I'm not quite sure why I wrote this, or how the idea even came into my head, but here you are, crack of the crackiest kind.
"I hate you Mr Combs," she cried, her voice constricted with passion yet free with the forcefulness with which she spoke. "You promised me a golden comb for my cat. But you did not make it. I should set you on fire for making me upset." She continued to threaten him threateningly, with a threatening knife which she wielded threateningly at him. "AND YOU!" She stabbed the knife accusingly in the direction of the other man in the room, in an accusing fashion, as though she was leveling an accusation against him. "You said you would knit Toby a jumper Doctor Knitson. Yet you come before me empty handed. Give me one good reason why I should spare your life." Doctor Knitson made a strangled sound, that sounded strangled, as though someone was strangling him and that sound was the only sound he could make because he was being strangled. "Please don't kill me, because I am made of kittens." The crazy Cat Lady threw her knife at the wall, to show Doctor Knitson that his reason was good and accepted because it was good. "You may keep your life. You and Mr Combs. But only if you purr and drink this saucer of milk." And so Doctor Knitson and Mr Combs drank from the saucer and purred and so Cat Lady granted them to leave with their lives so they could carry on living and knitting jumpers and making combs.