MacSephy: A Parody of Macbeth....
While working on the sequel to Sleeping Beauty, (which is taking me longer than I expected) I decide to give you readers something to tide you over till then. This story is my first Final Fantasy that is not totally a Cloud/Aeris romance, though there are hints of it in the story. Either way I hope you enjoy, oh yeah this story is not true and if anyone mistakes it for reality well I'm not going to say anything
I like to dedicate this story to Jennifer, Christi, Lena and all my great reviewers. Thanks for all your support I'm planning to put your names in my Sleeping Beauty sequel so when it comes out look for it, kay?
P.S: Anyway I make good ol Sephy WAY out of character and he does get bashed a bit, so apologies to any Sephy fans out there.
I like to say right now I am no fan of Tifa, but I don't go and insult her. However I'm in a chaotic mood and I've been reading some of Christi's Tifa bashing fics, so if you don't like it, tough.
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Scene 1: a very familiar room in Canada
Me: *typing on computer* now what can I make Aeris and Cloud do today? Maybe another flashback story? Maybe another romantic date scene? I know I'll just write another Aeris resurrections I LOVE, writing those...*sees an e-mail addressed to him* hey what's this?
"Dear Mallow64, this is Cloud Strife. Aeris and I are honoured that you write about us and we love your stories so many of them are so close to the truth on how we got together. However right now my family and I have decided to go on vacation and we will not be there to help with your stories but we'll be back. In the meantime why don't you write a story about our friends?
P.S: we will send you a post card".
From Cloud Strife
Me: gee this is an interesting twist of events, oh well I guess I can't write about Aeris and Cloud for now, what should I write about the other people? I know maybe a little TV will give me some ideas...
*I walk over to the tv and turn it on*
TV: You are watching the Shakespearean channel, all Shakespeare every day
Me: this bites, I think I'll change the channel....hhhmmm the remote seems to have ran out of batteries, don't you just hate it when that happens, aaawww that means I have to get up to change the channel, oh well I think I'll watch a little and if it gets really bad I'll actually get up
TV: Our first story is Macbeth we hope you enjoy our feature presentation
Me: hey Macbeth I read about that play in school, actually this isn't so bad...yawn *suddenly grows bored and falls asleep* zzzzzzzzzzzz
Scene 2: The Play begins
Me: huh? Where am I?
*Just than Scarlet and Elena dressed as witches come out*
Scarlet: so like we're here
Elena: yes we have come for the one named MacSephy
Me: MacSephy? Gee I must be in some parallel dimension where everyone seems to be a parody of a Macbeth character either that or I grew bored watching the Shakespearen channel and now I'm dreaming
*ignoring me*
Scarlet: hey Elena sister, where do you think our other sister is?
Elena: I don't know sister she was right behind me
Me: Oh yes of course there were three witches I wonder who could be the third witch?
Scarlet: sister are you in those like bushes?
???: YES!!!! AND I DON'T WANT TO COME OUT!!!!!
Elena: sister we have some lives we are going to ruin and we can't be the three sisters if your not with us
???: BUT I HATE WHAT YOU MAKE ME WEAR ALL THE TIME!!!!!
Scarlet: oh for pete's sakes *goes into the bushes and pushes out the third witch who is Tseng?*
ME: HA HA HA THE THIRD WITCH IS TSENG??!!! The role suits him soooooo well cause he's practically a girl
Tseng: I still think this dress makes me look fat, well now sisters, we must meet up with MacSephy, and stuff
*the three "sisters" walk off*
ME: it would appear that no one seems to be able to see me, more the fun for me let's go see who else is who else is who
*I walk off as well*
Scene 3: MacSephy's destiny as well as a few other things
*a battle is going on and MacSephy and his best friend Zack are successful warriors as they are kicking butt in the battle, we than go to the camp of the king of the entire land, Barrett*
Barrett: so how goes our battle fo?
Wedge: my name is Wedge and I really don't appreciate you calling me fo
Barrett: I'LL CALL YOU FO IF I DAMN WELL FEEL LIKE IT!!!!!! HOW GOES THE BATTLE WE'RE FIGHTIN'
Wedge: well okay King Barrett here's whats happening, well Biggs the Lord of Junon turns out to be a traitor and decided to overthrow you, well MacSephy that really brave guy came and killed him
Barrett: how so?
Wedge: well he stabbed him in the back...
Barrett: I like that boy's style, MacSephy?
Wedge: he's the Lord of Nibelhaim
Barrett: oh HIM!!!! Than we give that fo that jackass Biggs former title now MacSephy will be the lord of Nibelhaim and Junon
Me: I can say this is going to be a very BIG mistake
*the scene shifts to where MacSephy and Zack is*
Sephy: hello may I take your order?
Zack: what are you doing?
Sephy: aren't I supposed to be part of a really big fast food restaurant chain cause after all that's my name
Zack: THAT'S McDONALDS YOU IDIOT!!!!!!!!
Sephy: oh my bad, well anyway that was pretty cool how I stabbed that guy in the back
Zack: literally, yeah I know you told me that just a few million times
*just than the three sister come in*
Tseng: oh hail MacSephy
Scarlet: Lord of Nibelhaim and Junon,
Elena: as well king of the Planet
Sephy: Hey Zack, lookie old ladies
Scarlet: WHO YOUR CALLING OLD??!!!
Tseng: I'M NOT EVEN A GIRL!!! *starts crying*
Scarlet: *slaps him* SHUT UP!!!!
Tseung: *still crying* why are you so mean?
Zack: riiiiiiiight, uuummm Sephy, maybe we should go these people seem like freaks
Sephy: nonsense if you can't trust old ladies who can you trust?
*the three than make really evil cackling noises*
Sephy: see they're laughing their witty old lady laugh, so you said I am lord of Nibelhaim I'll admit this is true but I'm not lord of Junon, and I'm not king
Elena: you'll will be MacSephy you see the lord of Junon is dead and than you will murder King Barrett and...
Tseng: you talk too much Elena
Elena: oops my bad, just ignore everything I say
Sephy: it's already forgotten, aaahhh what are we talking about again?
Scarlet: YOUR GOING TO BE KING YOU IDIOT!!!!
Sephy: oh yeah, so like what's going to happen to my bestest best friend Zack?
Zack: for the last time I'm not your bestest best friend and bestest isn't even a word
Scarlet: you Zack be greater than MacSephy and yet not so much so, you'll Father a line of Kings after MacSephy bites the dust
Sephy: why would I want to eat dirt?
Elena: he means after you die, and because of that you turn on Zack and want to kill him
Scarlet: ELENA!!!!!
Elena: oops my bad, ignore that too
Sephy: already forgotten
Tseng: are you sure this idiots gonna be king of the Planet?
Sephy: Who your calling idiot? *takes out his Masamune and stabs Tseng in the back*
Tseng: AAAAAAHHHHHH THAT BASTARD STABBED ME!!!!! *runs away crying with the sword still in him followed by his other sisters*
Sephy: damn and that was my good sword too, oh well
*just than Cait Sith come in*
Cait: aahhh MacSephy just the person whom I want to see, king Barrett wanted me to present you with this title of lord of Junon so that means your lord of Junon AND Nibelhaim
Sephy: so what the witches said is true after that I might be king of McDonalds
Cait: riiiight, *whispers* weirdo *in his normal voice* the king has also invited himself to your castle for dinner
Sephy: he can do that?
Cait: I don't know don't kill the messenger *walks off*
Zack: *checking to see if Cait was gone* no no no NO Sephy!!! They said you will be king of the Planet
Sephy: oh but that technically still mean I get to rule McDonalds right?
Zack: sigh you do whatever you want
MacSephy: I have to tell my wife this...*takes out a pencil and paper* DEAR...uumm Zack how do you spell Tifa?
Zack: YOU CAN'T EVEN SPELL YOUR OWN WIFE'S NAME!!!!!
Me: hhhmmm Sephy's married to Tifa, I wonder whom I should pity more? Tifa for marrying him or Sephy cause he has to put with her?
Scene 4: a to die for murder
Me: well I'm now at the Sephy's I wonder what's gonna happen now?
*just than Tifa walks in trying to read Sephy's letter*
Tifa: "Dear Teefa", gee that jackass can't even spell my name right, blah blah blah met some old ladies, blah blah told me me I would become lord of Nibelhaim, Junon and then king, blah blah I became lord of Junon, blah King Barrett is coming tonight, blah blah love your loving husband Sephy....hhhmm Sephy can become king? What a VERY interesting prospect when Sephy become's king I'll be queen!!!! Queen Tifa, yes I like the sound of that. However if I let that nincompoop decide he probably won't do it, no I must do a little "convincing"
*Just than a few hours later Sephy comes*
me: gotta love the ability to speed up time
Sephy: hey Tifa!!!! So you read my letter?
Tifa: well despite it had terrible grammar, very illegible and you spelled my name wrong yes I did get your "letter" now we must kill the king so you can be king
Sephy: but I don't wanna
Tifa: your going to do it whether you like it or not
Sephy: BUT I DON'T WANNA!!!!
Tifa: look don't you want to be king?
Sephy: I DON'T WANNA!!!! No wait, I do but I don't want to kill the king
Tifa: you ARE SO hopeless, we'll talk later
*that night*
me: I REALLY love the ability to speed up time
Tifa: *looking at a mirror and right now not looking at Sephy* okay, so Sephy be prepared
Sephy: for what?
Tifa: for the death of the king
Sephy: what is he sick?
Tifa: no fool we're going to kill him and any heirs he has
Sephy: good idea who needs a king? NO KING NO KING LA LA LA LA LA
Tifa: IDIOT!!! They'll be a king
Sephy: but you just said
Tifa: I'll, I mean YOU'LL be king
Sephy: oh
Tifa: *turns from the mirror and is shocked at what she sees he is wearing nothing but moogle boxers* I TOLD YOU TO AT LEAST WEAR PANTS AND YOU DIDN'T EVEN DO THAT!!!!! *hears the doorbell* AND THEY'RE HERE!!!!!!! OKAY DON'T PANIC!!!! YOUR ONLY GOING TO GET HUMILIATED BY YOUR IDIOT HUSBAND!!!!!
Sephy: that's cold Tifa
Tifa: okay I'll distract Barrett and you at least put some pants on
*while Sephy go slip some pants on Tifa goes to the door*
Tifa: oh hi!!!!!
Barrett: Tif? Tif!!!!! *grabs her in a bearhug* oh it's so great to see you girl
Tifa: choking, need air
Barrett: well I invited myself to yo' castle and all hope it's not TOO much trouble
Tifa: *dripping with sarcasm* well actually it's no trouble considering that you come here totally uninvited, make yourself at home, eat my food, NOOOOOOO it's NO trouble at all
Barrett: good I was afraid yo' were mad, girl *walks inside*
Tifa: I'm surrounded by idiots.....
Me: including the one everytime she looks in the mirror
*Awhile later*
Barrett: hey yo Sephy, thank for helping me whip some of them fo's ass
Sephy: it was an honor to serve you
Barrett: well I want to introduce my heir that you've never met before Wino
Reno: THAT'S RENO!!!!!! Is this anyway to treat you son?
Barrett: same thing
Sephy: uuummmm you both look nothing alike
Reno: *whispering to Sephy* I'm adopted
Sephy: ooooohhhhh.....so with WINO in the way my path to be king has been complicated, yes VERY complicated indeed
*everyone stares at him*
Sephy: did I say that aloud? I mean I have to use the potty *leaves and meets up with Tifa*
Tifa: and finally I have finished my diabolical plan to take power
Sephy: what would that be, my love?
Tifa: don't call me that, well my plan is when night comes you take a daggar and stab Barrett, than we'll leave his body for anyone to discover
Sephy: that sounds like a good plan!!! Only you Tifa can come up with a plan like that
Me: I'm beginning to see how those two got married
*that night*
Sephy: I will now kill king Barett
*Zack and a little girl enters*
Zack: you say something?
Sephy: uummm I mean I said I'll sing like Ferret
Zack: riiiight, Sephy have you been drinking?
Sephy: a little, so how did you get in?
Zack: you invited me remember?
Sephy: oh yeah, who's the little girl
Iris: my name's Iris
Sephy: but you look nothing alike
Iris: I'm temporarilly being adopted you see my REAL father is Cloud who isn't in this story and my mom is Aeris who's also not in this story
Sephy: give that girl some medication Zack, she's really talking crazy
Iris: HEY!!! *kicks him in the shin*
Sephy: ow....
Zack: I think we should go now Iris
*the two leave*
Sephy: what was the point of that? WAIT the witches said something think back Sephy this could be important
*flashback*
Scarlet: WHO YOUR CALLING OLD??!!!
Tseng: I'M NOT EVEN A GIRL!!! *starts crying*
*end flashback*
Sephy: YES ZACK WILL FATHER A LINE OF KINGS!!!!!!! If that brat gets married to a prince she could be queen!!!! I'll deal with those two later now on to killing Barrett
me: How does he come to that conclusion by remembering that? Oh well
*Sephy than starts seeing things*
Hojo's ghost: Sephy, do you know the truth about your father?
Sephy: NO!!!! BEN SAID YOU KILLERD HIM!!!!
Hojo's ghost: he did? WHY I'LL KILL HIM!!!!!! *disappears*
Nanaki's father: Nanaki you must take your place in the circle of life
Sephy: wrong place, Nanaki lives a few blocks from here
Nanaki: my bad *disappears*
Me: wait a minute *takes out a very convenient script of play* he's supposed to see a floating daggar
Sephy: HEY A FLOATING MASAMUNE!!!!!
Me: close enough
Sephy: this Masamune is leading me to Barrett's room, does this mean I have to kill him? Does this mean I have to kill someone who has gain so much trust from me? The very person who thinks so highly of me? Of course I must think of the bad things that will happen if I don't, well Tifa will never speak to me again and I'll have to sleep on the couch, kill Barrett it is
*Sephy enters Barrett's room and than stabs him once with a daggar*
Barrett: OWWWWW YOU BASTARD!!!! YOU $%%!$#^^#$ STABBED ME!!!!!!
*Sephy stabs him again*
Barrett: I TRUSTED YOU!!!!! NOW YOU %$#%$@%$ STABBED ME AGAIN!!!!!
*Sephy stabs him again*
Barrett: I'M DYING AND YOU DON'T BLOODY CARE!!!!! YOU ARE SO $%@#%%%%$
Sephy: why don't you die?! The hell with this *stabs him with his Masamune*
Barrett:......
Sephy: finally
*than Sephy leaves with his Masamune still in Barrett*
Me: this play is all wrong, he could have taken way more than that
Scene 5: All hail King Sephy!!! King of everything crazy
*the next morning after the murder, there is a knock on the door*
Tifa: I'm coming, I'm coming *opens the door* yeah who is it?
Vincent: allow me to introduce myself, I am the lord of Wutai, Vincent Valentine
Yuffie: and I'm his wife
Tifa: YUFFIE??!!!! YOU MARRIED YUFFIE???!!!
Vincent: why not?
Tifa: YOU COULD HAVE MARRIED ME!!!! BUT YOU MARRIED HER??!!!
Yuffie: HEY ARE YOU HITTING ON MY MAN??!!!
Vincent: as much as I like to see a cat fight, I'm here to see the king
Tifa: go right ahead, he chose her over me I can't believe it and I got stuck with an idiot
Me: sucks to be her doesn't it?
*Vincent than enters Barrett's room and runs out screaming*
Vincent: MURDER!!!!! THE KING'S BEEN MURDERED!!!!!
*everyone than gathers at the scene of the crime*
Zack: it's obvious who did it I figured it out. It was done in Sephy's castle, The murderer was able to move around freely, all windows and doors were locked so no one could get in, Sephy's own sword is still stuck in him and after dusting for fingerprints Sephy's prints are on the sword. The murderer was none other than RENO!!!!!
Reno: ME???!!!!!
Zack: it makes sense, you stole Sephy's sword and a copy of his finger prints so you could murder Barrett and frame it on Sephy
Reno: THAT'S THE MOST STUPIDEST THING I HAVE EVER HEARD!!!!!
Zack: okay than explain where were you at the night of the murder?
Reno: I was eerrr, uummmm I was oh look at the time gotta fly *jumps out of the window and lands in the moat*
Vincent: he's slowly getting away
Sephy: let him go, he'll be back
Yuffie: riiiiiiight, okay so now the king's dead who's the king now?
*just than Cait Sith walks in*
Cait: well now since there's no heir, it has to go to the person with the most land, and that'll be Sephy so Sephy's the new king, WE'RE DOOMED!!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
Sephy: hey I'll be a good king
Cait: that's not what I'm afraid of
Me: I think I have an idea
*so Sephy was crowned King, but at the coronation Vincent had his suspicions*
Vincent: I suspect THAT one tastes more like Coke,
Yuffie: wrong suspicion
Vincent: oh sorry, king Barrett dead and now Sephy's king VERY interesting I've got to locate Wino and hear his side of the story
Yuffie: I'll come too
Vincent: no not you, you go home and stay there, I'll be back
Yuffie: aaaww why?
Vincent: look after Lucrecia died I never thought I'll love another person again but than you come along and change everything
Yuffie: that's so sweet Vincent
Vincent: why I'll never forget the first day we met, we....
*flashback and than the flashback ends when Yuffie says*
Yuffie: YOU DON'T HAVE TIME FOR FLASHBACKS!!
Vincent: oh okay, so I'll go now
*meanwhile Sephy is now king and is as most people go getting drunk with power*
Sephy: *Sephy's drinking* MAN THAT WAS GOOD!!!!! Who would ever think that they make POWER a soft drink?
Me: those faceless corporations
Zack: so your king now huh? Well that's nice I guess I'll go home with Iris now,
Sephy: have a safe journey
Zack: thank you
Sephy: *in a quiet voice* oh yeah it'll be real safe *in a really loud voice* AS SAFE AS BEING STABBED IN THE BACK!!!!! Wait I said the loud part quiet and the quiet part loud
Zack: riiiiiight, I'm going home now, *Zack leaves*
Sephy: oh Zack don't think I forgot the next part of that prophecy, therefore you must die. Come here my faceless murderers, I have a job for you
*scene shifts and Iris steps out to a mike*
Iris: the next following scene contains too much violence to be shown to the public, all I'm going to say is that Zack dies a terrible and very bloody death but I managed to escape and for the rest of the story I'm gonna be spending time with my REAL mommy and daddy so to everyone else enjoy the rest of the story!!!!!
Me: they have to appeal to the kids too don't you know
*Sephy after having sending murderers on Zack felt like celebrating so he threw a party and invited a lot of people*
Sephy: I am the king so let's enjoy the party I am throwing
Everyone: *in a very unenthusiastic voice* yay
*However guilt is a very big thing and Sephy begins hallucinating Zack's ghost*
Zack's ghost: Sephy......you KILLED ME!!!!!!!
Sephy: oh hi Zack why don't you sit down and have a drink?
Tifa: Who are you talking to, you dolt?
Zack's ghost: hey why not I've got time *sits down and drinks, the liquid runs through the stab wounds that he has however, but surprisingly no one seems to notice*
Sephy: so Zack, how's death?
Tifa: he's gone crazy
Cait: yeah like I've seen him act weird but this is the weirdest
Zack's ghost: well it's a bitch, I was hoping that by dying I get to see Aeris but that son of a bitch Cloud came to the lifestream and had some "special" revive materia and wanted to resurrected her. When I told Aeris that she had to choose between me or him, she kicked me in the nuts and said that she never liked me, told me to quit stalking her and went off with Cloud
Sephy: man that really sucks, Tifa's like that too, she only married me cause she wanted to make Cloud jealous but that didn't work so she was stuck with me she always says
*everyone gasps*
Tifa: THAT'S A LIE!!!!! I LOVE MY HUSBAND!!!!!
Sephy and Zack: women, can't live with them can't live without them
Sephy: so Zack what are you doing here?
Zack's ghost: I've came to tell you that you will be visited by three ghosts at midnight, no wait that's that old fat man in Texas, I've came to tell you that throwing your life away is a bad idea because you have so much to live for, no wait that's the old woman wanting to commit suicide, wait I remember I want to haunt you cause YOU KILLED ME!!!!!!!!
Sephy: no I didn't my henchmen did
Zack's Ghost: you know what I mean
Sephy: actually I don't
Zack's ghost: ARGH!!!! YOUR NOT WORTH MY TIME OR EFFORT!!!!!! ALL I'M GOIN TO SAY IS YOU SUCK FOR KILLING ME!!!!! *disappears*
Sephy: my bestest best friend says I suck? That was so mean
Tifa: uumm I think everyone should go home
Everybody: good idea *everyone leaves*
Tifa: WHAT THE HELL WAS GOING ON??!!!!
Sephy: well Tifa, my bestest best friend said I sucked
Tifa: okay, Sephy do you need to take medication again?
Sephy: oh can I take those chewy Flinstone ones? I mean I'm going to go visit the three kind ladies maybe they'll tell me something
Me: man this guy's a real bad judge of character and I thought the king was
Scene 6: I wouldn't mess with the man named Valentine if I were you
*In the forest where Sephy met the weird sisters*
Scarlet: what can we do to screw with MacSephy now?
Elena: maybe we can roll him up in a carpet and throw him off a bridge, hee hee
Tseng: ooooooookay, Elena? Your weird I've got a better idea let's make him kill his own best friend
Scarlet: he already did that remember?
Tseng: oh yeah well can I take this dress off now?
Scarlet: no
Tseng: aaaaawwwwwwww
*just than Sephy enters*
Sephy: hi kind old ladies, I need your help
Scarlet: and we know how to
Sephy: well can you tell me my future?
Scarlet: okay Tseng tell him
Tseng: well first beware the man named after the holiday
Sephy: Christmas?
Scarlet: no
Sephy: St. Patrick's day?
Elena: no
Sephy: Halloween?
Tseng: no
Sephy: Guy Fox Day?
Scarlet: NO YOU ASSHOLE!!!!!! WE'RE TALKING ABOUT VINCENT!!!! VINCENT VALENTINE!!!!!!
Sephy: oh him, okay what else?
Elena: no full human shall be able to harm MacSephy
Sephy: hey cool, since everyone is full human that means I'M INVINCIBLE!!!!!! Unless......the saiyans invade earth
Scarlet: *sighs and slaps forehead* you will only fall when the Sleeping Forest walks to your castle
Sephy: okay I guess I'm covered, thanks for all your help oh it must be pretty dark in this forest so I got you ladies some candles *gives them some lit dynamite* now I must go off Valentine *leaves*
Tseng: we're screwed
Scarlet: I told you we should have played with someone else's life but nnnnnnnooooooo we had to play with MacSephy's
Elena: you know instead of standing around we can run-
*The dynamite goes off and sets the entire forest into an inferno*
Sephy: I think they're liking their gift already now to plan Valentine's demise I think I'll have some men pay a visit on his door
*Meanwhile at the Valentine household*
Yuffie: sigh I miss my Vinny, when will he be back? Oh well I can guarantee there's gonna be a little action for him when he does get back
Me: I'm not going to say anything
Yuffie: now to see if I have the things I need when he returns, hhhmmmmm rope? Got it, handcuffs? Check, whips? Yep can't forget those
Me: I am REALLY not going to ask
*just than a very familiar bald man enters*
Yuffie: huh? Who are you and what are you doing in my house?
Rude: HE MARRIED YOU??!!! I mean, where is the lord of the house?
Yuffie: he is away on business, namely to prove MacSephy is really evil and clear Prince Reno's name
Rude: DAMN!!!! Why couldn't he be here? Oh well I guess I have to kill you
Yuffie: yeah go ahead and try it baldy
*Yuffie proceeds to kick Rude's ass*
Yuffie: TAKE THIS *kicks him in the head*
Rude: ow
Yuffie: and this *punches Rude in the jaw*
Rude: owwie
Yuffie: THIS WILL TEACH YOU TO MESS WITH A DEFENCELESS GIRL!!!! *Kicks Rude in the groin*
Rude: ooooooooooo
Me: ow that's gotta sting
Rude: why does she have to know self-defense? Okay I beat her like this so I have to attack her psychologically
Yuffie: there is absolutely nothing you can say to me that will work
Rude: uuuuummmmm you see I also came to tell you your husband Mr. Valentine doesn't love you anymore
Yuffie: what? My Vincent doesn't love me? *Starts getting all sad* my life isn't worth living anymore *takes a dagger and stabs herself*
Me: I take it she doesn't know the meaning of "moving on"
Rude: *blinks* okay, I guess my job's done *leaves*
Scene 7: All evil people are always screwed in the end
Vincent: I have been travelling for some time now, but I have finally found where Reno is, hiding under King Cid the king of another land I hope he can help
*Vincent enters Cid's castle and meets Reno*
Vincent: Prince Reno I have been looking for you
Reno: LOOK I DIDN'T SLEEP WITH YOUR DAUGHTER!!!!!! Oh uuumm oh it's you sorry I thought you were Mr. Lockhart
Vincent: *blinks* okay Prince Reno I need your help, the land that you should have been King of is being ruled be MacSephy and he doing a REALLY bad job at it
Reno: are you sure that you want me to be king? Like all I'll do is be half pissed drunk on my ass all the time and won't help the people when they need help
Vincent: really?
Reno: yeah and I'll sleep with any hot girl that wants to get it on, in fact I think your wife's pretty hot
Vincent: LEAVE MY WIFE OUT OF THIS!!!! I mean I'm really sorry to hear that
Reno: yeah and I'll start wars for the stupidest reasons, like if you call me Wino I'll start a war
Vincent: oh I get it this is a test to see if I'm loyal to you and want a better king than MacSephy, your not really going to do those things
Reno: actually I was planning to those things
Vincent: you can stop joking now
Reno: (oh well he just doesn't get it) okay, but anyway I will help you see while you've been ruled be Sephy I've been hiding under King Cid and been raising an army
Cid: yep and we're all gonna kick MacSephy's ^%@%^@$^@& ass do ya wanna help?
Vincent: I don't know
*Cait Sith than runs in*
Cait: is there a Mr. Valentine here?
Vincent: that's me
Cait: well Sephy sent an assassin and he murdered everyone in your household, servants, pets, your wife everything
Vincent: WHAT?!! THAT'S IT HOW DARE HE GO AND MURDER MY YUFFIE!!!! THIS IS PERSONAL!!!! YES COUNT ME IN!!!!!
Cid: that's good say, why did you marry her?
Vincent: well I guess it all has to do with the first day we met, well we.....
Reno: sorry Vince we've got no time for a flashback
Vincent: we don't? DAMN!!!!!
Cid: so like here's the plan there's a forest surrounding Sephy's castle we're gonna camaflouge our troops and walk toward the castle
*Meanwhile at MacSephy's castle*
Doctor: and your confident that the Lady of the house is walking in her sleep?
Maid: yes I see her do it every night
Doctor: well let's see if what your saying is true
*Sure enough Tifa does sleepwalk and she sits down and appears to be writing a letter*
Tifa: Dear Cloud how are you? I'm not doing good I got married to a moron who can't even think for himself, why did you choose that Ancient over me, huh? I want you so bad please leave her so you can be with me
Doctor: hhhhhmmm it would appear that she sleepwalks as a way to deal with her emotional stress
Tifa: I'll even tell you a secret, MacSephy was really the one who murdered the king, his friend Zack and the Valentine household
Maid: GASP!!!! Did what I hear is true?
Doctor: quiet it's not good to wake up sleepwalkers
Tifa: love Tifa, now I must mail this letter to my love Cloud *walks over to a mail box and posts it*
Doctor: amazing
Maid: that she in her sleep confessed all the crimes that she and her husband committed?
Doctor: no, that she was able to all that in her sleep
*At the post office*
postman: *recieves Tifa's letter* another one? Sigh doesn't Mrs. Lockhart Sephroith know that Cloud has closed any letters from her? Don't blame him either she seems to send hundreds
Me: tell me why I'm not surprised?
*Meanwhile at MacSephy's castle a few days later*
Sephy: la dee da, it feels so good to be king so what's the news today?
Servant: the people hate you, some wish you were dead, dinner will be a little late, your wife's committed suicide, there's a forest walking towards your castle and that's it
Sephy: oh okay, WAIT!!!! DID YOU SAY DINNER'S GOING TO BE LATE??!!!
Servant: yeah
Sephy: damn I did not want to hear that
Servant: shouldn't you deal with the fact your wife's dead or that walking forest?
Sephy: do I have to? That would mean I have to get up
*Due to Sephy's poor leadership the castle than gets under attacked by Vincent and Cid's troops*
Vincent: SEPHY!!!! YOU KILLED MY WIFE SO I'M GONNA AVENGE HER BY KILLING YOU!!!!!
Sephy: look as much I want to fight you can't beat me cause I received a prophecy saying that I can't be killed by any full humans
Vincent: oh really? Gee that sucks I'm as human as they come well except for the fact that due to your jackass father's experiments I turn into monsters when I get mad enough
Sephy: come on your making that up
Vincent: no but I guess I can't beat you
Sephy: DAMN right, so now I can say stuff like this: you wife's a slut
Vincent: stop making fun of her, she's dead isn't that bad enough?
Sephy: yeah a few of my buddies came and told me that she was really good
Vincent: gggggggrrrrrrrrrr
Sephy: in fact your wife is SSSSSSOOOOO slutty she makes mine seem like a virgin
Vincent: RRRRRRROOOAAAAAARRRRRRRRRR *Vincent transforms into Chaos*
Sephy: oh shit
Vincent: *grabs Sephy and bites his head off and than reverts* burp excuse me
*Reno and Cid than run in*
Cid: show yourself Sephy and take your ass kicking like a man
Vincent: I already killed him
Cid: well thanks a lot Vincent I take the time to make a heroic charge and you have to ruin it by killing the villain already
Reno: *looks at Sephy's decapitated body* ouch don't wanna be him
Vincent: so did you find anyone else?
Cid: well we found Tifa's body apparently she committed suicide cause she just found out Cloud rejected all her love letters
Vincent: that's nice well I must be off
Reno: why? Cause I was planning to throw a booze party
Vincent: well I have sinned because I wasn't a good husband so I'm going on a quest to resurrect Yuffie or Lucrecia or maybe both *leaves*
Reno: didn't know Vince had it in him oh well
Cid: so what do you want to do now?
Reno: let's get something to eat
Cid: sounds good
Reno: on you and I order you to pay cause I'm king
Cid: Damn *takes out a cigarette*
Reno: and so the glorious rule of Reno begins heh heh
*Just than I wake up*
T.V: and I hope you enjoy our feature presentation of Macbeth
Me: Hey what a dream, but you know what? I think I found my inspiration, I've gotta write this on the computer *rushes on the computer and does so*
*Meanwhile on a family cruise line*
Cloud: and that is how the inspiring author Mallow64 wrote an entire Macbeth parody with our friends
Iris: that's nice, BUT YOU WERE TRYING TO TELL ME WHY THERE'S NO BABY PICTURES OF ME!!!!!
Aeris: oh there baby pictures of you honey
Cloud: I just keep them where I need them the most
*the scene shifts to Cloud's work office and there are multiple baby pictures of Iris and a small sign in bold letters that say "DO IT FOR HER"*
Iris: so what's next for us daddy?
Cloud: well I think Mallow is going to write a sequel to his Sleeping Beauty story
Aeris: yeah I was also curious to what happened
Cloud: well we've just got to wait and see
THE END
And so ends my pretty chaotic and slightly confusing story, I hope you enjoy I was in the middle of writing Sleeping Beauty's sequel but while writing it I decided to try something new, for anyone who's interested here's the cast list of who played who in this Macbeth parody
Sephroith as Macbeth- the head role Macbeth was once a good man and was the one who was going to get his life toyed by three witches by knowing his own future he grew power hungry and began killing off people he paid for his crimes however
Tifa as Lady Macbeth- Lady Macbeth was well Macbeth's wife, she played a big role in convincing Macbeth to kill the king she later did started sleep-walking and killed herself presumably because of guilt. She was a power hungry woman and this was rather odd to see, for women in Shakespeare time was considered inferior to men but Lady Macbeth seemed like a partner to Macbeth
Tseng, Elena and Scarlet as the three witches- three witches who decided to play a game by toying with someone's life by letting him know of his future, they didn't actually die in Macbeth I kinda killed them off here cause I hate Scarlet, Tseng and Elena
Zack as Banquo- Macbeth's best friend and the only other person to see the witches but because he was in Macbeth's way he did get killed
Iris as Fleance Banquo's son- Iris was a girl in here but in the play Fleance was a boy, oh well who really cares? It was prophesied that he will later be king in Macbeth and he was actually the intended target but he escaped, in the version I read I never hear of him again but I hear in other versions that he does end up being king
Barrett as King Duncan- the king was a bad judge of character, got killed do I really need to say more?
Cait Sith as Ross- Ross didn't play a big role he was like the yes man and the messenger but hey that's my opinion
Vincent as Macduff- Macduff was the one who killed Macbeth, the original prophecy went really like this "you shall not be harmed by anyone women born" so that made Macbeth over-confident because everyone has to born from women right? Well Macduff was not you see he was prematurely ripped from his mother's womb before he was born so that apparently did count as being woman born, if anyone know's how that works I like to know
Yuffie as Lady Macduff- she played a very small role and did get killed, but I suppose it was because of this it motivated Macduff to want to kill Macbeth so badly right?
Reno as Malcolm- Malcolm was the son of Duncan and was really supposed to be next in line if not for Macbeth's political scandal well he end up being king so he got what he deserved
Rude as a murderer- killed people that's all but he had a way easier time that dealing with Yuffie, eh?
Cid as King Siward- the king of another land so he decided to help didn't play a big role but it was because of his army they were able to defeat Macbeth
So that's all for now, anyway as for the sequel to Sleeping Beauty I have chosen names from my kind reviewers to be added to the story and they so far are:
Jennifer Gainsborough, Christi, Liete, Lena and Takaru. I chose your names because you gave my great reviews in Sleeping Beauty and motivated me to keep writing oh and if anyone else would like to have a name mention in my next story tell me and I'll see if I can put it in well see ya and peace :)
While working on the sequel to Sleeping Beauty, (which is taking me longer than I expected) I decide to give you readers something to tide you over till then. This story is my first Final Fantasy that is not totally a Cloud/Aeris romance, though there are hints of it in the story. Either way I hope you enjoy, oh yeah this story is not true and if anyone mistakes it for reality well I'm not going to say anything
I like to dedicate this story to Jennifer, Christi, Lena and all my great reviewers. Thanks for all your support I'm planning to put your names in my Sleeping Beauty sequel so when it comes out look for it, kay?
P.S: Anyway I make good ol Sephy WAY out of character and he does get bashed a bit, so apologies to any Sephy fans out there.
I like to say right now I am no fan of Tifa, but I don't go and insult her. However I'm in a chaotic mood and I've been reading some of Christi's Tifa bashing fics, so if you don't like it, tough.
________________________________________________________________________________
Scene 1: a very familiar room in Canada
Me: *typing on computer* now what can I make Aeris and Cloud do today? Maybe another flashback story? Maybe another romantic date scene? I know I'll just write another Aeris resurrections I LOVE, writing those...*sees an e-mail addressed to him* hey what's this?
"Dear Mallow64, this is Cloud Strife. Aeris and I are honoured that you write about us and we love your stories so many of them are so close to the truth on how we got together. However right now my family and I have decided to go on vacation and we will not be there to help with your stories but we'll be back. In the meantime why don't you write a story about our friends?
P.S: we will send you a post card".
From Cloud Strife
Me: gee this is an interesting twist of events, oh well I guess I can't write about Aeris and Cloud for now, what should I write about the other people? I know maybe a little TV will give me some ideas...
*I walk over to the tv and turn it on*
TV: You are watching the Shakespearean channel, all Shakespeare every day
Me: this bites, I think I'll change the channel....hhhmmm the remote seems to have ran out of batteries, don't you just hate it when that happens, aaawww that means I have to get up to change the channel, oh well I think I'll watch a little and if it gets really bad I'll actually get up
TV: Our first story is Macbeth we hope you enjoy our feature presentation
Me: hey Macbeth I read about that play in school, actually this isn't so bad...yawn *suddenly grows bored and falls asleep* zzzzzzzzzzzz
Scene 2: The Play begins
Me: huh? Where am I?
*Just than Scarlet and Elena dressed as witches come out*
Scarlet: so like we're here
Elena: yes we have come for the one named MacSephy
Me: MacSephy? Gee I must be in some parallel dimension where everyone seems to be a parody of a Macbeth character either that or I grew bored watching the Shakespearen channel and now I'm dreaming
*ignoring me*
Scarlet: hey Elena sister, where do you think our other sister is?
Elena: I don't know sister she was right behind me
Me: Oh yes of course there were three witches I wonder who could be the third witch?
Scarlet: sister are you in those like bushes?
???: YES!!!! AND I DON'T WANT TO COME OUT!!!!!
Elena: sister we have some lives we are going to ruin and we can't be the three sisters if your not with us
???: BUT I HATE WHAT YOU MAKE ME WEAR ALL THE TIME!!!!!
Scarlet: oh for pete's sakes *goes into the bushes and pushes out the third witch who is Tseng?*
ME: HA HA HA THE THIRD WITCH IS TSENG??!!! The role suits him soooooo well cause he's practically a girl
Tseng: I still think this dress makes me look fat, well now sisters, we must meet up with MacSephy, and stuff
*the three "sisters" walk off*
ME: it would appear that no one seems to be able to see me, more the fun for me let's go see who else is who else is who
*I walk off as well*
Scene 3: MacSephy's destiny as well as a few other things
*a battle is going on and MacSephy and his best friend Zack are successful warriors as they are kicking butt in the battle, we than go to the camp of the king of the entire land, Barrett*
Barrett: so how goes our battle fo?
Wedge: my name is Wedge and I really don't appreciate you calling me fo
Barrett: I'LL CALL YOU FO IF I DAMN WELL FEEL LIKE IT!!!!!! HOW GOES THE BATTLE WE'RE FIGHTIN'
Wedge: well okay King Barrett here's whats happening, well Biggs the Lord of Junon turns out to be a traitor and decided to overthrow you, well MacSephy that really brave guy came and killed him
Barrett: how so?
Wedge: well he stabbed him in the back...
Barrett: I like that boy's style, MacSephy?
Wedge: he's the Lord of Nibelhaim
Barrett: oh HIM!!!! Than we give that fo that jackass Biggs former title now MacSephy will be the lord of Nibelhaim and Junon
Me: I can say this is going to be a very BIG mistake
*the scene shifts to where MacSephy and Zack is*
Sephy: hello may I take your order?
Zack: what are you doing?
Sephy: aren't I supposed to be part of a really big fast food restaurant chain cause after all that's my name
Zack: THAT'S McDONALDS YOU IDIOT!!!!!!!!
Sephy: oh my bad, well anyway that was pretty cool how I stabbed that guy in the back
Zack: literally, yeah I know you told me that just a few million times
*just than the three sister come in*
Tseng: oh hail MacSephy
Scarlet: Lord of Nibelhaim and Junon,
Elena: as well king of the Planet
Sephy: Hey Zack, lookie old ladies
Scarlet: WHO YOUR CALLING OLD??!!!
Tseng: I'M NOT EVEN A GIRL!!! *starts crying*
Scarlet: *slaps him* SHUT UP!!!!
Tseung: *still crying* why are you so mean?
Zack: riiiiiiiight, uuummm Sephy, maybe we should go these people seem like freaks
Sephy: nonsense if you can't trust old ladies who can you trust?
*the three than make really evil cackling noises*
Sephy: see they're laughing their witty old lady laugh, so you said I am lord of Nibelhaim I'll admit this is true but I'm not lord of Junon, and I'm not king
Elena: you'll will be MacSephy you see the lord of Junon is dead and than you will murder King Barrett and...
Tseng: you talk too much Elena
Elena: oops my bad, just ignore everything I say
Sephy: it's already forgotten, aaahhh what are we talking about again?
Scarlet: YOUR GOING TO BE KING YOU IDIOT!!!!
Sephy: oh yeah, so like what's going to happen to my bestest best friend Zack?
Zack: for the last time I'm not your bestest best friend and bestest isn't even a word
Scarlet: you Zack be greater than MacSephy and yet not so much so, you'll Father a line of Kings after MacSephy bites the dust
Sephy: why would I want to eat dirt?
Elena: he means after you die, and because of that you turn on Zack and want to kill him
Scarlet: ELENA!!!!!
Elena: oops my bad, ignore that too
Sephy: already forgotten
Tseng: are you sure this idiots gonna be king of the Planet?
Sephy: Who your calling idiot? *takes out his Masamune and stabs Tseng in the back*
Tseng: AAAAAAHHHHHH THAT BASTARD STABBED ME!!!!! *runs away crying with the sword still in him followed by his other sisters*
Sephy: damn and that was my good sword too, oh well
*just than Cait Sith come in*
Cait: aahhh MacSephy just the person whom I want to see, king Barrett wanted me to present you with this title of lord of Junon so that means your lord of Junon AND Nibelhaim
Sephy: so what the witches said is true after that I might be king of McDonalds
Cait: riiiight, *whispers* weirdo *in his normal voice* the king has also invited himself to your castle for dinner
Sephy: he can do that?
Cait: I don't know don't kill the messenger *walks off*
Zack: *checking to see if Cait was gone* no no no NO Sephy!!! They said you will be king of the Planet
Sephy: oh but that technically still mean I get to rule McDonalds right?
Zack: sigh you do whatever you want
MacSephy: I have to tell my wife this...*takes out a pencil and paper* DEAR...uumm Zack how do you spell Tifa?
Zack: YOU CAN'T EVEN SPELL YOUR OWN WIFE'S NAME!!!!!
Me: hhhmmm Sephy's married to Tifa, I wonder whom I should pity more? Tifa for marrying him or Sephy cause he has to put with her?
Scene 4: a to die for murder
Me: well I'm now at the Sephy's I wonder what's gonna happen now?
*just than Tifa walks in trying to read Sephy's letter*
Tifa: "Dear Teefa", gee that jackass can't even spell my name right, blah blah blah met some old ladies, blah blah told me me I would become lord of Nibelhaim, Junon and then king, blah blah I became lord of Junon, blah King Barrett is coming tonight, blah blah love your loving husband Sephy....hhhmm Sephy can become king? What a VERY interesting prospect when Sephy become's king I'll be queen!!!! Queen Tifa, yes I like the sound of that. However if I let that nincompoop decide he probably won't do it, no I must do a little "convincing"
*Just than a few hours later Sephy comes*
me: gotta love the ability to speed up time
Sephy: hey Tifa!!!! So you read my letter?
Tifa: well despite it had terrible grammar, very illegible and you spelled my name wrong yes I did get your "letter" now we must kill the king so you can be king
Sephy: but I don't wanna
Tifa: your going to do it whether you like it or not
Sephy: BUT I DON'T WANNA!!!!
Tifa: look don't you want to be king?
Sephy: I DON'T WANNA!!!! No wait, I do but I don't want to kill the king
Tifa: you ARE SO hopeless, we'll talk later
*that night*
me: I REALLY love the ability to speed up time
Tifa: *looking at a mirror and right now not looking at Sephy* okay, so Sephy be prepared
Sephy: for what?
Tifa: for the death of the king
Sephy: what is he sick?
Tifa: no fool we're going to kill him and any heirs he has
Sephy: good idea who needs a king? NO KING NO KING LA LA LA LA LA
Tifa: IDIOT!!! They'll be a king
Sephy: but you just said
Tifa: I'll, I mean YOU'LL be king
Sephy: oh
Tifa: *turns from the mirror and is shocked at what she sees he is wearing nothing but moogle boxers* I TOLD YOU TO AT LEAST WEAR PANTS AND YOU DIDN'T EVEN DO THAT!!!!! *hears the doorbell* AND THEY'RE HERE!!!!!!! OKAY DON'T PANIC!!!! YOUR ONLY GOING TO GET HUMILIATED BY YOUR IDIOT HUSBAND!!!!!
Sephy: that's cold Tifa
Tifa: okay I'll distract Barrett and you at least put some pants on
*while Sephy go slip some pants on Tifa goes to the door*
Tifa: oh hi!!!!!
Barrett: Tif? Tif!!!!! *grabs her in a bearhug* oh it's so great to see you girl
Tifa: choking, need air
Barrett: well I invited myself to yo' castle and all hope it's not TOO much trouble
Tifa: *dripping with sarcasm* well actually it's no trouble considering that you come here totally uninvited, make yourself at home, eat my food, NOOOOOOO it's NO trouble at all
Barrett: good I was afraid yo' were mad, girl *walks inside*
Tifa: I'm surrounded by idiots.....
Me: including the one everytime she looks in the mirror
*Awhile later*
Barrett: hey yo Sephy, thank for helping me whip some of them fo's ass
Sephy: it was an honor to serve you
Barrett: well I want to introduce my heir that you've never met before Wino
Reno: THAT'S RENO!!!!!! Is this anyway to treat you son?
Barrett: same thing
Sephy: uuummmm you both look nothing alike
Reno: *whispering to Sephy* I'm adopted
Sephy: ooooohhhhh.....so with WINO in the way my path to be king has been complicated, yes VERY complicated indeed
*everyone stares at him*
Sephy: did I say that aloud? I mean I have to use the potty *leaves and meets up with Tifa*
Tifa: and finally I have finished my diabolical plan to take power
Sephy: what would that be, my love?
Tifa: don't call me that, well my plan is when night comes you take a daggar and stab Barrett, than we'll leave his body for anyone to discover
Sephy: that sounds like a good plan!!! Only you Tifa can come up with a plan like that
Me: I'm beginning to see how those two got married
*that night*
Sephy: I will now kill king Barett
*Zack and a little girl enters*
Zack: you say something?
Sephy: uummm I mean I said I'll sing like Ferret
Zack: riiiight, Sephy have you been drinking?
Sephy: a little, so how did you get in?
Zack: you invited me remember?
Sephy: oh yeah, who's the little girl
Iris: my name's Iris
Sephy: but you look nothing alike
Iris: I'm temporarilly being adopted you see my REAL father is Cloud who isn't in this story and my mom is Aeris who's also not in this story
Sephy: give that girl some medication Zack, she's really talking crazy
Iris: HEY!!! *kicks him in the shin*
Sephy: ow....
Zack: I think we should go now Iris
*the two leave*
Sephy: what was the point of that? WAIT the witches said something think back Sephy this could be important
*flashback*
Scarlet: WHO YOUR CALLING OLD??!!!
Tseng: I'M NOT EVEN A GIRL!!! *starts crying*
*end flashback*
Sephy: YES ZACK WILL FATHER A LINE OF KINGS!!!!!!! If that brat gets married to a prince she could be queen!!!! I'll deal with those two later now on to killing Barrett
me: How does he come to that conclusion by remembering that? Oh well
*Sephy than starts seeing things*
Hojo's ghost: Sephy, do you know the truth about your father?
Sephy: NO!!!! BEN SAID YOU KILLERD HIM!!!!
Hojo's ghost: he did? WHY I'LL KILL HIM!!!!!! *disappears*
Nanaki's father: Nanaki you must take your place in the circle of life
Sephy: wrong place, Nanaki lives a few blocks from here
Nanaki: my bad *disappears*
Me: wait a minute *takes out a very convenient script of play* he's supposed to see a floating daggar
Sephy: HEY A FLOATING MASAMUNE!!!!!
Me: close enough
Sephy: this Masamune is leading me to Barrett's room, does this mean I have to kill him? Does this mean I have to kill someone who has gain so much trust from me? The very person who thinks so highly of me? Of course I must think of the bad things that will happen if I don't, well Tifa will never speak to me again and I'll have to sleep on the couch, kill Barrett it is
*Sephy enters Barrett's room and than stabs him once with a daggar*
Barrett: OWWWWW YOU BASTARD!!!! YOU $%%!$#^^#$ STABBED ME!!!!!!
*Sephy stabs him again*
Barrett: I TRUSTED YOU!!!!! NOW YOU %$#%$@%$ STABBED ME AGAIN!!!!!
*Sephy stabs him again*
Barrett: I'M DYING AND YOU DON'T BLOODY CARE!!!!! YOU ARE SO $%@#%%%%$
Sephy: why don't you die?! The hell with this *stabs him with his Masamune*
Barrett:......
Sephy: finally
*than Sephy leaves with his Masamune still in Barrett*
Me: this play is all wrong, he could have taken way more than that
Scene 5: All hail King Sephy!!! King of everything crazy
*the next morning after the murder, there is a knock on the door*
Tifa: I'm coming, I'm coming *opens the door* yeah who is it?
Vincent: allow me to introduce myself, I am the lord of Wutai, Vincent Valentine
Yuffie: and I'm his wife
Tifa: YUFFIE??!!!! YOU MARRIED YUFFIE???!!!
Vincent: why not?
Tifa: YOU COULD HAVE MARRIED ME!!!! BUT YOU MARRIED HER??!!!
Yuffie: HEY ARE YOU HITTING ON MY MAN??!!!
Vincent: as much as I like to see a cat fight, I'm here to see the king
Tifa: go right ahead, he chose her over me I can't believe it and I got stuck with an idiot
Me: sucks to be her doesn't it?
*Vincent than enters Barrett's room and runs out screaming*
Vincent: MURDER!!!!! THE KING'S BEEN MURDERED!!!!!
*everyone than gathers at the scene of the crime*
Zack: it's obvious who did it I figured it out. It was done in Sephy's castle, The murderer was able to move around freely, all windows and doors were locked so no one could get in, Sephy's own sword is still stuck in him and after dusting for fingerprints Sephy's prints are on the sword. The murderer was none other than RENO!!!!!
Reno: ME???!!!!!
Zack: it makes sense, you stole Sephy's sword and a copy of his finger prints so you could murder Barrett and frame it on Sephy
Reno: THAT'S THE MOST STUPIDEST THING I HAVE EVER HEARD!!!!!
Zack: okay than explain where were you at the night of the murder?
Reno: I was eerrr, uummmm I was oh look at the time gotta fly *jumps out of the window and lands in the moat*
Vincent: he's slowly getting away
Sephy: let him go, he'll be back
Yuffie: riiiiiiight, okay so now the king's dead who's the king now?
*just than Cait Sith walks in*
Cait: well now since there's no heir, it has to go to the person with the most land, and that'll be Sephy so Sephy's the new king, WE'RE DOOMED!!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
Sephy: hey I'll be a good king
Cait: that's not what I'm afraid of
Me: I think I have an idea
*so Sephy was crowned King, but at the coronation Vincent had his suspicions*
Vincent: I suspect THAT one tastes more like Coke,
Yuffie: wrong suspicion
Vincent: oh sorry, king Barrett dead and now Sephy's king VERY interesting I've got to locate Wino and hear his side of the story
Yuffie: I'll come too
Vincent: no not you, you go home and stay there, I'll be back
Yuffie: aaaww why?
Vincent: look after Lucrecia died I never thought I'll love another person again but than you come along and change everything
Yuffie: that's so sweet Vincent
Vincent: why I'll never forget the first day we met, we....
*flashback and than the flashback ends when Yuffie says*
Yuffie: YOU DON'T HAVE TIME FOR FLASHBACKS!!
Vincent: oh okay, so I'll go now
*meanwhile Sephy is now king and is as most people go getting drunk with power*
Sephy: *Sephy's drinking* MAN THAT WAS GOOD!!!!! Who would ever think that they make POWER a soft drink?
Me: those faceless corporations
Zack: so your king now huh? Well that's nice I guess I'll go home with Iris now,
Sephy: have a safe journey
Zack: thank you
Sephy: *in a quiet voice* oh yeah it'll be real safe *in a really loud voice* AS SAFE AS BEING STABBED IN THE BACK!!!!! Wait I said the loud part quiet and the quiet part loud
Zack: riiiiiight, I'm going home now, *Zack leaves*
Sephy: oh Zack don't think I forgot the next part of that prophecy, therefore you must die. Come here my faceless murderers, I have a job for you
*scene shifts and Iris steps out to a mike*
Iris: the next following scene contains too much violence to be shown to the public, all I'm going to say is that Zack dies a terrible and very bloody death but I managed to escape and for the rest of the story I'm gonna be spending time with my REAL mommy and daddy so to everyone else enjoy the rest of the story!!!!!
Me: they have to appeal to the kids too don't you know
*Sephy after having sending murderers on Zack felt like celebrating so he threw a party and invited a lot of people*
Sephy: I am the king so let's enjoy the party I am throwing
Everyone: *in a very unenthusiastic voice* yay
*However guilt is a very big thing and Sephy begins hallucinating Zack's ghost*
Zack's ghost: Sephy......you KILLED ME!!!!!!!
Sephy: oh hi Zack why don't you sit down and have a drink?
Tifa: Who are you talking to, you dolt?
Zack's ghost: hey why not I've got time *sits down and drinks, the liquid runs through the stab wounds that he has however, but surprisingly no one seems to notice*
Sephy: so Zack, how's death?
Tifa: he's gone crazy
Cait: yeah like I've seen him act weird but this is the weirdest
Zack's ghost: well it's a bitch, I was hoping that by dying I get to see Aeris but that son of a bitch Cloud came to the lifestream and had some "special" revive materia and wanted to resurrected her. When I told Aeris that she had to choose between me or him, she kicked me in the nuts and said that she never liked me, told me to quit stalking her and went off with Cloud
Sephy: man that really sucks, Tifa's like that too, she only married me cause she wanted to make Cloud jealous but that didn't work so she was stuck with me she always says
*everyone gasps*
Tifa: THAT'S A LIE!!!!! I LOVE MY HUSBAND!!!!!
Sephy and Zack: women, can't live with them can't live without them
Sephy: so Zack what are you doing here?
Zack's ghost: I've came to tell you that you will be visited by three ghosts at midnight, no wait that's that old fat man in Texas, I've came to tell you that throwing your life away is a bad idea because you have so much to live for, no wait that's the old woman wanting to commit suicide, wait I remember I want to haunt you cause YOU KILLED ME!!!!!!!!
Sephy: no I didn't my henchmen did
Zack's Ghost: you know what I mean
Sephy: actually I don't
Zack's ghost: ARGH!!!! YOUR NOT WORTH MY TIME OR EFFORT!!!!!! ALL I'M GOIN TO SAY IS YOU SUCK FOR KILLING ME!!!!! *disappears*
Sephy: my bestest best friend says I suck? That was so mean
Tifa: uumm I think everyone should go home
Everybody: good idea *everyone leaves*
Tifa: WHAT THE HELL WAS GOING ON??!!!!
Sephy: well Tifa, my bestest best friend said I sucked
Tifa: okay, Sephy do you need to take medication again?
Sephy: oh can I take those chewy Flinstone ones? I mean I'm going to go visit the three kind ladies maybe they'll tell me something
Me: man this guy's a real bad judge of character and I thought the king was
Scene 6: I wouldn't mess with the man named Valentine if I were you
*In the forest where Sephy met the weird sisters*
Scarlet: what can we do to screw with MacSephy now?
Elena: maybe we can roll him up in a carpet and throw him off a bridge, hee hee
Tseng: ooooooookay, Elena? Your weird I've got a better idea let's make him kill his own best friend
Scarlet: he already did that remember?
Tseng: oh yeah well can I take this dress off now?
Scarlet: no
Tseng: aaaaawwwwwwww
*just than Sephy enters*
Sephy: hi kind old ladies, I need your help
Scarlet: and we know how to
Sephy: well can you tell me my future?
Scarlet: okay Tseng tell him
Tseng: well first beware the man named after the holiday
Sephy: Christmas?
Scarlet: no
Sephy: St. Patrick's day?
Elena: no
Sephy: Halloween?
Tseng: no
Sephy: Guy Fox Day?
Scarlet: NO YOU ASSHOLE!!!!!! WE'RE TALKING ABOUT VINCENT!!!! VINCENT VALENTINE!!!!!!
Sephy: oh him, okay what else?
Elena: no full human shall be able to harm MacSephy
Sephy: hey cool, since everyone is full human that means I'M INVINCIBLE!!!!!! Unless......the saiyans invade earth
Scarlet: *sighs and slaps forehead* you will only fall when the Sleeping Forest walks to your castle
Sephy: okay I guess I'm covered, thanks for all your help oh it must be pretty dark in this forest so I got you ladies some candles *gives them some lit dynamite* now I must go off Valentine *leaves*
Tseng: we're screwed
Scarlet: I told you we should have played with someone else's life but nnnnnnnooooooo we had to play with MacSephy's
Elena: you know instead of standing around we can run-
*The dynamite goes off and sets the entire forest into an inferno*
Sephy: I think they're liking their gift already now to plan Valentine's demise I think I'll have some men pay a visit on his door
*Meanwhile at the Valentine household*
Yuffie: sigh I miss my Vinny, when will he be back? Oh well I can guarantee there's gonna be a little action for him when he does get back
Me: I'm not going to say anything
Yuffie: now to see if I have the things I need when he returns, hhhmmmmm rope? Got it, handcuffs? Check, whips? Yep can't forget those
Me: I am REALLY not going to ask
*just than a very familiar bald man enters*
Yuffie: huh? Who are you and what are you doing in my house?
Rude: HE MARRIED YOU??!!! I mean, where is the lord of the house?
Yuffie: he is away on business, namely to prove MacSephy is really evil and clear Prince Reno's name
Rude: DAMN!!!! Why couldn't he be here? Oh well I guess I have to kill you
Yuffie: yeah go ahead and try it baldy
*Yuffie proceeds to kick Rude's ass*
Yuffie: TAKE THIS *kicks him in the head*
Rude: ow
Yuffie: and this *punches Rude in the jaw*
Rude: owwie
Yuffie: THIS WILL TEACH YOU TO MESS WITH A DEFENCELESS GIRL!!!! *Kicks Rude in the groin*
Rude: ooooooooooo
Me: ow that's gotta sting
Rude: why does she have to know self-defense? Okay I beat her like this so I have to attack her psychologically
Yuffie: there is absolutely nothing you can say to me that will work
Rude: uuuuummmmm you see I also came to tell you your husband Mr. Valentine doesn't love you anymore
Yuffie: what? My Vincent doesn't love me? *Starts getting all sad* my life isn't worth living anymore *takes a dagger and stabs herself*
Me: I take it she doesn't know the meaning of "moving on"
Rude: *blinks* okay, I guess my job's done *leaves*
Scene 7: All evil people are always screwed in the end
Vincent: I have been travelling for some time now, but I have finally found where Reno is, hiding under King Cid the king of another land I hope he can help
*Vincent enters Cid's castle and meets Reno*
Vincent: Prince Reno I have been looking for you
Reno: LOOK I DIDN'T SLEEP WITH YOUR DAUGHTER!!!!!! Oh uuumm oh it's you sorry I thought you were Mr. Lockhart
Vincent: *blinks* okay Prince Reno I need your help, the land that you should have been King of is being ruled be MacSephy and he doing a REALLY bad job at it
Reno: are you sure that you want me to be king? Like all I'll do is be half pissed drunk on my ass all the time and won't help the people when they need help
Vincent: really?
Reno: yeah and I'll sleep with any hot girl that wants to get it on, in fact I think your wife's pretty hot
Vincent: LEAVE MY WIFE OUT OF THIS!!!! I mean I'm really sorry to hear that
Reno: yeah and I'll start wars for the stupidest reasons, like if you call me Wino I'll start a war
Vincent: oh I get it this is a test to see if I'm loyal to you and want a better king than MacSephy, your not really going to do those things
Reno: actually I was planning to those things
Vincent: you can stop joking now
Reno: (oh well he just doesn't get it) okay, but anyway I will help you see while you've been ruled be Sephy I've been hiding under King Cid and been raising an army
Cid: yep and we're all gonna kick MacSephy's ^%@%^@$^@& ass do ya wanna help?
Vincent: I don't know
*Cait Sith than runs in*
Cait: is there a Mr. Valentine here?
Vincent: that's me
Cait: well Sephy sent an assassin and he murdered everyone in your household, servants, pets, your wife everything
Vincent: WHAT?!! THAT'S IT HOW DARE HE GO AND MURDER MY YUFFIE!!!! THIS IS PERSONAL!!!! YES COUNT ME IN!!!!!
Cid: that's good say, why did you marry her?
Vincent: well I guess it all has to do with the first day we met, well we.....
Reno: sorry Vince we've got no time for a flashback
Vincent: we don't? DAMN!!!!!
Cid: so like here's the plan there's a forest surrounding Sephy's castle we're gonna camaflouge our troops and walk toward the castle
*Meanwhile at MacSephy's castle*
Doctor: and your confident that the Lady of the house is walking in her sleep?
Maid: yes I see her do it every night
Doctor: well let's see if what your saying is true
*Sure enough Tifa does sleepwalk and she sits down and appears to be writing a letter*
Tifa: Dear Cloud how are you? I'm not doing good I got married to a moron who can't even think for himself, why did you choose that Ancient over me, huh? I want you so bad please leave her so you can be with me
Doctor: hhhhhmmm it would appear that she sleepwalks as a way to deal with her emotional stress
Tifa: I'll even tell you a secret, MacSephy was really the one who murdered the king, his friend Zack and the Valentine household
Maid: GASP!!!! Did what I hear is true?
Doctor: quiet it's not good to wake up sleepwalkers
Tifa: love Tifa, now I must mail this letter to my love Cloud *walks over to a mail box and posts it*
Doctor: amazing
Maid: that she in her sleep confessed all the crimes that she and her husband committed?
Doctor: no, that she was able to all that in her sleep
*At the post office*
postman: *recieves Tifa's letter* another one? Sigh doesn't Mrs. Lockhart Sephroith know that Cloud has closed any letters from her? Don't blame him either she seems to send hundreds
Me: tell me why I'm not surprised?
*Meanwhile at MacSephy's castle a few days later*
Sephy: la dee da, it feels so good to be king so what's the news today?
Servant: the people hate you, some wish you were dead, dinner will be a little late, your wife's committed suicide, there's a forest walking towards your castle and that's it
Sephy: oh okay, WAIT!!!! DID YOU SAY DINNER'S GOING TO BE LATE??!!!
Servant: yeah
Sephy: damn I did not want to hear that
Servant: shouldn't you deal with the fact your wife's dead or that walking forest?
Sephy: do I have to? That would mean I have to get up
*Due to Sephy's poor leadership the castle than gets under attacked by Vincent and Cid's troops*
Vincent: SEPHY!!!! YOU KILLED MY WIFE SO I'M GONNA AVENGE HER BY KILLING YOU!!!!!
Sephy: look as much I want to fight you can't beat me cause I received a prophecy saying that I can't be killed by any full humans
Vincent: oh really? Gee that sucks I'm as human as they come well except for the fact that due to your jackass father's experiments I turn into monsters when I get mad enough
Sephy: come on your making that up
Vincent: no but I guess I can't beat you
Sephy: DAMN right, so now I can say stuff like this: you wife's a slut
Vincent: stop making fun of her, she's dead isn't that bad enough?
Sephy: yeah a few of my buddies came and told me that she was really good
Vincent: gggggggrrrrrrrrrr
Sephy: in fact your wife is SSSSSSOOOOO slutty she makes mine seem like a virgin
Vincent: RRRRRRROOOAAAAAARRRRRRRRRR *Vincent transforms into Chaos*
Sephy: oh shit
Vincent: *grabs Sephy and bites his head off and than reverts* burp excuse me
*Reno and Cid than run in*
Cid: show yourself Sephy and take your ass kicking like a man
Vincent: I already killed him
Cid: well thanks a lot Vincent I take the time to make a heroic charge and you have to ruin it by killing the villain already
Reno: *looks at Sephy's decapitated body* ouch don't wanna be him
Vincent: so did you find anyone else?
Cid: well we found Tifa's body apparently she committed suicide cause she just found out Cloud rejected all her love letters
Vincent: that's nice well I must be off
Reno: why? Cause I was planning to throw a booze party
Vincent: well I have sinned because I wasn't a good husband so I'm going on a quest to resurrect Yuffie or Lucrecia or maybe both *leaves*
Reno: didn't know Vince had it in him oh well
Cid: so what do you want to do now?
Reno: let's get something to eat
Cid: sounds good
Reno: on you and I order you to pay cause I'm king
Cid: Damn *takes out a cigarette*
Reno: and so the glorious rule of Reno begins heh heh
*Just than I wake up*
T.V: and I hope you enjoy our feature presentation of Macbeth
Me: Hey what a dream, but you know what? I think I found my inspiration, I've gotta write this on the computer *rushes on the computer and does so*
*Meanwhile on a family cruise line*
Cloud: and that is how the inspiring author Mallow64 wrote an entire Macbeth parody with our friends
Iris: that's nice, BUT YOU WERE TRYING TO TELL ME WHY THERE'S NO BABY PICTURES OF ME!!!!!
Aeris: oh there baby pictures of you honey
Cloud: I just keep them where I need them the most
*the scene shifts to Cloud's work office and there are multiple baby pictures of Iris and a small sign in bold letters that say "DO IT FOR HER"*
Iris: so what's next for us daddy?
Cloud: well I think Mallow is going to write a sequel to his Sleeping Beauty story
Aeris: yeah I was also curious to what happened
Cloud: well we've just got to wait and see
THE END
And so ends my pretty chaotic and slightly confusing story, I hope you enjoy I was in the middle of writing Sleeping Beauty's sequel but while writing it I decided to try something new, for anyone who's interested here's the cast list of who played who in this Macbeth parody
Sephroith as Macbeth- the head role Macbeth was once a good man and was the one who was going to get his life toyed by three witches by knowing his own future he grew power hungry and began killing off people he paid for his crimes however
Tifa as Lady Macbeth- Lady Macbeth was well Macbeth's wife, she played a big role in convincing Macbeth to kill the king she later did started sleep-walking and killed herself presumably because of guilt. She was a power hungry woman and this was rather odd to see, for women in Shakespeare time was considered inferior to men but Lady Macbeth seemed like a partner to Macbeth
Tseng, Elena and Scarlet as the three witches- three witches who decided to play a game by toying with someone's life by letting him know of his future, they didn't actually die in Macbeth I kinda killed them off here cause I hate Scarlet, Tseng and Elena
Zack as Banquo- Macbeth's best friend and the only other person to see the witches but because he was in Macbeth's way he did get killed
Iris as Fleance Banquo's son- Iris was a girl in here but in the play Fleance was a boy, oh well who really cares? It was prophesied that he will later be king in Macbeth and he was actually the intended target but he escaped, in the version I read I never hear of him again but I hear in other versions that he does end up being king
Barrett as King Duncan- the king was a bad judge of character, got killed do I really need to say more?
Cait Sith as Ross- Ross didn't play a big role he was like the yes man and the messenger but hey that's my opinion
Vincent as Macduff- Macduff was the one who killed Macbeth, the original prophecy went really like this "you shall not be harmed by anyone women born" so that made Macbeth over-confident because everyone has to born from women right? Well Macduff was not you see he was prematurely ripped from his mother's womb before he was born so that apparently did count as being woman born, if anyone know's how that works I like to know
Yuffie as Lady Macduff- she played a very small role and did get killed, but I suppose it was because of this it motivated Macduff to want to kill Macbeth so badly right?
Reno as Malcolm- Malcolm was the son of Duncan and was really supposed to be next in line if not for Macbeth's political scandal well he end up being king so he got what he deserved
Rude as a murderer- killed people that's all but he had a way easier time that dealing with Yuffie, eh?
Cid as King Siward- the king of another land so he decided to help didn't play a big role but it was because of his army they were able to defeat Macbeth
So that's all for now, anyway as for the sequel to Sleeping Beauty I have chosen names from my kind reviewers to be added to the story and they so far are:
Jennifer Gainsborough, Christi, Liete, Lena and Takaru. I chose your names because you gave my great reviews in Sleeping Beauty and motivated me to keep writing oh and if anyone else would like to have a name mention in my next story tell me and I'll see if I can put it in well see ya and peace :)