Henrik had no idea why he had allowed Sara to talk him into attending a masquerade ball with her, but he knew that they both needed a spot of happiness after everything that they had been through in the last few months. Coming home to Sweden had been the last thing that he had ever seen himself doing, but when Oskar had fallen ill whilst visiting him, he knew that it was time to take a break from Holby and all the ghosts that resided there. Adjusting the mask on his face, he took a deep breath and squared his shoulders, trying to shake off the hell of the last two and a half years of his life. It was the end of October, after all, a time for death and rebirth.
Striding over to the refreshment table, he picked up a flute of champagne and sipped at it, looking out across the room to see who all were assembled. The addition of masks surprisingly obscured faces that he thought should have been familiar, and he wondered if he had the same sense of anonymity. Given his normally rigid posture, he assumed that that was not the case, and he let out a deep sigh as he took another sip of champagne. The dancing couples, with their happy smiles and the sweet looks of love, only served to remind him of Roxanna, and he let out a deep sigh as he turned back to the refreshments table, picking up a small plate of canapés and drifted over to a corner in the room, wanting to blend in with the crowd so as to be able to people watch and try to enjoy himself.
As he finished off the finger foods and champagne, Henrik found his gaze drawn towards the entrance as a willowy woman with pastel pink hair fairly floated into the room. Her dress was a light lilac and seafoam green affair, seemingly made of a hundred layers of tulle, and he found himself drawn in by the aura of serenity that surrounded her. Unconsciously, he took a few steps towards her, only to freeze when their eyes met. There was something familiar about the blue of her irises, and Henrik felt his heart leap up into his throat as the wave of familiarity washed over his entire body. A tiny smile spread across the stranger's lips, and Henrik felt all the tension bleed from his body as he continued his march forward. "Any stranger that I choose, that's what Sara said. Any stranger that will help me to get over the despair and depression that dogs my days," he whispered, taking his eyes off the mystery woman for only a few seconds. When he looked for her once more, she had disappeared into the crowd, and he felt his heart sink.
"I believe that you're looking for me?"
Turning, he nodded, breathing in the delicate scent of her perfume. It was familiar to him as well, and he shook his head at the whispered thought that Roxanna had worn perfume like that at Rigden. "I am," he finally responded, holding out his hand. She clasped it tightly, the small smile never wavering as she shook his hand. "Would you care to dance?"
"That sounds heavenly."
Nodding, he wrapped his left arm around her waist, his right coming to rest on her shoulder as they started to move with the people around them. Henrik found it easy to keep rhythm with the music, as the woman in his arms followed his lead, her own steps light as air. "Your accent isn't Swedish," he said as he twirled them around.
"No, I'm actually here for a specific purpose."
That was more than a bit mysterious, and he frowned a little. "Oh?"
"Yes. A Guy mentioned that you would be here, that you had left England for a time, to recuperate after Oskar's incident."
His brows furrowed together as he tried to figure out how exactly she knew so much about him, and who this guy was that she had mentioned. A short trill of laughter escaped her lips, and again, he felt like he knew who was behind the mask, but he didn't want to ask at that moment and ruin the mystery of the evening. "You heard correctly," he finally said, pulling her a little closer to his body. That was enough for him to be able to breathe in the scent of her perfume a little more deeply, though he couldn't help but chuckle when he felt the woman in his arms also breathe in deeply.
"I love the scent of sandalwood."
Again, that hint of familiarity in her voice and mannerisms, making him recall the woman he had loved so dearly, and he let out a deep sigh as he rested his cheek against the top of her head, any distance between them disappearing as the current song blended into the next. Without meaning to, Henrik maneuvered them through the couples until they were on the edge of the dance floor, swaying slowly to an up-tempo song. "I can't help but feel like I know you," he whispered as they continued to move to the music.
"You do, you just have to look into your heart and find the truth that you don't want to believe."
Her words washed over him, and again, that sense of familiarity swept over him, prodding him to recall something that he had buried deep in his subconscious. "She died. I watched her die."
"Did you?"
He pulled away from her to look into her face. She was giving him such a familiar smile, and he nodded a little, feeling more befuddled than ever. Sliding his hand up her arm and down her collarbone, Henrik spread his hand out over her chest, searching for her pulse. When he could finally feel her heartbeat with his thumb, he allowed the steady thumping of it to bleed into his senses, and he let out a small gasp, feeling his eyes fill with tears as he stared into her eyes. "How?"
"Guy Self and a lot of therapy. Essie knew that I needed to get away from Holby for a little while, to recover and get my head back on straight once more. I wanted to tell you, I truly did. But something kept holding me back, whispering that it wasn't the right time, that you still needed space to find yourself. And then, Oskar was injured, and you left, and I knew that I had to seek you out. Fleur was a great help there, and now I'm in your arms, and all the struggle that I went through to be here, it feels so right."
He nodded before pulling her closer to his chest, knowing that he would have the hardest time letting go of her ever again. "Roxanna, how long are you here for?"
"Until you send me away. I don't ever want to leave your side again, but if you don't want me here, then I'll go. I love you enough to be willing to let you go, if I'm not the one that you want." Her voice became thick with tears, and he finally stopped moving so that he could embrace her fully, allowing her to cry into his chest as he protected her.
"I don't think that I could ever be strong enough to send you away, my darling one." There was something about this setting that allowed him to speak freely, to call her the pretty little names that he had for her in his head, and she sighed a little as she rubbed her cheek against his chest. "I'm staying with Sara and Oskar…"
"I know, and I have a room at the local inn. We could always head there after the party ends. I just want to spend some more time here, in your arms." He chuckled a little, feeling Roxanna stiffen as she drew in an offended breath. "What?"
"I find it a little funny that you can read my mind so easily. There isn't anywhere else I'd rather be than in your arms, either." Pulling away from Roxanna a little, he bent and placed a tender kiss to the middle of her forehead, listening to her sigh in absolute pleasure. "Let's get some refreshments before we start to dance again."
"All right." She let go of him, and he felt her absence keenly and instantly. "You feel it too?" He nodded. "It's like you're gone, but not really gone. I never knew what it was like to have the feeling of two souls being one until I was recovering from my ordeal. I loved David, with all my heart, don't get me wrong. But he was not my first love. So I had to push those feelings to a locked room in my soul, and focus on the person who I thought wouldn't reject me."
Henrik nodded as he led Roxanna over to the refreshment table, watching her pick out some fruit and a few canapés before grabbing a flute of champagne and watching him intently. "John, he, I listened to the wrong voice back at Rigden. I knew that I had feelings for you then, and I thought that you reciprocated them. John, when he rescued me from the lake, I was not in a good headspace, and he told me that obviously, since you didn't know I was drowning in depression, there was no way that you felt for me that way. And I listened, because he was my best friend."
She let out a small sigh as she nodded. "I wondered if he was the reason for the sudden rift between us." They went over to a free table and took a seat. Henrik watched as Roxanna sipped at the champagne before she looked at him once more. "I know that he was so kind in finding David as a partner for me, and I didn't question it, since I was hurting from the rejection. It was so easy to fall in love with David, to allow myself to start over with him, especially when you shut yourself away with John for days at a time. I just couldn't fit in there with you any longer."
"I should have tried harder, but you seemed so happy with David…"
They nodded in unison before Roxanna reached across the table and threaded their fingers together. It was so comforting to have her there, to feel her and know that she was real and wouldn't disappear again. Though he knew that he would have to do a lot of explaining when they returned to Wyvern and tried to start over there. "We missed so many opportunities to be truly happy, didn't we?" she asked as she started to cry a little.
"Maybe they weren't the right opportunity to take in that moment. Maybe we had to grow and become the people we are right now before we could love each other properly." Roxanna looked into his eyes as she pursed her lips together and shrugged. "I've loved you for so long, in all the various incarnations that you've been, but this one in front of me right now? She's the perfect rendering of all your selves blended together to be the strong, loving, person that I fell in love with at Rigden and watched turn into a resilient, brilliant surgeon. I wilted, you bloomed."
Roxanna shook her head as she let go of his hand, reaching up to cup his face, running her thumb back and forth along his cheekbone while she smiled at him tenderly. "You didn't wilt. Just because a plant grows best in the shade, doesn't mean it is any less lovely." Henrik turned his face so that he could kiss her palm, feeling relieved by the tenderness she was pouring upon him. "Jag älskar dig, Henrik."
"You speak svenska now, too?" he teased, watching her blush a little as she shrugged. "Well?"
"I had to do something with my mind while I was recuperating. There were a number of apps that saved my sanity, and taught me a few new things along the way. I am by no means fluent in your mother tongue, but I can understand some of what's said and read a newspaper. Reading is a lot easier than speaking or listening, I've found."
"Did you have anyone to practice with?" he asked.
"No, but I was thinking that you could help further my studies, once we've found a place to call home." He tilted his head a little, wondering what she meant. "I don't know if you want to go back to Holby, if that wouldn't just upset everything that you've been working so hard to rebuild here. But if you want to stay here, I can learn your language, and be content here. Because I know that wherever you go, so will I."
He smiled a little at her, giving her a small nod. "I do want to return to Holby, this was just a short break, for me to find myself once again. It was something I should have done after Fredrik, but a part of me knew that I had to stay to look after you, even if it was only as a friend. It wasn't until Oskar that I realized I had to focus on me."
Roxanna nodded as she moved her thumb to tap it against his lips. "I should have seen how you were floundering, just like me, and reached out to you, rather than throwing myself into caring for Ollie and then into the trial. So much of this could have been avoided."
"If we weren't both stubborn fools?" Roxanna giggled as she nodded. "At least we've finally learned from our mistakes and have a third chance to get it right."
He dipped his head a little before watching her finish the food she had taken. And then, he was getting to his feet and holding out his hand to her. She clasped it quickly and brought herself to her feet, slipping her arm around his waist as they made their way back to the dance floor. The next few hours seemed to float by as they danced, and Sara gave him a knowing smile as she passed by them in the arms of her best friend, the two women giggling a little about some secret they had shared. It felt so good to know that they both were starting to find some happiness again. "Was that Sara?"
"Yes. She's been really kind, allowing me to stay with her and take care of Oskar. Sometimes, you really just need to be around your family." A soft breath washed over his neck as she sighed in agreement, her body plastering against his as he buried his face into the crook of her neck, wanting to lose himself in her.
"We'll have to take our time in the future. I don't think I want sweet and gentle tonight."
Her words stirred something in his groin, and he bit back a groan as he tried to think about something other than her pale body bare before him, lust lending a pink flush to her skin. Her low chuckle just sent more blood to pool in his groin, and he tried to take a step back so that she wouldn't know that he was so aroused. "We'll have to see how the night goes," he finally managed to bite out, hoping beyond hope that she couldn't feel his erection. From the way that she chuckled again before kissing his jaw, her teeth nipping at his skin, told him that she felt all, and he swallowed thickly as he maneuvered them over towards the door. "Did you check your coat?"
"And my purse. Wait for me at the door," she purred, and he nodded slowly, making his way there. He tried to think of anything banal and uninteresting as he waited for her, knowing that the more he thought about what it would be like to finally make love to Roxanna, the less control he had over his reactions. Despite her desire to have it be quick, he wanted to take his time and learn her body over the course of the night. "All right, I'm ready."
Turning his head, he smiled to see that she was wearing an elegant black coat over her gown, and he held out his elbow to her. She slipped her hand into the crook of his elbow, and he led her over to his vehicle, helping her into the passenger seat before taking a seat behind the wheel. As he drove, Roxanna hummed along to the song on the radio, and he found himself falling even more in love with her. "Where are we headed to, again?" he asked, finally breaking the silence in the car. She smiled and gave him soft directions, still humming to the music as he followed along. He smirked a little as he recognized the place where Roxanna was staying.
Once they were parked, Henrik reached out for Roxanna's hand once more, threading their fingers together as they went inside and made their way over to the lifts. There wasn't anyone around, and they got into the lift alone. Once the doors had closed, Roxanna pushed him against the wall of the lift and captured his lips in a demanding kiss, her hands curling around his shoulders as she deepened the kiss, her tongue darting out to trace the line of his lips before he opened his mouth, allowing her tongue entrance as his hands slid down her sides to cup her bum.
The ding of the lift reaching her floor broke through the haze of their desire, and he pushed her away with a sigh as he motioned to the door. She nodded and grabbed his hand, pulling him down the hall until they reached her room, and then they were slipping inside, and Roxanna reached up and removed his mask before letting out a deep sigh and stepping forward to wrap her arms around his neck, pulling him in for another kiss. Henrik untied Roxanna's mask and allowed it to flutter to the floor as he walked them over to the bed and pulled her down with him, still kissing her. It was a little awkward as they stretched out on the bed, their hands and legs seeming to be moving at entirely the wrong time. Finally, Henrik was able to find the zipper on the dress, and slowly pulled it down her back, pausing to unhook her bra before slipping his hands inside the dress and beneath her panties to cup her bum and hold her close as the kiss lingered on.
Finally, though, Roxanna pulled away and sat up, tugging the dress and bra off her body. Henrik stared at her slack jawed, drinking in every centimeter of her body. "You're so beautiful," he breathed out as he placed one hand on her chest, feeling her soft skin for the first time. She smiled at him before making quick work of the buttons on his jacket and shirt, pushing them down his shoulders before standing up and allowing her dress to fall to the floor, revealing the periwinkle panties that matched her bra along with the sheer thigh high stockings as the only clothing left on her body.
"Do you like what you see?" she teased, and he could only nod as she slipped her thumbs into the waistband of the panties and pulled them down her legs before kneeling on the floor, using her dress as a cushion as she fumbled with his belt and fly, finally getting them undone so that she could tug them down his legs before untying his shoes and then removing them and his socks. "Because I really like what I see," she said, her voice low and husky with desire as she ran her hands up his legs, spreading her fingers out on his thighs.
Henrik let out a strangled groan as her fingers crept closer and closer to his cock, and he hurriedly tried to find thoughts that would turn him away from the desire coursing too quickly through his body. He didn't want to come so quickly, as it was their first time, but then her hands moved to his hips, pulling him to the edge of the bed before she leaned in and placed an almost shy kiss on the head of his cock. "Roxy," he finally managed to choke out, and she chuckled lowly before kissing his cock once more as she spread his legs and placed herself between them as she rose to her feet, leaning in and kissing him once more as she hugged him close. The feel of her breasts against his bare chest elicited another groan from him and Roxanna smiled against his lips before pulling away to look into his face. "What?"
"I don't know. There's just something about being so vulnerable to you right now, and all I really want is to feel your hands and lips on my body. I've waited for this moment for so long, and…" Before she could finish her thought, Henrik pulled her tightly to his body, using his arms to lift her slightly. Instinctively, she straddled him, and he ran his hands up and down her thighs as he fairly devoured her lips in a torrent of kisses.
Her arms encircled his neck, holding him even closer as he kissed his way down the column of her neck, relishing in the feel of her pulse thumping against him, telling him that she was just as aroused as he was. They scooted back on the mattress, and Roxanna lifted herself up a little before taking hold of his cock, stroking it a few times before sliding herself down onto it. It had been so long since he had made love with a woman, but everything came flooding back to the forefront of his memory as he spread his hands out on her hips, trying to control the pace of their lovemaking. A sharp little wail slipped from Roxanna's lips as he captured one stiffened nipple between his lips, letting his teeth scrape against it softly. The mewls and moans just encouraged him to suckle and lave on the peak as he thrust up against her. They worked out a rhythm that felt perfect to him, and Henrik smiled against her chest as he kissed his way over to her other breast to treat it the same, one hand snaking up her back to bury in her hair as they came closer and closer to completion.
"Fuck," he heard her mutter in his ear, and he nodded in return. "Seriously, Henrik, please just, fuck, I need…" Her words came quick and low, and he released her nipple with a soft pop before pulling away and looking up into her eyes. They were heavy with desire, and he fell in love with her all over again as he slipped his free hand between their bodies to seek out her clitoris, letting his thumb brush against it in an opposite pattern of his thrusts. Henrik was startled when she dropped her head to his shoulder, biting down hard as she climaxed. As her muscles tightened around him, Henrik let himself go, coming hard as he tightened his hold on her head.
Roxanna became putty in his arms as she sagged against him, and he could feel her tears start to dampen his skin. Cooing to her lightly, he maneuvered them onto their sides, never wanting to let go of her as they rested in post-orgasmic bliss. "I love you," he whispered against her head, feeling her nod a little as she stretched her body out along his, one leg thrown over his, as if to keep the space between them at a minimum. "This was worth waiting for."
"It truly was," she whispered in reply as she rested her head on his chest. "I hope I didn't bite you too hard."
Henrik chuckled as he shook his head. "As long as I can cover it up for work, it will be fine. I just never expected you to be so feral," he teased as he stroked her back softly, tugging on her hair absently. "And your hair is longer now."
"Pure vanity on my part. Guy, well, he had to shave my head to fix what John broke, and a stubborn part of me decided that I would just grow it out, allow myself to have one thing that I could totally control about my body. I hope you like long hair, because I don't think I'm going to cut it any time soon."
"I think that I will love seeing you with long hair. So long as you keep colouring it. I was always partial to pink, but lilac might be nice, too."
She laughed as she nodded. "I suppose that I could try lilac for you." A small yawn slipped from her throat as she nuzzled her cheek on his chest. "I don't want to go to sleep yet, but I feel exhausted."
"Well, we did wear ourselves out dancing and making love. You are more than entitled to being tired after that." He bent his head and pressed a kiss to the top of her head. "When we wake up, I am going to take my time loving on you and mapping every part of your body. I've waited more than twenty years for this pleasure, and I know that any stranger I could have chosen tonight will always pale in comparison to how much I love you and how brightly you shine."
Roxanna pressed her lips against his chest before yawning once more. "I look forward to the morning, then, darling." He nodded as he fumbled around for the sheets, covering them up before burying his face in Roxanna's hair and allowing himself to relax into sleep, not allowing any negative thoughts to enter his brain as he held onto his love.