She had felt melancholy all day although nothing had happened that day to make her feel so discontent. It was a day indistinguishable from any other day; nothing out of the ordinary had happened. Maybe that was the problem.
She knew she should feel happy. After all these years she still loved her husband although it was no longer the deep passionate love of her youth but rather a familiarity and contentment. Both of them were healthy in spite their advancing years. Despite their financial problems they were still in the place she had called home for almost 50 years.
But those financial problems had taken a toll. They had lost the London town house and a great deal of the estate's land and other properties. The number of servants was vastly reduced. She no longer had the luxury of a personal lady's maid. Breakfast was no longer taken on a tray while lounging in her bed. They still changed clothes for dinner but it was no longer the gowns or tails of yesteryear. Thank heavens Violet or Carson hadn't lived to see that.
But it was the personal relationships that had suffered more greatly. Robert and Matthew often clashed over how to best handle their financial problems and these clashes had left a strain on their relationship. Although she would never tell Robert, or for that matter anyone, she was glad that it was Matthew that usually prevailed. She feared that if it had been left to Robert their current situation would be worse. After all, it was Robert who had lost her fortune.
As great as the strain was between Robert and Matthew, the strain between Mary and Matthew was even greater, and to Cora, sadder. Their love that had once been so bright now seemed faded. Of all of them, Mary had the hardest time adjusting to their situation. It was she who still wanted to carry on as if nothing had ever changed. It was she who wanted to still wear the latest fashions, who had resisted most the idea of no longer wearing such formal clothes for dinner. It was Mary who wanted to maintain all the old traditions and the pretense of an endless fund of money to live a lifestyle no longer affordable or feasible.
It didn't help that Edith had married a wealthy merchant. While not of the peerage, he was able to give Edith all the material possessions she wanted and, like her sister, Edith wanted so much if only to show up her sister.
Even today her beloved ten year old grandson Ben couldn't cheer her up. The younger son of Mary and Matthew was Cora's favorite grandchild. She knew she shouldn't have favorites but Ben was the only one that was truly a joy to be around. She found Edith's two daughters too shallow and prissy. Mary's daughter and older son had too much of Mary's haughtiness and snobbery. Ben was the only one of her grandchildren that was sweet-natured, kind, and generous. He reminded her so much of Sybil.
Sybil. If Cora was honest with herself, she knew that was why she was so discontent today. Today was Sybil's birthday. It had been 20 years since she had celebrated a birthday with Sybil. It had been 20 years since that awful night. That night when Sybil and the chauffer had told the family of their love and their plans to marry. The night when Robert threw Sybil out of the house. The night when the Crawley's disowned Sybil and banned her from Downton as long as she was with the chauffer.
Cora took the faded photograph wrinkled by handling out of her nightstand. It was the last one she had of Sybil, a candid photograph showing a laughing Sybil with the wind gently blowing her hair. The tears fell down Cora's cheeks as she lovingly looked at the photograph. "Oh my baby. My beautiful baby. I am so sorry" cried Cora.
In a small cottage on the Irish coast, much laughter could be heard coming from the group sitting around the dining table. The remains of a chocolate cake sat on the table. Looking at her youngest daughter's chocolate smeared face, Sybil smiled as she said it was bedtime. This was met with some groans but Sybil held fast.
"I'll get Claire and Emma ready for bed if the boys finish the dishes" volunteered Aislin. Before either boy could complain, Aislin continued "remember it's our birthday gift to Ma that she have a day of no chores."
"Well in that case, I think I'll take your Ma for a walk on the beach." Tom said as he rose from the table picking up the half full bottle of wine.
Turning to Sybil, he said "My love, would you care to finish this bottle while sitting on the beach looking at the moon and stars?"
As Sybil sat on the blanket with Tom's arm wrapped around her shoulder drawing her close, she reflected on her birthday. It was a surprise when Tom suggested they spend a few days on the coast since they had already taken their holiday in the west of Ireland. Tom had made all the arrangements and found the cottage. The weather had cooperated and was warm and sunny. Today had been a perfect day spent romping on the beach with her family. Although she thought the water was a tad too cold for swimming, the boys and Emma begged her to join them in the water. So while she ventured into the water to join them she found playing in the sand with little Claire much more enjoyable. Tom and Aislin had cooked dinner while Sybil remained on the beach with the other children looking for shells.
She had everything she could have ever wanted, five healthy and happy children, a job she loved, and of course Tom. Those first few years of marriage had been tough but not because she doubted her and Tom's love or her decision to leave Downton. She had had to learn so much – how to shop for food, how to cook, how to clean a house. It had taken her far longer than she ever thought to find a nursing job and Tom's job didn't pay much. After spending all day at the newspaper, Tom often worked in the evening or on weekends at a garage just to put food on their table. Their tiny flat was so cold in the winter it's a wonder one of them didn't die of pneumonia . But when Sybil thought of those days, she most often thought of how their love had blossomed, of the evenings spent in front of the fire curled up with each other reading or discussing Tom's writings or the situation in Ireland and how most of those evenings ended with them making love whether in front of that fire or buried deep in the blankets of their bed.
But they had prospered. Tom still worked for the newspaper but also wrote articles for various magazines published not only in Ireland but England and America as well and the only car he worked on was his own. She had risen to a nursing supervisor and taught some classes for student nurses. They now lived in a large beautiful house in a nice area of Dublin. While little Claire would just be starting school, their oldest daughter, Aislin, would go to university in the next term. She would be the first Branson to attend university.
Looking up at the brightly shining moon and star lit night with Tom's arm draped around her, Sybil felt such contentment. Turning to face the man she loved so deeply she smiled "Thank you Tom. For this holiday. For this life."