I never was going to keep you waiting for long for this.

If you've only just found this I really recommend you read Season 1 and 2 before starting this...

So this is set 3 months after the finale in Season 2 and as I said in that one this whole season is already planned out so just sit back and enjoy!

Disclaimer: I own nothing

Clarke glared at the mountain standing in the distance looming over the lake she was sitting in front of. The sun would soon disappear behind it but she didn't care. Sitting in the shade of an old tree Clarke could see across the clearing and the expanse of lake she had come across just a few days after leaving the mountain.

There had to be something she was missing.

She narrowed her eyes at the mountain as if her stare alone to could force it to reveal its secrets. Three months. Three months to do the day and they were still no closer to finding Lexa. The nights had drawn out longer as the temperature increased and Clarke realised that the New Year must have passed but with their focus set on the mountain it had passed without celebration. At one point Monty and Raven had suggested celebrating only to be shot down by glares from Jasper, Bellamy and Octavia as Clarke walked away. Jasper wasn't speaking to her. He blamed her for Maya's death and she had long since fallen into her own pit of despair over those she killed in mount weather. After returning from the mountain she had left immediately without saying goodbye to anyone though she was only four days into her excursion before she realised how unprepared she was and returned dejectedly to camp Jaha. Though her search for Lexa never ended the more time passed the more despair settled in and when Indra announced the search for the new commander she had broken down. Though, despite her own disbelief in it, she took comfort from the fact that their search so far had not yielded any results. Lexa was still alive and that was all it took to fuel what was left of her fire.

Clarke closed her eyes and dragged in a long breath. Without Lexa she felt a sense of loneliness and loss that she hadn't expected though she wasn't the only one. Anya hadn't left Camp Jaha since their return, Octavia and Lincoln spent most their days looking slightly out of place amongst the Arkers and Clarke couldn't help but feel that Lexa would hate what they were doing in her absence. Anya claimed that until they found the next commander she wouldn't be needed in peace times but Clarke took an interest in how much time the grounder spent locked away with Raven. One month after they left the mountain Anya had finally agreed to train Clarke if for nothing more than to have something to do and give Clarke a purpose. The council had taken back control and there was a definite sense of misplacement amongst what was left of the 100 despite Kane trying to find them all a place in camp. Clarke didn't miss the way Monty flinched over everything, nor the way Jasper's eyes were hardened all the time, Miller spent most of his days with a dazed expression and Monroe as well walked around with a hardened expression. Clarke herself spent most of her days either in the medical centre or here at the lake avoiding the others depending on how she felt that day.

Clarke sighed as the last glimpse of the sun finally disappeared behind the mountain and she closes her eyes for a moment enjoying the cool air slipping over her as the evening drew in. She was still struggling to get used to the sounds, smells and touches of the Earth. Something other than the never ending darkness of space was a welcomed sight.

The snap of a twig caught her attention but she didn't bother turning around knowing that the war was over and there was no longer a threat for her to fear. Still she probably should have been more on edge when it came to the possibility of wild animals attacking.

"So this is where you go"

She opened her eyes and looked up to see Octavia standing over her. The youngest Blake was smiling at her but it wasn't the genuine one that Clarke missed so much it was the sympathetic, understanding one that people had become accustomed to wearing around her. It made her sick.

"Does this mean I have to find a new hiding place?"

Octavia collapsed on the ground next to Clarke and lightly tapped the blonde's shoulder with her own, "Don't be like that. We're just worried about you"

"Shame you weren't worried enough about Lexa" She said bitterly.

Octavia shot her an affronted look, "Hey that's not fair. We're worried about her but without a lead to go on we can't just abandon everyone to go on a wild goose chase for someone that we have no idea where to even start looking. Lexa wouldn't want that and you know it"

Clarke didn't reply but she didn't need to. Of course she knew what Lexa wanted of them… The commander had been prepared for death long before that battle but Clarke couldn't get the image of Lexa falling out of her mind and all the while she knew the grounder was still alive it was irrelevant to her what Lexa would have wanted. She was sat around camp Jaha doing nothing all day because after the war and Lexa's absence there seemed to be no real use for her. It didn't really seem a problem to Clarke if she went off for days at a time looking for the commander, they wouldn't notice her absence, but still Abby insisted that she was needed. Her mother was the worst of all. Abby had never tried to hide her dislike for the grounders and their commander so it didn't exactly come as a surprise to Clarke when she seemed unfazed by Lexa's disappearance but she thought Abby might have at least showed some compassion for Clarke's sake. No such luck. Abby had been the first to insist that Clarke wasn't going anywhere to look for Lexa.

"Is there another war?"

"What?" Octavia looked taken aback by the question.

Clarke rolled her eyes, "Is there another war? Are we being invaded? Has there been a murder?"

Octavia narrowed her eyes and said slowly, "No…" Not quite understanding where Clarke was going with this.

"Then you don't need me"

She let out a long sigh shaking her head at Clarke, "People need you whether you like it or not. Death isn't the only thing you're good for"

Octavia winced as she said it. Clarke raised an eyebrow and let out a bitter laugh, "Death. Death is all I'm good for"

"I didn't mean it like that…"

"But you said it" She pulled herself up from under the tree. Octavia wasn't going away anytime soon and now her peace was ruined there was no point her staying there, "And that's what everyone thinks. All I do is get people killed, like the grounders, like the people in mount weather, like Finn, like Lexa"

She spat out the last name and Octavia's eyes widened. The blonde turned on her heel and began the walk back to camp Jaha with the Blake hurrying after her.

"Nobody blames you for any of those things"

"Maybe they should" She muttered.

Octavia shook her head, "They may not like it but people do understand your decision in mount weather… We're past Finn and the grounders, both of which weren't your fault, but as for Lexa she's not even dead"

Clarke threw her head back and laughed desperately, "But everyone's acting like she is!"

"Okay" She nodded, "And maybe that's wrong but-"

"Maybe that's wrong?" Clarke turned to Octavia with a hard stare, "Maybe that's wrong? There's no maybe about it. It is wrong! Instead of looking for the next commander they should be looking for the one that's still out there and alive. You're one of them now Octavia, you're part grounder, and your commander is out there alive but you're not doing anything to help. You're here playing happy families with Lincoln"

It was a low blow and she knew it. Clarke knew she wasn't being fair to Octavia, to any of them, but she didn't care anymore. She was angry. Angry at Cage for taking her, at Indra for not trying to find her, at Abby for not doing anything, at Lexa for making Clarke leave her and angry at herself for not going back. Octavia was just there ready and waiting to take all of Clarke's anger and abuse that had slowly been building up for weeks as she sat around doing nothing; permitted to do nothing.

"That's not fair" Octavia spluttered, "That's not fair and you know it. I helped you sneak out of camp Jaha all those weeks ago… Who covered for you went you went missing? Who took Abby's anger for letting you leave? And who supported you even when you repeatedly put them down? Me! I want to find Lexa more than anything but there isn't anything we haven't already looked at Clarke. We don't have a lead and there is nowhere on earth that grounder or skaikru can think of that Cage would have taken her"

Clarke bit her tongue to stop her lashing out at Octavia again. The girl didn't deserve what Clarke was giving her but still the anger remained there and she wanted to find Cage if for nothing more than to put a bullet between his eyes. She rubbed her temple.

"I'm sorry O… I'm just so desperate"

"I know Clarke and I'm sorry that this is the way things are. You know if we had any idea where Lexa was that I would be the first person following you out of that gate"

Clarke nodded. She did know that and she greatly appreciated it even if there was such little hope surrounding the commander's disappearance.

The two came to a stop just outside the gate of camp Jaha. The light had gone now and they were lit only by the glow of the few fires littered around the camp. Clarke looked to Octavia desperately.

"I want to go back to the mountain"

"Clarke…" Octavia began to protest but she raised her hand to cut her off.

"Please Octavia. I wasn't there when you all went through it and I just have to do this is if for nothing more than for my own peace of mind and sanity. There might be something that you overlooked or there might be nothing but either way I have to know"

Octavia looked at her awkwardly and Clarke thought she would say no until the girl let out a long gasp of breath with a reluctant nod.

"Okay but after this it's done. Agreed?"

Clarke didn't think she would ever really give up looking for Lexa and she suspected that Octavia knew that however she agreed none the less. Octavia just shook her head in disbelief.

"What's done?" Another voice cut in.

Clarke turned around to see Raven, Anya, Lincoln, Bellamy and Monty walking towards them. Raven was watching them with a raised eyebrow.

"Clarke wants to go to the mountain"

Bellamy's eyes widened, "But we already searched there"

"You did" She nodded, "I didn't"

"You think they missed something" Anya was watching her with an odd expression and Clarke wondered if the grounder had the same idea.

"I do. Now I want to go back"

Bellamy shook his head, "You can't be serious"

Raven stared at him and shrugged, "Why not?"

He looked around at them all in disbelief, "You can't be serious? This is the mountain we're talking about!"

"There isn't a danger there anymore" Raven pointed out, "What harm could it do?"

Bellamy looked to Lincoln, "You can't be agreeing with this?"

"I don't see any problem with it"

"Neither do I" Anya added.

Octavia was watching her brother with narrowed eyes, "Why have you got a problem with it Bell?"

"I don't think we're properly thinking this through! This is the mountain we're talking about here. Clarke shouldn't have to go back there-"

"Don't patronise me" She snapped at him, "I'm going to break just by stepping foot in the place. If there's something that was missed then I want to know"

"You mum's never going to agree to it"

"Well no one is going to tell her until I'm gone" She eyed him carefully.

Bellamy looked as though he would protest but Raven gave him a stern look, "We won't say anything"

"I'm going" Octavia ignored Bellamy's noise of protest and looked to Lincoln, "I assume you want to help as well?"

"Of course"

"As do I"

Clarke looked up and gave Anya a wary smile. She had suspected the grounder would want to come but hearing her say it reassured Clarke that she wasn't the only one desperate to find Lexa. Raven looked slightly reluctant but agreed that she wouldn't be able to go with them and so will stay behind with Bellamy.

The group agreed to pull together a bag each of supplies and meet at the back of the fence (the electricity having long since been turned off since the battle of mount weather) to sneak out before anyone including the council noticed. Clarke stuffed her back with food mostly along with extra ammo for her gun which she strapped to her waist and sheathed the sword Anya had given her a few weeks ago. She had abandoned her armour in favour of a grounder's jacket and shirt long ago. Clarke pulled the jacket around her, lifted the hood over her face and crept out of the Ark to meet the others.

Hmmmm What will she find in mount weather I wonder?