Mustang's Harem
A Fullmetal Fanfiction
By asa-chan
Warning: Hints of Shonen Ai, silly humor, PG 13
Pairing: You can call it Roy/Ed...
Disclaimer: I don't own FMA
-One-Shot-
It was a wonderful day, the sun was shining, the birds were chirping, the flowers were blooming and it was sweltering in East Area Headquarters, because the air conditioner was, once again, broken.
Roy Mustang, was sitting at his desk, staring boredly at the whining men in front of him.
"Colonel! Are you really serious about kicking out all men when you become the Fuhrer and rule over the military?!" Havoc asked, a desperate expression on his face, cigarette nearly falling out off his mouth.
"It's completely unfair!" Breda, Farman and Fury complained in chorus, standing slightly behind Havoc, indignant expressions on their faces.
"Hmph....., if you want to see the women wear all miniskirts, why won't you all try out to become the Fuhrer? I'm after all the one who does all the hard work." Mustang replied evenly, shuffling his paperwork on the desk around, his face expressionless.
The faces of his subordinates darkened dangerously, while Roy continued talking, oblivious to the dark vibes the other men gave off.
'Shitty Bastard..., we were doing all the work! Edward is right, the colonel is an ass!' Was the thought of Havoc, Fury, Breda and Farman.
"...And if you so desperately want to see the women, undergo a gender-change. Than you can join. Again." Roy smirked, black eyes glittering with amusement.
Meanwhile a certain blonde Alchemist, with a huge suit of armor accompanying him, was walking towards the closed door to Mustang's office, passing Hawkeye, who was sitting at her desk.
"Is the Colonel in there? And where is everyone?" Edward Elric asked sourly, pointing with his right arm towards the wooden door.
"Ah, Edward-kun, Alphonse-kun. Yes, the Colonel is in his office, with the others. Do you have your report?" Hawkeye replied, looking up from her paperworks.
"Ahh, I will give it to him now..." Ed stalked towards the door, a scowl on his face. Alphonse bowed apologetically and followed his older brother, his suit making a clanking sound with each step he took.
"But, but...." Havoc stuttered, trying to find a valuable reason to keep Roy from kicking them out of the military.
"But what about Fullmetal? He is also male!! Will you even fire him?"
Dark eyes narrowed and Havoc continued quickly.
"I mean, he is technically still a kid! If you kick him out, he will starve of death or fall ill!! That's heartless!" He argued, praying feverently that Ed wouldn't come in and overhear him proclaiming, that Ed still was a child.
"Hmm, I recall that Fullmetal is a talented alchemist and certainly can build himself a home and can transmute food, if necessary. But don't fear about his wellfare, I won't kick him out."
"...Eh? But why not? He is male...., just because he is your charge!"
'It's favoritism! Completely unfair!'
"Oh no, it's not that..." Chuckled Roy, lacing his hands together and leaned forward. Nobody of the men noticed the handle of the door being pushed down.
"What?" Demanded Havoc.
Nobody noticed the door being opened.
"The truth is that Fullmetal, pretty and built like he is, will make my wonderful harem complete!" Mustang declared loudly, a wide grin on his face.
The familiar clanking sounds stopped and a sharp intake of breath was finally heard.
All five men slowly turned around, their hearts sinking with trepidation.
Blue light flashed as automail was transmutated into a sharp blade.
"DIE PERVERT!! DIE PERVERT!! DIE PERVERT!! DIE!!! DIE!!!! DIE!!!!!"
"Nii-san!"
-End-
Uh, yes....., that was pointless? I'm always presenting Roy as a pervert...., he is probably one, but...
Review?
asa-chan