Okay... You know the drill. I don't own the rights to or fo D, even though I would much like to... Um. Vampire Hunter D is property of Hideyuki Kikuchi, blah blah blah. You get the jist.



This story was produced out of boredom, and of past D&D games. Yes, Ima nerd. Get over it. "Sniffle" leave me alone

D's Left Hand be DM

By- Chaos Galaxia {AKA Jessica Strunk}




Bengi- "How many feats do I get?"

Hand- "Dammit! For the 3rd time Bengi, three!"

Bengi- "But I'm a Nome Ranger! Rangers should get four!"

Hand- "Bengi, you should only get two because you are a nome ranger. Now shut up!"

D- "Do I have to be here?"

Hand- "You're connected to me D."

D- "I could sever you off..."

Hand- "Hey! I agreed to deal w/ that damn Enya Concert, so the least you can do is let me do something I want to do for once!"

D- " Fine."

Rei- "Where's the Mountain Dew? C'n I get a Mountain Dew?"

Hand- "They're in the fridge, Rei. The same place they have always been.

"*Ahem* So you happen upon a ranch. You notice a sign. 'Magical One Use Chickens'. There is a disclaimer that reads 'Shake chickens once at problem and something happens. Results varied, desired results not Guaranteed'. An Igor type creature approaches you and says in a strangely pleasant, well mannered, announcer like voice, "You want a chicken? You shake 'em 'n' something happens"...."

Rei- "Woah- woah, wait. What the hell sorta adventure is this?"

Hand- "Shuddap! My game - My story - My rules!"

Bengi- "I'm sure Shawnshin(1) would love to "shake" a chicken, and make "something" happen."

Lamika- "Ack, this game is stupid, and Kyle is hogging all the Dorritos!"

Kyle- *mouth stuffed w/ Dorrito goodness* "Sergmph umfph! Sufend mikch!"
Laminka- "What - Did - You - Say???"

Rei- "What die do I use to roll for the damage my shoe would cause? I'm gonna chuck it at Billy's(2) head."

*D tries to knock himself unconscious by banging his head on wooden chair*

Hand- "Stop that D, you're embarrassing me! Rei, roll your D20, and see if you hit. Don't worry about a damage roll."

Rei- "20!!!"

Hand- "Critical hit- you manage to beam Billy in the nose, and manage to traumatize him w/ the hiddious stench your shoes."

Rei- "Hey!"

Lamika- "Give me the damn chips, Kyle!"

Bengi- "hee hee heee eh. Sounds about right! Billy says " Fork you, Shawnshin!"

Kyle- "What the...? Bengi, why can't you just say fu-..."

Hand- "Hold it! The author is trying to make a somewhat reader-friendly story here!"

Kyle- "Well, we can say "damn" and "hell"..."

Hand- "I said "somewhat", didn't I?"

Lamika- "Gimme the chips!"

Hand- "Whatever. Anyways. Lamika, Kyle- What are your characters doing?"

Lamika- "I want those Dorritos!"

Rei- "I wouldn't go off about my stench if I were you, nome ranger."

Bengi- "Ohhhhh.... Is the lil' elf getting all pissy?"

Hand- "Kyle, Lamika- What are your characters up to? Ya know? RPG-Role playing. Your characters interacting w/ the plot...."

Lamica- CHIPS!!!!

Rei- "You'll know pissy as there's a magic missile going up your-..."

Kyle- "Get your own bag woman!"

Lamika- "!$@$%^*&(@*&$)+$@#&*=!!!"

D- "AHRRRRAHHHHHHH!"

*D grabs his sword*

D- "You all better get your dice ready, because you are all about do some major rolling for damage!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

The End of this rubbish



(1)Name of Rei's character

(2)Name of Bengi's character

E-mail- jessimyn@hotmail.com