Chapter One: Not Actually A Chapter But Really A Long-Winded Explanation.

Right. This is the re-edited, re-vamped, re-everythinged version of Antlers. A long time ago two girls (Sophie and I) decided to write a piece of fanfiction just because we had nothing better to do with our time. We spent ages on it and it ended up being not all that bad. However, things changed. It never ended up being finished as we both discovered boys and then Pie and I split ways and sort of fell out. Long story.

But the point is, lately I've been bored as I have no life. So I sat down at my computer and pulled out the whole Antlers… The first thing I thought was "Oh god. This is terrible, terrible writing."

So what did I decide to do? Completely re-write the huge fat piece of fanfiction that is; Antlers. Expect shorter chapters and better grammar. Don't worry, you'll still have the same giant fluff-fest, there will be no plot whatsoever, only this time… I might actually update once in a while! That'll be nice now won't it?

So, that's pretty much the end of my ramblings. I'll put in a bit of Sophie's commentary, because it does give a lovely background into the world of Antlers.

Hi. I'm not really a reveiwer. I'm Pie, the infamous co-author. Spanky submitted this, and then told me, which is why I'm a bit late in adding my commentary.
Thankyou so much to everyone who actually even reads a TINY bit of this. Its soo long. Antlers at the moment is 119 pages, and there are a whole heap more chapters after this, so Sazz will post them soon, hopefully. I will be amazed if anyone actually reads the whole thing so yeah...

A few things-

Explanation about the name:
Antlers started after Spanky and I read HP5, and fell in love with the flashback Marauders scene.
Around the same time, Spanky found a hilarious fanfic called "Do Antlers make you Horny?". We decided to do a fanfic based around Sirius and James, and it started quite shalowly, when I claimed James, and Sarah claimed Sirius and Remus (then told me I was left with Peter). So the title of Antlers was originally "Antlers make Sophie Horny", but I protested, and so it was shortened.

The thing with Antlers is that it has no plot. Plus, after almost a year (July 24th) of writing and 100+ pages, it's only a week and a half into school. But An entertaining and eventful week and a half, I should hope.

The name Iseult comes from...Arthurian Mythology!
Iseult was the daughter of the king of Ireland, and was supposed to be very beautiful, as well as a good healer. She was engaged to the king of Cornwall (I think) when she met Tristan, a noble young knight. (Sierra's brother is called Tristan, but this was a coincedence of Sazza using names that I've used before. There is no connection between the two characters. That would just be creepy.) Anyway, Tristan and Iseult fell in love, which was forbidden because she was about to get married. She got married, he pined for her, and also got married. (Strange)
Eventually, Tristan got very ill, and he knew that only Iseult could heal him. He sent a message to her to come to him, and told his wife to watch at the window for his ship which would bring her to him. If the ship had white sails, it would mean that Iseult had come to heal him, if it had black sails, it would mean that the ship had returned without her.
The ship returned with white sails, but Tristan's wife, Elaine (again, I think) lied out of jealousy, and told her husband that Iseult had not come. Tristan died of sorrow, and when Iseult arrived and learnt of his death, she died of a broken heart.
But really, I just thought the name sounded pretty. Also, Iseult's French, and Morte D'Arthur was french. Her sisters, Ysabeau and Guninvere, are named after Arthurian characters as well, Guinivere obviously was King Arthur's wifer, and Ysabeau was her sister in some versions. Olivier is just a random French name. Peregrine, Iseult's last name, Peregrine, comes from the Peregrine falcons which fly everywhere around Queenstown, where I go to ski :).
Other names in Antlers with Historical/Mythological significance-
Alessandro Corbeaux-
Alessandro (spelt with two L's by sarah because she cant spell) is the Italian (I think) version of Alexander, and was on a poster in our Latin classroom last year :) Corbeaux is the French word for Blackbird, and that was on a poster of animals in my FRENCH classroom. I just cant stick to english, as anyone who read the first chapter will have noticed.
You wont have got to the quidditch teams yet, but i'll post them to make sure that you are all reminded of what a smart-arse I am. (sorry, couldnt resist)
Nike Green - Has nothing to do with the fact that she is jamaican, and is not named after the label. Nike (pronounced Nik-kay according to Mr Flemming)was the greek goddess of Victory.
Will Scarlet, Quidditch captain - Will Scarlet was one of Robin Hood's merry men!
Jacques Morrigan - Jack! Jacques was just a cool, french name, and Morrigan...I think its something to do with...To be honest, i'm not sure really.
Others-
Sandy Canyon-For taking the piss out of a guy we once knew at tennis called Sandy. Sarah told him that Sandy was a girls name.
David Jones-If you are Australian or a New Zealander, you will know that this is the name of a department store in Sydney.
Sierra is just a generally cool name, dont you think? Go sazza for that.

FINALLY-
There are various mentions of people we know (especially in reference to marrying filmstars)such as Kate and Elijah, Sarah Blue and Orlando, Arena and Johnny Depp.
Sarah Blue, is of course, Spanky (Lucky cow, wish I married Orlando...) . Spanky's real surname is not Blue. I had a daydream, around the time when I was writing the bit where they first enter the great hall, where I was randomly on Oprah. And I was talking about who inspired me to write books. And I started talking about my friend "Sarah Blue". And all the audience jumped up, and said "YOU KNOW SARAH BLUE? THE GREATEST WRITER OF ALL TIME? OH MY GOD!" and so the interveiw slowly drifted towards all the famous people I knew.
I tell that story to everyone so that when Sarah is rich and famous and has changed her name, I can charge her lots and lots of money to say that i predicted it and that she should pay me to predict more things in future.
Really sorry for ranting. Nobody will read this. Wonder how long it is.

Anyway
Bye, lots of love and thanks to you guys who review, whether you read my rant or not.
Fondly,
Sophie/Pie/Iseult and Friends.
(seeing as we all know that Si and Ise are really just who Saz and I would like to be, really.)