Some Flowers Bloom Dead
Song fic
Angelica Diablo
Disclaimer: Don't own the Ronins. The Wallflowers wrote the song.
"We didn't make it
We did not pull thru'…"
Kale sat in the cool darkness. No light could penetrate down here. Nothing could hurt
him. Nothing could get to him.
After the fall of Tulpa he'd just sort of floated. Floated around and accomplished
absolutely nothing. He stood and stretched. He'd have to find Dais soon, make sure
everyone was still surviving alright. He didn't really want to interrupt Dais too soon
though, Dais was probably making out with Kayura at the moment anyway.
"You shouldn't blame me
I don't blame you…"
He shook his head. He'd always envied Dais in that respect. It was a cold envy; he
didn't have any feelings for Kayura himself, he just wished he'd found something to do
with himself like Dais had.
"Now what else did you think
That I would do?
As if it wasn't hard enough…"
He'd even been so bored he'd gone to look in on the Ronins. They seemed to be
wondering what to do with their lives as well. He envied them though too…they had
each other, as well as the whole world. It wasn't as if he wanted to join them, it was the
fact that they had a purpose that he envied. Or at least they had the means to a purpose.
He had little to nothing to do with the rest of his long life.
"I'm so tired of waking up
Feelin' bad
You haven't been the kind of place I have…"
Now that he was free from Tulpa's control he'd been almost gloomy one moment, then
stormy the next. He didn't know what to do now, and didn't want to go on with this
touch of guilt he felt in all the things he'd done in the past.
All right, touch of guilt was an understatement. But it didn't change things much. What
was he supposed to have done?
"It couldn't have hurt you now
To let this pass
As if it wasn't hard enough
You wanna make it so much harder…"
He remembered the look in the eyes of the little girl he'd passed on the street his first
time returning to Earth after the Dynasty fell. Perhaps her mind had recognized him
from her nightmares.
Even though the people had been returned without any memories of what had
happened, some of the children seemed to have recurring dreams about the tortures that
had gone on in there.
This little girl had looked him right in the eyes and shrunk back as if his gaze were as
poisonous as one of Sekhmets swords. In her eyes was a bitter accusation that he had
been one of the ones who, from time to time, went to check up on the prisoners.
"Now in another world
I could learn to forget
But 'till then I'm here
Making room for new regrets…"
As soon as he'd been able, he'd ducked down an alleyway and teleported back to the
Dynasty. Back to his rooms. Back to where her eyes couldn't accuse him anymore.
He'd known he had no good reason to be down there among the people who he had
helped try to destroy. He had simply been searching for something. Something he
couldn't bring himself to figure out.
"Now some flowers they never bloom
But some flowers just bloom dead…"
He knew he was a failure at this new life. He left the darkness of the cave and just
walked through the woods for a short while, killing time really. He did a lot of that now
a days. Kill time.
He found a small patch of wildflowers blooming in a slant of sunlight. They were hardy
things, struggling to reach the warm light and the moisture of the soil at the same time.
Stretching for both light and dark, needing both to survive. He caught himself staring at
them for several long moments.
"The way you make me feel
I could collapse
An epidemic I cannot outlast…"
Even these flowers seemed to know their purpose in life, taunting him with his lack
there of. Yet as he looked closer, he found imperfections within them.
"How can you feel used
When I feel trapped?
As if it wasn't hard enough…"
He kept walking, stepping on a few of the dainty-looking flowers as he passed them by.
He couldn't stop thinking, and it was a painful process too. This thinking could drive a
man insane.
He chuckled slightly to himself. Wasn't he already considered insane by most who
knew him? What did it matter anyway…
"Just as my conscience
Starts to clear
I drag the river and you're still there…"
He'd been fine just a week ago. He, Sekhmet, Dais, and Kayura had been lounging
around the castle. They'd joked and talked, and had an over all good time. It was as if
all their isms had gone away for the day.
Then he'd started thinking again. Why did he always allow himself to do this?
"The way I bring you down
Could not compare
As if it wasn't hard enough
You wanna make it so much harder…"
He teleported away, back to his rooms. Away from everything. Away from bright
flowers, but not from his thoughts…
"Now in another world
I could learn to forget
But 'till then I'm here
Making room for new regrets…"
Dais was wandering the woods. He knew Kale sometimes haunted this area, and
wondered if he'd run into his brother in battle.
He had noticed that lately Kale had been acting withdrawn. Well, more than normal
anyway. Even Sekhmet had noticed it enough to mention something to Dais a few days
ago.
"The way I sleep
This bed just can't be made
I pull the covers up around my head…"
Dais sighed as he walked. Kale was hard to figure out sometimes, he always kept
himself behind a shroud of shadows. Perhaps he was just lonely. Dais knew how
thoughts could creep up on you when you didn't have someone to share life with.
Kale had perhaps found an object of his desire, someone that he couldn't reach. Dais
shook his head. He wondered when Kale would say anything, or if he'd just spend the
rest of his time floating around in his own world until whoever it was, was dead and
gone.
"Now when I think of me
I think of somebody else instead…"
By now Kale's mind had probably filled up with an illusion of it's own. And didn't Dais
know enough about illusions; he'd made his life by them at one point. He knew that if
Kale let his mind twist the facts it would only muddle the situation and make things
worse.
"As if it wasn't hard enough
You're gonna make it so much harder
Now in another world
I could learn to forget
But 'till then I'm here
Making room for new regrets…"
Dais came to a patch of flowers, trying to scratch out some rough existence. Several of
them were dark brown, dead. Even though all their counterparts were doing fine, these
few flowers couldn't make it.
Dais sighed. Perhaps those flowers were like Kale's state of mind. They couldn't make
it in the place they were in, or perhaps weren't made to. Perhaps they bloomed like that.
"Now some flowers they never bloom
And some flowers just bloom dead…"
Dais decided he wasn't going to run into Kale out here. He teleported back, only to find
Kayura waiting for him in his rooms. With a smile he took her in his arms and kissed
her, glad he had her at that moment.
"Now some flowers they never boom…"
Kale sat alone in his room, out of the sunlight that came though his window. He was
just staring at the wall in front of him, and thinking.
"And some flowers, they just bloom dead."
Song fic
Angelica Diablo
Disclaimer: Don't own the Ronins. The Wallflowers wrote the song.
"We didn't make it
We did not pull thru'…"
Kale sat in the cool darkness. No light could penetrate down here. Nothing could hurt
him. Nothing could get to him.
After the fall of Tulpa he'd just sort of floated. Floated around and accomplished
absolutely nothing. He stood and stretched. He'd have to find Dais soon, make sure
everyone was still surviving alright. He didn't really want to interrupt Dais too soon
though, Dais was probably making out with Kayura at the moment anyway.
"You shouldn't blame me
I don't blame you…"
He shook his head. He'd always envied Dais in that respect. It was a cold envy; he
didn't have any feelings for Kayura himself, he just wished he'd found something to do
with himself like Dais had.
"Now what else did you think
That I would do?
As if it wasn't hard enough…"
He'd even been so bored he'd gone to look in on the Ronins. They seemed to be
wondering what to do with their lives as well. He envied them though too…they had
each other, as well as the whole world. It wasn't as if he wanted to join them, it was the
fact that they had a purpose that he envied. Or at least they had the means to a purpose.
He had little to nothing to do with the rest of his long life.
"I'm so tired of waking up
Feelin' bad
You haven't been the kind of place I have…"
Now that he was free from Tulpa's control he'd been almost gloomy one moment, then
stormy the next. He didn't know what to do now, and didn't want to go on with this
touch of guilt he felt in all the things he'd done in the past.
All right, touch of guilt was an understatement. But it didn't change things much. What
was he supposed to have done?
"It couldn't have hurt you now
To let this pass
As if it wasn't hard enough
You wanna make it so much harder…"
He remembered the look in the eyes of the little girl he'd passed on the street his first
time returning to Earth after the Dynasty fell. Perhaps her mind had recognized him
from her nightmares.
Even though the people had been returned without any memories of what had
happened, some of the children seemed to have recurring dreams about the tortures that
had gone on in there.
This little girl had looked him right in the eyes and shrunk back as if his gaze were as
poisonous as one of Sekhmets swords. In her eyes was a bitter accusation that he had
been one of the ones who, from time to time, went to check up on the prisoners.
"Now in another world
I could learn to forget
But 'till then I'm here
Making room for new regrets…"
As soon as he'd been able, he'd ducked down an alleyway and teleported back to the
Dynasty. Back to his rooms. Back to where her eyes couldn't accuse him anymore.
He'd known he had no good reason to be down there among the people who he had
helped try to destroy. He had simply been searching for something. Something he
couldn't bring himself to figure out.
"Now some flowers they never bloom
But some flowers just bloom dead…"
He knew he was a failure at this new life. He left the darkness of the cave and just
walked through the woods for a short while, killing time really. He did a lot of that now
a days. Kill time.
He found a small patch of wildflowers blooming in a slant of sunlight. They were hardy
things, struggling to reach the warm light and the moisture of the soil at the same time.
Stretching for both light and dark, needing both to survive. He caught himself staring at
them for several long moments.
"The way you make me feel
I could collapse
An epidemic I cannot outlast…"
Even these flowers seemed to know their purpose in life, taunting him with his lack
there of. Yet as he looked closer, he found imperfections within them.
"How can you feel used
When I feel trapped?
As if it wasn't hard enough…"
He kept walking, stepping on a few of the dainty-looking flowers as he passed them by.
He couldn't stop thinking, and it was a painful process too. This thinking could drive a
man insane.
He chuckled slightly to himself. Wasn't he already considered insane by most who
knew him? What did it matter anyway…
"Just as my conscience
Starts to clear
I drag the river and you're still there…"
He'd been fine just a week ago. He, Sekhmet, Dais, and Kayura had been lounging
around the castle. They'd joked and talked, and had an over all good time. It was as if
all their isms had gone away for the day.
Then he'd started thinking again. Why did he always allow himself to do this?
"The way I bring you down
Could not compare
As if it wasn't hard enough
You wanna make it so much harder…"
He teleported away, back to his rooms. Away from everything. Away from bright
flowers, but not from his thoughts…
"Now in another world
I could learn to forget
But 'till then I'm here
Making room for new regrets…"
Dais was wandering the woods. He knew Kale sometimes haunted this area, and
wondered if he'd run into his brother in battle.
He had noticed that lately Kale had been acting withdrawn. Well, more than normal
anyway. Even Sekhmet had noticed it enough to mention something to Dais a few days
ago.
"The way I sleep
This bed just can't be made
I pull the covers up around my head…"
Dais sighed as he walked. Kale was hard to figure out sometimes, he always kept
himself behind a shroud of shadows. Perhaps he was just lonely. Dais knew how
thoughts could creep up on you when you didn't have someone to share life with.
Kale had perhaps found an object of his desire, someone that he couldn't reach. Dais
shook his head. He wondered when Kale would say anything, or if he'd just spend the
rest of his time floating around in his own world until whoever it was, was dead and
gone.
"Now when I think of me
I think of somebody else instead…"
By now Kale's mind had probably filled up with an illusion of it's own. And didn't Dais
know enough about illusions; he'd made his life by them at one point. He knew that if
Kale let his mind twist the facts it would only muddle the situation and make things
worse.
"As if it wasn't hard enough
You're gonna make it so much harder
Now in another world
I could learn to forget
But 'till then I'm here
Making room for new regrets…"
Dais came to a patch of flowers, trying to scratch out some rough existence. Several of
them were dark brown, dead. Even though all their counterparts were doing fine, these
few flowers couldn't make it.
Dais sighed. Perhaps those flowers were like Kale's state of mind. They couldn't make
it in the place they were in, or perhaps weren't made to. Perhaps they bloomed like that.
"Now some flowers they never bloom
And some flowers just bloom dead…"
Dais decided he wasn't going to run into Kale out here. He teleported back, only to find
Kayura waiting for him in his rooms. With a smile he took her in his arms and kissed
her, glad he had her at that moment.
"Now some flowers they never boom…"
Kale sat alone in his room, out of the sunlight that came though his window. He was
just staring at the wall in front of him, and thinking.
"And some flowers, they just bloom dead."