BROKEN
It was a mistake.
There was no other explanation for it, and as I take a quick glance into his eyes, I know that it had to be a mistake. That I, Yakumo, had gotten so terribly upset with Mushra that I had hurt him physically no less. The red spot that rested quite comfortably on his left cheek left impresion of great force. I hadn't meant to, but he was beating our foe so cruelly that I didn't know what I could do to make him stop. I despaired, and human reflex took over. I prefer to think that it is I that should be hurt, sulking, upset but it is he. He is sitting in a corner, unsually quiet, looking depressed and hopeless. Somehow, I believe, that, that slap to the fact stung more than his face.
I'm not supposed to be this way, and that is the truth. I am supposed to be, undauntingly, incapable of the thought of pain. Yet I am very much capable, and the proof is looking at me dejectedly. Kutal and Sago have tried to ease his pain but he only brushes them away. He wants me, not them. He wants me to tell him that he's forgiven. That I, the angel of peace forgive the sinner. Except, it is I, who is the sinner. But he doesn't know, or refuses to acknowledge that fact and is waiting for my kind and soothing words to heal his wound and affliction of mind.
" I am sorry Mushra, but I cannot give them to you. I have no words of comfort to let you lay in repose."
I have said the truth over and over, but it refuses to come out. Mainly because of my human pride.
Pride?
Is that what I have succume to?
Everything is going terribly wrong. What can I do. Oh, father... This proves I am still the small child you left, I am begging for something that I should be mature to do on my own. I cannot cry, for they will rush to me and he will feel as I should feel. Guilt, such a bitter and deserved reward for my actions. And yet...
I remind myself, you are the savior of the world, it is supposed to be like this. You will falter, but because you are the ultimate ruler, they will, the must forgive you.
No
No
No!
It cannot be so, I cannot be thinking this way. This is the greed and belief of power that has corrupted many...
"Yakumo?"
Through the turmoil within me, I had failed to notice that Mushra had left his solitude and stood next to me. My eyes widen in fear, I know what is coming next.
"I'm sorry, I..."
"No,
I hear myself saying.
"You shouldn't be sorry, I'm the oneyour cheek..."
"No, its allright really,
He smiles at me, I hate myself more than ever.
"It was just I overdid it, I'm sorry."
He leaves in content retreat for he thinks he has earned forgiveness from his savior.
If he only knew...