(story takes place throughout Prime Mover!)
by Macx
(Ezra's rambling 'statistic' was taken from the Question&Answer
page of Minotaur's site, a website every slash writer should visit! VERY
helpful! It's at: http://www.squidge.org/~minotaur/classic/eroc.html)
It was one of the usual team gatherings at the end of a successful mission.
It had been a smaller case, an operation that involved two other teams
as well, but the result had been the same: success. Celebrations had been
going on since the early afternoon, and by now everyone but Buck, Ezra
and Chris had left.
Buck had been his good-natured, boisterous self throughout the whole
time, but the moment the three Agents were alone, his whole demeanor seemed
to change. Ezra had watched him closely the last half hour and the signs
were pretty clear. Buck was talking about everything and nothing, played
with the crackers and pretzels, as well as with his glass.
He seems to be preoccupied> Ezra remarked to Chris.
I know. That's Buck when he wants to talk about something>
About what?>
No idea> his partner confessed Ask?>
Ezra shot him a look that was mixture of disbelief and mock shock.
Remember the last few times we asked him something?>
Chris grimaced. Half his beer had ended up sprayed over the table each
time. Buck had this knack to ask questions or make statements out of the
blue that floored Larabee.
Well, we probably have to ask because otherwise he won't spill
it> he sighed. Buck's rather mule-headed sometimes>
Sometimes?>
A snort. Okay, mostly>
You ask> Ezra decided.
Why me?>
Seniority>
That earned him a glare. Seniority!? Seniority my ass!>
And such a nice one it is> Ezra sent a leer and Chris nearly inhaled
the cracker the wrong way.
"Buck?" he asked out loud.
"Hm?"
"You wanna spill it before you choke on it?"
Wilmington gave Chris a confused look, but there was a hint of panic,
Ezra noted.
Definitely something> Larabee remarked.
Women trouble?>
Nah. That usually comes out different. Trust me> Chris had known
Buck long enough to know what women trouble looked like with Wilmington.
It couldn't be work related either.
Let me try it> Ezra said.
Chris shot him a dubious look. Okay>
Ezra folded his hands and smiled at the older man. "So, Buck, you went
and tried it out?"
Buck, who had just been about to take a sip of his beer, sprayed most
of it over the desk.
Chris's grin was only visible over the Bond between the two soul partners.
Revenge!> he declared.
"What?! Try what?" Buck coughed, grabbing a napkin and wiping his mouth.
He then proceeded to give special attention to the droplets on the worn
table top.
Ezra smiled devilishly. Bull's eye!>
Uh, yes. Errr.. with what?> Chris wanted to know, confusion leaking
along the connection.
The thief gave him an exasperated look. Chri-is! Remember the last
time we sat here>
Yeah, sure>
So?>
Silence.
You are thick tonight! We talked about a certain topic….?>
A certain topic? What certain topi….. oh my gawd! You mean he…?!>
Ezra shot him a boyish grin. Yep>
Hellfire! No, it can't be!>
Just look at him!>
Buck's … blushing….?> Chris stared at his oldest friend.
He is> Ezra confirmed.
Hell, last time I saw Buck blush was back at the academy when he
washed a red bra with his underwear. Turned out all pink>
Standish had to laugh at the image of Buck Wilmington in pink underwear,
standing in front of his sergeant, trying to explain how a red women's
bra had made it into his laundry.
"So, Buck, you did it?" he asked out loud, his face not revealing anything
of the silent conversation with Chris.
"Well, I….err… you see… kinda," Buck stammered.
"Kinda?" Ezra echoed. "Either you did or you didn't. There's no 'kinda'.
You of all people should know that."
Buck shot him a dark look, which Ezra answered with an amused, dimpled
smile.
Chris gave him an inquiring look. "So you slept with a man?" he clarified.
Buck nodded silently.
"Please don't tell me you went to one of those bars!"
His friend evaded his eyes and there was a chagrined expression on
his features.
"Shit, Buck!" Chris couldn't believe it. "Did you pay for it?"
"No!" Buck exclaimed.
"Why did you do it?" Chris wanted to know.
You have to ask?> Ezra sent.
What?>
You know why, Chris. Because of us>
Chris was a bit perplexed. Because of… Why because of us?>
Remember our last conversation concerning this? You wanted his
acceptance. Now you got it> Ezra sounded rather calm and matter-of-fact.
He didn't have to go overboard with it!>
Well, Commander Larabee, you described your friend as the experimental
type!>
I wasn't aware he was that experimental!> Chris snapped.
Would you rather have him come to us with that request?> Ezra asked
reasonably. I wasn't aware you were into threesomes… or sharing>
Ezra!>
Ye-es?> A teasing smile accompanied the long-drawn word.
Shut up!>
"I was kinda curious…." Buck said and pulled them back to the reality
around them.
Chris's eyes narrowed and there was a frown on his face. "Not good
enough, pard. Curiosity is no reason! You asked me what's it like to be
a Kiowata, but you weren't ready to go through a change because of it!"
Buck studied his folded hands. "That's not the same."
"The hell it is! I can see no difference!" Larabee tried to keep his
voice down. With the music and the loud cheers from the patrons around
the bar, that wasn't a problem. Two other Agency teams were currently battling
it out in a game of pool.
"Chris… you don't understand…." Buck started.
"No, I don't!" Chris interrupted. "But I want to. Buck, why?"
"Why do you, of all people, have to ask me that?" Buck fired back.
Chris was close to exploding. "What's this got to do with me? You want
to tell me because me and Ezra are together, you have to try it out as
well?"
Chris, calm down….> Ezra said softly. He had kept out of the confrontation,
just watching the two men. He felt Chris's anger, an anger that had no
real direction yet. His partner was simply infuriated, unable to lash out
at a specific target, and so he tried to bite Buck's head off.
Hell no! Didn't you hear what he just said?> Chris demanded.
Of course I heard what he just said, but you didn't, Chris. You
aren't listening>
A Larabee Glare was directed at him. It didn't faze Ezra the least.
"Buck, why did you go into this establishment?" the thief asked out
loud, taking over the reigns again to try and swing this confrontation
back around again.
"Couldn't really ask you two," Buck quipped weakly.
The joke fell short with his team leader. Chris was close to strangling
his friend. "There are other ways!"
"Name one!" the other Agent challenged.
Chris opened his mouth, then shut it again, hesitating. "Ah," he managed.
"Well…. errrr….."
Gotcha there> Ezra laughed.
Shut up!>
Ezra turned his attention back to the dark-haired man. "What Chris
wants to say is, Buck, it was dangerous. Do you know what could have happened
if someone had found out who you are?"
Buck blushed and was suddenly very interested in the table top again.
Ezra felt the volcano that was Larabee starting to steam again. "You
didn't wear your uniform….?" Chris groaned.
The silence was answer enough.
He did!>
Chris, think of your blood pressure> Ezra advised.
To hell with it!>
Okay, you explain it to Nathan when you have your physical>
"Okay." Chris took a deep breath, trying to calm down. "Buck, what
happened?" he asked reasonably.
"You mean before the third offer or after?"
Chris's jaw nearly hit the table. Third offer….?> he squeaked.
Not just a ladies' man, hm?> Ezra teased. Then again, he isn't
such a bad looking guy either, don't you think?> There was a speculative
tone in his mind-voice.
Chris's attention snapped around. What?!>
Well, he is!>
Ezra, shut up!>
Yes, sir!> The thief almost saluted.
It made him the target of another Glare.
Buck twisted the glass around on the table. "Well, I met this guy,"
he finally confessed. "We hit off right away."
"So you got picked up?" Chris asked matter-of-factly.
"No! Wasn't like that."
"You picked him up."
"No!" was the vehement denial and something flashed in the dark eyes.
"Okay, so you two met, you kinda agreed on spending the night together,
and….?" Chris left the sentence unfinished and casually played with some
crackers.
"Then we went to my quarters."
Chris pulverized the crackers, a vein starting to throb at his neck.
Ezra nearly slid under the table, laughing. If he didn't know Chris as
he did, he might just be intimidated by Commander Chris Larabee. The expression
in those hazel eyes could be downright frightening, but no Larabee Glare
had ever made the thief back down. Ezra Standish knew who Chris was, knew
he more intimately than anyone could ever hope to, so currently, he was
amused close to hysterical laughter by his lover's reactions.
"Your quarters?" Chris asked slowly. "You took a total stranger, probably
a hustler, to your quarters? Are you out of your mind?" His voice had risen
with each word.
"He isn't a hustler!" Buck hissed, a fire flashing in his eyes that
was more than a warning to back off. It was a declaration of war if Chris
decided to call the man he had slept with something even worse.
Whoa. Now that's interesting> Ezra remarked, intrigued.
Chris blinked, equally surprised. "Okay…. So?"
"So what?" Buck wanted to know, a suspicious look in his eyes.
"What's your impression…?"
The suspicion turned to complete confusion.
"He wants to know if you liked it, Buck," Ezra translated, taking pity.
Buck blushed again.
I think we should take that as a yes> Ezra stated merrily.
You think he went all the way?> Chris wanted to know, dread in
his voice.
Only one way to find out>
I'm not going to ask!>
Chicken!> Ezra laughed.
Ezra?>
Yes, Chris?> was the light reply.
Shut up!>
"So you went all the way?" Ezra asked out loud.
Chris shot him a murderous look, followed by a bemused one from Buck.
Then it dawned on him.
"All the… no! No, no, no! Not all the way!" he violently denied.
Chris dared to breathe again. Thank god!>
"Why?" Ezra prodded.
Buck stared at him. "Why?"
"You wanted to know what's it like. Why not go all the way?"
Chris's glare intensified, but Ezra just shot him a bright smile.
"Both of us agreed I wasn't really ready for it," Buck explained softly.
"Both of you….?"
"Yes."
Chris was confused, but he bit down on the next question that rose
in his mind. Instead he turned to his partner. You think he's going
to repeat it? I mean he liked it!>
Well, only one way to find out….> Ezra laughed.
Ezra, no!>
But Ezra had already posed the question, which had Buck clearing his
throat in embarrassment. Chris nearly dropped his head in his hands. Incorrigible!
The man was incorrigible! A mischievous expression crossed the handsome
features and Chris sighed deeply.
"Okay, I think that answers that!" the thief declared happily.
Remind me why I put up with you?> Larabee groaned.
Because I'm such a loveable, restrained and sensitive man?>
Chris stared at him in disbelief. Restrained? You?>
Oh well, maybe just loveable and sensitive?> Ezra replied hopefully,
a grin on his features.
Don't know about that either>
Buck was watching the silent pair with growing trepidation. He didn't
like the expressions flitting over the two faces at all. He knew they were
using the Bond, which he found highly unfair, but he didn't dare to ask
anyway.
"Uh, guys….." he tried.
"Yes, Buck?" Ezra smiled at him, totally at ease.
"Are you… well, are you okay with that?"
"With you sleeping with a man? Heck, Buck, you are grown up. You make
your own decisions. I'm just asking you to be careful, is all," Chris answered,
his voice very serious.
Buck nodded. "I will be. Believe me, I will be."
It was all there was to say at the moment.
*
Chris was pacing through the living room like a caged tiger, repeatedly
running his hand through his already tousled, blond hair. Ezra sat on the
couch, watching his partner with amusement.
"I don't believe it! I just don't believe it!" Chris muttered, repeating
it over and over again.
"Chris, sit down, you're making me dizzy."
Chris ignored him, still moving. "Can you believe it? Buck… with another
man!" More pacing.
"Actually, I can," Ezra stated calmly.
"Hell, he never showed tendencies like that before…. What?" Chris whirled
around and stared at his partner.
"I said, yes, I can."
"Why?" Larabee stuttered.
"Chris, sexuality isn't binary. Most people aren't either straight
or gay, they're somewhere in between. I found this interesting article
in the archives while browsing." Ezra shrugged. "There's a study of human
sexuality done by a Dr. Kinsey, in which he rated people on a scale from
0 to 6 - with 0 being completely heterosexual, no thoughts, dreams, desires
or experiences with members of the same gender, and 6 being completely
homosexual, no thoughts, dreams, desires or experiences with the opposite
gender. They found that only about 6% of the population fell at either
end of this scale - everyone else lay somewhere in between."
Chris stared at him. "This is Buck we're talking about!" he finally
exclaimed. "The man who knows at least ten women at every space port and
makes new acquaintances every time he visits!"
"And you are the man who was married to a woman for eight years and
had a kid," Ezra shot back.
"That's not the same!" Chris argued vehemently.
"Oh?"
"We have the Bond….!"
One eyebrow rose. "So?"
"The Bond brought us together!" Chris declared.
Ezra studied his agitated partner, noticed the tension in the lean
frame. He knew he was about to blow him right out of the water, but he
needed Chris to realize something that was probably subconsciously already
there.
"Remember Vin's explanation of soul bonds?" he asked calmly. "A soul
bond is a close connection between two people, but it doesn't necessarily
mean a physical relationship."
Chris stopped in his pacing and stared at Ezra, eyes wide. Realization
dawned; slowly.
"Even if the first time was the Bond," Ezra went on, "even if it was
something we were driven to do because of who what we are, Borderlines,
we weren't forced to repeat the experience, Chris. We did that freely.
And," he lowered his voice, "some aspects of our 'physical relationship'
are not exactly related to the closeness we have through the Bond."
He opened the Bond slightly and let a few select images leak. Realization
hit Chris like a sledge hammer. He swallowed.
"Oh damn," he whispered.
Ezra decided to use his last shot. "Chris. You love me," he said softly.
"I…."
You do>
Wide, hazel eyes met green ones, seeing the truth there, feeling it
himself. I do…> Chris whispered.
He sounded like he was in a complete state of shock.
And so do I> Ezra told him gently. It's not just the Bond.
It brought us together and tore down some walls that would have stopped
us otherwise. We decided to take the next step. If the emotions hadn't
been there, we would have stopped after the first time. Or we would 'perform'
this necessary act once in a while because the Bond would hurt otherwise.
But we aren't, Chris. There's a lot more to it>
Chris nodded slowly, sinking down on the couch as well. He ran a hand
through his hair again. I never realized…. I didn't… >
You did. Just never consciously> Ezra told him.
Chris drew a deep breath.
"So it's possible for Buck to become… let's say experimental, and try
out sleeping with a man," the thief went on out loud.
"It's just hard to wrap my mind around it, Ezra."
"You don't have to wrap your mind around it. Just do what you asked
of Buck some time ago. Accept it. Be a friend."
Chris sighed explosively. "Okay, earned that." He smiled wryly. "I'll
try to be better at this."
"No one's asking more of you."
Suddenly Chris's head came up and he fixed an intense gaze on Ezra.
"Did you just tell me you loved me?"
They had never said it out loud. Never. There had never been the need
either. Now that he thought about it, he had always known it some way or
the other.
Ezra's dimpled grin appeared. "Did I say that? You must have misheard
me, Commander Larabee. How can a lovable, restrained, and sensitive man
like me fall in love with a mean, old, and ill-tempered person like yourself?"
Chris's expression turned feral. "Old? I'll show you old!" He launched
himself at Ezra, wrestling him to the couch. They lost their balance and
slid to the floor, where Chris pinned the smaller man down, wrists left
and right of his head. "And mean!" he breathed devilishly.
Ezra groaned as his partner sent a few very tantalizing images over
the Bond. Oh hell, he was in for it now…..
* * *
Buck walked back into his quarters, his head spinning. And not because
of the beers he had had. He had wanted to talk to Chris and Ezra, the two
people he trusted the most in the newly developing matter at hand, and
talk he had. Not like he had believed he would, but he had spilled the
truth. Chris's reaction had been something he had almost suspected. Ezra
had been much calmer, lighter, and he had been the mediator between the
two old friends.
As he closed the door behind himself, he became aware of someone else
in his quarters. Vin sat on the couch, socked feet stretched out over the
cushions, watching TV. He had left early with the others and despite Buck's
wish to just go as well, have some fun with his new lover, he had sat back
and listened to his instinct to talk to his friends.
"Hey," Vin greeted him, smiling lazily.
"Hey."
Vin frowned at the muted reply. "What's wrong?"
"Nothing's really wrong." Buck ran a hand through his hair and sat
down on the couch chair opposite Vin. "I kinda talked to Chris and Ezra."
Vin sat up, his whole demeanor suddenly very serious.
"I told them."
"About us?" was the quiet question.
"No." Buck shook his head. "About me. No names."
"Why?"
Wilmington gazed into those fascinating blue eyes. "Why no names? Heck,
Vin, this is between you and me. Why talk at all? I'm not sure. I just
needed someone to talk to. Someone I could trust."
Vin leaned back, nodding slowly. "Okay."
"Okay? You mean you aren't mad?"
"Why should I be?" A lop-sided smile. "I told you I didn't mind them
knowing. I just wasn't prepared, is all."
"Thanks, Vin."
"Nothing to thank me for. I guess it's better this way." Vin smiled.
"Sometimes, secrets are made to be told to special people."
Buck looked relieved and Vin couldn't help it, he walked over to the
couch chair and gave his lover a soft kiss.
on to Office Talk