Not in That Way Chapter 1: Through Shawn's Eyes, a psych fanfic

A/N: Hi Guys! Sorry I haven't published a story in a while, school has been really busy. Anyways, this is my first Psych fanfiction I have posted, so I hope you enjoy it! It is going to have two separate parts, so keep your eyes open for the next part. Please review!

Disclaimer: Still, I own nothing, NOTHING.

And I hate to say I love you

When it's so hard for me

And I hate to say I want you

When you make it so clear you don't want me

Shawn was sitting on his bed, his face blank. His alarm clock read 3:07am, but it was another sleepless night for the pseudo-psychic. Thoughts of Juliet, the beautiful blonde detective that he had fallen completely and utterly in love with ran through his mind on an endless repeat. He loved her with all his heart and soul, since the moment he laid eyes on her, but there was absolutely nothing he could do about it. She didn't feel the same way about him, and Juliet had made that crystal clear several times.

2008

"You're one of my best friends," Juliet told Shawn as they were walking out of the precinct to get some lunch. "I just don't want to lose you."

Shawn had tried to convince her to go out with him several times, and each time she said "no" he would pretend like it was no big deal, or that he was joking, or that he was just mindlessly flirting. But this time, this rejection hurt the most. Shawn loved their friendship, it was so important to him, but he didn't know how much longer he could keep his feelings at bay.

Shawn just tried to shake it off, "You'll never lose me," he responded.

Present

Shawn yearned for something more, he needed to kiss her, to hold her hand, to feel her skin up against his. He needed to be something more than just friends.

Maybe Juliet didn't realize how much Shawn actually loved her. He flirted with her almost every single day, but it's not like flirting actually means anything. It was just that Shawn could never gather up enough courage to actually tell her how much he really loved her.

I'd never ask you cause deep down

I'm certain I know what you'd say

You'd say I'm sorry believe me I love you

Just not in that way

Her beautiful smile, her child-like laugh, how could Shawn not fall in love with her? Juliet cared so much about others, she put her life on the line every day to save someone she hardly knew. She was perfect, and he was just a fool in love.

And I hate to say I need you

I'm so reliant

I'm so dependent

I'm such a fool

Shawn would see Juliet with a boyfriend occasionally. It broke his heart a little more each time he saw another man's arms around her waist, another man's lips kissing hers.

Shawn would silently curse to himself. That should be me holding her hand, he thought to himself. That should be me walking down the pier with her, kissing her on the beach, holding her close to me and refusing to let her go.

At least Juliet was happy, all Shawn wanted was to see her happy. If she would never reciprocate his feelings toward her, at least she was content in another man's arms, no matter how much it hurt Shawn to see her in someone else's arms.

You will never know this feeling

You will never see through these eyes

It was a pain that Shawn could not describe, a pain that was so hard to bare. His heart was shattered and stomped on. No one could feel the pain he felt, no one understood. Shawn longed for Juliet, but she did not long for him. He loved her with every fiber in his being, and the worst pain ever was knowing that there was absolutely nothing he could do about it.

The exhausted pseudo-psychic opened his eyes and sighed. It was 3:52 am. Shawn laid on his back and stared at the ceiling. It had been a long day, and an even longer night. His heart ached as he finally closed his eyes to try to find sleep.

I'd never ask you cause deep down

I'm certain I know what you'd say

You'd say I'm sorry believe me

I love you but not in that way