A/N: So this is just a short something that I wrote to fill in the episode 1x07 blanks. Specifically those scenes that I so desperately wanted to see. It was originally going to just be the scene where Callie tells Lena and Stef but the more that I thought about it, the more that I felt I needed to include a couple of additional scenes (including how Callie comes to the decision that she's going to tell them). Anyway...I hope you enjoy...
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When Callie admits what Liam did to her, Brandon feels his stomach twist in painful knots. Despite the sudden onset of nausea, he keeps his face as neutral as he can when he tells her that he's sorry, not wanting her to worry about anything other than herself.
When she admits moments later that she thought for a long time that it was her fault, his stomach flips again, the nausea nearly overwhelming him, and he can't help the frown that comes to his face. He's glad when she says that she knows it's not her fault, glad that he won't have to convince her that she's blameless because he has no clue how he would go about doing that, even though he would have tried. He's glad that she knows it's not her fault but it doesn't seem like nearly enough.
He watches her carefully as she finishes talking, while, for her part, she looks everywhere but at him. When it becomes clear that she's got nothing left to say, he tries to come up with something to fill the silence, anything. He closes his eyes and wills the right words to come to him but when he opens them again, all he has to offer is a soft, repeated, "I'm sorry."
Callie looks up at him then, her eyes meeting his briefly, as she shrugs her shoulders and wraps her arms around herself.
He wants to replace her arms with his own, he wants to wrap her up tight until she forgets all about Liam, but he feels like that that would be the exact wrong thing to do right now. "Callie, what happened to you, it's just not fair."
She shrugs again. "Didn't you know life isn't fair?"
He doesn't answer her question, not because he's fairly certain that it's a rhetoric question, but because he's slightly embarrassed by the answer that pops into his head. Not until now. Every day of his life he's woken up and gone to bed feeling safe and loved. He wonders if she's ever felt either. Unfair, he's pretty sure, doesn't even begin to cover it.
Eventually he shoves his hands in his pockets and tries to smile normally at her. "Well…what do you want to do now?" He asks, keeping his tone as light as possible.
If she'd really been paying attention, Callie would have noticed the change in his posture and in his tone of voice, she would have realized that all he is really asking her is if she wants to go home or somewhere else, but she's barely listening to him, too lost in her own thoughts. So, instead, she assumes he's still talking about Sarah, about Liam. "Now I…" Callie breathes the next words out in a rush, "I have to tell your moms," she murmurs, looking up at him with wide earnest eyes.
Her words throw him off guard but not because she's misconstrued his question but because of what she's actually said. She was so opposed to idea of calling Bill when he'd suggested it earlier today and she must know that telling his moms, a cop and a vice principal, is basically the same thing. Meeting her eyes, he can tell that she's waiting for him to say something but he's not sure what that something should be. He's not sure whether she wants his approval or for him to talk her out of it. He sighs, her words from before, about red flags and high risk categories and group homes, floating through his brain. Even though he knows that telling is the right thing to do, he can't help the question that leaves his lips, "What about…your file?" His words are soft, inquisitive.
Callie smiles ruefully at him, her eyes somehow looking even sadder now than they did before. "It doesn't really matter." It's only sort of a lie, so she hopes he won't call her on it. It's not as if she really has any other choice. She doesn't want to spend the rest of her life closing her eyes and picturing Liam hurting Sarah. Sarah's barely more than a kid and if she won't protect herself, she needs someone to do it for her. Someone needs to keep Sarah safe. Callie's own file, the possibility of getting sent to a group home, any other concern she might have, pale in comparison to that.
Brandon's stomach clenches for what feels like the millionth time since this conversation started, he can't stand how sad Callie looks. He knows what she thinks she'll be risking by speaking up, the possibility that they'll take her away, and the fact that she's going to do it anyway makes him think that she's probably the bravest person he's ever met. He wonders if she even has an ounce of a clue about how incredible she is? "Alright then," he offers in what he hopes is a supportive tone of voice, nodding resolutely at her decision, before pulling the cars keys out of his pocket and holds them up for her to see. "Ready to ditch this joint?"
The corners of her mouth twitch ever so slightly at his words before she nods in agreement, "ya."
Despite her agreement to leave and the ghost of a smile she gives him, he can't help but notice how she doesn't unwrap her arms from around herself until they're at the car and she has to in order to open the door. He thinks she's probably dreading what's going to come next. He wants to say that his moms won't let anything happen but, despite how full heartedly he believes that, he knows that those words will sound like nothing more than placating to her. Instead, as they climb into the car he says, "We can take the long way home if you want."
She doesn't smile at his words this time but she does seem to relax a bit as she buckles her seat belt and leans her head against the window glass. "That sounds like a good idea."
He nods, relieved. He might not have any idea how to help undo the damage that Liam has done. He might have no clue what the right things to say are but at least now he knows he can do something, even if that something is small. A long drive, some time to breathe, to gather her thoughts before what he knows will be a difficult conversation, this he can do for her.
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By the time Brandon's finished taking the longest way home he can think of, it's dark out. When he pulls into the driveway, he looks over at Callie, who is still seemingly lost in thought, looking out the window like she's been for most of the ride. He wants to say something helpful but even with all that time he's had to think during the drive, he hasn't come up with much. "You can change your mind, you know," he ends up telling her.
Callie looks over at him, "No I can't," she answers quickly, her voice resolute. No matter how uncomfortable it makes her, telling is no longer a choice, it's a necessity. She's determined. She won't let Sarah get hurt.
"Okay," he just shrugs, like it's no big deal, and gets out of the car, following her into the house and into the living room, where his moms are sprawled out on the couch.
"Hey guys," Lena calls out in greeting.
"Hey where you been?" Stef's greeting follows.
"Oh, I, uh, took Callie to group," Brandon motions over to Callie.
Stef smiles at him. "Oh that was nice of you."
Remembering their earlier conversation, Lena turns to Callie, asking, "Did you share?"
"I did," Callie answers with a nod, her voice firm, the tone hinting that something more might be coming.
"I'll let you talk," Brandon offers somewhat awkwardly as he starts to leave.
Callie glances back at him, "Oh you can stay." She's not sure why she says it but she knows that she wants him there. Maybe just in case she can't bring herself to finish.
Somewhere between Callie's 'I did' and Brandon's words, Lena gets the sense that whatever is going on is serious. She looks over at Stef and she can tell immediately that her partner feels the same way. Stef sits up and they both lean forward on the couch, not saying a word, giving the entire floor to Callie.
Callie shuffles forward, taking a seat in the chair across from them. She sits on her hands on the edge of the seat, although she's not sure if this action is to keep herself routed in place or to keep Lena and Stef from seeing the way her hands are shaking.
"Umm I have something I need to tell you," Callie starts before pausing a moment. She can sense Brandon behind her and she can feel Stef and Lena waiting with batted breath. She takes a breath of her own, convinces herself that it's now or never, and dives in, choosing each of her words as carefully as she can. "A little while ago I was living with another family. It was a pretty good situation and they…had a boy with…with them. He was uh…their son. Liam." She swallows, almost as if his name has actually left a bad taste in her mouth. "He umm…paid a lot of attention…to me. Sometimes when his parents weren't home we'd hang out…alone. He'd tell me that I was special and I…I really believed that he felt that way. But umm…he didn't…not really."
Although Callie is looking in their direction Lena can tell that she's not looking at them at all, her eyes resonate nothing but sadness as she looks past them into a memory that Lena wishes with all her heart didn't exist. She knows exactly where this story is going, she can sense it in her bones, and by the way that Stef has tensed beside her, her hand clenching into a tighter and tighter fist, it's evident that she knows too. Still the next words that leave Callie's mouth are painful to hear.
Callie looks up at the ceiling and then down at the ground, the volume of her voice dropping. "One night he came into my room and he wanted me to umm…" she rushes through her next words, "…have sex with him." Just the word sex makes her uncomfortable and she bites the inside of her cheek a second before taking a shuddering breath and continuing. "I uh…I uh said I wasn't ready. So he…forced me to." She stops there, closing her eyes, not wanting to see the looks on Stef and Lena's face.
Stef and Lena share a quick look as Lena reaches up to brush at the moisture that has inadvertently formed in her eyes. Lena reaches over and grabs Stef's hand, needing the warmth, something to ground her, as she works on forming the right words to say about this terrible, terrible thing that happened to this girl that she loves.
Stef is the first to find her voice, "Oh baby, oh Callie…" she starts, her voice full of sorrow. She's about to continue when Callie blinks her eyes back open.
"Wait." Callie tells her, surprising everyone, including herself, by how loud the word comes out. She immediately apologizes, "I'm sorry…I just…this isn't really about me."
Lena frowns, not sure how this can not be about Callie but she nods in what she hopes Callie will understand is support.
Callie takes another deep breath, glancing back at Brandon momentarily, before continuing, "There's umm…this girl in my group, Sarah, and she's living with the Olmsteads. With Liam," she clarifies, "And he…I'm positive he's doing to her what he did to me and I tried to warn her but she wouldn't listen and someone needs to stop it before he…before he really hurts her." It all comes tumbling out in a rush of words and she looks up at them desperate for their help in keeping Sarah safe.
Lena can barely stand the way Callie is looking at them with wide pleading eyes. She can't tell if she's worried that they won't do anything or that they won't believe her. Regardless, she doesn't hesitate to try and assuage whatever fear Callie is feeling. "We will stop it Callie. We will call Bill and we will make sure that they remove…it's Sarah, right?" It's not Callie but Brandon who gives Lena the nod she needs to continue. "We will make sure that Sarah is removed from that home immediately. I promise."
"Okay, good, that's good," Callie nods her head at Lena's words, something akin to relief setting in. She bites her bottom lip. "Can I go upstairs now?" Now that she knows that they will take care of it, she just wants to be alone.
"No," Stef shakes her head, the word coming out firm, although she regrets it when what looks like both surprise and maybe fear seem to flit across Callie's face. She can feel Lena's inquisitive gaze too but she doesn't even look over at her partner, instead getting up and kneeling in front of Callie. "Not until I get the chance to give you a hug." She wraps her arms around Callie, ignoring the way the girl stiffens. She kisses her on the forehead before pulling back. "Thank you for telling us this. For being so brave."
Lena is on her feet as well, taking a place beside Stef, her hand on the edge of Callie's seat. "I want you to know that I'm very sorry about what happened to you Callie. Stef is right, it was very brave of you to tell us. What you've done for Sarah is pretty great."
Callie shrugs. "I'm pretty sure she won't see it that way," she mumbles off handily and Brandon can't help but sigh in agreement.
Stef glances up at Brandon momentarily before looking back to Callie. "Well…sometimes when you're right in the middle of something, it's hard to realize what you need," she offers, reaching up and tucking a piece of Callie's hair behind her ear. She watches Callie's face for a long moment before she adds softly, "you know that what Liam did to you wasn't okay, right love?"
Callie nods her head slowly. "Ya, I know," she says, although the look in her eyes suggests that she might not have always thought that way.
"Good, because it wasn't," Lena is the one who responds for Stef.
Callie nods again. Looking away from the two women, she mumbles, "Now can I go upstairs?"
Lena shares a look with Stef before sighing, "yes, you can go upstairs." She stands up at the same time as Callie, wrapping one arm around the girl's shoulders and pulling her into a side hug. "If you need anything, anything at all, you just tell us, okay sweetheart? We're right here."
Callie nods and Lena and Stef both manage to sneak another forehead kiss in before she heads for the stairs.
Brandon moves to follow her but Stef calls after him, stopping him in his tracks. "Brandon, wait,"
He stops and turns towards his mom. "Ya?" He asks softly, tilting his head in question.
Stef walks over to him and pulls him into a hug. "I just want to make sure you're okay."
"I'm…fine," he tells her. When Stef raises her eyebrow at him, he shrugs and adds, "I'm just worried about what's going to happen to Callie now."
Stef frowns, sharing a look with Lena before turning her attention back to Brandon. "What do you mean baby?"
"She said that when you admit to having a relationship with a foster brother they put a red flag in your file and that if they think you're too much of a risk they could put you in a group home. But that's not really fair in this situation…I mean, he was an adult, it shouldn't really count, right?"
Brandon has said so many things that make Stef's head turn that she doesn't even know where to start, so she's thankful when Lena sputters out, "An adult?"
Brandon nods, "he was nineteen when Callie lived with him. She was only fourteen." The look on his face shows how much this bothers him.
"Nineteen." Stef repeats incredulously, shaking her head in disbelief. She is pretty sure that if this guy were standing in front of her right now she would kill him.
"Mom…" Brandon's voice causes Stef to blink out of her train of thought. "They aren't really going to put Callie in a group home because of this, are they?" He asks softly.
"Well…they can put Callie in a group home over my dead body," Stef declares.
Lena shakes her head, somewhat amused by Stef's choice of word. "Mom is right, nobody is putting Callie anywhere. She's staying here with us." Even though she knows she should, she doesn't add, at least until we can find her a permanent home. The truth is, more and more lately, the thought of Callie and Jude's permanent home has caused her dread. The thought of them leaving bothers her a bit too much.
Brandon nods, offering both of his moms a smile. Callie isn't going anywhere. She's going to stay here with them, with him. Those are exactly the words he wanted to hear.
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Later that night, when Stef comes into their bedroom after brushing her teeth, she finds Lena throwing the pillows off of the bed with more force and hostility than Stef has ever seen her exude.
"Hey what did those pillows ever do to you?" Stef teases as lightly as she can.
Lena looks down at the last pillow she's grabbed off the bed, pitching it with just as much force as the others. "I'm just so angry."
"At the pillows?" Stef asks, raising an eyebrow.
Lena rolls her eyes at Stef. "No, obviously not at the pillows." She takes a breath, trying unsuccessfully to calm herself, "I'm angry at some asshole named Liam who I've never even met."
"Asshole?" Stef shakes her head. "And you're the one who's always harping on me about language."
"Don't even start with me," Lena groans. "Aren't you angry?"
"I'm livid," Stef confirms, her tone implying that that should be obvious. "And sad too, I think."
"Did you hear the way she called it a good situation?" Lena's tone softens a bit, some of the anger dissipating and being replaced by heartbreak. Though the anger builds back up and permeates through her next words, "A good situation? How on earth could someone possibly think that the place where they were raped by a grown ass man was a good situation? Because that's what it was, Stef. Rape. And he was no boy."
"Hey, hey," Stef murmurs, holding her hands out to her partner, in a calming motion. "You're preaching to the choir, love. I know. That home was the exact opposite of a good situation but she's…" she struggles to find the right word, "…she's Callie. Her idea of a good situation is…somewhere where Jude is safe. She doesn't think that her feelings, what happens to her, matters." Stef is reminded of the night she rescued Callie, Brandon, and Jude from the gun toting former foster father, reminded of the way Callie asked her to make sure that Jude went somewhere safe, as if that was the only thing in the world that mattered to her.
Lena nods in agreement, climbing up onto the bed. "You're right. You know that even tonight, she only told us about Liam to protect that other girl, Sarah. Like what he did to her didn't really matter."
"Sometimes I just want to take her by the shoulders and shake her until she really believes me when I say that she matters, that she's important." Stef sighs, climbing up onto the bed as well, resting her face in her hands and mumbling, "What on earth are we going to do, Lena?"
Lena puts her hand on Stef's shoulder, squeezing gently. "We're going to tell her over and over again that she's important, that she matters, and that she's safe here, until one day she finally believes us. Also, we're going to at least try and make sure that the asshole pays for what he did to her."
Stef pulls her head out of her hands and smiles ever so slightly at Lena. "This is why I keep you around. You've got all the answers."
Lena manages to laugh at that. "That's the only reason, huh?"
"Well…I can think of a couple other reasons," Stef smirks as they get under the covers and turn out the light.
In the dark, Lena reaches for Stef's hand. "Do you really think she'll be okay?"
Even though she's not actually sure of the answer, Stef answers, "yes." Because even if Callie isn't okay, Stef is going to do everything in her power to make sure that she is.
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Despite her best attempts, Stef cannot sleep. She tosses, turns, looks over at Lena who has somehow managed to fall asleep nearly instantly, and then tosses and turns some more. Finally giving up, she decides that the kitchen, specifically a glass of water, might help, and she gets out of bed. She never quite makes it to the kitchen though because as she passes through the living room she spots a familiar figure sitting on the couch.
Callie is sitting quietly, motionless, with wide eyes staring across the room at seemingly nothing in particular. When Stef comes into the room, Callie turns her head slowly to look at her foster mother but she doesn't say a word, waiting instead to see what Stef will say about her not being in bed.
"Hey honey," Stef says gently, nothing but tenderness in her voice. "Couldn't sleep either?"
Callie shrugs her shoulder, not really saying. The truth is that she barely even made an attempt to sleep. All she'd really done was wait for Marianna to fall asleep so that she could slip out of the room without being asked where she was going. Every time she closes her eyes all she can see is Liam's face and that's not really conducive to sleep. She wonders how angry he'll be when they take Sarah away like Lena promised would happen. She wonders if he'll come see her again. At the thought she can't help but shudder.
Stef can't help but notice the way Callie shudders, she wonders what has caused the sudden action but she doesn't say anything, instead offering lightly, "Well I couldn't sleep, so I'm glad someone's up to keep me company." When Callie gives her a small smile in response, she smiles back and, motioning to the couch, asks, "Can I sit?"
Callie shrugs again but she moves over making more room and Stef figures that's as much as an invitation as she'll ever get.
Callie is in her pajamas, the short sleeve top leaving her arms bare. It isn't until Stef is sitting beside her though that she notices the marks. "What happened to your arm?" She frowns, in full cop mode in five seconds flat. The marks on Callie's arm form a distinctive, recognizable, shape – they look like fingerprints.
Callie looks down at the marks on her arm, seeming genuinely surprised by them. As she slowly traces them with her fingers she gets a faraway look in her eyes. Eventually she looks away from the marks and back at Stef but instead of divulging where they came from she bites her bottom lip nervously and doesn't say a word.
Stef sighs, wanting nothing more than to wrap an arm around the young girl and pull her close, until she feels nothing but safe and loved. "Callie, sweets, someone hurt you and you're gonna have to tell me who," Stef tells her.
Callie fidgets, not really wanting to say anything but eventually deciding that she doesn't really have a choice, Stef isn't the type to give up easily. "Umm…Liam," she mumbles, his name leaving her lips barely louder than a whisper, so quiet that Stef almost has to strain to hear it.
"Liam?" Stef is really worried now and she can't keep the anger out of her voice. "As in the Liam?"
"Mmhm…" Callie nods, looking anywhere but at Stef as she draws her knees up to her chest and wraps her arms around them.
Stef can't help but take note of the action, of how defensive it seems, and suddenly she wonders if her tone of voice is scaring Callie – not that the girl would ever admit to being scared of anything. She sighs, "I'm sorry Callie, sweetheart," she moves a little closer to Callie on the couch, "but please, I need you to talk to me." Stef slowly reaches over and gently tucks a stray piece of hair behind Callie's ear. "I need to know what happened."
Callie tenses when Stef's hand approaches her but she relaxes at the now familiar gesture. Lowering her chin to her knees and settling her eyes on a spot on the floor she finally answers Stef's question. "He umm…he just…he showed up after school yesterday. He came to tell me again…to leave Sarah alone."
"Again?" Stef raises an eyebrow as she picks up on Callie's use of a word that implies that Liam has approached her more than once. Now she's even more worried. If this Liam is harassing Callie, she's going to get a damn restraining order against him.
"He was at…umm…Wyatt's party," Callie looks away from the spot on the floor she's been staring at, picking her chin up off her knees, and looking over in Stef's direction. "It's not…a big deal," she says quietly.
The sadness in Callie's eyes nearly breaks Stef's heart. "Well, you might not think it's a big deal but I am going to kill him, so it will probably become a pretty big deal."
Callie's eyes widen in surprise and Stef can't help the light laugh that escapes her lips, although nothing about this situation is actually funny. "I'm kidding, sweets. About actually killing him, anyway." She would love nothing more than to clobber that son of a bitch, though. How dare he come anywhere near Callie? How dare he cause her more pain than he's already caused her?
The corners of Callie's lips twitch then, it's slight, but she's smiling and it makes Stef feel just a little bit better. She reaches over and grabs one of Callie's hands, squeezing it tightly between both of her own. "Listen to me a sec, will you, love?"
The smile is gone in an instant, as Callie swallows thickly.
Stef can almost feel the dread rolling off the young girl. She's noticed that Callie always seems to be waiting for the other shoe to drop, as if she expects that any time Stef or Lena want to talk to her that it must be about something bad. It hurts her heart to think of what Callie must have endured, of what must have happened, for her to feel that way.
Stef pulls Callie's hand up to her lips and kisses it before lowering it again. "I just want you to be really clear on this, Callie. You are safe here. Lena and I, we really want you to believe that. We really want you to feel that way. You're important to me, to Lena too. And I want you to know that I am going to do my absolute best to make sure that no one, not Liam, not anyone, ever dares to hurt you again." She doesn't elaborate on how she's going to do that, she just uses her most reassuring tone of voice.
Callie doesn't really have any idea how to react to Stef's declaration. Safe. What a word. Knowing logically that this house is safe and actually feeling safe are two completely different things. It's been so long since she's actually felt safe, she's not even sure she can remember what that feeling is.
She has a strict 'don't let them see you cry' policy but she's just so tired. Tired of not sleeping, tired of being scared, tired of all the memories, tired of trying to hold it all together. Her bottom lip begins to quiver and she takes a shuddering breath before one tear and then another starts to roll down her cheeks. She ducks her head, looking away from Stef but she doesn't try to stop the tears that are silently falling. She's too tired to fight them.
"Oh Callie, oh baby," Stef hums, dropping Callie's hand so that she can wrap her arms around her, ignoring the way the girls shoulders tense as she does so and pulling her closer, engulfing her in a tight hug and rubbing her back soothingly.
After a minute of Stef's soft murmuring, Callie seems to relax, at least a bit. A few minutes later she pulls back, wiping the stray tears away and taking a deep breath, composing herself as best she can. "I'm sorry."
"No, don't do that," Stef shakes her head, smoothing Callie's hair. "No apologies. You have absolutely nothing to be sorry about. Nothing." She doesn't just mean the crying and she hopes Callie understands that.
Callie looks unconvinced but she nods her head in agreement and offers Stef the faintest of smiles and Stef is willing to accept that as a win.
"Okay," Stef smiles too, leaning in and planting a kiss on Callie's cheek. "Now how about a glass of milk? We might even be able to scrounge up a couple of cookies."
Callie smiles a bit wider then, shaking her head in amusement, "sure."
"Just don't tell Lena I'm feeding you cookies so late at night," Stef jokes, winking so that Callie knows she's kidding. "On second thought, don't tell Jesus, or he'll be up at midnight every night just waiting for someone to let him have a cookie." She laughs, getting up off the couch and offering Callie her hand.
Callie stares at the offered hand for only a split second before she reaches for it and lets Stef help her up off the couch.
Stef doesn't let go of her hand as she leads Callie to the kitchen and Callie can't help but think that, even though she might not know exactly what it's like to truly feel safe, maybe, just maybe, in this house she'll learn. The truth is, maybe she's already started.
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