You are my love
Prologue
There are two things held by every person alive that keep us moving forward; that give us the strength to get through our day-to-day routines and endure the hardships that we encounter. They are our hopes that the future will somehow be brighter than the present and the dreams of living a happy life with the people precious to us. Few of us have achieved this, yet we can carry on because we have something to pursue.
Craig Dean knew this well. Ever since he'd moved to this city, he'd spent a lot of time thinking about the nature of the world.
On the day he'd left his old home behind, the light in his heart had been shining brighter than ever before. All the dreams he'd been accumulating over the past months and years were finally going to be fulfilled. He was in love with a wonderful man who returned his love with equal measure. They'd talked so often of leaving their old home behind and now their chance had finally come.
But all too often, something unexpected happens and every one of our hopes and dreams are taken away.
They'd packed their bags. They'd booked the tickets. They had been all set to leave and start a new life in a city far away. Everything from the past was supposed to have been forgotten. Things should have been different. No one knew them in this city. Nothing would stand in their way anymore. There would be nothing to remind them of all those bad times.They were supposed to have a second chance. But in the end, John Paul wasn't strong enough to leave behind the life built for him. He was scared that his dreams would go unfulfilled no matter where they went.
John Paul, the only person he'd ever truly loved, the person he wanted to spend the rest of his life with, turned and walked away from him. Craig wanted so badly to chase after him, tell him just how much he loved him so he would stay. But when he turned to look at him last time, the love that used to shine so brightly in those beautiful eyes was replaced by such intense hatred.
It's a difficult thing to accept. Nobody wants to live their life with such heavy sadness hanging over their hearts.
He got on the plane, not looking once at the empty seat next to him. He'd gazed at his new home from the taxi window. He'd collected the keys to his new flat and walked into the place that should have been theirs. Only then did the harsh reality strike him.
All he'd ever done to John Paul was hurt him, and yet he still kept on saying he loved him as if it was enough. As much as John Paul hated him, it didn't even come close to how much he hated himself. It tore him apart but it still wasn't enough. The pain was unbearable but he still deserved more for what he did.
That had been months ago but the feeling still hadn't left him. He wandered the streets almost in a daze. He spent the long cold nights gazing at the empty space around him. No one knew him in this city. There was no one for him to cry to or to comfort him. He was truly alone.
Why does no one ever teach you what to do in such a bleak situation? Should you keep walking through the darkness, lost and alone with the slim chance that somewhere you'll find a new hope to cling onto? Or should you give up and end the journey to save yourself the pain?
These were just some of the thoughts that raced through Craig Dean's mind on the day he ended his life.
This is the first Hollyoaks fanfiction I've written and the first fanfiction I've written in a long time due to school and now university. This is based on a piece I wrote for my prose studies assessment (I'm studying Creative Writing) so some parts are better than others since I literally spent hours going over them. I hope you enjoy it anyway.