The outback. The great Australian fuck all
Thongs- Cheap rubber sandals. Not the underwear.
Sheep shagger- Australian slang for a New Zealander
Aussie- Slang for an Australian
Rotten- drunk
Pav- Pavlova, a New Zealand/Australian dessert made with kiwi and cream.
Shoot through- to leave
And there you have it. Review please~