3-24-06/EDITED:3-29-06/NOTE:Fixed Elegy a little and errors.
Hello, and welcome to the first chappie of my first story in the Avatar fandom. This is my 3rd fic, and I have been writing this since July/August. It has been a long time, but it is worth it. I am here to explain to you a little, then, I will get on to the story.
I am Chrissy, wosao, the main author of this story; but of course, I have one of my best friends, Britt, Meow-Mix-91, being my co-author. She joined me sometime in August...I think. As you will later find out, I have a horrible memory and will make mental notes to myself in Pig-Latin on the A/N: section, just ignore them. If you can read Pig-Latin, on'tday eadray ymay otesnay! If you can't then just ignore my babling. Well, I have some more important info to tell ya'll. Ok, well, you know now that I have a co-author who is incharge of all the funny chaotic events that happen throughout the story. I am in charge of all the action, fighting, gore-y stuff...and the angst and drama! I would like to tell you all that although the start may be slow of this story, it heats up really fast and really gets better. Things start happening later on, which I cannot disclose at this moment. Also, let this be a warning, this is a story centered around a OC, if you hate OC's then run...run far away cause the main character is an OC. But she is a kick-ass OC. And I will take this time to disclose Britt's and my feelings about Mary-Sues. I want them to die and rot in hell! The firey hell that never stops playing 'Three-Little-Fishes' over and over. I hate them with all their guts. I will tell you this now, this OC is no-where near a Mary-Sue, as she is no where near perfect or all nice and warm and fuzzy and never wrong and invincible. She's actually quite the opposite. So, I just babel on and on to make sure you guys know where we are going with this. To tell ya'll. I am not ditching this story. I have written 271 1/2 pages currently, on page 1 and 1/2 of chappie 19 and I have put way too much time to quit it. But of course, I have threated that I would just kill them all off. But I would never kill of characters cause I'm lazy...never. I am noctorious for a few things...super, big-ass gauchoauthor's notes, as seen above, never shutting up, as seen above, and killing off characters. Like in my POTO story...Erik just happened to be in the way of Raoul's sword. And in the sequel to my SW story, I'll just shut up about that one since I haven't finished the story yet.
WARNING: I like to mess with people and their minds, so if something doesn't make sense or means one thing, it probably means something else and is probably tied up in a later chappie. I also like to hide little things. And also, since I am like such a SW geek, if I ramble on and on about SW, ignore me. Please...and now...on to...the DISCLAIMER! Yay for disclaimers.
Disclaimer:I don't own Avatar...blah blah blah...it belongs to Nick and the creators, not me. I don't get any money off of it. But they ideas in this story belong to me and Britt. The OC's all belong to me and all text belongs to me. Except for the RP-ed chappies and the text I ask my friends to write. Cause they do write for this story a little too.
Now, seriously, onto the story. Please enjoy my 4,000 some word chappie and elegy.
Elegy 1: One Last Story; One Last Time
I never wanted to be who I am. We don't get the choice of who we become. If we were to be as lucky as to choose our lives, I would have never gotten into this mess, to do what I have done.
I walk solemnly, allowing my steps to liner on the floor. I have gone through much, of that I can't deny. I have latter regretted what I have done, but I still did it no matter what. We can't erase our pasts. If that was so, I would voluntarily choose to erase my existence. The world would probably be a better place had I never existed. But we don't get to choose to be born, it happens beyond our control. We don't choose our family either. But I would never want to be born into another family other than my own, Sei.
I step up the polished stone steps, looking down at my feet as I walk, as if I don't have the needed honor to look up. As soon as I reach the top, which was only a few steps, I raise my head. I glance back, making sure that the three people who were supposed to follow me were still there. They are all walking; walking in their own style; she walks very daintily,taking small light steps;both of the men walk regally, only because they think they look better that way.I look around, viewing my reflection off of the glistening stones. Their dark color blend in with the rich color of the walls. As I walk forward, I trace the carvings pf the symbols on the stones. Even to this day, I still have trouble reading them. When I reach my destination, which was the stone with certain symbols that meant great to me, I stop and bow with utter respect and keel down on one knee. They all follow suitand bow completely, respecting it. I reach out to a bowl to the side and take out three lavender leaves and light them in their center, making them smoke, releasing their scent. I lay them in front of the stone gently. I then seemed to be alone, in my own world alone.
I didn't necessarily give up – I never gave up. But you could say that I retired, in a way. The years of my life add up, which aren't many really, the years show upon my face; the light wrinkles near my eyes, showing my experience; the red streaks on my arms of a time long forgotten. I never used to show my arms, not do I now. I was and am self-conscious of them for many reasons. My hair has grown out from that time, now down to or past my shoulders as I used to have it when I was younger and later when I neglected myself. But it once was different – it was my last lifeline and I used it. The lack of care that I showed myself finally adds up now, and I am almost regretting how I treated myself before, almost.
I run my hand through my hair, letting it fall over my shoulders. I sink down low upon my knees, my head almost level to the middle of the stone. My eyes trace the carvings, searching for the ones that I am positive that I can read, searching for the names of the long forgotten, but of a time not forgotten. A few of us wish to forget that horrid time, while most others still seek to finish what was started. People gain self-confidence from unusual times and events. That self-confidence that they gain will almost certainly cause them to die, or at least, be close to dying. I, of all people, would know that, as I was one of them. But that person is no more. Looking back on my life, I see that I was so arrogant and conceited, so overly proud of whom I was, blind to the fact of whom I was becoming; I was becoming the exact evil that I was supposed to be fighting. I was just as bad as they were.
"Great spirits," I whisper silently for only myself and the spirits to hear, "come take my body, come take my soul: take me away from this place. I have done my duty. Release me from this curse I am bound to." I remember the time when I said the exact same words – I was in utter desperation. I say those words to remind myself of the struggle that I went through, of the struggle that I ironically, want to rid my mind of. I then speak louder for everyone to hear."Spirits, grant me the strength and courage to repeat my story for the last time. Let us all tell of our journeys, adventures, and experiences. Of those that are not here, let them visiti us and tell their parts as well. Let none of us miss one detail – not one at all. One last time, spirits, that's all I ask."
Act 1: It Will Never be the Same
Scene 1: A Simple Noble
Love and Anger: the two strongest emotions felt. Love: can be good and bad. Anger: also, can be a pro and con, but is used as a fuel source. Firebending is fueled completely on emotions. Without emotions, there is no Firebending. Which emotions used are up to the bender's preference. Love is a very uncommon fuel. Very few can use it. I used to be one of those people. But just like most of the other benders that used love, fire's true nature ate away at it, throwingme into the self-destructive state. It quickly destroys our honor and mind.
Love and Honor: two very complicated things. Honor is everything, at least to Firebenders. You are nothing, nobody, without honor. Love cannot be defined; everyone has their own definition of it. Love is sometimes arranged, forced, expected, and even,used to save. Love and Honor is this story. A story of trying to find real love, dignity, and of trying to heal the wounds of the past; that sometimes won't close as easily as one may think. Love-Honor-Acceptance: these make up this tale. But, most importantly, this 'story' was and is my life.
Lau's POV
I sighed, as I leaned against the freezing cold railing. We were at the South Pole. A frigid breeze blew, and I pulled my cloak closer around my body. My armor did not help any in keeping me warm, as it was metal, which retained temperatures. Of that much I knew. The same breeze also swirled the snow on an iceberg close by. I watched as the penguins waddled around on it.
"Why do we have to leave such a scenic place?" I sighed, asking myself aloud, paying no attention to my surroundings. The penguins one by one slid off of the iceberg and into the cold water. This place was freezing. Although, we Firebenders can control our body temperatures and heat ourselves up in that kind of place, we had a limited amount that we could use. If we used too much to heat ourselves up, we could get seriously weak or even die. The fire in our blood is the source of our life. Without the fire in our blood, we have no life-the fire is part of us. And I, for certain reasons, was even weaker trying to heat myself up. I grew weak from bending, heating my body, and I grew even more weak from taking the fire from my blood; a double con for me.
"You know why we are leaving Lau." A voice behind me replied. I had been so self absorbed in my thoughts, that I hadn't even hear his shoes clang against the deck. He walked up next to me, and leaned is back onto the railing. I would have loved to see him fall over and plunge into the icy waters below, but that was just because of what happened earlier. "The Avatar has left. And we need to repair these damages that he inflicted." I turned my head to the left, and directly saw his head. His scar burned into my gaze. That flame shaped scar that constantly taunted him. I had been there. It taunted me as well. I was there, but completely helpless to the situation. "Why is it so nice?" His words dripped with sarcasm.
"Can't you see it?" I asked Zuko. He turned half of his body and looked out, playing my game, which wasn't much of a game really. "What do you see?"
"Well, I see a cold, snowy wasteland that's not worth fighting for. What's the big deal? It's just a whole bunch of frozen water." Zuko said, turning back, facing the other side of the deck. He was always nice, if you could describe it nice, to me, at least. It was interesting. He treated everyone else differently, when he would normally yell at people, he would just civilly talk to me. But it made sense.
"Don't you find it interesting that we do need water to survive? I mean to drink and such. And that it takes so much more fire to evaporate water than it takes water to douse fire. It's almost an imbalance. And that water chokes fire." I sated, taking a pause in between. "We always think of fire to be so strong, but really, if you look at the facts, water is stronger than fire is." I didn't even need to look at him. I knew that it was getting on his nerves.
"What are you trying to do? Teach me? You don't want to become a hypocrite, Lau. You can't teach me when you didn't even finish primary school yourself." He said sharply. So what? Yeah, I didn't finish primary school, does that make me stupid! "Can't you figure that I already know that? We learned that in the final year of primary. Oh wait, you wouldn't know that because you never got that far." He taunted me. But even he knew that I didn't need the schooling to be smart. I may not be able to add numbers too well and other things like that, but who would ever need that in life? I don't have a life, a future-I never would. "You almost lecture like I figure a Waterbender would. How the elements need to balance out and how that they should not be stronger than another one." He scoffed aloud.
"If I really was a Waterbender, you would be the first person I would tell. You would be the first person who would find out. But I'm not one. I'm too violent-and I've also been bending the wrong element for 16 years. Hm…" I said, laughing in my words. I looked over to him, just standing there, looking at the wall. He shivered-he was getting cold. An awkward silence filled the air, neither of us spoke. I continued to look up at the moon, which bathed the icebergs with light-it was a full moon. Suddenly, another breeze blew, causing me to pull my cloak closer around my figure. I glanced back at Zuko, and he was still staring at the metal wall, shivering. What was he thinking about in that head of his? But…I probably didn't want to know anyway. 'Men…' I rolled my eyes. "Zuko, you're shivering." I broke the silence. He snapped his head to me. We looked at each other eye level. We were both the same height, which made him either really short or me really tall.
"So, you are too." He replied stubbornly. I sent him a look of annoyance, as that wasn't my point. But I did notice, too, that I was shivering despite my cloak.
"We should go inside. There's no point in wasting energy when it's warm inside." I said sternly. He ignored me and turned his head back and looked at the wall obstinately.
"I'm warm enough. You can just go be a wimp and go inside, but I'm not. A woman shouldn't be outside in this temperature anyway." Zuko said back with sarcasm, taunting because of my gender. I just sighed and sent him a glare. He knew how much I hated being a woman. I rolled my eyes again and took a breath in.
"Fine then…I guess I will go inside. Iroh will probably have something to eat ready and I'm pretty hungry. Nothing is better than hot food to warm someone up." I said, hoping to catch his attention. I didn't want him to stay outside much longer and get hypothermia or something. But I shrugged and turned my back to him. "I'll see you later then." I wrapped my cloak around me one last time and I quietly walked away. I walked halfway to the steel door and then slowed my pace.
1-2-3…I then heard the clang of his shoes against the deck. I knew he would come. My years of being around him have finally paid off. His steps were fast and agile. He walked right by me, and I quickened my pace to meet his. As soon as we reached the entrance door, he swung it open and stopped.
"Lau, you're just lucky that it worked on me this time. I won't fall for it again." Zuko stated as he walked in and I followed. As soon as I closed the door, I only felt heat, but a comfortable heat. We walked down the hallways and a few stairs, which finally led to the upper galley. As we stepped through the open door, the aroma of food hit our noses. It smelled delicious. There, in front of us, sitting at the table, was Iroh, drinking tea-like usual. Zuko and I took our usual seats and sat down, myself forgetting to remove my cloak.
"Good evening Zuko, Zeilau." Iroh greeted us. He always called me by my full first name. No one called me that. Not even Dentou or Kai or Gimu. Mei did, but that was because she always had. I nodded slightly in recognition and Zuko just sat there in all his princely glory. Neither of us said anything for awhile and the air was quiet. Some servants came in bringing us some food, placing bowls in front of us. I nodded a small thanks. I never really liked to have servants. When I was back on Azon and when I was with my parents, our servants were treated very nicely. We paid them quite a larger wage than most would receive. When I was younger, we didn't have servants and I learned the value of working for what I wanted and working for money to pay for things I wanted. I learned from that-learned that you won't always get everything on a silver platter. I learned the great values I would need in life.
"Is something wrong? Neither of you are as talkative as you normally are." We didn't speak, almost like if neither of us wanted to break the silence. But Zuko, with his high-strung anger, spoke out first, beating me.
"Nothing is wrong, Uncle! You don't need to ask! Why do you care anyway?" Zuko snapped back, his volume quieter than normal. "We were just talking up on deck, that's all!" Iroh seemed to accept it as an answer and didn't object to it.
"Ah…another quiet meal with my favorite company." Iroh responded peacefully, closing his eyes as he took a sip of tea. Iroh was like my father on board. He watched over me and made sure I was ok. But I didn't believe that a 16 year old, almost 17 year old needed someone to look out for them. I needed no one to do that-I could do it myself. But I never said that to him as I was grateful for him. After that, another awkward silence filled the air. I continued to eat, not paying any attention to them. Then the silence seemed to be deafening to me and I had to break it.
"So…Zuko, when are we reaching the next port?" I asked him, then taking another spoonful of soup. He swallowed then answered.
"We should anchor in the next harbor by noon tomorrow. There's only one problem-the port's controlled my Zhao, and you know the rest. We won't be able to go around him. He will probably see him and he'll stop us. Don't let him mess with you Lau. If he does, he'll have to answer with me." Zuko responded, his voice hinting a little anger.
"Oh, thanks. I'm so much safer knowing that you'll have to mess him up for me. I could do it better than you could." I mumbled sarcastically under my breath. He sent me a small glare and left the topic alone.
The walls and floors were steel, a balckish color too. My only furniture was a small dresser-like cabinet, a small table and chair, a chest, and a mat and base. There was also a door which led to a bathroom. Various candles and lanterns lined my room, which gave off a red glow. Around the room, various stacks of music littered the floor, cascading off of the table. On top of my dresser was a case, which contained one of my most prized possessions, my father's violin.
I walked to my mat and from under it; I pulled out a bound book and a charcoal pen. I got onto the mat and sat down, my back against the wall. I put the book and the pen on my lap, admiring them. I used charcoal instead of the normal ink because the ink was too messy to write with, and I also had never learned the correct way to write with a calligraphy pen. I only knew the way I picked up from my uncle for using calligraphy. I picked up my book. It was a journal that my mother had given to me a long time ago when I was little. It was golden leather with my name in black on it. Luckily it didn't have my full first name as it was outrageously long-all names were. There were also three symbols in it-the Nation's symbol, the bending symbol, and a symbol of a lost meaning. I was ready to write in it now. I skipped the first page and opened to the second page. I picked up my charcoal pen and started to write.
Juugojuugo/ San/ Nijuushi
I have finally decided that it is due time that I record in this journal. This journal was a gift to me from my mom on my 8th birthday. The year in which I received this, my life changed.
I am Zeilau Sei, which is not my complete name as it is too long, daughter of Tora and Kumo; Tora, meaning Tiger and Kumo, meaning Spider. They are probably few of the most respected people in the Fire Nation. My parents are nobles, my mom by birth, and my dad by marriage. When I was about eight years old, I went to live with my aunt, Kaini, who lives near the palace in Azon. I still hold the title of Noble, even though I know that many of the citizens of the Nation want to strip me of that title.
My family holds a few secrets that cannot be disclosed to anyone. If I were to tell anyone, I would be making my death record. We have held this and one more secret for generations when it started with my great-grandfather. I have always wondered about his side of the family, as no one ever talks about it. All the people that knew about this secret from my great-grandfather's time are all long dead and no one knows now what happened. Not even Zuko knows, and I am almost afraid of what will happen if or when he finds out.
Zuko had been my friend for as long as I can remember. He actually accepted me for who I was, which I always have valued. He is probably one of the only people that have never judged me, except for a few people. I still remember that small playful boy he used to be. I know that that little boy is still inside of him, but I also know that it isn't going to show up anytime, if at all, soon. We basically banded together as we both didn't fit in too much. Zuko still had his tongue when he was little and I was just myself. We started to hang out and became quick friends. I don't remember much of the Fire Lady as she rarely came out and I had only seen a few times. All I can remember was her black hair, so long and shiny. It is forever etched into my memory. I had never really like the Fire Lord, but I wouldn't dare say that on land, but I have become a little more daring on sea, and have stated it already, much to the disapprovement of Iroh who said I shouldn't talk like that. We have been stuck on this ship for 2 years now. I came when I was 14 and about a half, Zuko a little older than 14, but still younger than me.
And…I am overjoyed with gladness. I am saying that sarcastically by the way. Tomorrow is Music Night-I am going to die. As much as I love music and singing, I hate Music Night. It reminds me so much of my parents. My father taught me how to play his violin and my mothe-
Zuko barged into the room, scaring me half to death. I quickly shut the book and hid it on my lap, trying to hide its cover from him. I hated that no one ever knocked. I didn't knock either but still, it would help a lot. He stepped over the stacked music extravagantly, almost as if they would burn his skin if he got near them. "Yes? What do you want?" I asked him; not meaning to have the coldness in my voice-it just came out.
"You know that we're going into the port…you are going to be in charge. Don't allow them off this ship. I don't trust Zhao or his men. They might be plotting." Zuko informed, like if I trusted Zhao and was barely bringing this to my knowledge. I wasn't stupid. I would finally be in control-it never happened and I was ready to seize my chance.
"Ok…sure…thanks. But you do know that the men won't listen to me. They don't like me and they'll just blow me off." I stated matter-of-factly.
"They listen to me." Zuko taunted me daintily. I rolled my eyes lightly.
"Yeah, cause you scare the shit out of them." I mumbled under my breath, inaudible.
"Just give them a reason to listen to you. Don't let them push you around." He stated simply. I hated it when he did that-he wouldn't just tell me what to do, he just gave me the hints. "We'll probably be stuck here a week, make yourself comfortable." He said, then exited, still stepping high over the 'flesh-burning' music. I didn't want the crew to hate me, but it was going to be interesting for me to do this. I picked up my book and resumed where I left off.
…mother taught me to sing. Now, here on the ocean, I wish they were here. It's really hard to be the only female on board. What I would do just for another woman here with me. But, I am a warrior, and I can suck it up. I will never show that I'm weak-I had vowed.
I closed it and reached under and placed it in its home, under my mat. I stood up and walked to my dresser and picked up the case and brought it to my mat. I set it down on my mat and opened the latch. I picked up the violin and the bow. I shut the case and walked out of my room. As soon as I reached the deck, I walked to the farthest tip of the stern where the helmsman couldn't see me. I lifted the violin to my chin and played the first six notes of the song. I eventually lost myself in the melody and the memories of my father playing the exact same song.
For all of you who don't know...I have made this story into a play form of format. It will be in Scenes as chappies and Acts as parts. And Elegies are like prologues and epilogues. I also called the Fire Nation capitol Azon. Cause I read a fic that called it that and I liked it and it stuck. Also, I will give cookies to whoever can guess what six notes Lau plays. It's one of my favorite songs of last year and they are of a pretty famous song, if you like broadway musicals. Well, one last thing...please review. Britt and I would really love to read them and we want to know what you guys think about it. A few words in a review is all it takes, but we would really love long reviews! .
-Rika and Meow
Preview: Scene 2: The Interrogation Begins