Shades of Me
Only Human
She didn't have to be perfect. People may have expected that of her, but she knew she didn't have to be. Sometimes she felt the need to maintain a certain image, but she was okay with being privately normal. Off the cameras, and off the field, she was a normal (ish) person. It wasn't like she went around looking for trouble. It just came. The only thing about her position that bothered her was what happened when she messed up. People died. It happened, and it hurt, but it was manageable. But when people knew she messed up- when there had been some other choice she'd disregarded- they acted like she was supposed to be perfect. Like they expected her to constantly maintain her good record.
She took it harder when the people around her blamed her. She knew that her ground team wouldn't blame her. What was left of them, anyways. God... Ashley. Ash... Her bottle tipped again.
"Shepard?"
Shepard didn't know who it was. It really didn't matter. She wasn't in the mood to talk to anyone about anything. Violence was bound to arise if they continued to beat on the door like they door suddenly open and a familiar blue figure came in.
"Whaddya want V'karian?" Shepard slurred.
"Commander." He said. It wasn't really an answer to her question, but she assumed it was getting there. He shifted uncomfortably. "Commander. You..."
"Spit it out." She said.
"You did what you could."
"I know that. I know that better than anyone. That doesn't make it any easier, 'specially with Alenko tellin' me every few seconds. I know." She said.
"Say that to my face." He challenged. He picked her up gruffly by the collar. Whatever glass bottle that was in her hand clattered to the floor. Her weight seemed alien on her own feet. She'd been on the floor so long.
"I need you to say it, Shepard."
"I messed up. I killed Ashley. Okay? I did it. Me. I picked Kaiden, and now all he can do is yell at me for it." She said, putting her hand on his wrist.
"Shepard." Garrus said harshly, letting Shepard know this wasn't the answer he wanted.
"Ash is dead. And there was nothing I could do because...because I'm..." Shepard wasn't sure what he thought she was going to say. She was running through a list ranging from inadequate all the way to sickly satisified. But Garrus surprised her by saying his very first human idiom;
"Human, Shepard. You're only human."
A/N: First attempt at a one hundred theme challenge. Going to need a lot of help on this one. Thinking about getting/asking for a Beta.