Okay. Ender's Game is not mine, it's Orson Scott Card's. It could never be mine! It's too good! I love it! "The Saga Begins" is Weird Al's, and "American Pie" is Don McLean's. So it's not any of my stuff… I just fit words to songs in rhythm and rhyme. ^_^
American Pie: Ender's Game Version
Adapted by Amalia Ryoko James
Some long, long time from now
Buggers invaded outer space
Most humans died from their attack
Yet somehow man managed to win
And sent their ansible thing into
Invade third and pay the buggers back
They trained a Third, named Ender Wiggin
He had the skills they needed within
The main man was named Graff
A colonel for the I.F.
The Battle School was Ender's start
In every subject he was smart
From Valentine he had to part
The I.F. ruled this boy
Oh my, my Ender is this boy's name
"Buggers coming" so he's learning – lessons all are a game
To save the world he told his sister goodbye
Saying "Valentine I'll write you, don't cry"
"Valentine I'll write you, don't cry"
Did you know that outcast Third
Can fly in space just like a bird
He hurt a guy in zero g
Ahh, do you see him acing rec room sims
Beat an older kid just on a whim
Yeah he'll probably be a commander someday
Well I know he overcame nullo
In the battleroom, with help, you know
Bernard and Shen, it's true
Both of them joined Alai's group
Ender's a prepubescent tactics guy
Fight him hand-to-hand and you will surely die
Up the ranks they made him fly
They always pushed the boy
Oh my, my Ender is this boy's name
"Buggers coming" so he's learning – lessons all are a game
To save the world he told his sister goodbye
Saying "Valentine I'll write you, don't cry"
"Valentine I'll write you, don't cry"
Now he finally got his own army
A couple vets but mostly Launchies
He made them all the best they could be
He fought other armies with little flaw
Estranged all his friends but gained all the awe
And made some dangerous enemies
Oh the I.F. was impressed of course
Could he beat the buggers at their source
Bonzo attacked the kid
Intervention Graff forbid
Because Ender had in him Peter
And he had fought Stilson before
Graff had to prepare him for war
So no one helped the boy
Oh my, my Ender is this boy's name
"Buggers coming" so he's learning – lessons all are a game
To save the world he told his sister goodbye
Saying "Valentine I'll write you, don't cry"
"Valentine I'll write you, don't cry"
Ender and Graff went back to Earth
'Cause Ender had lost all his self-worth
Three months long was their whole stay
Ender commanded the third war
It took five days, that long, before
The fleet blew the bugs' planet away
And in the end the buggers died
Petra broke down and some pilots fried
Dr. Device was smoking
Ender's heart was broken
Alai and Bean I liked the most
They consoled Ender and gave a toast
They all went home and left Eros
And left behind the boy
Oh my, my Ender is this boy's name
"Buggers coming" so he's learning – lessons all are a game
To save the world he told his sister goodbye
Saying "Valentine I'll write you, don't cry"
"Valentine I'll write you, don't cry"