"Why do you think he wears it?"
Happy sat cross-legged on the green barstool. A shaft of sunlight arced through the window and kissed the top of her head, making her dark hair glimmer like someone had sprinkled fairy dust on it. Her hands were full, as always; they were half-heartedly occupied in solving a tiny Rubik's cube.
"Wears what?" Paige looked up from the fridge, a clear plastic container of orange Jell-o in her arms. She backed away, shutting the door, and carried the dessert to the counter. Removing a purple spoon from the pocket of her white capris, she began to serve the wiggly treat in two small white bowls.
"That hat of his." Happy reached out her hand for a bowl, and Paige passed it to her. She leaned towards the counter, dropping the now-solved cube. She reached for a Mason jar that sat inside a straw basket and selected a mismatched silver spoon.
"Why don't you just ask him?" Paige suggested. She took a spoonful of Jell-o and popped it in her mouth. "He's right over there." She waved her hand in his direction. The shrink was currently sitting upside down in what ought to have been an accent chair, were it not for the grease stained upholstery and the missing lathe-turned leg replaced by a pink crowbar. He appeared to be measuring some kind of vital statistic with a smartphone app. The aforementioned hat sat on his left knee.
"I'm not sure he'd give me a straight answer." Happy dug around in her Jell-o like a kid in a sandbox. "I mean, he's always analyzing everyone's hidden motives, even if they don't want to hear it-"
"-Especially if they don't want to hear it-" Paige punctuated the word with her spoon. "And particularly if it's none of his beeswax."
Happy smiled. "Here, here…" She twirled her spoon in the air. "Roasting aside, though – he's painfully honest with everybody. You know it, I know it. It's just – I wondered why, that's all."
Paige closed her eyes, the Jell-o forgotten. She twined her hands together. "You know what I think? It's body armor."
Happy scrunched her eyebrows together. "Body armor? How do you figure?"
"Hear me out; Toby gets inside people's heads for a living. He's very good at it. No matter how hard people try to hide their true feelings from him, there's always a giveaway, a tell, right?" Happy nodded. "Well, it doesn't really make sense if you stop and think about it logically, but I guess it's a little like clutching a blankie when you're afraid of the dark. You don't overthink it when you feel vulnerable."
Happy pushed the half-empty aside. "Soooo…"
Paige smiled. "So I think he wears it to keep other people out of his head."
"That's silly."
"Not to him." She caught Toby's eye and waved. He rolled his legs down off the chair back and grabbed his hat before it hit the ground. He stood, stretched a few times, then placed it firmly on his head with one hand and headed in their direction.
Toby peered into the serving saver, whistling. "Well, well, what do we have here? Sugary orange-flavored cow collagen. Yum. My favorite," he drawled patronizingly, rolling his eyes. He leaned on his elbows and shook his head. "Oh, well, to each her own." He shrugged.
"Ew. Can you go be gross somewhere else?" Happy frowned, sticking out her tongue. Suddenly, her expression changed into something mischievous. Instantly, she reached for her spoon and scooped up some Jell-o, flinging it at his hat.
Whap! The wobbly mass collided with it, oozing down onto the brim. "Hey!" He raised his arms and covered his head with them. "Easy there. That wasn't very nice…."
"I'll give you 'nice'…" Happy bounced off the stool and grabbed the serving bowl. Holding it over her head like a trophy, she pursued the shrink around and around the counter. As Toby shot past Paige, a half-serious, half-mock look of terror in his eyes, he mouthed 'help me'.
Paige leaned forward on the counter, laughing to herself. She felt a tap on her shoulder and looked up to see Happy, paused for the moment to catch her breath, one eye on the spiral staircase as the hat disappeared from view.
Happy chewed her lip thoughtfully. "You know something? I think you may be right…"