AU

Rated T

Unbetaed

From Natsuki with Love

Ne Okaasan, it has been a year now since you've left me all alone. Why do you have to leave that way? You know I wasn't ready to face the world by myself; you didn't even give me some signs so I at least readied myself to this unfortunate event. Okaasan, I miss you…please sent me an angel if you can't come here to be with me…to guide me…to love me

"What are you doing here?" An old lady in nurse uniform asked me, she was standing in front of me and was shaking her head. Her voice laced with exasperation

"I think it is clear that I am sitting here and trying to relax myself." I said frowning

"You know you are not supposed to get out of your bed. You're injured leg will not heal if you keep on walking on them." She said sternly

I looked at her with a frown, "I asked for a wheel chair but you didn't give me any. I've been in that cramped room for the whole fucking week!" I yelled at her. I don't care if she finds me disrespectful, but I've had enough of them, they think that they know what they are doing…but how the hell do they know what I feel? What I felt?

"You will stop talking to me like that, I am older…"

"And stupider! I will say what I want to say, I will curse if I want to curse and you cannot tell me to stop because you're not my mother! You're just a fucking nurse!" I screamed again

I watched as her face reddened, probably from embarrassment or from anger, but then suddenly tears started pooling in her eyes and there was this sudden feeling of remorse from what I did, "I…"

"I am sorry Kuga-san. I wasn't informed about you asking for a wheel chair. I shall see to it that you get one so you can go out of your room from time to time without worsening your leg. Gomen," she said cutting my supposed to be apology. She bowed her head and was about to turn her back on me when I decided to act mature and responsible

"Gomen…I shouldn't have…"

"You're action is justifiable Kuga-san, there's no need to say sorry besides you're right, I am just a nurse." She said without facing me and then she continued on walking away from me.

5 minutes later, two male nursing aids came pushing a wheelchair, the bigger one carried me and carefully sat me on the chair, the other one adjusted the wheelchair's leg strap so that my injured leg could be strapped there comfortably.

"We are sorry for this late response to your request ma'am." The smaller aide said smiling at me, "Do you want me to push the chair for you to your destination?" he asked

I shook my head and returned his smile, "No, I can do that. My leg is the only one injured, my arms are well and working." I said before bowing to them and the two aides turned and walked away from me

Why am I acting like a brat? I don't talked like this to anyone…did I digressed to this? A hot headed, world hater, you don't understand my feelings kind of woman? I was lost in my thought as I maneuvered the wheelchair from corridors to corridors. I was not paying attention to anyone or anything, I was just lost with my own thoughts…well until I arrived on a see through glass wall and my eyes saw one particular woman, a patient. I looked up to see a sign on top of the viewing window, the sign says ICU.

The woman has a chestnut colored hair, her hair probably falls below her shoulders from what I can see, her face pale but it looks beautiful, her eyes were closed and there was no hint of any bags there, there was a tube inside her mouth wherein the end was connected to a machine I knew to be a respirator. There was another tube this time it was inserted to one of her nostril. Both her hands have IV tubes and there were four bottles of who knows what hanging from two IV stands, all of its contents draining inside her body.

"What's wrong with her?" I asked no one, not expecting any answer

"She underwent a bypass surgery, she had a heart replacement." Someone answered and that caught my attention, I looked at the woman wearing a white lab coat beside me. I saw her looked down at me and smiled, "Sagisawa Yohko," the woman said, "I am a doctor here." She added

"Hi." I greeted her and returned my eyes on the woman

"I saw you at the lobby earlier…" I didn't looked at her but I felt my face heat up, "Don't worry, the reason you were called patients in a hospital is because you must remind us that patience is one virtue we all need to hone as healthcare workers." She said, "We understand how difficult it is for you to be nice while suffering pain, so you don't have to be sad for saying such things…"

"I am not much in pain; my leg is healing nicely so I have no reason to say those…"

"Pain doesn't always pertain to physical injury you know." She said then I felt her hand on my shoulder, "Shizuru was in a much much more painful situation, she was operated for cardiomyopathy." She explained

"What is that?"

"It's a condition of the heart where the muscle wouldn't work normally. Hers was caused by a certain bacteria that caused her heart muscle to malfunction. The worst thing about it is that there's no other treatment to it but surgery, heart transplantation."

"But bacteria can be killed right?" I asked suddenly concern about the woman in front of me as if she was an old acquaintance

"Yes, the infection was cleared but the complication that followed wasn't, she has to wait for how many years for a perfect donor to come."

Silence

"But that's not what makes her hurt more, it was her battling this disease alone."

My face saddened, "Doesn't she have parents?" I asked

"She has, but her parents are so busy with work they have no time to look after Shizuru, not even on the day of her operation, she was alone here in this hospital."

I guess she is indeed unfortunate, I can't believe I've been feeling like this and yet there's someone who has more reason to feel the way I've felt. I am alone. At least I knew that if my mother was alive, then she'll be here to look after me. But this woman has her parents and yet she is alone, "Her name is Shizuru right?"

I looked at the doctor beside me as she nodded her head, "Fujino Shizuru."

"Fujino…Shizuru…" I said her name and felt that it rolled perfectly on my tongue, "What a beautiful name." I added, "Doc…" no answer, "I…can I visit her? I mean, I have no one here too and I feel lonely, I was thinking maybe I can…"

"That was nice of you Kuga-san!" the doctor exclaimed, "Then I shall inform the ICU nurses that they allow you in during visit hours, how about that?"

I smiled at her…finally there's something I can do now instead of just cooping up inside my room

But before I knew it, the doctor started pushing my wheelchair out of the hall, "You will come back here tomorrow, but for now you are to get back to your room and be a nice girl alright?"

I smiled and nodded her head I'll be nice indeed

XXX

Hi, hehehe, I know you might think of me as a stalker or something, you don't know me but thanks to your doctor I knew you. Do you know that you have a very beautiful name? Oh yes, your doctor told me your name, Fujino Shizuru and its lovely. I can't stop saying it over and over until I fell asleep. Well I was allowed to visit you, so expect me to be in your room everyday. I wish I could walk and buy you flowers…but too bad I can't, see you later Shizuru

Holding the letter in my hand and a box of my favorite mayo-flavored cupcake, I rang the bell to the ICU and waited for a nurse to open the door for me. I didn't wait long when a fiery haired nurse opened the door smiling. She welcomed me and pushed my wheelchair to where your bed is.

"Hi, I'm Tokiha Mai and I am this shifts nurse on duty, if there is anything you need just yell at me okay. I am glad someone is here to visit Fujino-san, it's been a while you know." She said before she left me

I was just looking at the patient's face when I was left alone, have no idea what to do. So in a desperate need to do something, I rolled the wheel forward and then I put my letter on the top of the side table opposite the respirator and the other machines. Just beside the family picture. I took the frame and looked at it

"This must be your family. You have a very tall father and your mother is beautiful…just like you." I said then I noticed her crimson eyes, "And you have the most enigmatic crimson eyes that I've ever seen." I added before returning the frame, "You know, I envy children who have a father and a mother, but when I grew up, I've learned that I don't have to envy them because my mother was enough, she's much more efficient than having a complete pair." I laughed at myself

I became lost talking to her, telling her stories that I lost track of time. I was even eating my bread there as I keep on unraveling too much of myself, until the time gets to me. Mai came to us and told me that visiting hours is already up. So I bade goodbye and went back to my room.

XXX

Shizuru hello, this is the third day that I'll be visiting you. To tell you the truth, I don't feel lonely anymore…yeah, the very first time I visited you, the loneliness I felt here in my heart evaporated, it's like someone is with me now…everyday…Mai told me that she won't be the nurse on duty today, its her day off and you know what? Sagisawa-sensei told me that you're operation was a success, she said they were waiting for the acute and late rejection but it didn't happened, so they said once you wake up, they will be putting you in a regular room. I hope you wake up soon and I wish that you could be roomed next or near to mine so I can still visit you as long as I can. Please hurry and wake up, I like to see your eyes in person, not just on that picture.

Natsuki

PS Ne…I haven't told you about my name yet, my name is Kuga Natsuki. I'll see you soon

XXX

Ne Shizuru, yesterday was hilarious. Shiho-chan was Mai's reliever and unlike Mai, she's a loud nurse, but she was fun. She kept us company and even told funny stories about her and her oniichan; do you know that she has a grandfather who owns a shrine? She said she was trained there, but I don't think she learned anything from the way she acts and speak.

Ne Shizuru, Sagisawa-sensei said that they'll be removing your respirator tomorrow, that's today! You'll finally be free from that thing and they are going to take out two of those fluids. Your doctor is very happy that your body is responding perfectly with your treatment. Hey but its not only your doctor that was happy, Dr. Suguira congratulated me, she said my bones were knitting fast and she might remove my cast in two days and replace it with a removable one. I'll start my physical therapy too on that day; I can't wait to walk so I can visit you without this wheelchair.

XXX

As expected, in two days, my cast was removed and my physical therapy started. It was painful but I endured it because I wanted to be able to walk so I can visit Shizuru with a leg instead of a wheel, and in five days I was out of the wheelchair and walking with a stick. But that development didn't made me happy…because I was finally being released from the hospital…

I walked in the ICU, you're still there, heart monitor still clinging to your body. Yesterday, you were supposed to be placed on a regular room, but you suddenly developed a very high fever so your doctor decided to let you stay and be under observation for 48 hours. I feel like my heart is being clutched tightly Shizuru, this will be the last day that I will be able to see you here. I am to be back next week and you won't be here anymore.

I don't know why I feel so attached to you, why it hurts to leave you? To know that when you wake…you'll not even remember anything I've said…that you don't even know how I look like? Will you believe me if I say that despite the fact that we are having a one way conversation, that despite you remained asleep and unresponding that I deeply cared for you…to the point that I think I've fallen in love with you? It's funny but…I think it's true. Goodbye Shizuru…I don't want to say it but…I have to

I had fun

I left a bunch of flowers in your room and I hope you'll forgive me if I took your family picture.

I was crying when I leaned forward and kissed your lips before I turned around and walked out of your life

XXX

What happened? I felt so heavy…I felt like I was returning from my old self, I was happy so why do I feel like someone's leaving me behind…again? I opened my eyes and my vision was met by a white ceiling. Yes…I am still in a hospital, how long have I been here?

Weakly I raised my hand and touched my lips, why do my lips feels hot? It feels like someone was here and kissed me. I closed my eyes, no one was here, my parents were in Germany taking care of some problem, I could have died and yet they weren't here…green orbs…blue hair…whose image was it? Do I know that image? I opened my eyes once again to be met by the nurse's excited eyes

Then she called out my doctor

Before everyone rushed in to inspect me, I noticed a pile of papers in front of my empty picture frame, "Ara…I remember putting mom and dad's picture…" and my weakened voice was interrupted by the sight of the most beautiful bouquet of flowers, something I have not received and the thought made me smile and tear up. I was about to reach for the flowers when Sagisawa-sensei came in

"Welcome back Shizuru." She greeted and walked to the side, took the bouquet and handed it to me, "Very beautiful." I nodded at her

I took the card on the bouquet, opened it and read

"From Natsuki…with Love…" I looked at my doctor and saw the twinkle in her eyes

I need to meet her…I need to know her

XXX

I've read Natsuki's letter over and over until I was released from the hospital two days after I woke up. Sagisawa-sensei told me that I need to see her once every week for follow up.

But that's not what I wanted to do once I get back home… I am going to look for Natsuki…I will find Natsuki at all cost

XXX

I was excited to be back in the hospital for my therapy. If Shizuru is not in the ICU then I can ask where her room is right? So I limped to where the PT room was and reported in. One hour of painful therapy and then I started heading to the ICU and saw Mai there

"Kuga-san!" Mai called out and I smiled at her

"Hello Mai, I'm here for my therapy!" I said excitedly

"Oh, but you should jut let one of the PT come to your house." Mai said as she smiled at me, "I am bored, no patient here right now." She added

"Yeah! Can I ask you Shizuru's room? I bought these flowers for her; I wanted to visit her…even if she hasn't waked up yet."

"Shizuru-san woke up the day you were released from the hospital Kuga-san." She said smiling, "We were so happy for her, she looked like as if she wasn't operated at all."

"Really?!"

"Hai!" then I saw her smile dropped, "She was released from the hospital two days after she woke up, she came here before she went home and thanked us."

That news almost crashed my heart. Shizuru is not here anymore…and there's no way for me to find her…"How about her address? Can you tell me where I can see her?"

Mai's face was sad, "Sorry Kuga-san, if I knew I'll tell you, but her parents makes it a point not to write their address on any public documents, you know how private the rich are." She said, "I'm sorry Kuga-san."

I shook my head and wasn't aware when tears started falling from my face

Perhaps the thought of having my therapist come to my house became a very nice idea now…there's no one to return to here…except for memories…

XXX

I was standing at the front of my apartment entrance with wide eyes, Shizuru's flowers still in my arms. I was so devastated that I decided to go home late to find a crimson eyed woman at my doorstep

"I am looking for Natsuki…"

"Shi…Shizuru…"

"Natsuki?" I nodded my head

She smiled at me, the most beautiful smile I've seen in my whole life, her crimson eyes twinkled as she takes in my appearance. I held out my breath as she stepped closer to me

"I…I remember your eyes…your hair," she said and then she raised her hand and tentatively placed them on my hair, "I remember your voice, your laughter…" she added, her eyes began tearing up

"Shizuru…"

"I remember how it felt when your hand caressed mine,"

"How…"

"I remember when your lips touched mine." I didn't stop her from caressing my hair, "I think I felt your sadness that day you left the hospital…I woke up because I felt like I needed to do something…I needed to stop you from walking out of my life."

I wasn't able to contain my tears anymore, I closed the gap between us and took her in embrace, "I miss you Shizuru…I miss you!" I felt her tightened her embrace on me and leaned her head on mine

"I am sorry I wasn't there to talk to you, I wasn't there to comfort you…" Shizuru whispered her shoulder was shaking just like mine was. We were both crying…hoping that the tears were from happiness not sorrow

"I wanted to find you Shizuru but I can't…"

"You don't have too, because I found you…and if you'll allow me, I wanted to stay with you…" she pulled away, and looked me in my eyes, "…and love you back…"

"You…you believe me when I said that I think I am in love with you?" I watch you nod your head and her answer made me smile, "Oh I would love for you to stay…but your parents…"

"Will not miss me, but you will."

I nodded my head and before I know it, Shizuru leaned forward and caught my lips with her

I handed her the bouquet of flowers in my hand when our lips parted, "I brought these for you, I thought you were still at the hospital…"

Shizuru took the card from the bouquet and read it, "From Natsuki…with Love…" her voice soft, happy and then she looked into my eyes before she once again leaned in to catch my lips with her

Natsuki, my darling daughter I've heard you and sent someone to take care of you. I've met her somewhere here and was glad that she was sent back, I told her my daughter needed someone to look after her because she was so stubborn and gladly she accepts. I've sent you your angel my Natsuki…your angel that will guide you, and love you…forever

Okaasan…Arigato

With Love…Natsuki

-End-

A/N: I was reformatting my flask disks when I found this piece on one of them. This was the prize story for Bleeding Hopes in my AAR challenge a year ago (I think…). I thought it was good so I'm posting this here. (I forgot the whole challenge; it was I think about Shizuru having cardiomyopathy, meeting Natsuki and Natsuki being dragged…I think something like that?)