This was a story that I just started too write out of impulse. It's kind of weird, but that's what makes it funny! Anyway, here is the disclaimer thingy that I am forced to put in order toavoid copyright and/or plagiarism charges because some people are just mean like that. Lol, I'm just kidding….
Disclaimer: I don't own fruits Basket, or Tom and Jerry, or any other cartoon reference that I might make, or Verizon Wireless' new sales pitch, and just to be on the safe side, I don't own the phrase "Chrismahanukwanzakah" if that is how it's spelled.
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Akito who is a mean old fart, and suffering from some kind of disease that has made him go crazy is now is now ordering the Sohma family to do out of the ordinary things. And since he is the head of the family after all, the rest of the Sohmas are obliged to follow his orders. What the hell will he make them do?
Chapter 1: Chrismahanukwanzakah
"I'm hooooome!" sang a cheery Shigure as he let himself in the front door. "I said hello! God! What ever happened to 'Hi Shigure its nice too see you too.'?"
"Huh?" was the halfhearted reply that came from Kyo, who was too absorbed in Tom and Jerry to really care what was going on in the world around him. All of a sudden Kyo jumped up furiously and slammed his fist through the wall. "GOD DAMNIT!!!!!! WHY IS IT THAT THOSE DAMNED RODENTS ALWAYS WIN!!!!!??????" (btw, in case your not cartoon knowledged enough, Jerry has once again outsmarted Tom and beat the crap outta him, which has angered Kyo because he is the cat, and is always being beaten by Yuki, the rat. Now back to our regularly scheduled story) Kyo furiously pulled his fist out of the wall and walked away, taking a large chunk of the wall with him.
Shigure just shook his head and sighed "Tsk, tsk, my house is being destroyed once again, why does everyone treat you so terribly? I mean what have you ever done to them you poor housey—"
"Um, Shigure…are you talking…to the house?" asked a puzzled Yuki, who entered the room just in time to hear Shigure pity his "poor housey".
"Oh! Eh, Hello there Yuki. How was your day? Mine was fine, and no, I was not talking to the house, ha, ha! What a silly thing to do! I was just…er… light bulb appears Reciting a line from my latest novel! Yes! It is about a man who falls in love with his magical talking house, and, er, um… Well, I better be off to finish my novel before Mei appears and goes crazy. " Shigure walked off still talking to himself "Although what fun it is to tease that woman! Poor thing, she has no sense of humor…"
Yuki just sighed and chuckled slightly to himself and walked back into the kitchen to grab something for a snack.
A few minutes later the phone began to ring. Tohru hearing it, dropped the laundry and ran to get it, running into two walls during the process. "Whoa! Uh hello, Sohma residence Tohru at your service! Oh hi Hatori-san, you want to speak with Shigure, okay, hold on, I'll get him. Shigure Hatori is on the phone and would like to speak with you."
"Oh goodie!" was Shigure's reply as he picked up the phone "Hello Hari-chan, it's so nice to hear from you!" said Shigure on an overly cheery voice "What's that? Akito has called a meeting? What about? You don't know? Well, okay, I guess I'll come. See you in a little bit!" He hung up the phone, grabbed his coat and just as he was walking out the door he shouted in a dramatic voice "I'm off on a dangerous journey, fare thee well. I don't know when, of if I shall return, so don't go off searching for me. Good bye my friends!" and with that he closed the door and proceeded on to the main house.
"What!?" exclaimed a very shocked Tohru
"Oh, no need to worry Miss. Honda; He's just off to the main house for a bit. He was just being overly dramatic.
At the main house (just in case you wanted to know)
"Well, I bet you all are wondering why I have called you to my bedside for this meeting. Well, I'll tell you, Since I, Akito am ruler of you all, and you must do as I say or else you shall be punished, am declaring, that this year none of you shall celebrate Christmas! Instead, we will all be celebrating… drum roll please… Chrismahanukwanzakah! Bwahahahahahahahahahahaa!
"What?!?!?!?!?!" was everyone's reply
"Why? Akito, are you sure you are feeling well?" asked Hatori
"Why, because it is an all inclusive celebration with no contractual obligations, so happy Chrismahanukwanzakah to you all! And yes, I feel just fine! So all of you go, now! Go prepare for Chrismahanukwanzakah because it is on the 17th of December!"
Back at Shigure's house
"You are being awful silent tonight." Said Tohru that night during dinner.
"I know! Isn't it great? –Boink- hey! What was that for?" exclaimed Kyo when Shigure with him over the head due to his previous remark.
"Well, I guess I'll tell you now instead of later" said Shigure, "Akito told us that we are not to be celebrating Christmas this year."
"What? No Christmas?" asked Tohru
"Has he gone mad?" asked Yuki
"No Santa Klaus?" asked Kyo causing everyone to give him a weird look.
"Anyway, he said that we are to be celebrating Chrismahanukwanzakah this year."
"What the hell is Chrismahanu-whatever!"
"It is a holiday that includes Christmas, Hanukkah, and Kwanza"
cricket cricket
"Sounds like fun!" replied Tohru
"It could be…interesting." Said Yuki
Kyo, who thought the whole idea was wierd just sat all pouty- like and ate his stew.
December 17th
"Okay," said Shigure "Everything is all set. Shall we start?"
"Okay!" Tohru suggested
Yuki lit all the candles and they sat under the Christmas tree/Hanukkah bush and sang all the prayers/blessings/ chants/songs, intertwining them all so that anyone who could hear them would have no clue what the hell they were doing or singing. Also by taking one look at the house would have their suspicions and the thought of calling the insane sylum just might cross their minds.
Meanwhile, after having finishing his celebrations, Akito plotted some more…
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Yay! The first chapter is done!
I kinda of skipped around a lot and left some parts out, but I only did it because it is 10:00 and I am really tired. Do you have any clue how much sitting through almost two hours of algebra can wear you out? Lol.
Please Review though! I take flames, comments, compliments, whatever. Also I you have any ideas on other things Akito should do, please let me know. Thanks!
TTFN, ta ta for now!