Disclaimer: don't own it. You know what I mean by 'it'. I know you do. Don't lie. I know you do. You know that I know that you know what I mean.
This is a one shot. Don't ask me why I write such odd things, I have an odd mind. And I think its more of a blessing than a curse. Very short.
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Ensnared
Blood was smeared everywhere. I could feel it on my hands. Absolutely chilling. I was slowly dying. It possessed me and I could nothing but watch in my minds own prison, god, I feel so helpless. I wish I could break free... just one more time... Just so I could look upon the world, feel the breeze and flex my own fingers instead of watching the same re-run on my television of a man who'd lost his body, then having to watch himself do things that he never did.
I had first seen it in the Nibel Reactor; that was when the cackling had burst into my brain's domain. Conquering every corner of it. Soon, I could nothing but stare in hopeless fear as it took my body and made me do things. So many horrible things.
Splotches of colors were painting vague pictures in front of me. A blonde boy... he had potential. I wonder if I'll ever see him again... Also, a man with black hair, Zack, I remember Zack. I recall his humorous present clearly. It was one of the few things I recollect to details instead of blobs of faces and voices.
The eerie solitude I was experiencing made me want to hurt someone. Hurt the one causing me pain. In my lifetime, I had lost very few matches... physical battles at least, but how do you fight yourself?
Hojo, I had learned to despise the bastard. He was my father, my creator, and yet the sound of his name, the sight of his face breaks me. I hated him with such passion I felt as if I'd burst. I found myself coming close to gauging out his eyes on several occasions. Then he'd mention how disappointed my mother would be in me. I was always told my mother was JENOVA but I never met her, neither had I ever heard such a unique name. Now I wish I never had heard it in the first place.
For the longest time in my memory, I had dreamt of my mother, hoping she was nothing like Hojo. Wishing she would be a lovely woman, simply angelic. Kindhearted and wise like a kindling spirit. How wrong I was.
The moment I had met it, the second its truth was revealed, it trapped me. Can somebody free me? Can anyone save me? Can somebody, for the love of god, just kill me?! Please. To regain life meant nothing. I finally know what my supposed mother was, plus what use was it to stay and face Hojo? Didn't I deserve some kind of simple release? I know of the Promise Land, it was all Hojo spoke about. Hehe. Too bad he never managed to reach there himself. Maybe... I could go there...
I lay here now, dead but alive. Breathing yet suffocating. Ugly though beautiful. Wise however naïve. I'm here now, watching the world witness my wrath but trapped and immobile. How had this happened? How had my life become an unjustly project, something so minute that was part of a huge master plan? Every step, perfectly planned, to lead me to insanity. No. That's what everyone says but it cradled no truth.
"You're crazy!" Right before my blade would dive into them. I was not crazy though. I was simply trapped in my body with an alien force controlling it... maybe I was dotty. JENOVA, I hate you. I hate Hojo. How could the world do this to me? It was not my choice to be born. I was forced into this world, now I was ensnared in its web of hatred. Most of it was directed at me for sins I had not committed. Somebody release me. Please.