AN: This is quite AU, considering that the Disney characters are in High School and all the child characters are a bit older, so their personalities have changed a bit. This is however first and foremost, a crack fic.

This two-shot was originally found in my one shot collection titled "Our Turn." I've decided to separate the one shots into their own stories. This story was originally titled "Do You Think I'm Sexy"

The idea behind this came from Amara77's WD Academy as well as my image of Peter Pan as a teenager. Please do read her story, it's so entertaining.

Disclaimer: I do not own Peter Pan, Alice in Wonderland, A Jungle Book, The Sword in the Stone, or any other Disney film that is mentioned in this story.

"If you want my body and you think I'm sexy…"

"Of all the things to come out of your mouth that was about the last thing I expected" Mowgli , a thin Indian boy of only sixteen commented towards his friend.

Peter chuckled, his smile bright. "Sorry. Tinkerbell bought a CD last week with that song on it and has been playing it continuously. I have to admit it's kind of catchy," the ginger teen explained, lounging in his desk.

Mowgli rolled his eyes and brought his attention back to the Algebra II homework he had forgotten to do the night before.

It was a fairly typical morning at Martin Van Buren High School for Peter and Mowgli. Considering they were only sophomores, they weren't exactly at the top of the social ladder, although Mister Peter Pan sure was on his way.

To be completely honest, Peter was hardly a bad kid. Sure, he liked to play pranks on people every now and again, but that didn't make him evil, did it? No and besides, the rumor about him and last year's Prom Queen Ariel was just a rumor right? Of course it was. Peter Pan simply loved attention to put it simply.

Mowgli was known simply as "Peter's friend" to most people, but that didn't really bother him. Peter and Mowgli have been friends since they were in Kindergarten and Peter had been the one to take Mowgli out of his shell. Not to mention, there was simply just a taste of adventure when one is friends with someone like that.

It was way too early this Monday for every high schooler, and Mr. Black's first hour Advanced Algebra II class was no exception. Majority of the class had their backs hunched and head rested on their desks, trying to catch up on lost sleep.

"Do you know where Pendragon went?" Peter questioned, laying his legs on his desk.

Mowgli didn't even look up from his work. "He said he wanted to stop by the library before class."

"Well Artie better move his white boy-"

"How many times have I asked you to not call me that," a British accent interrupted.

"Hey Arthur," Mowgli and Peter greeted in unison as their friend sat down in the desk on the other side of Peter.

Arthur Pendragon with his thick blond mane of hair was probably the most responsible and mature of the three, but yet again how mature can one really be while still being friends with Peter Pan? Arthur asked himself this often.

"What book did you get?" Mowgli questioned.

"Uhmm…" Arthur started looking down at the hardcover in his hands. "Phantom of the Opera, Gaston Leroux."

"Stupid," Peter mumbled under his breath.

"How is that stupid?"

"The book is way too small. How do you expect to hide a Playboy with that short thing?"

Arthur rolled his eyes, refusing to fight with his peculiar best friend.

Looking around the room, acquiring his bearings, Arthur caught site of the usual culprit of uncomfortable stares.

"Wendy is up to it again," Arthur spoke quietly to Peter.

The ginger groaned, putting his feet down firmly on the floor. He curved in his seat to see Wendy Darling diagonally behind him in the back of the classroom. She had her chin rested on her hands, staring dreamily at him. When Wendy finally realized he was looking back at her, she snapped out of her daze and perked up in her seat.

"Hi Peter," Wendy waved, smiling excitedly.

"Hi Wendy," Peter waved back nowhere near as enthusiastic. He turned back to his friends without another word.

"She really needs to give it up. We went out once last year, it's over," Peter thought aloud.

"But didn't you have a big crush on her back then as well?" Mowgli debated.

Peter shrugged. "Yes, but then I realized she's not my type."

Arthur sighed, his nose in his book. He didn't look up as he said, "I have a feeling I am going to regret this, but what exactly is your type?"

"Oh, you know, older, mature,-"

"Incredibly naïve. We know you didn't actually sleep with Ariel freshman year," Arthur interrupted.

"Yes, but everyone else thinks that I did, so let's keep it at that."

At that moment the school bell rang and right after Mr. Black, the classroom's teacher walked in. The students all ran to their seats to get ready for class.

Mowgli quick put away his homework, still a problem or two away from being done and put it back into his folder so the teacher wouldn't catch him doing it. Arthur kept his nose in his book. Considering his good grades, most teachers let him do what he wanted in class as long as he was quiet. Mr. Black was one of those teachers. Peter laid his head back and closed his eyes, wanting to catch some Z's. He knew Mr. Black would probably say something about that, but didn't care.

Mr. Black was one of the slightly younger teachers, all though not exactly a peer. He was twenty eight years old and stood at probably five foot eight, about the same height as Peter. Mr. Black had curly black hair and a slight muscle tone. He had bright green eyes that many girls at the school fawned over. Some girls had even tried in the past few years he'd been at the school, those girls including Snow White with her older man fetish (Peter wondered if she would ever date someone less than five years older than her), Charlotte La Bouff, and Anastasia Tremaine. Sadly the girls were very disappointed to find out he was married, although that didn't stop Snow.

The young teacher took off his jacket and rested it on the chair before looking up at his class. "Hey class, happy Monday," he greeted, although not very enthusiastically. He was nearly always close to late on Mondays.

"Hey Mr. Black," the class greeted back, the girls much louder.

He smiled, moving some sway away curls out of his face. "I hear we're going to have a new student today," he announced. The class went into an uproar of whispers.

"Who wants to bet she's British," Peter said under his breath."

"You got a problem with British people now Peter Pan?" Arthur questioned, an eyebrow raised. Mowgli chuckled.

"No, I don't. But I can't help but notice the abnormally large amount of British people at this American school," Peter explained.

"Point taken," Arthur sighed and got, yet again, back to his book.

Then there was a knock at the door. All the students became silent, except for the few quiet whispers wondering who the new kid will be.

"Five bucks on ugly British girl," Peter whispered to Mowgli.

"Five bucks on ugly British guy," Mowgli countered.

"Pendragon?"

"Ten bucks it's a blond British girl," Arthur said.

"Deal," the boys agreed and waited for the person to walk in.

"Come in," Mr. Black called to the person at the door as he was cleaning up his desk.

First they saw Melody Malone, a good friend of Arthur's and there for a mutual friend of Peter and Mowgli's. Her black hair was tied into a ponytail and her dark blue eyes were shining just like her smile. She was extremely pretty, and trust me, Peter would have easily gone after that, but she was awfully stubborn and spends most of her time with Peter telling him his faults.

"Hello Mr. Black, I've brought our new student, Alice Kingsley. I'm her guide for today," Melody explained. Mr. Black nodded.

"Definitely British," Peter whispered, then turning his attention to Mowgli. "And a girl."

Walking slowly, the new girl came into the classroom. Peter admitted she was pretty, meaning that he lost his bet, although she wasn't anywhere near hot. Melody and Wendy defiantly beat her on the pretty scale, while nearly every girl and most guys beat her on the hot side. Even Milo Thatch was sexier than her, Peter admitted.

She was rather short, probably just barely five feet and had long blonde hair with a black headband pulling her bangs back. She had a baby face (as did most people at this school), and plump pink lips with bright blue eyes. She wore a short white skirt with jeans underneath and a blue scoop neck shirt with slightly puffy sleeves. The girl had a small smile, but to be honest she didn't seem to much like the attention.

"Everyone, Alice Kingsley. Alice Kingsley, everyone," Melody introduced.

"Hello everyone," Alice smiled.

"Blond, British, and female. Pay up boys," Arthur whispered to the boys, a smirk on his face.

The friends groaned and pulled out ten bucks each and handed the money to Arthur. "Thank you boys."

"Alice, why don't you sit next to Melody, in front of Peter," Mr. Black explained, motioning to the seat. Alice nodded and followed Melody to her seat.

"Where is my cut?" Melody said almost immediately as she sat down, turning in her seat towards Arthur.

He smiled and handed her half of his earnings.

"You already knew?" Mowgli enraged quietly.

Arthur nodded. "Oh come on, you should have sensed something wrong when I actually went along with the bet," he chuckled.

Peter rolled his eyes, not even caring much. He'd won his fair share of money from Mowgli anyway.

Mr. Black started the class, leaving most of the students quiet to pay attention. Today was going to be a review day for the test that was to be tomorrow. He spent about twenty minutes going through the material, answering questions anyone had to make sure we felt prepared for the test. Then he passed out a worksheet for the class to do in class. Three pages front and back of algebra II homework, great, Peter thought.

"If you guys are quiet, I'm going to let you work in small groups. No more than five and make sure you are productive. If I hear conversations not involving math, I'll be forced to have you guys do it on your own," Mr. Black threatened lightly. "If anyone has any more questions, please come up and see me. Now get to work."

"Okay boys, you know the drill," Peter announced as both Mowgli and Arthur moved their desks so they were connected with his in the middle. Melody moved her desk so she was across from Arthur and she told Alice to do the same. She was now sitting across from Peter.

As everyone started to do their homework in the small group, Peter simply relaxed in his seat and closed his eyes. His friends were used to this and pretty much ignored him. Peter may have been good at math, but he didn't like homework. They didn't help him with his homework or do it for him, so they never protested when he decided not to do anything.

"If you want my body and you think I'm sexy, come on sugar let me know," Peter sang yet again, although this time much quieter.

Suddenly he heard an unrecognized chuckle. He looked up, trying to find the source.

Alice was covering her mouth, trying to hide her laugh as she continued with the problems on the worksheet.

"What's so funny Kingsley?" Peter questioned.

"Oh nothing, I just never really thought of you as a Glee fan," Alice answered.

"I'm not, I was singing from the original."

"Yeah, sure. And who sang the original?" Alice challenged

Damn, Peter thought. "Uhh… Michael Jackson?" Peter guessed, knowing he was doomed.

Alice laughed, as did Melody and Arthur as well. Mowgli didn't seem to get it. Figures, he did tend to zone out a lot.

"You are a total Glee fan," Alice chuckled.

"I am not."

"You are, and you shouldn't feel any shame. It's a great show."

"I wouldn't know, I've never seen it," Peter answered. He wasn't lying either. He really had never seen the show; he only knew the music from his older sister.

"Whatever you say Peter," she finished and went back to her work.

"Boy, you just got pwned," Melody said quietly.

"Shut up Melody!"