A/N: So this story is inspired by the song 'Demons at the Door' by Sleeping Wolf. Please leave a review :)
Dear Diary, Tell My Story For Me.
Dear Diary, or however you start such things. My name is Sophia, I'm sixteen years old. I've never had a diary before, but I need something to record my days in. It's been, what, a month? I don't even know. About a month since I lost everything I had. A month since zombies started walking these grounds. It may sound crazy, but it's true. A deadly virus- or rather half-deadly- broke out and infected every human being on earth. Long story short; if you die you become one of them.
Anyway, this wasn't what I wanted to write. I want this diary or journal or whatever this is to tell my story, because I fear, that maybe one day, I'm not able to tell it myself.
My story start with a school trip. It was nothing special, just a hike in the mountains while you learn about nature. Yay. It started out okay. I was having fun with my friends until the guy I had a crush on tapped me on my shoulder, asking me to follow him into the woods for a second alone. I followed him and he was about to ask me to be his girlfriend when hell went loose. We heard yelling coming from the little camp we set up and soon the first zombie came into view.
I rushed over to the camp. Instinct kicking in as I looked for a weapon to defend myself. I helped as many people as I could, but for most of my classmates it was too late. In the attack I lost my crush.
The survivors and I then tried to survive for a while, looking for people that might help us. It was useless. We found no one. After a while food and water became a problem, people started to turn against each other, and soon we started to loose ourselves. Every zombie attack brought down another of our group. That went on for a while until I was the only one left. I saw my best friend turn to a zombie and lost her.
That's how it went on for a while. I found some people I could trust and one by one they would die until I was the only one left. I've seen many deaths, I've killed too many, I've seen too much. I may have survived a month, but inside I'm as dead as the zombies around me. The only thing that keeps me going is my family; my mom, my dad, my little brother. I need to find them, and if they've turned as well, then I'll join them. I have nothing to live for if they're dead. But until I know for certain I keep going.
Nothing will stop me from getting back to my family.
"Hey Pan! Look what we have here!"
Sophia slowly opened her eyes, immediately reaching for her daggers. As soon as her eyes focused she saw a boy looking down at her. His face was covered in mud and perhaps even blood. He did have a smell of iron rooming around him so she guessed that there was indeed blood. In a swift move she sat up and had her dagger against the throat of boy.
"Who are you?" she hissed at him, pushing the metal deeper in his skin. The boy simple smirked before pushing her away roughly. He was strong, but not as strong as her. She wanted to attack him when both her arms were grabbed tightly. Behind her were more boys, grabbing a hold on her until she couldn't hurt any of them.
She was lead down the stairs of the attic she'd been trespassing. Last night was rough and this was the safest thing she could find to rest her body. Apparently it wasn't as safe as she thought.
Down stairs she was brought to the living room and they threw her to the ground. She glared at them as they backed away. As she sat up she noticed that she was surrounded by boys and men of different ages, heights and species. It were to many to fight on her own, she was clearly outnumbered.
She looked every men in the eyes, searching out the killers between the softies. Then she came across a blond boy, about the same ages as she was. His face was cold, expressionless. In his eyes shone nothing, as if there was nothing but the greyness of his iris. A scar ran across his face, starting between his eyebrows, down the bridge of his nose and stopped on his left cheek. The hood over his head shadowed a part of his face, making him look more dangerous and mysterious.
She was still staring at the boy when someone cleared his throat before her. Her eyes snapped away from the blond to the boy standing in front of her. This one had brown hair, green eyes and also about her age. He raised an eyebrow at her which she mimicked, tilting her head as well.
"Who are you?" the boy asked. Sophia pushed herself off the ground, smirking at the boy in front of her.
"Sophia Jones," she said, holding out her hand. The boy looked at her hand, keeping his arms crossed. "Never mind. So, who are you?"
"We are the Lost Boys," the boy answered gesturing around him. "and I'm Peter Pan."
Sophia rolled her eyes. "Seriously? Are you really that big of a fan of Disney?"
"Names are a powerful thing in this world. Telling yours wasn't a smart move."
Sophia looked down, biting her lips before meeting the eyes of 'Peter Pan' again. "I have no one to protect. What use is a name that has no meaning?"
Out of the corner of her eye she saw the blond shift, raising his chin just a bit. Her attention snapped back to Pan as he stepped back.
"You're right, you're no one." Pan looked back at the blond, beckoning for him to come. "Felix, take her to the shed until I know what to do with her."
"Wait, what? Why not just let me go? I'm sorry I sneaked into your house, but I just needed a place to sleep for the night. I promise I'll never come back," she said, glaring at the blond, Felix, as he approached her.
"We can't just let you go. Like you said; you broke in our place. You could have brought a whole horde of zombies with you and get us all killed in our sleep. You need to be punished for that."
Pan turned away from her and Felix stepped forward, grabbing her arm. She looked him right in the eye, trying to get a reaction out of him as she stayed glued on her spot. He pulled at her arm, but she didn't make a move to follow.
"Start walking," he said in a low growl, narrowing her eyes on her.
"You'll have to carry me," she growled back, matching his tone. And so he did. He kneeled down and swung her over his shoulder. She tried to wiggle out of his grasp and hit him on his back, but it was no use. He just kept carrying her like it was nothing. He took her out the house into the backyard of the giant house. Felix opened the shed and put her down inside, blocking the opening with his body. His hood had fallen off when he put her down and revealed feathers and beats braided in the right side of his hair.
"Stay," he said in a demanding tone.
"What is he going to do to me?" she asked before he closed the door. Felix lips twisted just a bit up as he looked away.
"Worry about that after you survived tonight." Felix closed the door behind him, locking it. Sophia didn't know what he meant but if it was to scare her, than he was doing a miserable job. It wasn't like she was easily scared anyway, not after what she had seen.
Hey my Diary friend, it has been a while. The last few days have been more hell than ever. I accidently broken in by a group of boys who call themselves 'The Lost Boys' and the leader calls himself Peter Pan. Crazy right? Anyway, they took my stuff, including you, and I couldn't have it back until now. I had to survive in the shed for a few days without weapons, food, water or even daylight. It was Pan's way of finding out how tough someone was. All the boys in the group had passed that test. I was the first girl to pass it though. But it took me a while to get their trust. Pan was still mad for trespassing so I had to be punished (according to him). But after all that, they accepted me and now I'm the first official Lost Girl.
It's nice in here. The house is big, the boys are nice (most of them) and there is always plenty of food to eat. It is almost too nice. I know I can't stay here. I know that one day everything will go wrong. I know that I can't get to attached to any of these boys. I know what is at risk. I know that I'll see them all die if I don't leave now. So my plan now is to build of some of the strength I've lost during those days in the shed and be off again. I won't steal from them, I have plenty supplies of my own. They need it harder than I do anyway.
Other than that there is something else I want to tell you Diary, it's one of the boys. I'm not saying his name. Names can be used against you, so since we are in the Disney genre anyway let's call him Scar. There is just something about him. Ever since I've been accepted he has been ignoring me and if I didn't know any better I say he is avoiding me too. I must sound crazy, we're in the middle of the apocalypse and I'm talking about a boy. I know it's stupid, but there is something in Scar's eyes that I can't shake off. At first I thought they were empty, but the longer I spend time with him the more I recognized myself in them. He was a fighter, just like me. The only thing that he didn't have was something to fight for.
I've learned much since the apocalypse started, I've encountered many people with different looks in their eyes, but none of them shared my look. Of course, there were always fighters, always survivors, but there were never like me. They didn't continue when it got hard, they hurt the people they cared about to just live a day longer. No, that's not me. I'll kill if I have to, but I'll never hurt the people I care about. I'll never give up until I reached my goal. I'd rather be alone than betray my friends. And that is exactly how I ended up alone. I care to much, which will lead me to my death. So I stay alone.
And that was exactly what I saw in his eyes. The need to fight, to survive, but to not lose another loved one. I wonder what he'd seen, what he'd gone through. But most of all, I wonder if he'll give up when all of this is lost.
I guess I'll never know.
It was late, outside completely dark. It was the perfect opportunity for Sophia to sneak out without anyone noticing. All the boys were asleep. Sophia gathered at her stuff and silently sneaked down the stairs. Not many zombies were around these parts of this quiet town and she was grateful for that. She could come far tonight. The sky was clear and there was no wind that blew her sent around, which could attract zombies. She could be back on track before she knew it.
She carefully unlocked the back door, walked through and locked it behind her again. She made her way to the shed, holding one hand on her cutlass just in case. On the shed was a puzzle lock, not really the best choice if you asked her. Luckily she knew how to solve it, but it still took more time than she wanted to waste.
"Leaving already?" a deep voice said from behind her. Sophia jumped, turning around and unsheathing her cutlass, pointing it at Felix.
"Felix," she breathed, lowering her cutlass. "What are you doing here?"
"I could ask the same of you," he countered, stepping closer. His face was expressionless like always, but something shone if his eyes that she couldn't place. "Why are you leaving us?"
Sophia sighed, sheathing her cutlass again. "I thought you would be the one to understand why."
"I do understand. Let me ask it differently; for what are you leaving us?" Again, something flashed in his eyes. She just couldn't understand what he was trying to do, why he was even interested. Wasn't he the one who always avoided her? The one who gave her the cold shoulder? What had changed?
"Why do you care?" She turned back to the shed door, continuing puzzling with the lock.
"Because the chance that they're dead is- " he started but she cut him off.
"I know what the chances are, but they're the only thing I have left to live for." For a second she stopped, thinking back of her mother, father and little brother. She missed them so much. The thought of seeing them at least one last time was enough to make her leave a safe place like this behind.
"And what if you don't find them? What if they're dead?"
She turned her head to look at him, smiling slightly. "I think you already know what."
Felix clenched his jaw. "Then I'm coming with you."
Sophia's eyes widened in surprise. "What? Why? Why would you come with me?"
He smirked a bit, walking closer to her and took the lock out of her hands. In less than a second his had it open. "I think you already know why."
Diary, Diary in my hand, can something that is broken still be mend?
"Hurry up, they're coming!"
"I'm trying to, but this stupid thing won't start!"
Sophia looked behind them, seeing a horde of zombies coming their way. They'd found a car that was still functional. They were able to find gas as well, the only problem now was that they had to start it. The zombies came closer and closer. It was rather hot today, which made the zombies faster. Sophia was losing her patience as they were approached from different sides of the road.
"Let me," she said, pushing Felix away and started fiddling with the screwdriver in the keyhole. With a few tries the car started. She sat back again, smiling proudly at herself. "Now get us the hell out of here."
"If the lady wishes so," Felix said with a teasing smile. Sophia stuck her tongue out at him. Felix put his foot on the accelerator and they started riding. They went faster and faster. Sophia couldn't help the laugh that escaped her as she opened the window, letting the wind blow in her face. It had been so long since she been in a driving car. Sure, she had hide in a few, but they were standing still.
"This is amazing," she laughed as she sat back again, looking at Felix. He was smiling as well.
"Just to warn you, I've never driven a car before," he said, gripping the steering wheel so tight that he knuckles turned white.
"You're doing pretty good for a first time." She placed her hand over one of his. "Just relax a bit more, we'll be fine."
Felix let out a long breath, his body visible relaxing. She squeezed his hand before letting go and grabbing her bag that she threw in the back when they got in. She grabbed her diary and put her bag between her feet.
"Does the radio work?" she asked, flipping through the pages of her diary.
"Don't know, let's find out." Felix pushed the on button of the radio and to their surprise it started playing music. "There's still a disk inside."
"Must be, I don't think radio stations keep going in a zombie apocalypse."
They were silent for a while, enjoying the music. Felix was tapping his fingers on the rhythm of the song while Sophia wrote in her diary. "What are you writing?" Felix asked after a while.
"Just what we did yesterday and today," she mumbled, biting on the end of her pen before continuing.
"Can I read it?"
Sophia looked up from her diary, raising an eyebrow at him. "What is there to read? Most of the things I write down you experienced yourself."
"Exactly, at the moment that was how I experienced it, but how did you?" He did have a point there.
"Okay, what do you want me to read to you?"
Felix hummed, thinking for a second. "Just do a random day."
"Like…?"
"Day 41."
Sophia flipped through the pages until she was at day 41 and started reading. "'Dearie Diary, haven't written in you in a while.'" Felix snorted. "What?"
"Nothing, just thought it sounded funny."
Sophia slapped his arm and rolled her eyes, then turned back to the pages. "'You must wonder what happened since the last time I wrote in you. It's wasn't particularly fun. Scar and I-'"
"Scar?" Felix asked, glancing her way and raising his eyebrow.
"That's you. Names can be used against you, it's to keep us both safe."
"But why Scar?" he asked with a frown.
"You know, Lion King, Disney. The group where we met was called The Lost Boys and the leader was Peter Pan. I was in the Disney mood when I gave you a nickname," she explained.
"Ah, but I only see fitting that I give you a nickname as well now." Sophia laughed, shaking her head.
"Well, while you come up with a nickname, I'm going to continue reading. Or do you want me to stop?"
"No, no, don't stop on my account." Felix turned his head to smile at her before turning his eyes back to the road.
Sophia cleared her throat, shifting a bit while bringing one of her legs up to her chest. ""Scar and I were walking through the woods when we were ambushed by another group of survivors.'"
"I remember that," Felix interrupted again. Sophia shot his a halfhearted glare at which he just gave her one of his adorable innocent smiles.
"'These survivors took us hostage. They thought that we were part of a bigger group - which we weren't - because we're teenagers. I knew exactly what kind of people they were; merciless survivors. The kind that does everything to survive, no matter how many lives it may ruin or pain that it may cause. We tried to tell them that it was just us, no one else, just me and Scar. They didn't believe us. Of course they wouldn't. Anyway, they brought us to this large farm with electric fences and enough food to feed at least five family's for a few months.
'We were about to be taken to a creepy looking stable when suddenly a nice old lady walked over to us. She apologized for her sons behaver and invited us to stay on the farm. How sweet you might think, but I still had the feeling something was off. I told Scar about my feeling, so to calm it, he suggested we investigated the place a bit. Everything looked fine at first, but I knew what kind of people they were, I knew what I saw in their eyes.
'A few hours before dinner a few people stumbled upon the farm. They were hurt badly and we tried to help them as best as we could. We brought them to the house and the old lady brought them into a room, saying that she would take care of them. It wasn't really a lie, but it wasn't what we expected she would do.'"
"Why did you stop?" Felix asked when she didn't continue. Sophia shook her head, trying to smile at Felix. He didn't buy it, and placed his hand on her knee, rubbing circles with his thumb. "It's okay, you don't have to continue."
"No, no I'm fine," she said, the smile coming easier now. She took a deep breath before continuing. "'While I waited for dinner Scar came to sit beside me. He noticed that I was worried and like always tried to calm me. We talked about different things, but-"
She stopped suddenly, feeling her cheeks warm up as she glanced over to Felix. His hand was still on her knee, rubbing circles. "But what?" he asked, glancing her way.
Shit, he wasn't supposed to know what she wrote here. How was she going to save herself out of this? "But… nothing. Uhm…" She felt her cheeks become warmer as she read through the pages. She had written a lot about him that day, how could she forget? Why did she write about him so much at all? They were mid-apocalypse! She should be writing about zombie attacks and almost starving to death, but no, she had to have three freaking pages about Felix and his grey eyes in one day.
"Give me that." Before she could react Felix snatched her diary out of her hands, holding it before him and started reading. "'But I didn't really pay attention. I just felt myself melt in Scar's eyes the longer I started at them. It brought me back to when we first met-'" Sophia tried to grab her diary back but he held it out of her reach. Well, if she leaned over she could grab it, but she knew that would probably get them killed, and by the looks of it he knew that as well. "'-His eyes were stone back then, but they were the same as mine. And now, now that I look at them again, I see more. He still had the eyes of a fighter, but they were softer, especially when he looks at… me.'"
Felix smirk fell as he continued reading for himself. Sophia sat there in silence, waiting for his reaction. This was so awkward, he was reading her soul thoughts right now, and she could do nothing but wait. When she wrote this it was the first time she admitted that she may feel something more for him than just friendship. If he didn't feel the same than this could change everything between them. She was stupid for writing it down.
Suddenly Felix closed her diary, giving it back to her and stopped the car. Sophia closed her eyes, he was going to throw her out for sure. In the world where they lived right now was no room for feelings and love and all that shit. It may even be dangerous to have feelings, to really love someone. She would understand if he threw her out and just drive off without her. Love makes you stupid, and stupid is the last thing you want to be in a apocalypse.
She took a deep breath through her nose and opened her eyes again. Felix was staring at her, but she couldn't make out any emotion. "I- I'm sorry," she said eventually.
"For what?" he asked, his voice not giving away any emotions.
Sophia tried to swallow the lump in her throat. "For…" She sighed, looking anywhere but at Felix. "I'll just leave, it's bet-"
Before she could even finish her sentence Felix moved forward and had his lips pressed against hers. The surprise soon left her as he started kissing her deeper. She hands made their way op his neck and into his hair automatically. His hand cupped the side of her face, angling her head just the right way. Man, he was a good kisser.
He then pulled away, but stayed close to her, breathing her in while she did the same. "Be mine forever," he said in a breathless whisper.
"Forever."
Sweet Diary of mine, I think we are close to the end. Scar and I made it to Storybrooke, my old home. We're in the woods right now, high up in a tree where zombies can't get to us, waiting for the daylight to welcome us again. But I'm afraid. I'm afraid what the morning will bring. I've come so far, and now I'm almost at the end. What if my parents aren't there? What if they fled to somewhere safe? I hope they made it to a safe place, then maybe I could find them one day. But what if they're not safe? What if this night was their last and I was too late?
But that isn't the only thing that's bothering me. The people in this town, I know them all. I don't know what will happen if I see them as zombies. I've encountered many before, but not this many familiar. I know I should kill them when I see them, they don't deserve to come back like this. The only problem is; I don't know if I can do it.
Scar keeps telling me that everything will be fine, that we'll find my parents and little brother, but the closer we get to them, the more I doubt his words. I try to stay positive, Scar almost forces me to, but I can't help the negative thought that invade my mind. You already know them, so I won't bother repeating them.
There is something else though, that I want to talk to you about. If they really are dead, what then? I've asked it before, and I've answered it the same way every time; I'll probably won't go on. But something has changed, I have someone.
Scar.
My Felix.
Sophia unsheathed her cutlass, Felix his long dagger, as they slowly entered the town. It was quiet, almost to quiet. It pained Sophia to see the town like this; abandoned and empty. She was grateful that Felix was here with her, because if she had done this alone she was sure she would have broken down.
They slowly walked through the streets, staying alert. The walked passed Granny's, the diner everyone in town knew. Her eyes teared up and she quickly looked away when she saw a dead corps before the diner with a knife sticking out of her head. It was one of the waiters that Sophia have come to know a few weeks before the apocalypse started. Felix took her hand, squeezing it slightly, letting know that she wasn't alone in this.
The further they walked through the town the more dead people Sophia recognized. Sophia tried to remind herself that it was better for them to be dead than to have become one of them, but still it hurt to see them.
They rounded a corner and came face to face with a zombie. Felix let go of her hand and immediately attacked, piercing his long dagger right through its skull. The body of rotten flesh fell lifeless to the ground as Felix pulled back his dagger out of its skull. Sophia would have helped if it wasn't for the fact that she knew the zombie.
"No," she whispered, not being able to hold back the tears as she fell to her knees.
"Sophia, are you alright?" Felix asked, kneeling down beside her. Sophia shook her head, a sob escaping her as she let her trembling fingers comb through the golden hair of the rotten body.
"Sh- she's my- my mom," she said in a broken whisper before closing her eyes and falling into Felix arms. Felix held her tightly, rubbing her back as she sobbed into his shirt.
"Sshh, it's okay. There's still hope. We still haven't found you father and brother, I'm sure they're fine," he whispered into her ear, kissing the top of her head. Sophia tried to push the sadness away. He was right, there was still hope, they could still be out there somewhere.
She straitened herself, wiping her eyes with her sleeve while avoiding looking at her mother. Felix smiled at her, kissing her forehead before standing. He helped her up, a look that she knew all too well in his eyes. It was the look that gave her strength, the look that reminded her that she wasn't alone.
"I want to bury her," she said eventually. Felix just nodded. They next few hours they spend making a worthy grave for her mother. They had gone to her house, which was empty for most part, and gathered her painting supplies. With those she had made a headstone for her mother that read:
In loving memory of Emma Jones.
A wife;
A daughter;
A friend;
A mother.
Sophia placed flowers on the grave, closing her eyes as a tear fell into the dirt.
"I'm sorry Mom, I'm sorry I couldn't save you," she whispered, wrapping her arms around herself as she stood again. Felix wrapped his arms around her from behind. She leaned against him, needing his support now more than ever.
The only thing she could think about right now was her father and her brother. She wanted to know if they were okay, if they were safe.
She wouldn't stop until she knew.
I buried my mother today, Diary, so don't expect much. I knew this could happen, and it pains me to know that this isn't the end. I still have my brother and father to find, and the thought of having to bury them as well makes me want to puke.
Sometimes I'm jealous that you, a simple book with empty pages, don't feel anything. I may be writing to you like you're real, as if you could talk back, but I know you won't, I know you never will. And still, here I am, writing down every day since I first found you. I wish I was a simple notebook, hearing the stories but not having to experience them, not having to experience the loss.
But wishes rarely come true.
I just hope my last one does.
Sophia's eyes shot open when she hear soft growling. She immediately reached for her cutlass and sat up. She was in her old room, in her old bed, Felix beside her. She moved to look out the window above her bed, not seeing anything or hearing anything. She sat back again, loosening her grip in her cutlass just a bit. Felix was still sound asleep on his stomach beside her, his arm on her lap because she had sat up. A small smile formed on her lips as she brushed some of Felix hair out of his face.
But then she heard the growling again. She placed her hand on Felix shoulder, shaking him roughly. "Felix, wake up," she whispered, keeping her eyes trained on the door. Her eyes have gotten used to the darkness by now, which she was grateful for.
"What is it?" Felix groaned, pushing himself up with his elbows as he yawned, rubbing his eyes. The growling came again, and Felix was up in less than a second. They both slowly got out of the bed. Sophia walked over to the door as quietly as she could, pressing her ear again it. She could hear the growling clearer, the zombies' trudging as well. It was just one to her relieve. She looked at Felix, holding up one finger. He nodded, and she turned back to the door. She zombie slowly trudged further away from her room. Sophia wondered how it had gotten in since they locked the house and checked all the rooms before they went to sleep.
"Follow my lead," she whispered to Felix. She got her cutlass ready as she slowly opened the bedroom door. She wanted to walk up behind the zombie to kill it when she saw someone else already doing that. She held her breath, holding up her hand behind her to signal Felix to not move a muscle as she watched the man.
With a sudden and swift move the man cut right through the head of the zombie with his blade. Sophia's eyes snapped to a zombie that suddenly came rushing over to the man from behind him.
"Look out!" she shouted as she rushed out the room, cutting off the head of the zombie and kicked it down the stairs. Felix was at her side in a instant as they came to face the man. "Graham?"
"Sophia," Graham said unbelieving. He laughed as he sheathed his blade, walking over to her and hugging her tightly. "I can't believe it, you survived."
"I did," she said, hugging Graham as tightly as she could. He was her mother's boss, the sheriff of the town and one of their closest family friends. She pulled away from the hug, stepping back and gesturing toward Felix. "This is Felix. I met him a couple of month ago and he helped me. Felix this is Graham, you can trust him."
"Nice to meet you, Felix," Graham said with a smile. "Although I wish the circumstances were different."
"Vice versa."
"So Graham," Sophia started. "What are you doing here?"
"I patrol the town every week to see if there are any survivors that might cross it. I noticed the grave of Emma and recognized your handwriting so I went to look for you. I'm sorry." Graham's expression turned sad. Sophia nodded, biting her lip and looking down for a second to keep back her tears.
"Do you know if my brother and father are okay?" she asked hopeful.
A smile spread across his lips. "They are. They're back at the camp, and you are welcome to join us."
"Really?" Sophia couldn't help the laugh that escaped her. She looked back at Felix, seeing him grin as well. "My father and brother are okay. They're safe, Felix."
"I know, and you're going to see them soon," Felix said. Sophia felt overjoyed. She wrapped her arms around Felix neck, while he wrapped his arms around her middle, burying his face in her neck. She pulled back from Felix, turning back to Graham.
"When do we leave?"
"Right now." Graham stepped over the body and walked down the stairs. Sophia took Felix hand, enlacing their fingers as they followed behind him. She could help but smile the entire way. Apparently this camp wasn't far from the town. Graham led them to the gates who opened for them. Sophia's heart was pounding in her chest as she walked inside. She was going to see her father again, her little brother. She hasn't felt this happy in weeks.
Both Sophia and Felix stared in wonder around them. This camp was massive. As they walked she passed familiar faces who smiled at her or waved. She couldn't keep her own smile off her face the more people she saw. Graham stopped before a closed door, gesturing for her to enter.
"They're in here," he said, giving her a encouraging nod. Sophia looked at Felix who nodded at her as well.
"I'll be right here," Felix said, leaning down and kissing her soundly. "I love you."
"I love you, too," she whispered back before pulling away. She turned to the door, taking a deep breath before opening it. Inside she saw her father and brother. Her father was sitting on the edge of her brother's bed, his back turned to her as he softly sang to Liam. With a bit of hesitation she stepped inside. "Dad?" she said in a small voice.
Killian immediately stopped singing, slowly turning to her. As she saw his face she could see that he hasn't shaved in a while, bags were under his eyes, but as soon as he saw her his whole face lightened up. "Sophia," he whispered, standing immediately and pulling her in a tight hug.
"Soph!" Liam said, crawling out of his bed, walking over to her and started hugging her middle. She laughed as she ran her fingers through her brother's messy curls while hugging her father tightly.
"I thought I'd never see you again," Killian said as he pulled back, cupping her face with one hand as he looked at her with tears shining in his eyes.
"You have no idea how long I've been looking for you," she said, still barely believing this all was really happening. But then her face fell a bit. "But mom…"
Killian nodded, smiling sadly. "She threw herself in front of one of those bloody creatures that was about to attack Liam. She got bitten and turned a couple of days later. I should have been there to protect her, I know, I'm sorry."
"No dad, I'm sure you did everything you could. Mom knows that as well." She hugged her father again, burying her face into his chest. "I gave her a proper grave."
"Thank you."
When she pulled away again she kneeled down to hug her little brother properly. "I've missed you, little sailor."
"I missed you too, Soph," Liam said as he hugged her as tight as his little arms could. She pulled back, ruffling his hair as she stood.
"Dad, there is someone I like you to meet." Her father raised an eyebrow at her as she walked out of the room, only to return with Felix. "Dad, this is Felix. Felix, this is my dad."
"Nice to meet you sir," Felix said, holding out his hand. Killian eyed him warily, straitening himself and crossing his arms while lifting his chin.
"What do you want from my daughter?" he asked. Felix smile faded as he slowly let his hand fall back to his side, his face turning a bit red as he swallowed.
"Dad!" Sophia gave her father a look as she took Felix hand, enlacing their fingers. "Felix is the one who helped me get here. He protected me, saved me multiple times. He loves me."
"Is that so?" Killian asked with a raised eyebrow.
"Yes sir," Felix said a bit more confident, straitening his shoulders. Killian smiled at the boy, dropping his 'overprotective father' look and held out his hand which Felix took.
"Well, anyone who protects my little lass is a friend of mine."
Sophia rolled her eyes, but she smiled while doing so. She rested her head against Felix shoulder, looking at him as he introduced himself to her Liam. At that moment Sophia couldn't have felt happier.
Dear Diary, I'm sorry I haven't wrote in you in about a year or so, and I'm sorry that I only write in you when something bad happened. I really tried to keep up, but then I forgot or I was just too tired and I told myself I would just write the next day. The next day became a week, the week became a month, and before I knew it a year had passed without me writing in you. So, I'm sorry.
I'll just start with the good things that happened over the past year. You already know that I'm reunited with my father and brother again. The four of us (my father, brother, Scar and me) have had a peaceful life over the past year. Or as peaceful as it can get in an apocalypse.
Things have changed between me and Scar as well. One night when Scar and I were just lying in bed and I couldn't sleep he held me like he would always do. Normally he would tell me stories or just softly sing until I fall asleep, but that night was different. He'd been acting different the past few days and that night he told me why.
He told me he wanted to marry me.
There wasn't one doubt in my mind when I told him yes, that I wanted to marry him as well. It's crazy, really. I only just turned 17 and he's 18, we're way too young to get married. But still we knew we both wanted this. He even asked my father for his blessing, which he gave. Scar did look a bit pale after that conversation though. Poor thing. We decided to wait another year, until I'm 18, before really getting married.
That's the funny part; we thought we still had at least another year.
We hoped we had at least that.
But that is life living in the apocalypse; you never know when your last day will be. I forgot about that. The last year has made me soft, naïve. I thought life would just go on like this, that I maybe had a chance for a future. Just my little family and me in the camp. A happily ever after.
I can't believe I had become that naïve, because the exact opposite happened. We were attacked by a large group of survivors who had run out of food. We fought back and won, but out walls are damaged and we lost strong men. The worst part is that a horde of zombies is heading out way. Normally they would just pass out walls and nothing special would happen. Scar and I once went to stand on the walls and threw rocks at the zombies. It was so much fun to see those blooded dead creatures look around them in confusion when a little rock hit their head.
But this time it's different. There are holes in our defense and we can't repair them before the horde passes. Many people are panicking, saying that we're all going to die. I try to keep myself from believing them by writing in you. I just want to tell you that I'm scared. I'm scared that I'm going to lose the people I love again. I'm scared that my little brother will be the first one to get attacked. I'm scared that my father will try to save him and get himself killed in the process. I'm scared that I'm going to lose my Scar to those creatures.
But most of all, I'm scared that I'll end up alone again. Alone with too much weight on my shoulders of my dead loved ones. I'm scared that this time, without something to live for, I'll die alone.
"Felix?"
"Yes?"
Sophia closed her eyes for a second, taking a deep breath before opening them again, staring ahead. It has been two days since the zombie horde attacked the camp. Two days since she saw her father. Two days since her world came crashing down again.
When the zombie horde passed everyone thought that luck was on their side and that the zombies won't even notice the holes in their walls. That was until they smelled living flesh. A little girl not much older than Sophia's brother got to close to the walls and attracted the first zombies inside. Everything after that was a blur, it just went to fast. Sophia and Felix fought side by side like they always did until there were just too many of them. Killian helped them escape for the woods on the other side of the camp with all the other teenagers and children. Her father stayed behind that day, and Sophia couldn't let go of the feeling that practically ate her up inside.
I should have done more, I should have stayed.
"What now?" Sophia looked at Felix. He was holding Liam, who was soundly sleeping. She wished she could just sleep like that. Just sleep though this all, and wake up when the world was normal again.
Felix squeezed her hand, smiling softly at her. "Now we keep going. Find a new place where we're safe."
"And after that?" she asked quietly.
"We're going to live again instead of surviving."
Sophia looked down. Felix said it like it was so simple, as if no one was lost. She knew that it bothered him not knowing if someone survived or died just as much as it bothered her. He was just better at staying positive, which you wouldn't expect from him. It was one of the reasons why she loved him. He kept her going, and every once in a while he would show her that there was still beauty in this all. That there is still hope, if you know where to look. She didn't know if she would have come this far without him. They were a team.
"Hey," Felix said softly, making her look up at him. "Everything is going to be alright."
"You always say that."
"And am I not always right?" Sophia snorted, rolling her eyes, but smiling while doing so. "We'll get through this. One day when we're old, sitting on the porch of our old house that we bought after this all ended, we're going to look back and we're going to laugh. Because despite all our losses and all our pains, we wouldn't have found each other if it wasn't for all that."
She smiled up at him before resting her head against his shoulder. "I just wish that Liam could grow up in a normal world. He doesn't deserve this."
"No one deserves this, and still it happened."
They stopped, quickly looking back when they heard someone scream. It was one of the older girls in the group. Sophia's eyes widened when she saw zombie for zombie appearing in the distance behind and beside them. She looked back at Felix, who saw them as well, and tightened his hold on Liam.
"Run!" he yelled. They didn't have to be told twice as all the kids started running. Sophia and Felix were the oldest of the group, they had to keep all the kids safe, which now that she thought about it was impossible.
Sophia unsheathed her cutlass, slicing the head off every zombie that came to close to one of the kids. Some of the older teenagers had a weapon as well and could defend themselves, but the little ones needed protection.
"Stay close!" she yelled, hoping that the little ones weren't too scared and would listen to her. It wasn't like she could carry them and fight zombies off at the same time. Felix on the other hand still had Liam safe in his arm as he killed the zombies they passed.
When Sophia looked ahead again she saw a building. The closer they came the less trees they passed. The building was an old abandoned barn shed. She fastened her pass, trying to block out the screams around her. She knew they lost a few kids, it was impossible to save them all.
"Everyone to the shed!" she yelled. When she and Felix reached the shed they pulled open the doors as quickly as they could, letting all the kids inside. When they thought everyone was inside and were about to enter and close the doors they heard someone scream for them. Felix and Sophia looked behind them, seeing a little boy on the ground crying as the zombies started to surround him.
Sophia didn't hesitate a second as she ran to the boy, her cutlass ready in her hand. "No!" Felix tried to grab her wrist, but it slipped out of his fingers. He couldn't go after her since he still had Liam in his arms, who had woken up a while back and was starting to panic if Felix didn't calm him.
As she lunged forward she swung her cutlass, killing every zombie with a simple strike. When she came close enough she picked the boy up from the ground and quickly turned. As fast as she could she made her way back to the shed. The moment she was inside Felix shut the door behind her, locking it. Sophia sank to her knees, placing the boy on the ground while Felix made sure the shed was indeed safe.
"Are you hurt?" Sophia asked the little boy gently, wiping the tears on his cheeks. She was still breathing heavily from the run. The boy pointed at his ankle, but didn't say anything. Sophia moved so that she could examine the ankle. She sighed in relief when it was simple a twisted ankle. He didn't got bitten.
"I think this place is safe for now," Felix said, approaching her. "And this little guy wants his sister."
Sophia smiled, standing and taking Liam from him. Felix kissed her forehead before turning to the hurt boy. Liam hugged her tightly, and she hugged him just as tightly back.
"It's okay, it's okay," she cooed, rubbing his back before turning to the group. "Is everyone alright? No one bitten or hurt?"
Most of the children were still in shock so Sophia went to all the older kids, telling them to check the younger ones for injuries and see who they had lost. After everything had calmed down a bit Sophia sat down next to Felix on an old crate. She let out a heavy breath as she readjust Liam on her lap.
"How many?" she asked quietly, not looking at Felix.
"Five," Felix said just as quiet. "Two girls and three boys."
"How old?"
"Soph-"
"How old?" she repeated in a much more demanding voice, finally looking up at him. Felix looked at her for a moment before he sighed and looked away.
"Six, two of seven, nine and twelve." Felix looked back at her, worry shining in his eyes. "Don't do this to yourself, Sophia. It wasn't your fault, you did everything you could."
"I know." She closed her eyes, leaning back against Felix shoulder while holding Liam tightly. Felix slipped his hand in hers, enlacing their fingers, while kissing the top of her head before nuzzling his nose in her hair. "I love you," she whispered, squeezing his hand.
His arm came around her back, pulling her and Liam closer to him. "I love you, too."
Diary, much has happened. Scar and I got the group of kids on a safe location with another group of survivors. Don't worry, these people were good people, much like the people from my town. After we had built up some strength be made out way back to our old camp. I hated that I had to leave Liam there, but I had no choice. Someone had to go back and see who survived.
And who didn't.
We arrived there and were shocked to find the whole camp empty. But to our relief there were no zombies and not many dead bodies of people we knew well. Scar suggested that we would leave a note and stay here for the night before heading back. So here are we now, in our old bed with our thick sealed door. Scar had already fallen asleep about an hour ago, but I couldn't seem to close my eyes. He's so sweet when he's asleep. I don't know what it is but I love seeing him sleep. When asleep he's fully relaxed, the weight on his shoulders lifted for just a few hours. He looks younger, less troubled and innocent. He doesn't deserve any of this.
He once told me how he got the scar across his face, and to my surprise it was before the apocalypse. Scar told me how he got beaten often when he was younger, how it made him strong and a fighter, but how it also left a scar on the inside and outside. A few days after the apocalypse started he saw the boys that bullied him and the people that mistreated him as zombies. I asked him if that felt good, if what happened to them made him feel better.
He told me it didn't.
He said that he wouldn't even wish your worst enemy this fate. He said that he had forgiven these people for what they had done to him, because if they hadn't, he wouldn't be here right now, with me, alive. So he's thankful for the horrible youth he had, and that makes me wonder in what kind of hell we have ended up in.
Why can't out story be just boy meets girl?
Sophia hummed as she felt kisses being pressed against the back of her neck. Felix warm hand ran down her arm, stopping when he reached her stomach and pulled her closer to him. Sophia turned in his arms, slowly opening her eyes while letting out a sigh through her nose.
"Good morning," he said, his voice still a bit thick of sleep.
Sophia ran her fingers through his hair. "Has been a while since I was woken up like this."
Felix chuckled softly before leaning in and kissing her soundly. "That's because we haven't had a quiet moment in a while," he said, his voice low and soft, causing her to shiver. Felix chuckled before he started kissing her. He rolled her onto her back, kissing her deep while his hand sneaked under her tank top, slowly caressing her skin. Sophia let herself completely melt under his touch, and let herself just enjoy this moment together. Just the two of them. No zombies, no losses, no pain. Just a boy and a girl who fell in love.
Sadly that moment was shortly lived then a loud noise could be heard from the door. They both looked up at the door.
"What was that?" Sophia asked. They heard the loud noise again.
"Don't know," Felix mumbled, getting off of her and out of bed. Sophia caught his wrist, making him look at her.
"Be careful," she whispered. Felix smiled down at her, taking her hand and kissing it before making his way to the door. Sophia sat upright, holding her breath and reaching for her cutlass as Felix slowly and carefully opened the door.
The second he opened it growling noises could be heard from the other side. Felix tried to push the door close again, but the zombies on the other side were pushing against it as well. Who knew dead flesh could be so strong?
Sophia didn't hesitate a second as she rushed out of the bed and helped Felix push against the door. They pushed as hard as they could. Eventually they were able to close and lock it. Sophia let her head fall against the door, closing her eyes as she tried to calm her breathing.
"We're trapped," she breathed, opening one eye to glance at Felix. "but how? The wave of zombies wasn't supposed to come for another two days."
Felix shook his head. "I don't know."
"Could you see how many there were?"
"Too much."
Sophia sighed, reaching over and taking Felix hand in hers. "It'll be fine. We just have wait until tomorrow, they'll be gone by then."
Felix turned his head to look at her, smiling as his free hand came up to caress her cheek. "I know, we'll be just fine."
I fear this is my last message to you, my dear Diary. The zombie horde is still here, we have no food or water left and the door is starting to give in. We tried several times to escape, but every time there were just to many to handle on our own. The days seem to last shorted, the nights turn colder, scar and I grow weaker. I'm scared that this will be out end, but not because we could die tonight, it's because I never get the chance to marry my Scar, that we have no chance of a future anymore. He tries to stay positive, but I can see in his eyes that he knows our fate as much as I do.
So my dear Diary, I write to you one last time, and if this isn't my last than you'll hear from me again, but for now I want to say thank you and goodbye. Tonight will be the night where Scar and I break out and try to fight our way through. The chance that we'll survive, that we end up lucky, is slim. But we have more chance of surviving that than if we stay here.
So goodbye my dear friend, and to whoever might find you, this was my story.
This was our story.
"Lay your demons at the door
This is what we're fighting for
Trying to clear the air but nobody's talking
We've been breathing this disease
Trying to find a way to see
The end is in your eyes
Let's finished this tonight."
Demons at the door by Sleeping Wolf.