Title: Wrong Me Not, For I'm Weary
Rating: T
Summary: Marian gets a little bit tipsy, and a little introspective. Season 1.
Disclaimer: I do not hold any ownership over the BBC's version of Robin Hood.
Author's Note: Art imitates... never mind. Written late last night, and entirely unbeta'd. If you want perfect grammar, go read a dictionary. The title comes from a Charlene Kaye lyric, the song "Don't Make Me Believe" which you should all go listen to. Enjoy!
...
"You do not have to marry him," says a little voice at her window.
Marian has just gotten back from her rounds as the Nightwatchman.
"If you do not have anything more useful to say, Robin, simply go. We have been over this, and it is not a game. My father's life is more than a token."
"And your future is more than this game," Robin tells her. "May I-"
"If you cross that sill, I will throw you back out," Marian says, her voice low. She takes off her mask and hood.
"I do not know why you are so upset - I do this for you!"
"You do this for you."
"For us!"
"What us? Are you going to string me along again, only to leave for the Holy Land?"
His mouth shuts then, and he swallows whatever he was going to say.
"Forgive me, but you have a precedent of leaving me just as I might have need of you. I cannot have you speak words of kindness, of freedom, to have you leave."
"I will think of something."
"Think of a long term solution for the people of Nottingham, Robin, and do not worry about my marriage."
He huffs and slides out, keeping to the shadows. She slams the shutters closed. She cannot bear having any more midnight visitors. Marian knows full wellthat she will be unhappy in her future. It is best that she not let her heart get used to Robin now. Not again.
Never again.
It is easier this way, she thinks.
She pours herself a goblet of wine from the kitchen.
And another.
And another...
Too many glasses as of late. She curls in her bed against her soft pillows.
No, she did not wish to marry Guy. She is not altogether sure she wants to marry Robin. Or anyone, for that matter.
She wishes to protect what is hers. Her father, her lands, her people.
But a marriage to Guy of Gisbourne... she may as well be his mistress. God knew that Guy had a curious connection with the Sheriff, whether out of fear or lust for power, Marian knows not. She hopes she would be able to change Guy, but she was being realistic. He will never change. Never give up his hunt for Robin. Robin, who fought for justice.
They may be going in different directions, her and Robin, but they had the same destination, the same utopia in mind.
Marian does not know what to think, and the wine is not really helping. Though she likes the pleasant buzzing in her head. Much better than a headache.
But she is weary; weary of the fighting, the politics, the two men vying for her affections, her attentions.
Perhaps she should have taken orders, after all.
Not that the Church takes perfect care of its brides of Christ. Well, not so much the Church, but men of the cloth.
Poor Marian, she thinks bitterly. Wronged and thwarted at every turn.
She finishes her goblet and rolls into her blankets.
She will think of something tomorrow, something that would give her a little more time, something besides "I will marry you when the King returns." That was a stroke of genius. Well done, Marian. See? You do not need Robin."
Her eyes slam shut and she falls into sleep.