Jace watched as the body of his mother was lowered into the dirt. He stood alone, with no tears in his eyes. Not even tears could show him how much he hurt. The pain kept growing each day as he let himself realize that she was gone. He shouldn't be suffering because he was prepared for her leaving. There was no reason that he should feel pain. Jace knew it was coming but why did it still hurt? He didn't cry, didn't scream in agony, just stood. Lost and alone. Hurt and in pain. As the dirt covered her coffin completely, he closed his eyes.

"Mom," Jace said and walked into the hospital room. Celine sat on the bed reading a book. "I brought you flowers. White roses, your favorite." he set them in an empty vase where other flowered were placed in. Celine smiled at her son and looked at the roses he gave.

"Thank you, Jace." she whispered and smiled slightly. Jace watched her face carefully. He didn't want to miss a single detail. "I never told you about why I liked roses so much. Particularly white ones." she locked eyes with him. "Gosh, you look just like him." Jace sighed and remembered his father. Blonde hair, same smile, same jawline, but different eye color. "I miss him. He gave me white roses on the day I gave birth to you. I asked him why white but he just smiled at me. Never gave me a reason until. . .he looked at you." a tear slowly fell from her eye. "Stephen said that you were so innocent. So perfect and pure. He loved you. He promised to never let something so pure be ruined. In a way, he promised to protect you." she cried quietly. "To never let you cry. Never let anyone hurt you." she looked back at the roses.

Jace smiled sadly. He remembered his father, everything about him.

"That's exactly what he did." Celine said and reached to touch a single petal. "He sacrificed everything for you." her voice was so distant to Jace. He felt lost just listening to it. "That night, he proved it to me. Just how much he loved you." her voice trembled and Jace tried to fight off the memory he could never forget.

The gun shot, his father dropping dead in front of him. His shield, his protector, his father. Jace hated himself after that. Two men broke into their house at night. Jace was only eight and as the naïve boy he was, he tried to fight back. Hitting and kicking the two older men, but in return got a gun pointed at him. As quick as he was, Stephen jumped in to shield Jace from the impact. All he heard after that was his mother's scream.

"He should have let me die." Jace whispered and leaned his head on his mother's shoulder. "I should have died." Celine held her son close to her. In that moment, Jace never wanted it to end. He wanted his mother's arms around him. Forever.

"Then he wouldn't have been you father. If he would have let you die, he wouldn't be Stephen." Celine whispered and felt Jace's breathing even out. His eyes were closed peacefully and fell asleep. "He loved you too much to let you die in front of his eyes."

Jace sighed and walked away from the graves that marked his parents. It took everything in him to ignore the broken feeling inside. He felt it burn at his chest, waiting for the tears to start falling but Jace held them back.

Stephen Herondale

Friend, Son, Husband, Father

Celine Herondale

Friend, Daughter, Wife, Mother

"You should leave for awhile." Alec said and handed Jace a beer from the other side of the table. "Go to a different country for a week and just forget." Jace sighed and nodded. "Try. . .Italy or London." he took a sip of his drink and thought.

"Yeah, I think I might just go to Italy." Jace smiled. "My mom and dad would always take me there." Alec gave Jace a look of warning. "Okay, London it is."

"Forget, Jace." Alec whispered to him softly. Jace felt a tingle in his chest. How could he forget? It hurt too much. Brought so much pain. He had to keep it all in and that hurt far more. Tears never fell, no matter how hard it would get. He wouldn't let himself cry. Pain is just an emotion, it doesn't last forever. Nothing ever does. Not even love that is so strong.

Jace carried his suitcase to his hotel. He didn't look at the girls who checked him out, he didn't give anyone time of day. To him, no one was worth his time. He slid the card in and entered his room. The first thing he did was lay on the bed. His eyes stayed fixed on the ceiling above him.

He missed them and he wished that they could be by his side. There was nothing but a pit of loneliness. The only ones who loved him were gone and they would never come back. It hurt to remember but also hurt to forget. Every wish he ever made was for them to come back. Pain. Hurt. Loneliness. All these emotions kept dragging him down into a dark cavern he knew he would never be able to get out of. Everything disappeared and it was just Jace. The world vanished and all that was left was a sad, broken boy, too broken to love. He hated himself for being weak but how could he be strong? Two people he loved most in the world were gone. It seemed like he could never heal. Like nothing would get better. Everything hurt but he had bare it. Jace had to carry all these feelings alone. No one understood him and they never will. The only emotion they'd feel for him would be, pity.

Slowly, his eyes dropped closed and he fell into dreams of his father and mother. In dreams, everything was perfect. . .until you wake up the next day and realize what you lost. For Jace, he lost everything.

When he woke up, Jace's eyes landed on the clock. 9:32 pm. Sighing he pulled on different cloths and walked to the hotel bar. People crowded around, talking, drinking, flirting. Over all, wasting their time. Jace sat down on an empty stool and tried to ignore the two people making out next to him. The bartender walked up to him.

"Scotch." Jace said emotionlessly. The man nodded and went to get his drink.

"Ya know, if you don't smile once and awhile, your face might as well stay a frown." a voice said as Jace turned his head. His golded eyes were soon met with a pair of green ones. The girl's red hair looked like fire. "What's wrong, pretty boy? Had a bad break up?" she asked him. Jace smirked and shook his head.

"Nah, no girl would want to leave this man." he said cockily. The girl just rolled her eyes but still smiled. The man came back with his drink. Jace took the glass in his hands and gave it a sip.

"Well, if it wasn't a break up. . .what has your pretty face all flustered?" she asked. He noticed that she had a heavy accent. Of course, this was London.

"Thanks, I know I'm pretty." he slyly said but didn't really want to answer her question. "I'm going through some issues." the girl laughed.

"Aren't we all?" she asked. "I mean, look over there." her hand pointed to a girl who was getting drunk and grinding against a random guy. "That girl looks like she just got cheated on."

"Or she could be the one cheating." Jace spoke. She laughed and shook her head.

"A girl that looks that innocent. . ." her voice tailed off.

"We all have looks but just because someone looks that way, doesn't mean they are that way." he said and took another sip. He felt the burn of the alcohol slide down his throat but the burn of his heart hurt even more. By now nothing mattered to him. He could hurt all he wanted and wouldn't care.

"Yeah, but you are a different story." she whispered to him. He looked at her and finally saw how short she was. "A sad man at a bar. Isn't that pretty obvious?" Jace chuckled.

"I guess." he paused before saying. "I'm Jace." she smiled at him. Her smile was so bright, the sun would be jealous.

"Clary." she quipped and took a good look at him. "With a pretty face like yours, it should smile a bit more." he sighed and looked at her again. "We all have issues, Jace, but we all get over them. That is. . .if you are willing to fight hard enough to get over them."

Jace thought for a second. "And if you're not strong enough to get through them?" he asked her and saw Clary's smile grow bigger.

"Hard times exist for a reason. If you're weak one day, you're stronger the next. Besides, we don't go through life alone." she said and ordered a beer. "That's why there's seven billion people in the world. You just have to find the one who is willing to walk with you." she reached in her pocket and handed him a card. "Life is risky. How can you feel so alone when you're not? Call me, will you?" she said before walking away in the crowd of people. He lost sight of her retreating form. He looked down at her number and smiled. The stinging pain of losing everything vanished. To him, life was just following rules but maybe they could break for a little while.

A/N: Do you guys want a few more chapters on this? Let me know! I wrote this after talking to a. . .friend. She said to me, "If life had an easy way, then why can't I find it?" I've gone through a lot of events in my life and I've fought through them. Honestly, if there was an easy way then I wouldn't go on that path because I've fought too hard to just give now. We are human. We are flawed. We are broken. Everyone is but giving up proves nothing. Today might be hard but there's always tomorrow. Again, if you want more, let me know.