Disclaimer: I don't own CSI:NY. I am not writing for profit. Basically, I am very thankful that CBS allows us to post this on FFN.

Notes: Well, this is a Hawkes/OC thing. It was fun to write. Actually, I write these notes first so I don't really know if it'll be all that fun to write, but I'll just say it was. The title is a song by Carrie Underwood, and it really fits this story, but this isn't a song fic. It just happened to fit :D Unfortunately, this chapter's a bit short compared to what I normally write. Like always, enjoy.

Thanks to Nik Nak 17 for reading and being awesome. She really is awesome.

Unapologize

Chapter 1

"Well, that would look nice in your apartment," Hawkes pointed out a couch near them on their left. Of course, any of the couches in the warehouse would've done fine in her apartment since it was still relatively blank.

Kelly sighed. "Yeah, but that's not why I asked you to come. I need your muscles." She winked at him and kept walking. He quickened his pace to keep up with her.

"I don't get why you couldn't have done this any of the last three years you've lived in that hole you call home," he joked. She gave him a mock glare and walked faster until they reached the sofa she had picked out the last time she came.

He analyzed the situation with the couch. It was a short couch, but it still would take a while to get back to the city even with the truck she borrowed.

He spoke up finally when she folded up the paper and put it into her back pocket. He couldn't help notice this. It was his prerogative as her boyfriend to check out what she was wearing. She turned around and rolled his eyes.

"I would've gotten Danny or Flack to help, but they're workin' so I thought I'd ask you. I mean we are dating after all. I thought you'd volunteer for it," she grinned. Sheldon sighed and walked to the other end of the couch.

"So how should we do it?" he asked.

She laughed. "Well, I was thinkin' we'd get out of here with the couch before we consider that. There are families here. Also, I was hoping that my bedroom would be ready so maybe in there…"

He blushed. "I meant getting the couch into the truck, Kells, you didn't have to go there."

Kelly smiled sheepishly. "How 'bout we take the couch out and put it in the bed of the truck, then we'll get the bed frame?"

"Sounds good to me." He lifted the couch with her and they stumbled over toward the door. "To your left."

She tried to dodge the corner and hit it. Swearing, she looked at Hawkes. "Thanks for the warning." He shook his head before directing her around another corner.

The two sat in the truck on the way back into the city. The radio had been turn down much to Kelly's dismay, and they sat in silence. Sheldon had his hand on her shoulder as he drove back into the city.

"Sheldon, I hate when you do that. Just drive. I'm not going anywhere."

He shrugged. They came to a sharp turn where he returned both hands to the wheel to navigate safely through the fallen leaves.

She sighed. "See?"

He ignored her and changed the subject. "So what're you doing for Thanksgiving?"

Kelly drummed her fingers on the window before answering. "Well, I was thinking I'd go down to Atlantic City and blow through my last paycheck."

"You're not serious, are you?" Hawkes frowned at her.

She laughed. "If I don't get a better offer…"

"You have one."

"I do?"

"Me."

"Oh," she paused for a moment, frowning. It wasn't that she didn't want to spend Thanksgiving with him, but she thought he already had plans. "I thought you were spending it with your parents." Her disappointment drenched every word she said. He tried to ignore it.

"Only Wednesday. Thursday, I'm home."

"Any reason in particular?"

"They're going on vacation," he told her grimly. He sounded upset about not spending Thanksgiving with his family.

She continued frowning. "Well, I don't know. I could be busy that day."

"In Atlantic City?" Sheldon laughed. She gave him a strange look as if she had first met him. Of course, she had been joking when she said she could be busy that day, but she didn't like being his second choice.

"Yeah, well it was my first choice and all."

He kept the pace with the car as large drops fell down on it. An early November rain wasn't exactly common, but it had been known to happen.

"What's that about?"

She rolled her eyes. "It wasn't exactly your first choice to spend Thanksgiving with me was it?"

He groaned, not looking forward to the fight that would happen. "I just want to know if you want to spend Thanksgiving with me. I would've asked if you wanted to come with me to my parents' house if they weren't on Thanksgiving anyway."

"Oh? Really?" She asked, actually surprised with this answer. Any accusation in her voice was gone.

He nodded.

"I guess I overreacted a little," she gave a meek smile as she blushed.

Sheldon laughed. "A little? You were about to rip me limb from limb." She hit his arm playfully. He shook his head in mock disdain.

He watched her dig for her keys and groaned. She was attempting to balance the couch and bed frame (still in its box) in one hand while he carried the other side. The bed frame happened to be closer to his side so it was definitely heavier than hers. "Hurry up."

"Found 'em!" She waved them in the air before putting them in the lock and opening the door. They surged through the door quickly.

Hawkes nursed his hand, which had gotten cut when setting the couch on the ground. "Ow, that hurt." He shook it off.

"What?"

"The couch is sharp on the bottom. Where're your band-aids?" he asked sheepishly.

She thought for second. "Cabinet by the fridge." He quickly found one and stuck it on his hand.

Kelly walked over and took the bed frame and the cover off the couch to reveal a beat down leather that had seen better days.

Hawkes walked over to it and frowned. "I can't believe you got this couch. It looks like it's about to fall apart."

"Nah, I checked," she plopped down on the couch. "It's so comfortable." He rolled his eyes.

He crossed his arms over his chest. "That is a safety hazard."

"Yeah, and that's why it matches the rest of this apartment," she laughed. "Now, please help me with the bed frame."

He followed obediently, helping her carry the box with the small metal frame in it. She opened the box slowly once they got into her bedroom. The room was almost empty with the exception of a box spring and a mattress on it. Dark red sheets clung to it and a cream comforter was folded at the end of the bed.

Hawkes pondered the situation for a second. "Let's move the bed first then set up the frame. It'll be easier."

The next five minutes were spent by them moving the mattress and box spring into a corner. After they finished setting up the frame and putting the mattress and box spring onto the frame (although not in that order), they sat on the edge of the bed.

"Well, we had a productive day," she smiled at him.

"Beats work."

"Yes, it does."

They fell into an uncomfortable silence. Neither knew what to say, but both knew that the other wanted to say something.

Hawkes broke the silence first. "So do you want to spend Thanksgiving with me?"

She pretended to think for a second. "'Course I do."

"Well, that settles one thing."

"What's the other thing?"

He smiled. "We ought to celebrate a job well done, and they do say that one must lie in the bed one's made."

He cupped her face and kissed her. She could feel the band-aid on his hand, and she tried to blink away the horror of what it could've been. Especially since he used one of her larger band-aids.

"I don't think that's what the saying means," she laughed through the kisses.

He stopped. "I know, but it made you laugh."

Kelly kept grinning. It was always fun to banter with him. "Yes, well, you are funny. I guess it's 'cause you hang out with me so much."

He frowned. "I was funny before I met you. And to be honest, I think you're sounding more like me than I sound like you."

She kissed him softly before mumbling something against his lips that sounded a lot like "I love you." She must've thought so because she backed up and covered up her mouth with both hands right after saying it.

He tensed up.

"I am so sorry!" She blurted out faster than she had told him she loved him. He stood up, shaking his head in disbelief. "I-I... uhh… I didn't mean it!" She knew it was too late though. He had heard her. He wasn't stupid. He knew what she meant, and he knew she was lying right now.

Hawkes stuttered, not knowing what to say to her. "I-I… uhh… thanks?"

Then the unthinkable happened. She started laughing so hard she was doubled over in hysterics.

He frowned. "You weren't joking were you? 'Cause if you were, that's just mean, Kells."

She slapped her knee to get herself to calm down and sit up as she tried desperately tried to control her breathing. "No, I'm completely serious. It's just that I heard myself, and I sounded so freakin' stupid. I mean we've been dating for three-three and a half months-ish, and it's not really been serious, but there I go telling you that I love you."

He walked to the door slowly, trying to process everything. "I…" he trailed off, lost in thought. "I gotta go. I have to think about some things." He fingered the doorknob and turned it without waiting for her answer.

She sat in utter disbelief. Not at his response. She was truly surprised that he hadn't left earlier. She was surprised that he had stayed that long.

Lying back on her bed, she stared at the ceiling, hoping when she woke up that this would all be a dream. It would be an awful dream, but at least it would be a dream. Anything would be better than this nightmare.

Hawkes dialed the first number on his speed dial that had nothing to do with work. He braced himself for a long conversation with his best friend from college.

"Hey, man," he said when his friend Josh finally answered the phone. "I need some advice…"

A/N: What do you think? Is it good? Is it bad? Am I out of my mind? Please review. I love knowing what y'all think. Have a brilliant day.