A.N.: Hey! I'm back to the world of Fanfiction! After a year…Sorry, life's just been messed up as per usual. And well i'm FINALLY free of school and have lots of free time on my hands. This story is different. Don't read if you don't like stories that end in the perfect happy ending. Warning: This will be a sad story. I don't plan on this story being long; this is more of an experiment. I haven't written in a while…Any text that's in italics is what someone is thinking. I'm sorry this chapter, most of the dialogue is taken from the actual episode itself.

Summary: This takes place during the Season finale of VD, during the episode As I Lay Dying. There's some…complications that occur. I won't spoil it for you. You have to read to find out….This story is mostly surrounding Elena. Any problems of other characters will be just a background story. I don't plan on there being much of Katherine, Klaus and Stefan. Like I said this is Elena's story….

Disclaimer: I don't own vampire diaries, yada yada, you guys know the drill.

Chapter 1: As he lay dying…

"Hey, hey. Its okay, its okay", I said as I patted the cloth on his sweat soaked face.

"Its not okay, it's not okay", was his faint whisper.

I never realized how much it would hurt to see Damon this way. How easily I could forgive him for all his faults. An emotion was pressing itself to the surface; one that i've been trying to keep submerged for a long time. This emotion, threatened to hurt not only me, but Stefan in its wave of torment. I didn't want that to happen. I cannot be like Katherine. I will not be like Katherine. I am not Katherine. Therefore I can't go on leading both brothers on. My first choice was Stefan, and I will not change. As much as my heart craved Damon with an intensity that any mere look at him, I fall to pieces inside. No, I cannot have him. Under any circumstances, it's just not fair…

Even in his delirious state he somehow managed to be everything i've ever wanted. Everything i've ever needed. I just wished I realized this sooner…

"All those years I blamed Stefan, he never forced me to love her," he paused taking short gasping breathes, "It was my own choice."

"Shhhhh."

"I made the wrong choice…" He looks up at me with those piercing blue eyes. The vulnerability, the pain, the suffering was killing me from the inside out. I couldn't let myself betray my emotions but my calm façade was almost impossible to keep now.

"Tell Stefan i'm sorry." I nodded. I blinked back the tears threatening to spill over. I know Stefan was getting the cure but I had a sense it wouldn't get here on time.

"There's still hope", I murmured, barely able to contain my tears.

"I deserve this….I deserve to die."

H-how could he believe such a thing? He is the last person who deserves to die. I'm tired of everyone judging Damon for his faults. After all, Stefan was just as bad as he was. It wasn't his fault Damon now has a stone wall guarding his heart, and keeping his emotions from pouring out. It was Katherine's. All of it was Katherine's. I wish she had never stopped by Mystic Falls. The damage she caused Damon is irreparable….If only everyone would see him the way I did.

"No…no you don't Damon", I whispered back heartbrokenly.

"I do Elena, and its okay. Because if I had chosen differently I wouldn't have met you." I turned to him. My heart screamed to tell him i'm glad I've met him. That I loved him. That I love him more than Stefan. Always have, always will.

"I've done so many things to hurt you Elena."

"Its okay I forgive you", Damon nothing you've ever done changes the fact that i'm in love with you...

"I know you love Stefan….." No I don't Damon. I love YOU. It's always been you, I wanted so badly to tell to him.My throat choked up and I couldn't even mutter a whisper. I just nodded and lied down next to Damon. My beloved Damon…oh if only I would have met you first…

"Elena, I love you…" I could hold back the tears no longer. Silent tears trailed down my eyes to my cheeks like raindrops down a window sill.

"You should know that", he said with his eyes closed.

I sniffed and nodded into his chest. "I do…I know."

"If only met me in 1864. You might have liked me." He was wrong, so incredibly wrong. I LOVED him now, just the way he is. I love him for all his faults, his sarcasm, his goodness, I loved him entirely.

"I like you now," I replied, looking into his ocean colored orbs. "Just the way you are."

There was a small smile on his lips. Then he closed his eyes. Tears began to free fall. I planted a small kiss on his cold lips. I cuddled up in his limp body, and whispered I loved him. If only he could have heard me…But it's to late now. Sobs quivered threw my body, making me shiver violently as if I were in a snow storm. I felt as if I were kicked in the gut and staked threw my heart. I shattered like glass, breaking as it goes down. Whets worse is I never had the time to tell him my feelings. You know that saying? The one that says it's never too late for anything? That's the biggest bullshit i've ever heard. I felt as if my parents had died all over again. Not my surrogate mother and biological father. My real ones. The parents of mine who died in a car crash, leaving Jeremy and I in the care of our aunt, Jenna. Accept she's gone too. I've lost almost everyone i've ever cared about. Now my friends and Jeremy are all that's left. I don't love Stefan, and I regret it took me this long to find out. I really am like Katherine aren't I? Toying with both the Salvatore brothers. I wish I could take it back but I can't. I'm no better than her…My world is crumbling. No…my world is destroyed. People say it gets better in time. I have a feeling that I will never get over my beloved Damon…My heart clenched as I glanced at his ashen face. My sobs came harder and harder. The last I remember was the sounds of my crying echoing in the room and spots danced before my eyes. I love you Damon Salvatore, I thought as I slipped into the black abyss.

A.N.: Phew! You have no idea how hard it was to write that! I'm such a sap; I was basically holding back my own tears writing this! Well comment and tell me what you think…I plan on this being some more chapters, but to be honest, there's not much i'm gonna write. I think this might be 2 more chapters possibly…Like I said, this isn't a happy story. Its ending isn't the ideal happy ending….Hope you enjoyed it.