Mei- Hah! Another humor/romance fic! 'Cept this one'll be really funny. And I guarantee you.
Kratos- Heh, right.
Mei- Oh yeah, the couples are Kraine (duh) Gensea (Is it called Gesea?), Colloyd, and Sheelos.
Kratos- YAY!
Mei- -.-u Ignore him. Anyways, we'll continue as usual.
WARNINGS: What can I say? This is a T-rated humor fic, so you can atleast expect some offensive swears. But anyways, in this chapter, there aren't any truly offensive stuff, but I warn you of crap and puke. No, seriously. There are some tiolet-involved stuff, but it's vague in general. And all the swears that do occur are just simply covered up. In other words, there isn't any language in this chapter. Good for the kiddies... lol
Raine- ToS doesn't belong to Scarlet Kratos, and you all should know that by now.
Mei- Uhh, here we go...
oOoOo
Prologue
"Holy crap, how can we all fit into this SUV?"
This question that had erupted from a boy's mouth seemed to mystify his companions. Well, most of them, anyways. Regal answered in an exasperated voice, "Lloyd, this was the biggest they had."
"But..." a red-headed male squinted, "Won't there be hell to pay - literally - later when the bills come? You said you paid it with a credit card or something."
"Do the details matter? All that is important is that this can comfortably fit nine people, driver and passengers. Is that not what we had agreed on searching for?" the thirty-three-year-old sighed.
"Yes... But it surprises me how it can fit that many people." a deep voice muttered from behind. Everyone (which was a lot of people, judging by the fact the one of the nine who had been missing had come back) turned around to look at the newcomer, which was a women - er, man, man! - who bore longish auburn hair.
"It also has a DVD player, which comes with a rather large screen that can also be used for those entertainment devices called video games." a young girl with salmon-pink strands commented. There was a trace of anger buried beneath her monotone voice. "We have all that we need. Enough food, space, and entertainment to last us an entire trip."
"Yeah, Presea's right." Lloyd replied, though he still seemed somewhat doubtful of the car's capicity.
"Let's go already." the eldest teenaged girl with raven hair said tartly and clambered onto the car. The vehicle was already packed with its supplies to last the roadtrip to their destination - why did they always have to waste so much valuable time on a chat about the thing that they were using to travel with?
"I'm sitting next to Sheena!" Within seconds of the delighted squeal, the perverted red-head had literally leaped into the SUV and had nearly crushed the poor girl. However 'poor' she seemed, she certainly didn't act like it. Sheena threw off the idiot to that his face collided with the window on the opposite side of the wheeled transportation system and nestled her own self down comfortably in the backseat, faraway from the dazed red-head. She looked up to see incredulous stares coming her way.
"What?" she snarled, sporting a light rose blush.
"Um... We'll get on now. And I have the seating arrangements." Regal chuckled nervously and unfurled a tightly furled scroll.
"Why'd you roll it up?" Lloyd asked skeptically, but he was answred by a roar of frustration from inside the car.
"Get on with the seating plan!" Sheena yelled, her hands curling up into fists. Lloyd was always and idiot and usually had a tendency to ask even stupider questions.
"Uh, yes, Zelos, Sheena, and Colette are sitting in in the backseat -" The now-impatient Regal was once more interrupted by Zelos. He let loose a thrilled scream of happiness, knowing he was going to sit next to cuties - perhaps even surrounded by them.
"No!" Regal closed his eyes impatiently as he heard Sheena's scandalized voice, unable to continue with his reading.
"Ignore them and keep going." Kratos instructed, looking nonchalant.
"Right." Regal looked back down at the curled-up paper, struggling not to yell out in intense fury. "Well, next, in the middle row, Genis, Presea, and Lloyd. And finally, up in front in the double-seated chair, will be Raine and Kratos. I'll be driving. Any questions?" He finished curtly, as though he were talking to insane schoolchildren. Which he most likely were.
"I do not mind." Kratos replied coolly, but one would notice why he looked rather apprehensive about something.
"Well, I do." his son interjected angrily. "Me and Colette will be separated."
"Oh well." Zelos poked his head out and stuck out his tongue. Lloyd turned a bright shade of crimson.
"Lloyd, it is 'Colette and I.' And it is better that way... You two have been flirting profusedly. I even once swore I caught you making out with her." Raine said mildly. Kratos looked sharply at his youngster... Who he now know was not as innocent as stupid as he seemed. Lloyd seemed to cringe down as though some invisible weight was crushing him.
"You what?" Kratos hissed, turning to face Lloyd.
"W-well, it's not like you and Raine haven't been doing the same either!" Lloyd responded bravely. Perhaps too much so.
"That is a lie." Raine said slowly after a long silence, looking at her student with a look of pure venom.
"Geez, uh, let's just pile into the car and get going, shall we?" her younger brother said quickly. Regal agreed quietly. Everyone but Kratos, Raine, and Lloyd piled into the car.
"We'll - we'll just forget about this." Raine muttered and slid into the front bench-like two-seater. She beckoned for the two to follow, who both seemed to have turned to stone.
"Oh, um... Right." Lloyd came in, but found he had to go back out soon as it took the combined effort of Sheena, Raine, Regal, and himself to get a petrified Kratos into the car.
Finally, after everyone had gotten into the dang vehicle, it was already past ten. They had planned to leave at nine. In an affronted voice, Regal swore out loud, which was very rare. As soon as they were beginning to pull out of the driveway, however, Colette shreiked that she had forgotten her diary.
After letting her out and going back into their large house to retreive the book, they set off again. At the highway entrance, however, Lloyd cried out in shock that he had left his copy of Soul Calibur 2, and they drove back to get it. When they went off again, Zelos whined that he was constipated and needed a restroom quickly. Regal swore louder than ever as they stopped by a gas station. The red-headed pervert dashed off to look for a bathroom. He came back looking as though he was sick and reported to them all that the gas station didn't have a bathroom. By now, half of them were muttering curses under their breaths as they once more returned to their home that housed them all.
Twn minutes later, Zelos has reappeared and came back into the car, but they noticed he looked nervous. When inquired why, he told them all that he had clogged up the toilet with his massive amount of droppings and urine along with bundles of toilet tissue. A truly disgusted Kratos left the car to go and fix the problem. When he returned, he looked rather green. Raine ushered him into his seat, but then he threw up all over the inside of the windsheild. All his breakfast content had been splattered out - half-digested pancakes, a bit of what seemed to be soggy toast, but the rest of the mess would leave even an expert at identifying puked food confused. Raine fussed over his clothing, which only had a bit of the gunk, while Regal fussed about the car.
Soon, they all toppled out in nausea. Raine had cleaned up Kratos, but now Regal had to hand-wash his precious car. It took hours, and by then, everyone was in a bad mood. It was almost one o'clock, and they still had not left for their roadtrip. They would've been half-way to the hot springs (which was far away and the first stop in their vacation) had there not been all this commotion, but nooo - Zelos just had to eat that burrito in the morning, which also gave him a weird odor in his breath.
When they left, whoever asked a question, even a suggestion of stopping, would receive death-stares from every other occupant in the car. Regal, however, would give them a gaze so threatening the victim would almost shrink into the darkness, obviously never wanting to see his eyes in the rearview mirror again.
Mostly, the first few hours was in silence, before Zelos said angrily, "Look, guys, I'm starving. Why can't we stop to eat?"
"Because we already had passed out sandwiches less than an hour ago." Sheena snarled.
"Yeah, Zelos." even Colette was cold. the naturally good-natured girl didn't feel so happy anymore, even if she was the first one who had caused the journey to be halted.
Zelos kept on whining and whining, acting like a complete sissy and idiot. Then suddenly, Sheena and Lloyd both at the exactly same time, reached out to grab a strand of the idiot's hair and yanked as though their lives depended on it.
What reasonated through the car made the driver and passengers almost lose their hearing; a shrill, loud, piercing shriek that seemed to rip through everyone's eardrums.
Oh, what hell the roadtrip would be.
oOoOo
Woo! That was long for a prologue! Anyways, I really like this story. Review if you do too!
Reviewers will get a cookie, made by yours truly. :D
Anyways and again, review if possible!
-Note: I'm only continueing if I get atleast 3 reviews. 'Kay?-
Okay! 'Buh 'bye!
oOo-Scarlet Kratos-oOo