Disclaimer: All characters are property of Joss Whedon.
More Than I Deserve: Chapter One
She doesn't think as she picks up the phone and dials his number, praying that he'll answer. She's been through a lot in the last four years, but this is the worst because she doesn't know how to deal with it. Her mom has just died and she's basically become a single parent. She doesn't know what she expects to happen, she just knows that she needs to hear his voice.
"Hello?"
"I didn't know who else to call."
"Anne?" He doesn't like the way her voice sounds and finds himself wishing he could be there with her. "What happened?"
"My mom died this afternoon. Dawn was still at school. I found—I found her on the couch."
"Baby, I'm so sorry. Is there anything I can do? Do you want me to come down there?"
"No, I know you're in the middle of a big case and I don't want to pull you away from it. I just need to hear your voice. To have some kind of comfort."
"Where's Dawn?"
"She's staying with Willow and Tara. She didn't want to be home tonight and I can't really blame her. They offered to let me stay too, but I just need to be alone right now."
"Anne, I've been where you are before. The last thing you need right now is to be alone. You're more important than any damn case I've ever had or ever will have, I'm leaving the office right now and I'll be there in a couple of hours."
"Lindsey, don't. I want you here too, but right now I want to hear your voice more than anything else. Don't hang up. Just keep talking to me."
"About what?" He hates that there's so much physical distance between them right now. He wants to be there with her so he can take her in his arms and offer her the comfort that no one ever thought to offer him when his mom died.
Buffy shakes her head as tears fill her green eyes then spill over, sliding down her cheeks. "I don't care. Anything. Tell me about the case you're working on. Tell me—tell me about your family. You make references to them sometimes, but you never really talk about them."
And for the first time since he'd left his childhood hell, Lindsey did talk. He talked about his life until he'd graduated high school and left for Los Angeles. He told Buffy about his parents, his brothers and sisters, his grandparents and the few friends he'd had in school. They spent hours talking and by the time he was finished, Lindsey could tell that his girlfriend was noticeably calmer than she had been when she'd called him.
"I wish I could have met them."
He smiles as he spins in his chair to look out at the city. "So do I. They would have loved you. Especially my sisters. And my mom."
"I thought you said a few of your brothers and sisters were still alive."
"They are, but we're scattered all over the country. We talk on the phone all the time, but most of them still don't have very much money and as much as I wish I could, I can't take an extended vacation."
Buffy nods even though he can't see her. She knows he's not putting work ahead of his family, but he wants to break the cycle and sometimes that meant making painful sacrifices. "You've been really great tonight, Lindsey. You kept me from going insane."
"Glad I could help."
She smiles and grips the phone a little tighter as though it can somehow give her a physical connection to him. "I don't want this to end, but I have a lot to do tomorrow and I should probably attempt to get some sleep."
"Hey, I understand. I'll talk to you later."
"Thank you for this. I know this case could be big for you."
"No problem, sweetheart. I told you earlier you're more important. Call me when you get a chance tomorrow?"
She smiles again as she plays with a loose thread on her sweatpants. "Always."
"Always," he repeats.
It's their version of "I love you" and right now, it was providing Buffy with untold comfort. They hang up at the same time and she lays her head on the arm of the couch, savoring the warm feeling she always gets after talking to her boyfriend.