Room at the Inn

by Martin79

Why is Roz Clarke guarding at graveyard while the Sun Hill Christmas party is happening?

Room at the Inn

By

Martin79

~

Rating: PG (contains swearing)

Feedback: Any would be helpful. Contact me at mthompson79@hotmail.com

Distribution: Would be brilliant but please ask first

Main Characters: PC Nick Klein, PC Roz Clarke, Sgt June Ackland and PC Jim Carver

Background: This story is set at Christmas 2000 and carries on from 'First Impressions' but features an alternate Sun Hill Christmas party to the one held in 'The Night Before'

Disclaimer: All characters property of Thames Television. Series created by Geoff McQueen. All originals belong to the author.

Row upon row of gravestones greeted PC Nick Klein as he walked in through the strong wooden gates of St. Mary's church, an old 15th century building in Weybank Road. What am I doing here he thought as a shiver went up and down his spine and he felt the squelchy ground beneath his feet, where the rain had fallen a few hours before, ruining his shiny new black shoes. He stood for a moment, surveying the gloomy landscape, the air filled with a horrible musty smell. The spaces between the stones were uneven and the ground was filled with unkempt grass and a couple of weathered old wooden benches. Leading around the yard was an eroded path that probably owed more to grieving relative's feet than any kind of planned route. A large blue wheelie bin was pushed to the back leaning up against an old wire fence adding the scent of rubbish to the air. "Right let's get this over with then" he muttered to himself feeling depression creeping in, looking around and then moving into the shadows to avoid being seen in the early evening light. Nick made quite a strong, powerful figure as he cut through the trees and over the gravestones taking care not to tread on any of the graves. The cold wind kept hitting his face, like an invisible force trying to keep him away from his goal, but at least he was thankful he had his scarf and black leather jacket to protect him from the cold in addition to the T-shirt and green polo neck jumper worn underneath.

He stopped at a square shaped stone, black, shiny and almost new with large gold lettering, near the back of the graveyard. Slowly he brushed down his trousers and shoes, feeling he was too overdressed for creeping around in the dark. Looking around again he crouched down slowly beneath the stone and read:

" 'Police Constable Rosalind Clarke, born 1978, died in a tragic hairdryer accident year 2000. I regret that I never caught many criminals but at least I looked fabulous doing it.' Tch, what a senseless waste" he said shaking his head before feeling a sharp hit to the side of it.

"Oi!" shouted Roz from behind a neighbouring stone, a large cross with a strong plinth below it.

"Oww! Leave it out!" shouted Nick with a slight smile. "Had much action yet?"

"No, not yet" she sighed with a dissatisfied look on her face.

"Look he's probably not gonna show tonight anyway. This place has been done three times already, must've moved on by now" he paused looking into her eyes, she quickly turned away rubbing her hands together at first and then onto her arms in an attempt to generate some warmth. "Give it up and come down the pub with me, eh. Party's only just started down at The Elcott Arms we can catch the next round if we hurry"

"No! I'm not going, Nick. Sergeant Ackland said to stay at least until ten. Anyway what are you doing here? I thought you were D.J'ing"

"I saw a higher power and it indicated that I should be by your side"

"Higher power?"

"Yup. Saint June" he said putting his hands together in prayer and rolling his eyes up towards the sky. Roz giggled and fell backwards. She was better dressed for the job than Nick wearing a large anorak and a fleecy zip-up top combined with black trousers and a pair of dark trainers. They were already caked in mud but much easier to run in than the black heeled pair of boots she had arrived at the station in earlier that day.

"O.K so I was supposed to D.J" continued Nick. "But when the sarge told me Dave and Polly had been taken off and you were all alone out here I postponed the gig and volunteered to come and lend you a hand and…"

"…If we go now you can just make the beginning. Very noble that, Nick"

"Well, yeah I suppose"

"…and I bet you also think that you still have a chance with me. Get back into my good books by playing the 'knight in shining armour protecting me from the forces of evil'. Well forget it, Nick. Go to the party, play your records and drink yourself stupid if you want but I'm staying here and doing my job!" she added harshly.

"What!" he gasped. "But I never said…look I didn't mean that…!"

"Whatever!" she sulked.

"I'm staying too then, you need back-up!"

"Fine!" she hissed crossing her arms.

Nick sighed as he sat down beside her, resting his back against a stone and flinched as he felt the mud merge into his trousers. This is gonna be a long night he thought starring forward at the rows of gravestones, old and crumbling that lay in front of him. The imposing structure of St Mary's church itself dominated the landscape beyond that, a triangular shaped building with a tiny cross at the top. It looked more magnificent in the daylight, indeed he had admired it many times before when walking by on the beat or to a gig, with it's strong gothic-look windows, grey slated roof and the many tributes and statues that surrounded it. At night though it seemed more dreary, wet and lifeless. To shake off the still oncoming depression he started thinking of the annual Sun Hill Christmas party just getting started in The Elcott Arms. CID will be in there first, keeping to themselves and probably mulling over another obbo or a bust gone wrong. The new Superintendent will arrive and announce he was buying everyone a drink and making some speech about change, teamwork and crime statistics. Nick could almost feel that first cold pint in his hands, getting lost in the music and eyeing up the talent. He looked over sharply at Roz, who was starring up into the night sky. It was her; the reason why he wasn't there and he hated it.

Roz wasn't feeling much better herself. She was cold, wet, miserable and started to seriously consider packing it all in, going to the pub and trying to enjoy herself but she couldn't stand the thought of everyone there. All those faces starring back at her and laughing. No, no she couldn't do it, much better to stay here alone or at least with Nick, whatever his intentions may be, perhaps he really did care after all. Or maybe he was planning to pull another series of jokes and pranks after she and Ben Hayward had made a fool out of him back in September. He never tried to get his own back even after the photos had been stuck up onto the notice board and he had to explain them away to Mr. Brownlow. Everyone had loved her then the plucky probationer sticking up for herself and her friend; all huddled round the board laughing at naked Nick. Polly, Dave, Smithy, Cass all the people who would now be laughing at her if she dared to set foot in The Elcott Arms tonight. No, she wanted to stay away after all the whole reason for accepting this strange stakeout was to stay away from the party, right?

Nearly two hours earlier she had been back in the warm, back in the station, standing outside the Sergeant's office trying to come to a decision. Quickly she made her mind up, straightened her clothes, brushed her hair out of her eyes and gingerly knocked on the door.

"Come in"

As Roz entered she noticed Sergeant June Ackland sitting behind the desk wearing a stressed expression. The desk was covered in papers and folders with several half completed forms strewn about.

"Ah Roz, feeling better now I hope" she said in a light tone putting down her pen and shifting the work to one side.

"Yes thank you," she said quietly. Feeling her heart beat faster she blurted out a well-rehearsed sentence.

"Sarge, I'd like to volunteer to help Polly and Dave with the obbo at St Mary's"

"O.K if that's what you want but…"

"I do," she answered quickly.

"…But, I repeat, you'll be on your own. Inspector Monroe let DS McAllister have them for this warehouse job that's supposed to be going down tonight. He didn't think that the idiots responsible are likely to show and I'm inclined to agree with him. Personally I think it's one of Dave's hunch's that strangely lead to more overtime, he gets a lot of them around this time of year especially with the party coming up."

"Oh" said Roz feeling disappointed.

"Not planning to go yourself. I thought I'd have trouble even making you fill in a form after the end of the shift, you're normally the first out of here when there's a party " June smiled.

"Umm…no. I was just gonna have an early night anyway."

" That's not like you. Is this all because of what happened earlier, are you sulking because you don't want to see the rest of the relief? It was just an accident, these things happen there's no need to worry about it."

"I…just need the overtime. Bought too many presents again this year, please Sarge just a couple of hours" she pleaded.

"Look all right I give in you can go but call in to CAD regularly and at the slightest hint of trouble. I'll try and arrange for patrols to stop by and some back-up if there's anyone left by then. If they don't show up by ten you get yourself home and into a hot bath, is that understood?" she smiled.

" Yes Sarge, you sound like my mum used to whenever I went out" she blushed.

" Strictly I shouldn't send a probationer out alone but I suppose it's only for a few hours. What do you know about these attacks on St.Mary's anyway?"

"Erm…not much. Just there's been some vandals spraying the walls a couple of times during the last few weeks. Polly only told me about it today" she said sheepishly.

" Roz! Next time check up on exactly what you're walking into before you come to see me. About a week ago Mrs Grace Winters once more graced our doors. In the past she has wasted an awful lot of Police time on very trivial matters. She once had half the relief out looking for her cat. Anyway she complained about several cases of vandalism down at her church, St. Mary's in Weybank Road. We didn't take it too seriously but Dave and Polly decided to look in. These kids had placed party hats on all the effigies of Christ, put paper chains all around the church and sprayed 'Happy Birthday' all over the walls."

Roz started to giggle, quickly covering her mouth to try and silence it but June soon caught on.

"Alright I know it's a bit out of the ordinary" June said starting to giggle, " even the vicar doesn't think it's doing much harm but we've received a complaint. Dave's been there twice already and nothing's turned up he thinks they'll strike as close to Christmas as possible so tonight was the last throw of the dice. Probably just drunken students with too much time on their hands but the dear Mrs Winters also has a habit of complaining to the Superintendent so we have to be seen to give it our all. Go up to CID and speak with Dave or Polly before you go just to get the full facts and if you're back here before half six I'll get Vicky to drop you off at St Mary's before the CID briefing. Any questions?"

"No Sarge."

"Good now go and get changed… and I'll expect to see you at that party!" June smiled.

"I'll see" Roz muttered walking out of the door and straight into PC Jim Carver who was waiting outside.

The shock made her jump out of her skin and she let out a yelp. Quickly she moved aside and out of his way her heart beating faster as she reeled from the shock.

"Is Ju…I mean Sergeant Ackland in?" he asked nervously.

Roz nodded.

"Once again I'm…sorry about earlier. Kind of funny now you think about it," he said with a brief chuckle, " I mean I've never had any intentions in…in that way I hope you realise."

Roz didn't answer, a tear rolled down her cheek and she stayed motionless. Jim had tried to avoid eye contact by starring at the floor but now he turned and knocked at the door. Drying her eyes she waited until he went into the office. Overhearing Jim give another version of his apology to June she wanted to stay and hear more but decided instead the best thing would be to change back into her civvies and get out of the station as soon as possible.

" So what's this all about then?" said Nick jolting Roz out of her thoughts.

"What?"

"Some nutter dressing up crucifixes in party hats innit?"

"That's it" she sighed "if you don't like it go to the party then, I'm fine here!"

"Yeah you sound like it. Why don't you tell me what up? Don't really think I believe you'd rather be in this dump than at a good knee's up do you?"

"Just don't feel like a party that's all. Go if you want to Nick I don't need you!"

"You need back-up, I'm not leaving you here alone, you don't get rid of me that easily!

Is this because of what happened earlier? It is isn't it? Lighten up, Roz it was just a joke!" he said in a loud whisper, still trying to remain quiet.

"Thank you oh great knight" she said sarcastically. "Anyway how did you know it was a joke, I didn't know it was a joke. It was just an accident Sgt Ackland said. Did you have something to do with this Nick?"

"Shhhhh!" he hissed. Nick suddenly heard a rustling in some of the large, leafy bushes over to the left of the graveyard.

"No I won't. Nick we're having this out n…"

"Will you shut up? I can hear something in the bushes over there and I'm trying not to raise my voice. Go up there and round, I'll try and cut him off from the other end!" he whispered hoarsely.

Roz moved towards the top of the yard and then descended closer to the bushes. She couldn't see any shadows or any outline of a body just the noises of movement as someone or something tried to avoid capture. Taking another look around her the shape of a man started to emerge but it was only Nick. Together they closed in on the bushes, treading carefully over the graves. Roz took very small steps, this place gave her the creeps, thinking that if she so much as stood on a burial site then a decomposing body would sit up, grab her and pull her down into the hole with it to feast on her warm flesh like something out of 'Night of the Living Dead' or maybe like the ending of 'Carrie' with a bloodied hand bursting through a grave, probably ruining a new pair of boots. Of course anything could happen as she learned after watching countless video nasties with her schoolmates on a sleepover or by a boyfriend trying to bring cop off with her by scaring her out of her skin. Slowly a chill went up and down her spine.

Slowly they both tracked the noises to a single bush by the old, rusty wire fence. An onlooker would've seen two shadows squaring off against each other, extending long poles ready to do battle.

"This is the Police please show yourself!" shouted Roz.

"You're surrounded mate, give it up!" added Nick.

The noises carried on regardless of their cries.

"Did you hear us?" shouted Roz " step out with your hands up!"

"Step out with your hands up?" repeated Nick " this ain't a sixties crime flick, Roz he's not gonna come out wearing a stocking on his head saying 'it's a fair cop guvnor'. Right I've had enough of this!" he shouted thrashing his asp into the plant. As he marched forward something shot out of the bush putting him off balance and causing him to stumble into one of the memorials. It was a small stone cube with a few words engraved over the top and a space for some flowers upon which Nick's leg was now lying over. The fall had delivered him into another patch of murky mud and grass, most of which now covered his clothes.

"Urerrrghhh…" he groaned, " what happened, where's he gone?"

"Awwww It's just a couple of squirrels," said Roz sweetly "you must've disturbed them."

"I disturbed THEM, what about what they bloody did to me! Great! That's wonderful that is! My new jacket ruined by a…couple of rats with feather dusters up their bums!" Nick said lifting himself up and trying in vain to clean his clothes. He was also limping a little on his right leg.

"You OK?" asked Roz putting her arms around his shoulders to support him.

"Nothing a pint wouldn't fix" he grumbled limping over to a dry patch of grass, sitting down and resting his back on another gravestone. As she helped him to sit down Roz let out a giggle.

" Oh so now my discomfort is making you happy is it? At least something's cracked that boat race of yours. If I knew all I had to do was break a couple of limbs then I'd have done it sooner!"

" Not you it's the headstone behind, look 'Edna Knapp- Fell Asleep 1946'."

"Oh ha-ha so what" he replied pausing briefly to watch her sitting down beside him

"You didn't have to come on so strong you know, charging in there like Bruce Willis."

"Me! I was watching you run over to the bushes, bit edgy weren't ya. Who do you think you are Buffy the Vampire Slayer? No demons are gonna leap out at you here, Roz. Halloween was months ago."

"Edna's gonna rise up and suck our blood is she then" she giggled

"You've got a lovely smile y'know," he said quietly.

"Oww shut up!" she giggled slapping him playfully on his leg.

"Aaaaggh!" he cried in pain, clutching the limb immediately, "what the bloody hell did you do that for!"

"I'm sorry I'm sorry," she cried rubbing his leg frantically, trying to calm the pain down.

"Stop it! You're making it worse!" he shouted, pushing her away, "get off!"

"We're supposed to be on watch here Nick, keep it down!"

"Keep it down! I'll smash one of your limbs eh and we'll see how long you can button it!"

" Smashing limbs! It's only a sprain you big baby. Leave then if you don't want my company"

"No question of that now is there, now that you've crippled me!" he replied.

A silence fell between them; each deciding it would be better not to speak for a while. Roz fell into a sulk while Nick started to regret being so crabby with her especially as the pain in his leg started to subside gradually.

"I'm sorry," he eventually said solemnly.

"How's the leg?" she asked not looking around.

"Bit better" he replied

"Are you gonna sulk about it all night."

"Huh are you? We aren't gonna be stuck here all night, Roz. Or at least I'm not."

"Changed your tune I thought you wanted to help out the poor, innocent, naïve probationer girlie all alone in the big dark graveyard" she said sarcastically fluttering her eyelashes comically. "Thank you Sir Lancelot!"

"Alright, again I'm sorry. What's up with you anyway?"

" Nothing! Can we just change the subject?" she said quietly.

"OK…so…what d'you thinks gonna be number one this year?" he said after a while.

"What?" she said turning around.

"Pop charts, who d'you fancy Westlife, Bob the Builder, Spice Girls?"

"Dunno, Westlife?"

"What that soppy lot no way!" he replied.

"Well they did it last year. I suppose you think Bob the Builder!"

"Nothing wrong with that, Christmas charts are the domain of the novelty single. Just look at 'Ernie'-Benny Hill in '71, 'No-one Quite Like Grandma' in 1980, 'Mr.Blobby' in '93.All Christmas number ones, despite the varying quality."

"I used to love Band Aid's 'Do they Know it's Christmas' when I was younger, they'll never be another like that I used to play it over and over" she smiled.

"There's that smile again. You know they released that twice, in '84 and '89 it was one of the first I bought. I always buy charity singles, suppose I feel like I'm doing my bit."

" Awww really. I never actually bought it my mum did she liked Bob Geldof. I fancied George Michael at that time."

"Aaah 'Last Christmas' best single Christmas single never to get to number one."

"C'mon best Christmas single ever"

"No way – 'Merry Christmas Everybody'- Slade 1973 in the chart no less than nine times over the last thirty years. How can you beat that chorus? It's a pop classic."

Roz giggled and looked over at Nick in a playful way. Still rubbing his foot he looked back over with a slight frown covering his large forehead.

"OK what is it this time, your moods are changing more times than them fairy lights in the town centre?"

"Heehee, it's just you y'know Nick the streetwise DJ, Nick the clubber always 'livin' it large' and 'gettin' down to some bangin' tunes'…" she said, waving her hands in the air trying to do a club-like dance, " …and all the time you're a secret pop-head."

"Alright keep it down I've got an image to maintain" he said pulling at his jacket.

"I bet you have posters of the Spice Girls and All-Saints all over your flat too" she said moving closer to him and grinning.

"I'm not that far gone thanks, I admit to the occasional flutter, that Britney Spears isn't half bad, I always go for the younger birds me" he said moving closer to Roz and looking in her eyes. They starred at each other for a moment, eyes locked, each trying to anticipate the other's next move. Nick moved in closer, tilting his head slightly. Roz turned her head away quickly and moved further away from him, a small tear in her eye. She sat with her back against a large gravestone and tried not to look back at him. Nick moved closer to her, grimacing slightly as his leg leaked pain when it felt the cold ground and the gravel lying upon it, he groaned slightly.

"What's up now?" he asked "What have I done you've gone all weird on me again."

"I-I just want to be left alone" she stuttered.

"This is because of what happened earlier isn't it! For pity's sake Roz it was just a wind-up."

"You know about it then?"

" Everybody knows about it, you can't keep a secret in that station for too long the Canteen Mafia were on it in seconds."

"Oh God!" she cried, sobbing into her hands. Nick put his hand round her shoulder trying to provide comfort but she vigorously shrugged it off.

"Cheer up it will be ok, just a little prank, small joke yeah."

" It was you wasn't it, you were behind it, you did this to me!" she snarled.

"Alright yes it was me, hands up in the air I locked you in. Can you blame me after what happened last time! I was naked in front of the entire relief you lead me on and you made me look a right fool," he shouted. "You thought you were so smug after that, so smart. All the blokes were lining up with their tongues out drooling and the girls loved you because you put one over on me. C'mon you needed to be taken down a peg or two!"

"And what you did to Ben that was justified was it. A sick trick like that, you needed to be taught a lesson too so I guess that makes two of us doesn't it!" she shouted, tears still streaming down her face.

"Yeah well that was different, nobody told me that…"

"You got yours, Nick it was coming. I didn't deserve mine I was doing what was right."

"Making out you were gonna sleep with me was right was it? Well there's some girls I know hang out down Purchase Road doing the same thing on a daily basis, perhaps we ought to make them Special Constables! There could be a whole new squad formed, you could lead 'em Sgt Clarke of the Tart Patrol!"

"You Bastard! You weren't so innocent acting like I forced you into it so don't stand the moral high ground with me".

" Alright I'm sorry I shouldn't have said that, just stop whining on about it. A small prank that's all now quiet down otherwise we'll scare him off and the night will have been a total waste rather just an irritation!" he snapped before turning away.

Roz thought back to that morning and things started to become a little clearer. She had been assigned to the CAD room and from the moment she arrived she wanted to get out. Matt Boyden was the CAD room Sergeant and since her first day his attitude towards her had always been changeable, some-days he would be perfectly civil and others his moods would be cranked up a notch with pointless insults, flirting and innuendo. Today was definitely one of those days she could sense it as she walked in.

"Late night Roz? Hope he was worth it" Matt dryly noted with his usual smirk as she rushed in ten minutes late.

At the time she didn't think it strange that Nick Klein kept popping in so often, he was involved with planning the party, whispering to Sergeant Boyden, planning, cooking something up. Probably sticking Reg Hollis on top of the Christmas tree, clad in a pink dress and wand with a star on the end, or something equally childish. She even thought he might be planning revenge on her for leading him on that night in September and making him look like a fool in front of the relief. He had been moody on her ever since that day which was a shame because he was kind of cute in a way. Time went by and the hours of sitting down plus the cups of coffee took their toll on her but Boyden still insisted that she stay at her post.

"CID have that big crack house bust down at Jamaica Lane, they may call in for back-up any minute. What's the matter anyway can't he wait until the end of the shift?"

"But Sarge I'm bursting for the loo" She pleaded.

"Hold it in then."

" I can't!" she whined.

"Easy just cross your legs, I know you have trouble but please try" he smirked.

"Sierra Oscar from DC Webb" chipped in the radio.

Oh God! Roz took her hands off her aching stomach and put her headset back on.

"Go ahead Mickey" she said.

"Yeah transport for three bodies please Roz oh and inform DI Cullen that one of them's John Reed, I think he's a snout of his."

"Obbo was a success then" she asked.

"What obbo? I collared them runnin' away from MacKay's, the jewellers in Canley High Street, quite a bit of luck actually me and Dunc were with a snout in the greasy spoon opposite."

"Huh. Hard life in CID isn't it?" grumbled Matt.

" Sierra Oscar Two is only two streets away. ETA five minutes Mick" she groaned.

"That's great, you OK Roz? Not them canteen sausages again is it" he joked. "Sergeant Boyden got you chained to the desk again?"

Roz groaned in agreement.

" Yeah, I 'eard 'e was that sort. Takes 'is 'andcuffs 'ome at night with 'im if you get my meaning. Nudge, nudge, wink, wink say no more eh ha-ha."

"Yes thank you DC Webb" interrupted Matt "Sierra Oscar Two will be with you soon!"

"Struck a nerve have I, Sarge?" he joked.

"Alright enough of that. Bye-bye Mick" he snapped, "annoying little prat!" he later muttered under his breath.

"Thought you said CID had a big drugs raid on?" asked Roz.

"Mickey Webb alone does not a CID make".

"Very lyrical Sarge. So exactly who is on this raid?" she said.

"No idea I'm not CID's keeper" he dryly replied.

Roz was still very suspicious of Boyden after how he had tricked her on her first day .She had seen him drive into a supposed helpless old lady that he later revealed to be a dummy in a bunch of old clothes just to teach her a lesson. She had never fully trusted him since and didn't like to think bad of people let alone a fellow police officer. Everyone was a suspect and no-one was above the law. Sergeant Boyden could turn out to be as bent as DS Beech if half the stories she heard about him were true, most of them involving women, and then there were the others. Rumour had it a previous DS had punched Mr Monroe, a uniformed Sergeant had been arrested for passing dodgy money and a couple of the DI's had also been a bit on the flighty side.

" Can I go to the toilet then!" she protested after a couple of minutes, whipping off her headset and getting ready to march out.

"No! Sit back down! Now!" he shouted.

Roz sat back down in a huff.

"Just hope we don't get a call from the swimming baths" he joked much to the enjoyment of the other PC's in the room and to Roz's embarrassment. She turned red and clammed up for a while half not wanting to give him the satisfaction of a reaction and half trying to think up a witty comeback. A few minutes later the time for a comeback had passed and her stomach began to groan again, even crossing her legs had become too uncomfortable. No-one had called in since Mickey Webb and Boyden seemed to be preoccupied with something going on outside the office but eventually he turned around and announced:

"Right Roz and Terry you can both have a break now if you like, fifteen minutes that's all! Be careful with him Roz" he smirked as she rushed past him with a glare.

"What's that look for?" he protested.

"Why are you trying to stop me having a break? Is something going on?"

"Course not, don't you trust me?"

"Not sure I do after last time. I'll never forget what you did to me, Sarge"

"Good! I meant it that way. You know what you're getting paranoid, love. Go on you wanted the break. Fourteen minutes and counting now move before I change my mind!"

Roz ran out of the door and along the corridor to the toilets, her aching stomach deciding for her not to continue the argument.

"Must be a sale on somewhere" she heard someone say as she ran, bursting through the toilet door and almost flattening someone behind it

Seven minutes later she emerged still clutching her stomach and feeling a few slight twinges of pain that would later subside.

"'Allo gorgeous, guts playin' up?" Nick Klein suddenly appeared from around the corner.

"Ooo hiya" she said cheerfully "I thought you were out?"

"Yep, came back to finish some paperwork off during refs but now Monroe wants to see me. Somethin' about a break-in I dealt with last week in Dorrell Road. Anyway you OK?"

"Nothing that strangling Sergeant Boyden wouldn't fix."

" In a bit of a mood today are we? You're not often one to consider sergeant-cide."

"He just has it in for me today, always has done!"

"Well, you know there's only one, ahem, way to get round Boyden."

"Urrgh Nick! No way, he's too old!"

"So you go for the younger gentleman then?" he asked cheekily, straightening his tie and hair.

"Don't start all that again please. I'm honestly not interested, I like you more as a friend though."

"OK then," he said flatly " perhaps then as friends, such as we are, you'd do me a favour."

"What?" she said slightly suspicious.

"While I'm in with Monroe could you fetch me some stuff from the stationary cupboard, couple of pen, markers, wad of paper stuff like that. I need to get some paperwork done, see Monroe an get back out I double quick time, there's a bloke I've got to meet in an hour. Just put it all on the table in the canteen or give it to Smithy, I'll find it. Please, it would really help me."

"Well I don't know…"

"Thanks, great, I'll see you later" he said dashing off down the corridor and around the corner before she could reply.

Charming! But still anything was better than going back to the CAD room and Bolshie Boyden she thought. The door to the stationary room was slightly ajar Roz pushed it open and marched inside. The room was a medium sized space with a few shelves and stacking areas comprising of metal rails and planks of wood. These were filled up with boxes containing papers, pens and the usual office equipment. The only light filling the room came from the corridor so Roz tried unsuccessfully to switch the light on, not knowing that it had not been working for a couple of months. Exhaling a sigh she grabbed a box and started randomly shoving paper and pens into it.

KERCHUNG!

She turned around instantly to see the door slam shut behind her.

CLICK!

The door was now locked. It was strange, she thought, that there wasn't a key in it when she had walked in. She rushed forward and tried the handle, pulling it back and fourth, and shoving the door in an attempt to force it open. Her heart started to beat a little faster and she started to panic. Her thoughts turned to worries oh God what's going to happen; am I going to be stuck in here for good; Boyden's expecting me back any minute; he'll report me to Monroe I know it and then it'll get out to the rest of the relief and they'll never stop taking the mick.

She started to pace up and down but suddenly heard a noise. Someone or something was coming towards her; she rushed forward, hit something, rebounded off of it and hit the door with a crunch. Pain shot through her back and she slunk down onto the floor with her back against the door not daring, or feeling she could, move.

" Who's that, who's there?" a male voice cried out.

"Who are you first?" Roz replied, with a shaky authority, almost instantly.

"Well I'm hardly the Sun Hill bogeyman now am I?" he chuckled. "Is the door locked?"

"Yup."

"Why?"

"How should I know?" she snapped.

"Who are you?" he repeated. "Look I'm a Police Officer."

Roz wasn't sure whether or not to believe him but then again the place was filled with them so it wouldn't be that hard to believe, perhaps it was just all the escaped prisoner theories clogging her head. Stop that you're a Police Officer too she thought as she busied herself trying to pick the lock with her credit card.

"Right let me have a go!" stormed the voice hearing her attempts, moving forward and grabbing the handle. Roz could feel his hand brushing against her shoulder, searching around the door. His hot breath, with a faint hint of canteen sausages on it, blew itself down her neck; she grew even more worried and panicky so she struck out a kick that landed square in his stomach, her small shoe sinking briefly into his belly.

"Oooohhhffttt! What the bloody hell did you do that for!" he shouted in a hoarse, breathless voice, "What are you mad! I'm only trying to get us out of here!"

"W-Who are you?" she repeated.

"Gaargh Jim, Jim Carver."

"Oh God Jim I'm so sorry. Are you alright?"

"Well what do you think!" he spluttered. "Hang on, hang on are you Roz Clarke?"

"Yes, please forgive me Jim I'm so sorry" she repeated.

She heard him slump down into a corner, knocking up against a stack of shelves; a box of pens promptly fell down from the top shelf showering them both in biros.

"Are you OK?" she asked again.

"Yeah…just give me a minute or so that was quite a kick. I think I've got a pen in my ear though" he smiled

" How did you know it was me?" she asked.

"That perfume you always wear, smells like the inside of a cattery."

"Oi! That cost £30 a bottle."

"Well I hope you kept the receipt," he chuckled.

"Why Jim Carver?" Roz suddenly asked breaking the silence.

"What?" said Nick looking around.

"Why did you lock me in the stationary cupboard with Jim Carver?"

"Are you still on about this?"

"Nick!"

"OK I locked you both up so sooner or later you would work out your differences and reveal your true feelings for each other and so ending in a big white wedding happily ever after," he replied sarcastically. "Stop being so paranoid I never knew he was in there. I didn't set up a complex web of tricks to confuse and embarrass you, it just happened he must've walked in a minute or so before you came by I suppose."

"Oh right" she replied unemotionally.

"Didn't really think he'd get up to naughties with you did you?"

"It could've been anyone in there. I heard a WPC was sexually assaulted in the locker room once, you call that safe?"

"Just rumours, not like it was being used for a spare cell was it. Why, old letch make a grab for you did he? "

"He was a perfect gentleman which is more than I could say for you!"

"Was he? Well you better watch out Roz these May to December romances have a history of not working out," he said grumpily.

Fed up, Roz moved further away, crossed her arms and went back to her thoughts.

"Right!" said Jim standing up, still holding his stomach, "let's get out of here I can't stand this anymore."

"Door's still locked" mumbled Roz, still sat against it. "I've been knocking for the past couple of minutes I guess no-one heard."

"I'll burst down the door then, should just take a sharp whack to get it open. Have a listen, see if anyone's out there."

"Probably all out there laughing at me."

"At us. I'm in here too remember. Must be someone's idea of a joke, you'd be surprised just how many comedians we get wearing the blue serge around here and Christmas time's one of the worst especially when there's booze flowing freely. I remember Christmas 1985, or was it 86, Taffy Edwards smuggled this keg into the canteen…"

Roz put her ear to the door, half fulfilling his request, half not wanting to hear another boring story from Sun Hill's history, Reg Hollis had told her enough to last a lifetime. She heard laughing, everyone was probably out there chattering away like hyenas. Steadily she moved down the door and applied her eye to the keyhole but all she could see was half a dozen waistlines.

"Well why's she in there?" someone said.

"Dunno, must've got lost on the way to the toilet's."

"Oh, come on leave Roz alone she's not that bad y'know." It was Reg, he was so sweet to defend her and she blushed slightly.

"Really Reg, she's nothin' more than a silly little girl" Smithy.

"No no she could be a fine copper someday, Sergeant Ackland thinks so to. Just because she doesn't dash into things like a bull in a china shop, like some people. She actually stops and thinks about what she's doing."

"I think" he replied.

"Yeah, about how many plates you've just broken and I bet that takes a while too" Vicky Hagen.

"Still at least I don't get me-self locked in stationary cupboards."

"I agree wi' Reg, she's no' that bad" Duncan's broad Scottish accent rang out in the sea of voices.

"What, 'Clarke of the Yard', don't make me laugh."

"Depends what yard and what time eh ha-ha." Dave Quinnan mouthing off.

"…and you should've seen Conway's face," ended Jim. "Right anyone out there?"

"No-one important" she sighed.

"Stand well back I'm going to break the lock," he continued but Roz was still looking through the keyhole and not paying much attention. She wanted to tear herself away but couldn't, she just had to know what they were saying behind her back.

"Alright what's going on out here?" Oh God Sergeant Ackland had just appeared from around the corner.

"Roz has locked herself in the stationary cupboard, Sarge."

"And none of you has thought to help her out I suppose. Where's the key anyway?"

"Dunno."

"That's just it, Sarge we can't find it."

"Break it down then."

"Can't do that, Sarge. Mr. Conway will do 'is nut e's been on another economy drive we're supposed to be saving money. If we…"

"Shut up Reg!" snapped Vicky.

"Well we could…hang on, what's that noise" June continued.

Roz heard it too, a strange rumbling sound that was coming from behind her. She turned around to see Jim charging towards her, shoulders first ready to break down the door, and stepped aside quickly.

"Hold on Jim, Jim No!!!" she warned. In an attempt to stop him she grabbed onto his arm but his strength lifted her light frame off its feet and dragged her through the air.

CRASH!!!

The stationary cupboard door shattered into a number of pieces and Roz felt a flurry of splinters hit her face and her normally perfectly styled hair now flowed freely in all directions as she flew. Jim tripped and fell over a big piece of wood, flinging Roz onto his back and bringing them both down onto the cold, hard station floor with a thud. She had her eyes tightly closed, screwed up, afraid to open them. When she did a cloud of dust and splinters faced her that soon cleared to show an array of black shoes. She looked up unsteadily to see the faces of all her friends and colleagues killing themselves with laughter apart from one, the stern face of Sergeant Ackland. Jim's face looked more emotionally hurt than anything else as he spluttered to explain himself amongst the jibes and comments of his friends.

"Jim's struck it lucky then."

"I didn't know she liked 'em that old."

"Where are 'is 'andcuffs that's what I want to know!"

"Cradle-snatcher!"

"You couldn't afford her Jim!"

"What the hells going on here!" demanded June.

"June…I…it's not what it looks like I swear to you…I…"stuttered Jim.

"I find that hard to believe somehow, Jim. I break off from the mountain of paperwork, I have to complete before the end of the week, to investigate a noise then suddenly you two smash the door down and fall flat on your a …"

"June, what's going on here?" Inspector Monroe came around the corner clutching a heap of files.

"Ar…Ah sir, well I…"she said turning around.

At that moment it all got too much for Roz, the comments, the sneering and not one but two of her senior officers coming around the corner to witness her embarrassment and she stepped off Jim's back, tripping slightly on his arm, and ran crying into the toilets covering her face with her hands.

"Sorry sir, I better she see how she is. Roz!" said June excluding herself from the scene and following Roz into the cubicles.

"Right, come and see me after you've finished we really need to get these new rosta's sorted out and then perhaps you'll explain what this was all about" said Andrew sternly as she walked away muttering "Yes sir".

Jim stood up and started to dust himself down, holding his painful head with one hand. Those that had not run off when the Inspector had appeared were still standing around watching the fallout.

"Seen enough? Now can everyone get back to work now please or I'll get Reg to start a collection for a new door. Not you, Jim I'll see you in my office immediately!" Andrew continued before walking off in the direction of his office with Jim doggedly following.

Roz could still hear the ongoing conversations outside the toilets as she sat, locked in one of the cubicles, sobbing into a mess of Andrex and tissues feeling humiliated. Looking back on it after a few hours didn't take any of the hurt away. A couple of knocks on the cubicle door made her eventually look up, her mascara running down her cheeks.

"Roz, it's Sar…June Ackland. Are you all right? Open the door if you want to talk about it, if you don't that's OK but you know you can come and talk to me any time there's very little that's gone on in this station that hasn't happened before, you can't surprise me."

Roz reluctantly got up, opened the door and fell gently into June's arms. She helped her over to the sink, dried her eyes and wiped away the streams of mascara from her cheeks.

"There, there, now tell me slowly what happened."

"I'm s-sorry I ran away, S-Sarge it just got t-to much with y-you and Mr M-Monroe and everyone else laughing at m-me and now my head hurts s-so much and…and…"

"Slow down, now tell me why you were in there in the first place."

"I went in to get some s-stuff for Nick Klein and next I heard a slam and a click and I tried the door but it was…someone must've locked me in."

"Did they!" said June in a sharp but knowing tone of voice. "Look it may be none of my business but are…you and Jim seeing each other?

"Oh Sarge!" she screamed keeling back over into the sink and continuing to cry " he was just in there at the time I don't know why, nothing happened between us you're just the same as all the others!"

"Oh Roz I'm sorry…" replied June putting her arms around her.

A knock came at the toilet door.

"June, what's going on in there?" interrupted Boyden.

"Matt, go away I've got my hands full at the moment."

"Just tell Roz to stop malingering on I need her back in CAD. Terry and Sam have to be in court in an hour."

"Leave it with me, can't someone else cover for now?"

"Alright but she better be back before the end of the shift though" he replied storming off.

" C'mon cheer-up" comforted June, "remember Mrs. Goldstone, the sudden death you attended on the Brontè a couple of months ago? You handled that so professionally and that was so much worse than this."

"Mrs. Goldstone isn't going to turn up everyday laughing at me" she replied dryly, moving away from June but slumping down against the sink.

She was still sitting in that position now only with her head resting against a stone cross rather than a china bowl. A tear was still lodged in her eye as she thought about it all, remembering some details that she'd previously repressed, and wanting to distance herself even further from the rest of the relief and the festivities. She didn't need them she was fine sitting here with the huge orange tarantula…wait, huge orange tarantula, where did that come from? She looked over to Nick who was chatting away to himself.

"…Climbing up your back, thick orange fur, eight long legs…oh you are awake then," he said glaring blankly at her.

Roz suddenly paid attention to him, like the volume on his voice had suddenly been turned up. Nick, still bored out of his mind, had tried to scare her out of her seemingly motionless state.

"What?"

"We're supposed to be on watch here, doesn't help you keep nodding off over there. You want to watch that you fall asleep here and you'll be six feet under before you know it."

"Sorry"

"Well I…hang on what's that noise?" he said slowly leaping up.

"I'm not falling for it, Nick. I don't believe in any large orange spiders so just sit down OK."

"No, I hear something, like a hissing or rustling sound."

"Don't tell me, python covered in thick orange fur."

"It's not a joke. I think someone's moving about down near the church entrance, c'mon lets go," he said grabbing her arm making her yelp slightly in pain. That same arm had been nearly wrenched out of its socket earlier that day by Jim. They moved forward, spreading out and approaching the entrance from both directions. Nick could see a shadow, about medium height, probably a teenager working alone. Roz looked in vain but couldn't see any shape.

"Sierra Oscar from 140, suspect on the plot, over."

"140 from 235, I've got eye contact, I'm going in."

Nick heard the click of an asp and the rustle of leaves and bushes as she moved through the tree from the other side of the graveyard.

"235 from 140, Roz stay there we'll go in together" he hissed, but she had enough of waiting in a cold graveyard mulling over her sorrows and just wanted to get the whole day over and done with, get home and get into that hot bath. The shadow was on the move and Roz followed with Nick closely behind coming from the left hand side. It stopped and started to spray something over one of the windows, oblivious the officer's presence.

"POLICE! STAY WHERE YOU ARE!" shouted Roz.

The shape was visible shocked and just froze to the spot enabling her to get a better look. It was definitely male, about five feet tall, swathed in black clothes and was carrying two tins of spray paint. On the window behind him the darkness covered the letters 'H', 'A' and 'P'. She moved forward to make the arrest and so did the boy who made an immediate dash across the forecourt. Nick saw the action and cut across the yard in an attempt to head him off, still limping slightly, while Roz followed along behind. The boy seemed to be getting out of breath, or unsure where to run to but Roz was quicker and more determined so when she gained enough distance on him she lashed out with the asp and struck his legs. He fell to the ground letting out a yell.

"Aarghh, stop it, please stop. Leave me alone!"

"STOP POLICE!" cried Nick running across the field arriving just as the blow struck but as the boy fell he fumbled with the aerosol cans and caught Nick with a blast of paint.

"Hey! My new shirt! You little git!"

The intruder hit the cold, gravelled ground with a thud with several small stones imprinting themselves on his face. He groaned slightly as Roz pulled him back up, slapped the handcuffs on and threw him up against the cold, smooth brick wall of the church.

"Right! Nick 'im! Now!" shouted Nick.

"I am arresting you for criminal damage you do not have to say anything …" began Roz while Nick paced around the car park trying to wipe the paint off his shirt or think of something that will do it for him.

"Fifty notes flushed down the drain," he moaned to himself. He felt someone tug at his arm, trying to yank him over to the wall. As a reflex he defended himself by yanking the arm forward, unsettling the attacker, and threw him back. He grabbed his assailant's shirt collar, he was a tall, gangly man wearing a black suit, Nick suspected he could be another intruder so he was flung against the wall parallel to Roz's arrest. A bright yellow light suddenly flickered on and bathed them all in its glow.

"What's that?" gasped Roz.

"Must be the security light of God," replied Nick starring at his attacker for the first time. The man was in his 30's with thinning brown hair that was now in a mess following the fight and he was starring at Nick with frightened eyes.

"L-Let me g-go" he stuttered.

"Do you know what I've had to put up with tonight, mate?" ranted Nick, "I've 'ad me knee smashed against a tomb, your mate's just duluxed my best shirt and I've 'ad to put up with a moody bird all night just to feel your collar. Give me one reason why I shouldn't make you the next resident of this little place!"

"L-let me g-go or I-I'll call the p-police" the man stuttered.

"I am the police sunshine, PC Nick Klein. What's your name now we're on such friendly terms?"

"The Reverend Simon Richardson" he replied with a shaky air of authority.

June Ackland walked in slowly through the doors of The Elcott Arms glad her mountain of paperwork was significantly reduced and ready to let her hair down for the night. The pub was unusually festive, even for Christmas time. A large, new fir tree resided in the corner by the aged jukebox decorated with vast amounts of gleaming tinsel and brightly coloured baubles. June thought she recognised it from a lorry-load that was stolen from a garden centre a fortnight ago. The same couldn't be said for the decorations though, hardly new, most were faded & torn and were at least seven years old. One 'Happy Xmas' banner still had a large tear, now taped together, where Steve Loxton had try to swing on it at one party. Another year Ted Roach had burnt a large hole in the carpet with a careless cigarette, a hole that was now lying quite close to a table occupied by the relief. She almost missed seeing her friends, lost in nostalgia and festivities.

"June, over here" Tony Stamp beckoned her over to the tables and stools containing most of the station. She caught the eye of Jim Carver who was standing sheepishly in a corner, clutching an orange juice, trying to make conversation with Duncan Lennox about doughnut shops. He looked over at her and smiled, she bashfully smiled back but turned away to the rest of the relief.

"All quiet back at the fort?" asked Tony.

"Not too much going on, I should watch yourselves though Andrew Monroe was right behind me."

"Must be Cass's round then" he grinned.

"Oi! I paid last time."

"You owe June a drink then, go on."

"We all know it's your turn Tony Tightwad" she replied.

"No, its OK, I'll get my own drink then" June laughed quietly moving over to the bar. Jim noticed, broke off his conversation and followed her over.

"Hi, can I get you anything?"

"Alright Gin and Tonic please and I hope that's not alcohol in your hand, Jim Carver" she smiled.

"No, no strictly orange juice tonight although I might be persuaded into a Pepsi later on. The night is young after all and so are we" he joked.

"Don't be getting too wild on me" she smiled. "Do you…miss it I mean especially at this time of year?"

"Sometimes, depends who I'm with though" he replied " some people I'd rather remain sober when I'm near."

June blushed.

"New perfume" he added taking a light sniff.

"I'm all out actually, I had to borrow some from Roz before I came out. Do you like it?"

"Smells lovely"

"Thank you, " she said blushing slightly again.

"Incidentally how did your meeting with Mr Monroe go after…well, this morning's 'events?"

"He wasn't so bad, laughed a bit though. Turns out it was another of Nick Klein's little jokes according to the station gossip, he's becoming the Jeremy Beadle of the station that bloke."

"Nick Klein! Well he's certainly not going to get away with that," he said determinedly.

"Don't worry I think he's already paid the price" she giggled.

"Is that what Radical Reg is doing spinning the discs?"

"Yup, Mr Monroe decided to leave it up to me to dish out an appropriate punishment. Oh, how did you get on with him anyway?"

"Surprisingly understanding, trod quite carefully. He was sure Roz and I were having an affair though."

"But you're definitely not though."

"June!" he laughed "no, I'm still Sun Hill's most eligible bachelor, penthouse flat, champagne, screaming girls, meals for one and all that. Available to anyone who'll have me"

"Oh, oh good" she murmured quietly.

"And here's another golden oldie for you to get on down to…" Reg interrupted.

"Any chance of something from the 21st century, Reg" came a shout from the back.

Reg clammed up, a little miffed that his choice of music was being ridiculed, he never wanted this job and only agreed after June had pleaded with him an hour ago when he was putting out the sausage rolls. Laying an LP onto one of the decks he placed the needle into position, sat back and took a sip of his pint letting the opening notes of Sonny and Cher's 'I Got You, Babe' fill the pub.

"Aaah, I used to love this song when I was young, d'you fancy a dance" Jim asked.

"Why not" replied June putting down her drink and letting him lead her onto the dance floor.

"You look a bit stunned, Constable," said The Reverend.

"Well…I apologise your…er…worship I thought you were a pal of matey, here, e's the bloke that's been doing over your church lately" replied Nick.

" Apology accepted Constable and not so much of the 'your worship' please, makes me feel about a hundred years old. Call me Simon or 'Slim' for short."

"Slim?"

"Yes an unfortunate moniker my teenage parishioners, when they deign it worthy to turn up that is, gave me. I suppose it's because of my height, always been a sore point and a target for bullies it has."

"Could be a lot worse, mate, when I was at Hendon they used to call me 'Calvin' because of my last name" he said blushing slightly "plus I used to wear a lot of flash gear, best dressed probationer I was."

Roz giggled.

"Yeah well, perhaps I shouldn't have said anything."

"I've heard a lot worse than that in the confessional box, you would be surprised how much involves Sun Hill Police Station too. So anyway this is our man, well boy I suppose. Who is it, is he known to you? I can't see his face under that balaclava.

"Should find out, Roz if you would handle the grand unveiling."

"Bit like the end of Scooby Doo this, well take a good look transport will be arriving any minute" she replied hauling the boy forward and tearing off his balaclava.

"My God it's Anthony Bell" gasped Simon " Officers I know this boy he's one of my regulars and his family are very well known in this area, they are always helping out at our events. Mr Bell contributes quite often to the 'Bring and Buy's' and Mrs Bell does quite a lot of baking to raise money for charity through our coffee mornings and sales. I don't think you're very likely to get a conviction here his family will back him to the hilt. Have you heard of Alan Parkmore? I believe he's their solicitor."

"Yeah, I know 'im. Last time we met I could've thrown the annoying twit in a cell, never mind the little toe-rag he was trying to get off a burglary charge."

"But Reverend your statement will help," chipped in Roz "you've I.D'd him and you must've heard him creeping about, you even came to see what the noise was. There's even some graffiti behind you."

Anthony looked very nervous and barely spoke apart from mumbling to himself before trying to speak "Vicar please, no. I was told it was… going to be fine…you said that it was going to be…"

Simon suddenly exhaled loudly attracting Nick's attention. Was he expressing disbelief or trying to signal to the boy?

"I'm afraid I can't make a statement I didn't really hear anything apart from you two trampling all over my sacred ground. As for that graffiti well that could've been there from an earlier incident, where are the spray cans anyway? Poor Anthony may have scared off the real culprits. I'm afraid it's all very circumstantial."

Nick looked around for the spray cans but they were lost amongst gravestones and darkness and Nick wasn't about to scrabble around looking for them.

"With respect, sir that's complete crap we've got more than enough to charge him and he was caught red-handed by PC Clarke."

"Good you won't need my statement then. The Bell's are good parishioners and good friend's of mine who have raised a lot of money for this church and it wouldn't be done if I helped you to give their son a criminal record."

" But what about the damage done to the building, it will take a whole rack of collection plates to pay for this lot to be cleaned up every time this idiot comes back. Mr Richardson we have received a number of complaints about these crimes and now you're telling me you want to wash your hands of the whole thing!" shouted Nick frantically.

"I haven't complained at all. Actually it was Mrs Winters who came to see your Sergeant about this whole affair. Nice lady but a bit of an old busybody, always poking her nose in whenever she can, one of these old gossips you see. Won't hear a word said against her of course marvellous woman, does a lot of good work for this church and there are a lot of day's I couldn't do without her" Simon coolly replied.

"But what about the damage!" stressed Nick.

"Surely it must be driving people away from St Mary's though having it degraded in this way with the threat of more hanging over it" added Roz.

"No, not at all, quite the opposite in fact the place has acquired a new kind of 'cool' or 'street cred', if those are the right words, thanks to the slogans. Much better than any display or ad campaign I could come up with and much cheaper to boot. Certainly more effective than anything old Billy Davison over at the St Steven's in Watermans Road could come up with. People these days forget the importance of Christmas as a religious festival and this speaks to the youth of Sun Hill in their own language. Indeed I must thank, rather than persecute, whoever created this work. No rude words, no offensive pictures depicting genitalia, just bringing the festive spirit back to the church where it belongs and acknowledging that it is still Christ's birthday!"

Sierra Oscar 2 arrived outside, Roz marched Anthony through the large wooden gates and into the back.

"I still need a statement from you Reverend, sorry, Simon. Not now of course I understand that this is a very busy time for you but if you could pop down to the station sometime before your turkey I would be very pleased" Nick said half hearted and sarcastically."

"But I've just told you I don't want to get involved."

"But I think you are involved Simon, I think you are up to your neck in involvement. That boy looks like he would need 10 pints just to pluck up the courage to think of doing something like this. I think you're behind it just to draw attention to both this church and yourself. Large crowd come the big day, looks pretty good in the old Bishop's eyes doesn't it when it comes to handing out promotion especially if it means getting out of a rough old parish like this and into somewhere more civilised, Surrey perhaps or a nice place in the Cotswolds. Looks good all round."

"Can you prove it?" he said dryly.

"Course not"

"Then how dare you accuse me and bombard both me and my profession with these blasphemous slurs. I shall be making a complaint to your Superintendent and you still won't get a statement from me" he smiled

"Oh I think you will talk. You can't claim you're not here tonight, myself, my colleague and the boy have all seen you and a refusal to help won't exactly look good will it people will think you've got something to hide. Plus there's Mrs Winters and you can bet your boots we'll find a lot more just like her to vent their outrage once this gets out. That kid was caught red handed by two police officers, I've seen his type before once he's away from mummy and daddy for a few hours in a cold, dark, prison cell, a couple of days away from Christmas no less, he'll probably crack like an egg. I wonder what he'll say, don't you? So I'll see you down at the station then even if you only heard a mouse squeak out here I want it in writing!" demanded Nick coolly.

"First thing in the morning then, constable" he muttered dejectedly.

"That'll do nicely, thank you…oh…and Merry Christmas" he added bitterly, getting into the back of the van.

Half an hour later Roz and Nick were walking back out of the gates of Sun Hill Police station.

"That's it, I'm off to the pub!" stomped Nick.

"So you're just going to leave him there" protested Roz.

"He's fifteen, Roz. His parents have to be there, remember. While you were cleaning up, Sergeant Cryer rang them, turns out they're in Manchester 'till the morning but they won't let another adult or even a social worker near their sweet little hoodlum, not even the twenty year old 'nanny' they left 'im with. I don't care any more let the little brat stew until tomorrow that's what I say."

"Do you really think that Reverend Richardson had something to do with it?" she asked.

"Yeah, pampered twit like 'im couldn't have come up with this on his own or have the guts to carry it out. Never have enough to charge 'im though. The Bell's solicitor will probably get Anthony off on a warning anyway" he sighed.

"When I came out of the locker room I checked the DIU and surprise, surprise there's no file on Richardson or any of the Bell's…"

"Yeah, so what, waste of time, I could've told you that."

"…But it also said that you know who goes to the same school as John Traynor."

"Not that little thug!"

"Yup, they're both in the same year and the Traynor's also attend St Mary's regularly."

"I bet it's only for confession though, one session probably lasts a couple of months with that lot."

"John could still be involved though, c'mon let's give him a tug" she said, pulling at his arm and skipping along the pavement.

"You sound more enthusiastic all of a sudden" he muttered.

"I'm in the mood now after that scuffle. I wanna bust a few heads, make myself feel better" she smiled.

" You've been hanging around Smithy too long."

"Better than beating myself up" she mused quietly.

"That's the spirit and speaking of which let me buy you a pint. Make up for earlier" he offered doggedly.

She thought about it for a moment as they walked on past the station and in the direction of The Elcott Arms. Perhaps tonight won't have been a total waste after all, maybe they wouldn't start laughing and taunting her.

"Don't let everyone there put you off" added Nick "after all you still have a body to rub their noses with."

"Eww."

"You know what I mean."

"What, some spotty teenager?" she said looking puzzled.

"Don't knock it, that Clearasil can be stronger than Mace at times. Seriously though, rest of the relief don't know what 'e looks like, could be Ronnie Kray as far as they know, all be too tanked to remember what we said anyway."

"I suppose…what about those three strong thieves you said you arrested single-handedly last week? Never actually saw them myself but there was this small sixteen year old you…"

"Alright so that was a small porky. What about this drink though?" he said blushing slightly.

"OK one drink though then its home and bed for me."

"Sounds brilliant, what time shall I be there?" he smiled, putting his arm around her. To the surprise of both of them she didn't shrug it off.

"You know I'm glad you showed up tonight, it meant a lot to me that you're willing to make up for what you did" she said quietly, resting her head on his shoulder and holding his hand.

Nick suddenly went quiet, starting to get a few pangs of guilt about his prank. He thought back to a few hours earlier when he had walked out of the station for the first time and marched towards St Mary's in a temper.

He had arrived outside Sergeant Ackland's office just in time to see Jim Carver emerge with a broad grin on his face.

"Good news, Jim?"

"Something like that."

"Any idea what she wants to see me about? I could really do without one of her lectures I've got to get on?"

" I'm sure whatever she has to say will be beneficial to you, she is your senior officer after all. Right well I'm off for a shower and then to the pub, I'll see you later, yeah?"

"Yup, first port of call after this, take care mate" Nick replied knocking on the door and walking through.

"Sarge, Di said you wanted a word with me?"

"Ah yes, sit down, Nick. I won't be a moment" June replied smiling and shuffling some papers into a tray. This worried Nick slightly, putting him on his guard.

"Is this gonna be long only I've got to get off to The Elcott Arms and warm up the old decks

for tonight's bash."

" I understand and I promise I'll be as brief as possible, I don't want to be here too long either. In short I know it was you that locked Roz Clarke in the stationary cupboard with Jim Carver…"

"Now Sarge…I…"

"…Let me finish, you're not worming out of it this time. Now Roz, distraught after all this, has taken Dave and Polly's place on the obbo at St Mary's so that she won't have to face all those people after your 'joke'. She needs some back-up and I've decided that it will be you."

"But it was just a joke…"

"It was 'just a joke' eight month's ago, how do I know this is going to be the end of it, Nick. How do I know that this isn't some personal vendetta between the two of you and I don't want to know if this will escalate once Roz decides to get her own back. I also don't need two dedicated officers to be publicly fighting each other when they are supposed to be out there catching criminals. Now I know these jokes help boost morale every now and then, I've laughed at many of them myself in the past but it's not so easy on the other side of the coin and I've got to do something to stop it. Today you're locking people in cupboards, tomorrow you could be putting a whoopee cushion on Mr. Chandler's chair and getting yourself into serious trouble. So you will go and help Roz plus you will tell her the truth and make peace with her. This need go no further, Mr Monroe need no nothing about who was behind it."

" Hold on, what about my gig tonight?" he protested.

"Well I think that until this vandal is behind bars Reg Hollis will…"

"Hollis, aww what!"

"Better get out there quick then" June smiled watching him rush out of the door with a face like thunder.

"You're quiet"

Roz's soft voice brought Nick back to the present.

"Something up, 'Calvin'?" she asked mischievously.

"Gonna start on that now are we?" he grumbled.

"Some of my mates used to call me 'boot' in school" she blushed.

"What! Why!"

"Something to do with having the last name the same as a shoe shop" she added still blushing.

"Or it could've been a reference to your vast collection of shoes" he joked.

"Oi!" she shouted kicking his leg.

"Aaahh! What's the matter with you can't you leave me alone!" he cried in pain, clutching his leg again.

Roz helped Nick through the doors of The Elcott Arms where they were greeted with an almighty roar from the rest of the relief. June, still in Jim's arms after two dances, looked up briefly.

"Ah, the lovers return," said Tony.

" Spent the night together then in a beautiful moonlight graveyard and a bag of chips for two" said Sam.

"You been Tangoed, Nick?" asked Tony, starring at the paint on his shirt.

"Shit! I forgot to change my shirt," he said starring down at the luminous orange paint, rapidly drying, on his garment amongst some of the dried mud from before.

"You could've reminded me before we left the station!" he shouted at Roz, starring daggers.

"Just a little joke, Nick. Harmless prank, like you say. How about that drink now?" she giggled.

"Yeah, yeah right" he muttered begrudgingly, not wanting to start everything all over again, and instead turning his rage onto the DJ. "Reg, shut that racket off! I'm putting on some proper tunes once I've had a pint!"

"Get lucky then, Nick" continued Tony "just between you and me I think she prefers older men," he whispered loudly.

"I think you might be in with a shot there, Tone 'cos it looks like she may have some competition" said Cass indicating towards Jim and June with her bottle.

Roz looked crestfallen and about to burst into tears again until Nick leapt to her defence.

"It was just a joke alright just a joke, just my joke that went a bit…wrong and quite frankly I wish I'd never done it. Roz doesn't fancy Jim he was just in the cupboard at the wrong time so let's just all shut up about it and concentrate on having a good time and getting hammered OK!" he said sounding more irritated by the minute.

"Eye, eye I reckon he wants him for himself," joked Tony.

"I've always thought you might be that way inclined," added Cass.

"Look trust me no-one loves Jim Carver!" shouted Nick storming off to the bar.

June looked up, heard Nick's outburst and pulled her old friend a little bit closer.

The End