Fruits Basket on the Maury Show
Tohru is pregnant, and no one knows who the father is. Is it Yuki, Kyo, or Shigure?
Tohru, Yuki, Kyo, and Shigure were in a television studio, sitting in front of a large audience. They were waiting for Maury, the host of the show, to come out. Tohru is pregnant and wants to be sure of who the father is, so she asked Maury to help her. And she asked Yuki and Kyo to go on the show with her.
--------------------Begin Flashback--------------------
Tohru had just announced to Yuki, Kyo, and Shigure that she was pregnant. "I'm not sure who the father is, Yuki or Kyo, and I was wondering if you would go on the Maury Show with me to find out", Tohru explained.
"Wait a minute, why am I not being tested? I want to be on T.V. too", Shigure whined. At that remark, Yuki and Kyo shot death glares his way. Tohru wanted to make everyone happy, so she said, "I guess you can be on the show, if you really want to."
"YES! Thank you, Tohru", Shigure replied as he stuck his tongue out at Yuki and Kyo. Then he said, "I've got to tell Aaya the exciting news, he'll be so happy!"
------------------End of Flashback------------------
Which brings us to the present. Ayame is in the audience, secretly hoping that it's not Shigure's and constantly texting Hatori to tell him what's going on (even though Hatori keeps texting back that he's watching it on T.V. with Akito and Kureno and to stop bothering him). Haru and Kagura are also in the audience. Kagura is bawling her eyes out because she doesn't want it to be Kyo's and Haru is prepared to go black if it is Kyo's and to comfort Yuki. Also, a very special guest is in the audience too. It's John Edwards! He's there to communicate for Kyoko, Tohru's mother.
One thing no one knew is that Akito was prepared to come also, but he had a fever so Hatori made him stay home. But he was watching it on T.V., with Hatori and Kureno by his side.
Finally, Maury comes out and the audience goes crazy. Clapping, shouting, whistling, so much noise, you can't even hear yourself think (and that's just from Ayame). Maury introduces everyone for the viewers and tells a little of their background. Then, it's time for the results…
Maury says, "Shigure…You are the father."
"YES!" shouts Shigure.
"NOOO!" cries Ayame.
"WHAT!?!" shouts everyone else.
Then, Kyoko appears behind Shigure, ready to wring his neck, and Tohru screams, "MOM, NO!"
Just in time, Maury announces "APRIL FOOLS!" and Kyo shouts, right in his face, "IT'S NOT APRIL FOOLS, YOU STUPID IDIOT!!!"
"Sorry…just trying to lighten the mood a bit. Geesh, though crowd", Maury replies, sullenly. "Nice try!" everyone shouts sarcastically.
"Now that that's behind us, Shigure, you are not the father."
Ayame shouts, "YES!" and throws his fists in the air, "Shigure we are free at last!" and then, him and Shigure go skipping out of the studio together.
Maury continued, "Yuki…you are not the father."
Haru came down to comfort him, when Maury said, "Kyo…you are the father." Haru went black immediately and he and Kagura both ran at Kyo and started beating him up.
Kagura was crying as she hit him, "HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO ME!?! I THOUGHT YOU LOVED ME!!!"
Somehow, Kyo finally fought them off and escaped, while Kyoko was trying to get John Edwards to get in and fight, but he wouldn't. Tohru was just happy that the suspense was over and that her and Kyo were free to live happily ever after with their still-to-be-born, baby.
So, that's the very stupid one-shot that my friend and I wrote while we were high on sugar. I hope you enjoyed it, please let me know what you think.