an: inspired by someone I love dearly. Harris Fisher is 18, Massie Block is 16.

when we were young

It was breaking her, tearing her soul into what seemed like a million different pieces causing the thoughts in her mind to scatter into so many other thoughts, so many other possibilities. It was breaking her and ripping out her innards and felt like heartbreak, but worse - so much worse. Sobs wracked her thin figure and she was trying her best to hold back her tears, but it wasn't working - it just wasn't working. She hadn't been cruel to anyone and she always tried to be the nice little girl who always followed the rules. She had a seemingly perfect life and they were the perfect couple and they knew that they were meant to be together, they just had to be.

"Harris," she whispered as he held her in his muscular arms. "I don't want you to go."

"I don't want to leave you," he replied, sorrow steadily making its' way into his usually strong and steady voice. "You have no idea had horrible I feel for having to do this to you, Massie, but I love you and I will always love you. No matter what happens. I'll always care about you and you'll always mean something to me. I'm just so sorry that this had to happen. You know I didn't plan on this happening. I never knew that it was going to happen."

She couldn't blame him, really. She knew that Harris had always wanted to be in the military. His father had been in the military before him and his father before that. It seemed like a family tradition, but Harris' younger brother Cam, who was in Massie's year, didn't seem like he wanted anything to do with the military. Regardless, Massie didn't want him to go. She didn't want him to leave, to break up with her.

"I'm sorry, I'm selfish," she breathed.

"Don't be, you're lovely," he replied with a small smile as he held her, wishing that they could be like this forever. "I'm the one who should be sorry. I'm leaving for five years and I can't guarantee you anything." Harris checked his watch quickly, knowing that he was pushing it. He heard his mother honk the horn to their car outside of Massie's house and Harris slowly extracted himself from her. "Massie," he started, not wanting to do it but knowing that he had to. "I won't be able to have any contact with you for three years and everything that I do, well it won't be controlled by me anymore."

"What are you saying?" she asked, her eyes watching him wearily.

"I'm saying that...that I need this job and we can't-we can't be together anymore," he replied, looking away from her. He hated when she looked upset.

"What?" she exclaimed, pain and anger playing clearly on her face.

"Massie," he said, trying to calm her down, "at the moment, things are happening that are out of my control. I've never lied to you and I'm not lying now. I hate this. Seriously. it's just the way it is and I don't know! I'm sorry! I don't want this to happen but it has to. Please believe me when I say that I never wanted this and I feel horrible and I do still love you."

"Why did you wait until just now to tell me?" she shouted furiously. She couldn't believe that he was doing this to her. They had to stay together, they just had to, she thought.

"I didn't want to hurt you before. I didn't want to spend my time on leave with you upset with me," he replied sheepishly.

"Ask me to wait for you," she begged with a mixture of love, hope, and fear in her eyes. She didn't want to let him go just yet. He meant so much to her and she couldn't bear to let him simply walk out of her life the way he was about to. "I love you, Harris, and if you ask me, I'll wait for you, however long it takes - forever, even - just ask me to wait for you. Let me know that you still want me, that you still love me. Ask me to wait for you because we'll get together again. When this is all over. Just ask me to wait for you!"

Harris didn't turn around - he wouldn't be able to bear it - so he simply stood there, rooted to the spot and unable to move. He felt the familiar stinging in his eyes which meant that tears were threatening to fall and he couldn't let them, he couldn't let himself break now of all times; he just couldn't let himself fall apart in front of the girl who needed him more than anything else in the world, because then they'd both be in hysterics and he couldn't have that. Harris took a long, deep breath before turning to look at Massie's feet and told her in a small voice, "I can't do that."

"And why not?" Massie asked defiantly, trying to make Harris look her in the eye. "Why the hell can't you ask me to wait for you, huh? Am I not good enough to wait for you or something? I'm your bloody girlfriend and I'm in love with you. I can wait for you, Harris, if you'll just let me," she pleaded as she walked towards him and latched onto his arm. "Please."

Harris combed his fingers through his barely-there, military-style hair and sighed wearily, a defeated look on his sallow face. "Because, Massie," he whispered, "I-I might not come back. I can't have you waiting for me when there's a chance that you'll never see me again. It's not fair to you, Massie, and I love you, I do, but I can't do this to you because I love you." A small flicker of pain crossed his face and he pulled his arm away from her. "Please, Massie. Please don't make this harder than it already is. I don't think I could possible take anymore pain." Harris quickly made his way towards the door and out of this place. He was hurting so much and he knew that if he saw her face right now, that look of utter despair and grief, he would break down right then and there. Knowing that she, herself, was breaking at that moment, however, Harris turned to look at the ground beside her again and whispered, "I will always love you."

Thunder roared and Massie could barely hear his retreating footsteps as he exited the house, leaving her alone, sobbing on the floor of her living room and cursing herself before ripping a diamond encrusted necklace off of her neck and throwing it across the room. She instantly regretted it and dove off after it, tears still streaming down her face, and held it in the palm of her hand like it was the most precious thing there was.

"I'm sixteen years old," she said coldly. "What do I know about love?"

long time no writing, you guys. I missed you all and I hope that you're enjoying this. Reviews are cherished and concrit is like treasure. I wrote this because there are enough stories out there that involve high school drama and there aren't enough Marris fics out there.

-merc.