You feel like shit when your stepdad never says anything to you unless outs negative and you mom is too afraid to tell him to treat you right and with respect. And you feel like your life is about to end when the police tell you that you have to move away, because the fact that your stepdad is seriously dangerous. Leaving everything and everyone behind. Your social network, the one that you have been building up for almost 3 days has to end within three short days. You are out shopping with two of your best friends when your mom comes, pick you up, and tells you the news as you drive out of the parking lot and you can see the mall disappearing along with your friends in the review mirror. The tears rolling down when you slowly start to pack the most important things as they has been since you drove out of the parking lot 20 minutes ago. You sob as you call your friends to tell them you're moving and they cry as well.
You try to smiles when they ring your doorbell an half hour later. All of you stumbled into your room, get comfy on your bed, all of you with teary eyes. Moreover, the tears start to fall not long after that. They tries to lighten your mood by taking your 2 year old little brothers 'walking-car' on a driving round around the apartment and saying things like "my but is way to huge" when they cant get the car over the door step. You let out a laugh as you try to smile.
The next day is much worse, yesterday was all blurry and you felt like you were living in a nightmare. You and your friends take the bus to school, they are with you for support as you give all of your books to your teacher and walk down the halls for the last time.
Later all 3 of you is at the bus stop again. This time to say goodbye, you know you wont see them the next morning cause you leaving . you try to stay strong, but when they start to cry you cant hold yourself anymore. "we won't say goodbye, cause its not a good bye.. We will see you again later," they tells you as they gives you one last tight hug before stepping on the bus.
You and your family. Mom, little sister and little brother drives for 8 hours before you are outside your new home. The town you grew up in. its weird to be back, you haven't been there for almost 3 years. Just on charismas or other vacations. Cause you dad lives there.
The emergency home is nice, you feel safe, but lonely. Being 8hours away from the town and life you loved so much hurts and eats you up inside..
Time flies by and days becomes weeks and months. You know your stepdad are looking for you. And your friends misses you, but they have their own lifes, and the phone calls from them have almost stopped.
And your little family are falling apart, you and your little sister doesn't talk anymore. And you mom feels so guilty for what your stepdad did to you.
And it doesn't get better when one night when you're fighting with your dad, like you have been doing all the time since you came back to the town you do not like anymore. When he tell you "I don't want anything more to do with you, until you grow up"
Things were going better, until you heard those words. They hits you like a slap in the face, taking your breath away. And you cry, for the first time in months. You let the tears fall like you did last time when you had to say "see you soon" to your bestfriends and the town you loved, only worse this time…
You didn't know what to do, you called to your grandma. And once she heard you were crying she became alert. And even more when you said you were sitting down by the lake alone at 11.04 all alone. "Miley, grandpa is on his way to pick you up now. Just stay where you are".
Writhing is my therapy.
Xoxo Lene.