It was a typical night in the heart of Gotham City. Shopkeepers had long since closed their doors and went home to rest their weary heads on their pillows. Outside one of these shops was a pink convertible, seemingly left abandoned.
That is until a buxom, red-haired woman ran out of the jewelry store carrying a large sack. She promptly threw the sack into the back seat and leapt into the driver's seat. Before initiating her get away she looked back towards the door.
"I swear that girl will be late to her own funeral," the redhead said with a roll of her eyes, "Harley! Move your ass!"
A red and black streak ran from the store and leapt into the passenger's seat. The redhead took in the other woman's appearance. Instead of placing her ill gotten gain in a sack, this woman decorated in red and black proudly wore her spoils.
"Gee Red, I always love our girl's night out," Harley said flashing her million dollar smile.
Ivy turned to the road, started up the car and drove off in silence.
-The Next Day in Arkham Asylum-
For one hour everyday the infamous inmates of this equally famous asylum were granted the opportunity to stretch their legs and mingle with one another in the rec room.
Joker stretched out on the couch, "I'll tell you Croc old boy," he said with his signature smile on his face, "It's nice just hanging out with the guys, no women around."
"Yeah it's a real sausage fest in here," Croc responded slumping forward.
Joker peeked an eyebrow in disbelief, "Let's just watch T.V. Croc..." he said with a sigh
"Okay," Croc said with an enthusiastic smile.
At that exact moment Gotham's own Summer Gleeson graced the television screen, "Harley Quinn and Poison Ivy continue their two woman crime spree across Gotham," she said in an emotionless state, "Both Police and the Batman have done little more than provide the villainess duo with mild amusement. Which begs the question, has the city of Gotham found it's new Queens of Crime?"
The Joker's smile dropped from his face as the reporter left the screen, "Croc... buddy..." he said forcing a new smile.
"No way," Croc responded shaking his head emphatically, "What ever plan you got keep me out of it."
"Croc, my dearest friend, you wound me," Joker responded putting his hands over his heart.
"Last time I helped you a great white took a chunk out of my backside," Croc said crossing his arms and sinking into the chair.
"It grew back nicely," Joker said holding both thumbs up in approval.
Croc perked up, "You think?" he asked before shaking his head, "No, my New Year's resolution is to not listen to you guys any more."
"But Croc, its September..." the Joker stated putting a hand on the ex-wrestler's shoulder, "You have such a long way until New Year's..."
"Good point," Croc rubbed his chin, "What's the plan?" he asked with a nod.
The Joker grinned, "I thought you'd never ask."
-That night in the Batcave-
Barbara Gordon sat at the supercomputer in the center of the cave while her young friend Tim Drake trained on the balance beam behind her.
Barbara looked up at the screen as the computer began to hum. Suddenly the image of the Dark Knight came into view.
"Batman, to what do we owe the surprise?" Barbara asked flashing him a smile.
"Have you caught Ivy and Harley yet?" Batman asked in his usual stoic tone.
"We're spread pretty thin as it is," she said in a soft tone.
"I'll be gone on League business longer than expected," he said remaining completely devoid of emotion, "I've asked a friend to help you contain this situation."
"We'd appreciate the help," she said feigning her excitement.
"I'll be home soon," he stated almost betraying his nature.
Barbara closed the channel causing the screen to go black, "That could've gone better," she said with a sigh.
Tim leapt from the balance beam, "Oh! Do you think he got us Superman?" he asked with a large smile on his face.
Barbara shook her head, "I just hope its not the Flash... He can never look me in the eyes," she stated in a huff.
"And what if its Nightwing?" a voice asked from the top of the stairs.
Barbara waved him off, "He cant look me in the eyes either... He and Wally are cut from the same cloth," she said finally noticing the third person in the room.
"Good to know Babs," Dick said with a wink.
"Dick! Oh... Hi?," she asked sheepishly, flashing her best smile.
"Dick," Tim said with a smile, "You're gonna be hanging out with us again?"
Dick smiled at the younger boy, "Sure am," he said descended the stairs in a single bound.
Barbara turned back to the computer, "Just like old times."
-Meanwhile in Arkham-
Killer Croc the beast from East Gotham walked to the front of his cell and crouched down.
"Okay Joker... What's the plan?" Croc asked in a hushed tone.
Croc's question was met by silence but before he could ask his question again a massive explosion ripped apart the back wall of Croc's cell immediately causing the alarms to go off.
Croc was left in shock as the Joker walked through the rubble of the wall that once separated their cells.
The Joker leapt up and landed squarely on Croc's shoulders, "Sometime before the guards show up," he said with a cackle.
And with that, Croc ran towards the opening and dove into the raging water below.
Two guards rushed toward the front of the cell and only caught a glimpse of the Joker before he descended from view.
"This happen often?" the younger guard asked.
The older guard crossed his arms, "Beats the hell out of when Scarecrow tries to escape," he said with a nod.
"Fear toxin?" the younger guard questioned nervously.
"Worse," the older guard said as the younger guard steeled his nerves, "Laxatives in the mess hall."
-On the other side of town-
Harley sat in front of the T.V. eating her sugary cereal while Ivy sat on a barstool reading the newspaper. Ivy would periodically look up from the paper at her friend and glare. She would do this a few more times until she finally got fed up.
Ivy got up, walked to her friend and grabbed the remote in frustration, "If you're going to watch the T.V. so loudly, atleast watch something informative," she said flipping the station to the local news.
Summer Gleeson appeared on screen with Detective Harvey Bullock, "Meanwhile in other news, Killer Croc was found robbing a donut cart until Gotham P.D. brought him down. Detective Bullock was the first on the scene," the reporter stated.
As Bullock came into view, Ivy turned off the television, "Killer Croc... You know him, you love him and you wish he'd invest in mouthwash... Why the spectacle?" she asked tossing the remote on the couch.
"Oh!" Harley exclaimed enthusiastically, "Maybe its mating season for crocodiles?"
Ivy shook her head in disgust, "No... He would've just went to the zoo if he was feeling lonely..." she said laying down on the bed.
"I wonder how the big galutt busted out of Arkham all by himself," Harley said laying down on the bed so that her back was touching Ivy's.
Ivy's eyes snapped open, "You didn't tell that court jester where we were going did you?" she asked shutting her eyes in anticipation.
"Course not, Red," Harley said calmly, "Have ta be some kinda putz to tell him where we are."
"Good, I don't want any surprises," Ivy said as she rolled over and snaked a hand around the other girl's waist.
Harley smiled as she rested her hand on Ivy's, "Besides... Why would I want to ruin a good thing?"