Guide Thy Blade by Sword
The turbolift opened into the front office of the East Hangar Bay 14, otherwise known as the Skywalker Bay. Jaina Solo had hoped to find Ben Skywalker down on this level. She had already tried looking in Paradigm Park, the 52nd Aerial Plaza, and various entertainment centers along the way, and no Ben so far. She thought then, where would a fourteen-year-old member of GAG squad spend his down time? She found out from the places where she had looked previously that she really did not know her cousin. It suddenly hit her to think of where a Skywalker would go in a time of crisis. She immediately headed to their Hangar. She hadn't known Ben to dabble in ship mechanics much, like his father had at his age, but she was sure to believe that there was a chance that Ben chose that activity to make himself occupied.
Especially considering the circumstances.
The funeral for her Aunt, mentor, Ben's mother, Luke's one and only, and her friend, Mara Jade Skywalker was scheduled the next day. Jaina had not let that in yet. She had a mission to leave for in a few hours that had a direct link to whomever murdered her Aunt. She had her time for sorrow. It was now time for action. The way Mara Jade would have wanted. It seemed fitting that Jaina was the one to set off to investigate the murder of her one time tutor in the Force. If it hadn't had been for Mara Jade teaching Jaina in her own way, and there was no other way with Mara Jade, Jaina may not be the same person she was at the present moment. Jaina was positive that Mara would be proud of her to take charge and taking action. It seemed the women of her immediate family did that more often than the males did after a crisis like this. Now there was one less woman in her family, yet one more to gain in the Force. Though, Jaina had heard that her Aunt's body had not faded into the living Force as of yet. She could postpone the mission. She could attend the funeral.
No!, she screamed at herself. If I see her in her current state, I may not be able to go on the mission.
She shook that thought behind her mind and started walking the short hallway that led to the hangar. She cringed because she knew which ship in particular would be docked there. Jade Shadow. She suddenly wondered what her uncle planned to do with it now. Was he going to sell it? Was he to keep it in the family? She secretly hoped the ship would go to herself. Her aunt trusted almost no one to pilot her ships, save for her husband and her niece. She made a note to mention that to Luke. Not now. Maybe when she came back from her mission. When all of this was over. Then again, is anything really over?
There was no one in the building besides the hangar attendant in the office, who didn't even look up from his HoloNet celebrity news to notice her. At this point, Jaina Solo had been recognizable enough to come through the Skywalker hangar without security checks. There had been a time not long ago when Jaina spent most of her time in hangars. Thanks to the court martial brought down by her former twin brother, she was denied that part of her life that she enjoyed so much. As her uncle would say, fate has a reason for everything.
Yeah? Tell that to Mara.
Coming around the corner of the corridor she spotted the golden form of See Threepio strutting towards her. "Hi Threepio." she called out.
"Oh. Hello, Mistress Jaina."
She winced. "Can't you pick a better title for me than mistress? It just doesn't sound good. How about Queen Jaina? I like that."
"It would be improper for me to refer to you as a Queen. As far as my knowledge, you do not have royal lineage in either of your families."
"My mother was once a princess."
"In name alone to be precise. The world of Alderaan did not possess such monarchies as Naboo or Hapes. They used their titles in a political manner only."
"My grandmother was Queen of Naboo as well."
"Yes, well that position was as an elected official. I am sorry, Miss Jaina, but without official documentation, I cannot give you the title of Queen."
"It's all right Threepio. It was just a joke. 'Miss' Jaina is better anyway."
"Now, if you were to marry a Hapan prince–"
"Never mind! I have enough men in my life to juggle. I'm looking for Ben. Have you seen him?"
"Why, yes. He is in the hangar working on Master Luke's X-Wing."
"Ben is working on his dad's X? When did he learn how to do that?"
"Oh, Master Luke has instructed Ben in the mechanics of his star fighter in the past. Perhaps Master Ben is finally taking an interest."
"Or he's making himself busy. Can't say that I blame him."
Threepio chose a sad tone to say, "Yes. Oh dear, oh dear. It is sad with Miss Mara Jade Skywalker's passing."
"I know."
"And Miss Mara Jade Skywalker was always kind to me, though we never spoke much together."
"Must you use her full name every time?"
"Well, it was instructed to me once by Miss Mara Jade Skywalker when I mistook her name to be just Miss Mara Jade and she then told me to forever refer to her as Miss Mara Jade Skywalker in full."
Jaina cracked the first smile she wore in days. "Yes, she would have."
"I did not think it proper to ignore Miss Mara Jade Skywalker's wishes."
"It was never wise to do so."
"Therefore, I shall continue to refer to Miss Mara Jade Skywalker as Miss Mara Jade Skywalker."
Jaina said with the same smile, "You do that." She sighed. "Threepio, for a droid, you sure have an amazing humanistic touch."
"Why, thank you, Miss Jaina. Or, should I say Queen-to-be, pending your marriage to a Hapan prince."
"Fat chance of that happening. My family doesn't have a good history with Hapan royalty. No, Threepio, just call me 'Miss'."
"Oh, I forgot, you do have your own title already. Sword of the Jedi, is it not?"
Jaina winced again at the memory of that title her uncle gave to her when she became a Jedi Knight. "Yes, I had almost forgotten it as well. I have decided it is time for me to remember it."
"Is there something wrong, Miss Jaina? I detect a sadness in your tone."
"Sadness is all around us now, Threepio. Sometimes I wish we lived in a galaxy where there was no sadness."
"I would not know where to look for such a galaxy, Miss Jaina."
"I don't believe it exists, Threepio."
"Well, if you will not be needing me any further, I am required to file this log sheet for the hangar to the attendant within 4.34 minutes."
"No, Threepio, carry on. It was nice to speak to you again. Talking to you always reminds me of my childhood."
"Thank you, Miss Jaina. If you will excuse me."
The droid went passed her and she proceeded to the hangar. She entered the vast area and immediately she remembered her days as a pilot. There was something as intoxicating as perfume to Jaina Solo about the smell of repulsor exhaust and hydraulic fluid. She walked in and saw that there weren't many vehicles inside. There were a few speeders and hovercrafts in the nearest corner. She looked back to the rear and spotted an old T-16 Skyhopper that was half covered by a tarp. She remembered Uncle Luke finding that for sale on the HoloNet cheap. He called it a classic while his wife had another choice word to call it. They argued about it off and on.
On the opposite rear corner sat the Jade Shadow. It was eerily in idle. She wondered when the last time her aunt piloted it. Then she wondered when it would fly again. Jaina could already feel the honor of taking it over. It was already named appropriately. She felt like she was Mara Jade's shadow.
In the center of the area sat the classic Incom T-65 X-Wing star fighter. She could only imagine all of the modifications that Uncle Luke had made to it over the years. She almost salivated at the thought of taking it up and test flying it someday. Her anger flashed for a brief visit as she remembered her new piloting license only including large craft, such as cruisers or cargo freighters. Star fighters were banned to her. Thanks again, Jacen, ol' brother.
Under the starboard wing was Ben Skywalker on a step ladder working diligently.
She approached him and said, "Hi, Ben."
He gave a non committal "hello".
"What are you doing?"
"Can't you see for yourself, or do you need a full description?"
Jaina sighed. "Oh, yes, you are my aunt's son. I meant why are you here? Aren't you on GAG duty?"
"I'm on bereavement leave for a few days. Thought I'd make myself busy." He reverted this back to her so casually. Almost too casual. He then stated, "And you're here because Dad asked you to find me."
"He tried your comlink but couldn't reach you."
"I turned it off."
"I see. And, well done in sensing why I was here."
"I could have done it without the Force."
"Which you've done before in your youth."
He stopped what he was doing and gave her a gaze for a second and then went back to work. He uttered, "I thought you'd be gone already."
"We're leaving in eight hours. Zekk is getting the ship prepared. I thought I'd visit your dad for a while. He needs all the company he can get right now. I just came from your apartment. He does need to speak to you." She gulped. "About tomorrow."
"You do know you're going to miss it."
"Yes."
"Mom wouldn't like that. She would want you there. Plus, I'm sure she would rather have you speak about her over Saba. Nothing against Saba, of course."
"I was never much of a speaker. That was one trait I didn't inherit from my mother."
"But, itz all right. Saba iz not good speaker, either," said Ben in a spot on imitation of the Barabel. They chuckled and Ben said in his own voice this time, "So, you're off with Zekk. Have an idea where to find Alema Rar?"
"We wanted to check in at Ossus base first to see what they have on her."
"Smart. And rather fitting. I remember Ossus during my first training."
Jaina nodded. "And Zekk isn't the only one going."
This time, Ben stopped working and stepped off the step ladder to say, "You, Zekk, and Jag? Please tell me you are recording the mission on cam. I would so love to see scenes of that trip on HoloTube."
"Shut up. Nothing is going to be on HoloTube because nothing is going to happen. All of us know this is a serious mission."
"So you say."
"So I know. We owe this to your mother."
That made Ben go back to the ladder and work again.
"I'm sorry, Ben."
He was still calm and serene. After a few moments, he asked, "Do you remember that holo-drama a few years ago that was based, or loosely based, on my parents?"
"Oh yes. I think people are still watching it to this day."
"There's probably people now getting it out and watching it after what was announced over the HoloNet the other day. That show portrayed my parents as this highly romantic couple who always had a lovey dovey moment during battles in which they always won."
"I remember that."
"Well, I never saw that couple. That couple never existed to an eight-year-old. The perception of my parents to the public was that they had this constant mushy romance. The reality was totally different."
"Theywere romantic. I saw it the first time they were together. And that was years before Luke proposed."
"Funny how you can see a romantic life in others but your own, cousin Jaina," he smirked.
"Oh, we're so not going there, cousin Ben."
"Sorry. Couldn't resist."
"Spoken like a true Jade."
He ignored her remark and said, "I'm not saying my parents weren't romantic. I'm just saying the public exaggerated it to an extent that was unbelievable to me. The public didn't understand."
"People sometimes need a break from reality, Ben."
"Oh, I'm all for a break in reality. But, as far as the exaggeration of romance where my parents were concerned, the public placed them on such a high pedestal because of what they have...had. A Force bond. What couple wouldn't want to feel their partner's emotions from across the galaxy? Whenever they felt bad, touch your wife's or husband's mind to feel assurance. That was missing in their lives and they saw Luke and Mara Jade as the ultimate couple. They brought on that fairy tale illusion and turned it into the notion that nothing bad could ever happen to Luke and Mara Jade Skywalker. Well, folks, say goodbye to 'happily ever after' because the big bad Tusken Raider has arrived to tear the hut apart."
"I don't think the general public believes in fairy tales anymore."
"Especially our families."
"What does that mean?"
Ben grimaced. "Come on...the Skywalkers and the Solos–the two most doomed families in the galaxy?"
Jaina looked at her cousin with a strange admiration. To be accepting fate at his age was extraordinary. "When did you become so grown up?"
Ben answered lightening quick, "At the exact moment I felt my mother literally disappear from me forever."
Jaina fought back tears when Ben suddenly yelped and the hydrospanner he was using dropped to the floor. She had to ask, "What exactly are you doing on the wing? You have the hydraulic line housing opened."
"Dad said the S-foil on this side was sticking. He never got around to look at it so I am."
"Why don't you call Artoo? He would know more about this. In fact, Artoo and Luke are probably the only ones who know this X-Wing inside and out."
"I think he's busy with dad, right now. I can do it. Dad showed me the basics last season once."
"Once? That's not enough with maintenance on S-foils. Let me look." She came over and bent her head down under the wing and inspected Ben's work so far. "Well, you detached the main coupler fitting all right. That auxiliary hose looks new."
"I had to replace it."
"Found a leak?"
"A small one. Probably nothing bad would happen immediately, but over time wouldn't it deteriorate to where the S-foil won't open?"
"On this side, yes. There's an exact housing like this on the lower wing. So, what was your problem before?"
"I couldn't get the hose tightened enough. It's not going in all the way. See, it's only half in and it won't budge any further."
"Oh, I see. Wait a minute. Ben...you put the auxiliary hose on the service line. And the auxiliary line has the service hose. You switched them."
"Blue line is the same as the black line for auxiliary, right?"
"On later models, yes. The Stealth X has the same configuration. They reversed them. On these older models, Incom used the standard blue for service and red for auxiliary. Don't ask me why. We had older pilots do the same thing in our squadron. It blew out their S-foil system and sometimes took out a wing or two. Good thing I was here before you tested it."
Ben cursed. "I'm sorry."
"You'd have been more than sorry if you would have had to explain to your father why his X is missing a starboard wing. Especially in his condition now. I think he's lost too much already this week."
Ben went over to the side of the X-Wing and leaned on it. Jaina felt a mix of frustration and guilt in his mind. She stopped and called out to him. "I'm sorry, Ben. Really, it's not that bad. All we have to do is switch them. No problem. Hand me that hydrospanner and I'll get the fitting back off." He reached to the ground to pick up the tool and handed it to her. She grabbed it and started loosening the bolts to the auxiliary hose first to get it unattached. Jaina felt at ease for the first time in months. She hadn't realized how much she missed working on ships until it was gone from her life. She finished with getting both hoses off and she switched the hoses back to their correct positions and she tightened them down. When she was finished with that, she reached for the fitting to place over the hoses. As soon as she put the tool on the fitting's bolts, she realized it was the wrong size.
"Ben, I need a ½ inch hydro and this is a ¾ inch. Could you fetch me one?"
"I left it over on the workbench. Be right back."
"Ok." She watched him disappear on the other side of the ship and decided to take a small break. She hadn't expected to work this hard today. She leaned against the ship and her eye wandered around. She spotted Ben's blue utility bag with his personal items inside. She saw that his good shirt was coming out and touching the dirty floor and she went over to put it back inside. When she did, something else inside caught her eye. Recognition found her with what it was. She remembered it from her time as Mara's student on the Jade Sabre.
Mara's personal vibroblade.
Curiosity got the better of her and she reached for it and took it in her hand. When was the last time she used it? Why did she just give it to Ben? Or had Ben just found it? She wouldn't get her answers immediately.
"What are you doing with that?" Ben snapped from behind her.
"I just saw this–"
"That's mine! Why are you going through my things? Give it back!"
"Did she give this to you?"
"Why do you care? I said give it back." Before Jaina could react, Ben lunged a her and seized her arm. The hydro tool he brought dropped to the floor and they struggled.
"Ben! I was going to–"
"Give it back!"
"Ok, just calm down. You're hurting me. Let go, or I can't release it to give to you."
Jaina's grip was slipping but Ben's arm jerked hers sideways and the knife went sailing across the floor a few meters from them.
Ben cried out, "Now look at what you did."
"What I did?" asked an exasperated Jaina. As Ben went to fetch the knife, she muttered to herself, "I can see genetics is playing a big part of your personality. Serene one minute and enraged the next."
Ben came back with the blade but was examining the hilt with the point directed at her. To an outsider, it may have looked like he was coming to stab her.
"I'm not going to stab you. And I'm not that enraged." He took a deep sigh. "I'm sorry I acted like that."
Jaina dismissed the apology for now and asked, "What's wrong with it?"
"Eh, part of the hilt cracked open, but...what the kriff?"
"Ben Skywalker! Such language."
"Sorry. It's just...there's something inside."
"Inside the hilt? What is it?"
"I don't know, but it's blinking."
"Blinking? Let me see."
He handed it to her with the point towards him and she took it to examine the damage. The hilt was made of a hard duraplast but the seam where two ends met was cracked open revealing a small space to look inside. It didn't affect the blade itself so it was still useable. She peered inside the crack and, like Ben said, there was a small white light blinking rapidly. It was just fast enough to send out a code. Sudden realization hit Jaina with full force.
"You said your mother gave this to you?"
"She did."
"Did she tell you anything specific, like keep it with you at all times?"
Ben took seconds to remember and came back with, "She told me to carry it and I hesitated saying I had my lightsaber but she said to humor her and I took it. She said it was the best vibroblade the Empire could buy."
Jaina shook her head. "You and your memory."
"Why are you asking? What is it?"
"If I hadn't known the facts, I would have said it was a comlink coder. Knowing that Aunt Mara gave this to you and that she would have never parted with this on a whim without a reason, I have to say differently."
What?" Ben exclaimed.
"It's a very sophisticated surveillance system. My guess is that it has a very long range. And typical of a former spy and assassin, she made it virtually untraceable." She moved it so that both of them could see the inside through the crack. "See that blinking? An average scan of this would dismiss this as a comlink code. It would read the code it was being fed with. But, the actual code would have had to be translated. And that could be a remote. Or a transponder."
"Transponder? You mean a tracking device?"
"A well hidden one at that. Clever, Mara. What better way for her to keep track of her son?"
Ben stared at the crack and muttered, "That's how she knew I was on Vulpter."
Jaina gasped. "Vulpter? Where Gejjin was assassinated?" It took Jaina two clicks and a look from Ben to figure it. "You were involved?"
"Kinda directly."
"As in directly allowing the sniper to get in position?"
"As in direct hit."
"Sithspawn!"
"Why, Jaina...language," he sneered.
"Don't start. It was Jacen, wasn't it? Jacen ordered you. And Mara knew, went to confront him and she would have beat Alema's position out of him in a heartbeat. Or Lumiya's."
"A heartbeat?"
"Ok, maybe they struggled."
"Jacen did look a little beat up by the time he reached Kavan."
"Right. Alema and Mara fought and...and..." She couldn't finish the sentence.
Ben relieved her of doing so and said, "And Lumiya took credit for it."
"That doesn't make sense. Whom did Lumiya take the credit from? Maybe Alema didn't do the actual...kill."
"She would know who did."
"Wow. Didn't know I was going to get another clue when I came to see you."
"That's fate for you."
"Spoken like a true Skywalker. Good thing the hilt split."
As soon as she said that, Ben's face went white and his expression went to horror. He started crying out, "No, no, no!"
"What? What is it?"
He fell to the ground repeating his unknown denial. "It's my fault."
"What? What's your fault?"
"Mom...she would still be here if..."
"If? If what, Ben?"
"I...I forgot...the blade..that night."
"Ben, calm down. What are you talking about?"
Ben breathed slower and ran his hand through his red hair. He swallowed and said, "That night when I went after mom in that shuttle, I left that blade under my pillow."
Jaina deduced it immediately. "Mara thought you were still here on Coruscant. Oh, Ben."
"If this had been with me, she would have known I was there. And she would have ignored the danger she was about to head into and come after me. She would have scolded me, but it would have been worth it. She would be alive."
"Ben, you don't know that. You can't know that."
"You think you knew her, Jaina? Honestly, if Mara Jade Skywalker was given the choice of going after her mark or saving her son, which choice would she consider the easiest?"
Jaina gave the look of someone who just lost a half million credits at Sabacc. He was right. Mara Jade Skywalker would have chosen her only child. Any mother would.
Jaina assured, "That still doesn't mean you should blame yourself, Ben. You didn't know about this." She raised the knife.
"Ishould have known. Why is it my cousin knew my mother better than I did?"
"That's not true, Ben. I have...had a special bond with my Aunt Mara as well. But that bond is nothing like the bond between a mother and son." Her voice started breaking at that point. She cleared her throat and continued. "You knew her better than you think."
"Easy for you to say. You still have your mother."
"And so do you, Ben."
Ben looked as though Mynocks were coming out of her ears.
"Yes, Ben, Mara is very much still alive and well. The difference now is that she no longer has physical form. She lives in here now." She jabbed at the middle of his chest. "And in here." She pounded her own chest. "Maybe you're too young to remember Anakin and Chewbacca. There isn't a day that goes by that I say to myself, what would Anakin say about something. What would Chewie do in this situation? They both guide my actions whether I know it or not. Just the same way Mara will guide you. Even now she is guiding you."
Jaina took a breath to maintain her composure before she continued. "Though as much as I loved Anakin and Chewie, it would not be half as hard if I lost my mother. After they died, I went to the Dark Side. I dueled Kyp and almost killed him. All because I couldn't control my grief. And my father...after Chewie died, the only relationship he knew was with a bottle of Corellian whiskey."
Ben said with dry humor, but his voice was still breaking, "I'm not going to take to the bottle, Jaina."
"No, but you can't hide from your grief, either. Isn't that the reason you're in here and not with your dad? Your dad needs you, Ben. Especially now."
"The way he has been in the past few days, I have to be the strong one."
"You don't have to be! We're not the Jedi of the Old Republic. They shunned any hard emotion. They pointed to the Force every time they felt pain, grief, or lust. You should know better than anybody that the Force isn't always the ultimate answer. We're a generation later and we are more humanistic. You have to allow yourself to grieve. You have to let it in so it can go through you and leave you with just its memory." She was speaking through sobs now.
Ben was also, but he was fighting it. "I...I can't...Jaina."
"You can, Ben. You don't have to be strong all the time. There is a Chiss saying that Jag told me once. The person who admits their own weakness is the wisest of all. I know you can let go, Ben. You are a Skywalker...and a Jade."
And that was the trigger that sent Ben into hysterical weeping. Jaina fell to the ground with him and embraced him hard as they both wept. As she held him, she said through tears, almost to herself than to Ben, "I never allowed this for myself when Anakin died. Or Chewie. I let my anger control my grief. I never let it out. Bottled grief can turn to anger, Ben. Don't contain it. We're more than Jedi. We're human."
The moment went on for several minutes and the only sounds heard through the empty hangar were their sobs. When they calmed down, there was one thought on Jaina's mind. Who is going to do this for Luke?
Ben suddenly parted from her and stared with red, wet eyes. He blubbered, "I will."
Jaina looked at her cousin in a more admirable light. "Boy, we are not going to have any trouble with you growing up."
"Talk like that only makes more pressure for me to live up to it. Mom said something similar on our last time we spoke."
"Mara always was a great judge of character. I think you received some great praise there."
"I think I received some good advice from the Sword of the Jedi today. Thank you."
"Don't mention it."
Ben sniffed and wiped his eyes on his jumper sleeve. "Now, if you can teach me about this auxiliary hose, I'll consider you a genius."
"What, I'm not a genius now?" She too said this while sniffing, but she had a tissue-cloth.
"You're close. You're part Solo, so you have a way to go."
"Hey!"
Ben said, "Just kidding." They laughed and he asked, "Now, you have the right tool?"
She found the hydrospanner Ben brought from the workbench and picked it up. "Yes I do."
They both helped each other get off the floor and Jaina went over under the wing with Ben. "Now, let me tell you another secret about S-foils."
"Did a wing really tear off from just switching lines?"
"Oh, yes. It happened to a rookie from Claxx. Boy, was that a mess."
"What happened?"
"One day we were on a trial mission near the Fondor system, and the rookie had never been out there, see..."
The End