Natasha got out of the stuffy airport in Budapest to see her friend and assigned-partner for this mission, Clint, nearly fall over.
"What are you doing?" she sighed.
"I was trying to check out that girl's fine-" Clint stopped and looked at Natasha. "Check out that girl's fine car."
"So you weren't checking out her ass?"
"No."
Natasha rolled her eyes and got into the sports car she'd made Fury hire. Clint slid into the passenger seat after putting the suitcases into the back.
The car zoomed down the road at 70mph, defying several traffic rules. Natasha swerved round a corner and Clint held onto the door handle, yelling in excitement. "This is awesome!" he cried and then Natasha braked heavily and slid into a parking space.
"We're at the hotel." Natasha told him and got out. A man lugged their suitcases into the reception and they followed, smiling.
"Good service here." Clint said, looking at the receptionist admirably. "Hi I'm Clint Barton and this is my partner Natasha Romanoff."
"Partner?" the receptionist said. "I thought you requested separate rooms?"
"We did." Natasha said with a frown.
"Well we'd better upgrade you." she said cheerfully and handed Clint a key to Room 801. "Top floor." she said.
"Woah. Awesome!" Clint grinned and the pair got into the elevator. "We got upgraded. Floor 8."
"I suppose it's all on SHIELD's account and they can afford it." Natasha allowed herself a smile. "Besides we still have our business accounts. I need some swimwear."
"Why?"
"There's a pool."
"Ah! Skimpy bikinis, huh?"
"A swimming costume, not a bikini."
"Spoilsport." Clint stuck his tongue out and they landed on the eighth floor with the smooth opening of the doors.
...
Natasha was sulking. They had two double beds in two rooms in the same mini apartment which was okay but she requested separate apartments. She had to share a bathroom with Clint and a kitchen. Clint had already stocked the fridge with beer and broken the microwave.
Now they were consulting their map of Budapest to find the location of the gang they were tracking down. The leader sold drugs and there was a lot of violence and arms-dealing. It didn't help that each one of the Budapest gang owned a Stark Industries gun. They were the really good ones.
Natasha had put on a pair of shorts and a white cropped vest that showed off her tanned stomach and Clint was wearing blue surfer shorts and a white shirt with sandals. Natasha resented the fact they almost matched.
"Where's our car?" Natasha asked him.
"Can't drive that. They'll hear us coming from a mile away and with your driving..."
"How are we getting there then?"
Clint raised an eyebrow and smiled.
Ten minutes later, Natasha was cycling on a double bike. Clint was in front of her, taking every moment possible to cycle like a maniac and almost crash. "This is fun." Clint called back to her.
"No it's not. I hate it. We look like a couple."
"Exactly. Fun." Clint braked in front of a park and got off. Once Natasha had gotten off and grabbed her bag (gun, map, passport, small bow and arrows for Clint, SHIELD badge and a roll of bandages), he tied it to a bike rack. "Come on, let's go. The warehouse is down there."
The pair walked down the murkiest darkest alleyway in Budapest and stopped in front of a door. Natasha looked around then kicked the door in. Clint walked in, holding his gun, as if an hour before he hadn't been swigging beer and jumping on his bed.
"Freeze!" he yelled as Natasha ran in the room. The gang-master laughed at him. "Hey, that's hurtful."
"Hawkeye I presume?"
Clint yelled a battle cry, wrenched the bag off Natasha and got out his bow and arrows. He pointed them at the leader, Salvador. Salvador fell deadly silent. "You presumed correct." Clint said.
Natasha sighed. She knew Clint was going to boast about that move and line for hours after this. She loved him (as a friend) but he was so annoying. At that moment, he turned round to look at her. "Did you see me then?"
"Clint." she said in warning but Salvador grabbed his bow and snapped it. Then someone got her in a headlock and made her drop the gun. they released her and she gasped for air, glaring at Clint. "Well done, genius." she panted.
"Sorry." he said sheepishly.
...
Clint looked at his partner. "Hey, Nat? You awake?"
"Yes. It's only 2pm."
"Really? It feels like we've been in here days."
"Great."
"My throat's sore."
"Stop talking then."
"I'm really hot, should I take some clothes off?"
"No. You can't anyway with your hands tied."
"Nat, open your eyes."
Natasha opened her eyes and saw Clint dangling over her from a rope on the ceiling. "Oh good have you hung yourself?"
"You'd miss me really. I'm Hawkeye, I can get out of any ropes."
"Great, Clint. So you're not hanging yourself? If not, get me out." Natasha said and Clint landed lightly by her and undid her rope handcuffs. Natasha stretched and undid her leg ones. "What shall we do now then?"
Clint smirked. "Cue the fight scene."
...
Natasha slowly opened the prison door and wrapped her arm round the guard's neck. He struggled to breathe for a bit then collapsed unconscious. "Come on." she whispered and Clint ran out, holding a chair leg.
"Do you have any string?"
"Uh no."
"Can I borrow some hair?" Clint asked. "I'm trying to make a bow."
"You have no arrows."
"Oh yeah." Clint dropped the chair leg and Natasha picked it back up.
"Use that as a weapon."
"Okay."
They crept down the corridor and into the main warehouse room where Salvador was talking to about ten men. "You take five, I take five, do Salvador together." Clint suggested.
"Yep."
Natasha charged into her five and kicked one in the head, sending him into the other. They both collapsed onto the floor and she did some karate moves on the other three.
Meanwhile, Clint kicked one man, slapped another and sent three into the wall by well-landed punches and kicks.
They both finished at the same time and turned to Salvador. He had a machine gun aimed at them.
Clint groaned. "Oh hell."
Salvador opened fire and Clint pushed Natasha to the ground and slid them both behind a stack of wood.
"We'll wait it out." Clint told her then a bullet whizzed by his ear. "Ahh!"
"He can move, Clint!" Natasha yelled and ran behind a metal container. Clint leapt onto the wood stack and tried to jump on Salvador's head. It didn't work and he landed on the floor, only managing to give Salvador's leg a feeble kick. As Salvador turned his gun on Clint, Natasha ran forward and kicked the gun out of his hands and it flew across the room to land with a bang on the now conscious guard. The guard collapsed again.
Clint whooped.
Salvador looked at them and grinned. "You two make a cute couple."
"What?" Natasha snapped.
"You two. Make. A cute. Couple." Salvador repeated slowly. Natasha, in a fit of anger, slapped him and punched him in the ribs.
"We are NOT a couple!" she yelled furiously.
...
Clint waited by the bathroom door and Natasha walked out, a towel wrapped round her. "What?"
"You got pretty angry when someone merely suggested that we were a couple. Sure you're not harbouring some feelings there? I'd hate for that to effect our friendship." Clint said and followed her to the kitchen. She got out a banana and peeled it.
The peel fell on the floor but she didn't notice as Clint was staring at her. "What are you staring at?"
"You look nice with your hair wet."
"Thanks?"
"You always look beautiful anyway." Clint blushed and stepped forward.
Natasha swore it happened in slow motion. Clint stepped forward, lips pursed for kissing, and he had a panicked look. He slipped and grabbed her towel as a last attempt to get upright then fell onto the floor, yelping.
Natasha laughed and laughed and laughed, doubled over. "You just slipped on a...on a banana peel!" Natasha giggled.
Clint glared at her. "I hate you."
"You slipped on a BANANA PEEL!" she was in fits of laughter, watching her friend scowl on the floor. "Why did you grab my towel? Oh my God, that was hilarious."
"I thought you were naked underneath. I was trying to see your body before I died." Clint frowned. "Who puts on underwear in the bathroom?"
"The people who think that their partner will steal their towel." Natasha said. Then laughed.
"I hate you!"
"You know that they have security cameras in...in every single room." Natasha grinned.
"What?"
"Yep. You just got filmed slipping on banana peel in HD."
"Please make them delete it."
"You slipped on a banana peel!"
Two days later back on the SHIELD airship...
"Good work, agents." Fury said.
"Thanks, sir." Natasha smirked. Banana peel. She laughed. Clint glared at her.
"I hate you." he muttered.
"Barton, can I have a word?" Fury asked, a small smile forming. He tapped the screen and a CCTV shot appeared on every screen on the aircraft.
Natasha eating her banana, Clint leaning in for a kiss and then...everyone watching cracked up.
"Barton you are the only person in real life to have slipped on an actual banana peel." Fury said between bursts of laughter.
"Natasha!" Clint shouted and Natasha looked at him, tears of laughter streaming down her face, "You promised! What happens in Budapest..."
"Don't be a drama queen. Sorry banana queen."
I bet some of you thought that this would turn out to be a Clintasha. No such luck. Sorry.