A/N: Hey guise~ this is my first fanfic, so don't make fun :c Actually, do... but at least in the way to help? Ha, idunno. But that would be nice~I got half the story planned out, but every time I look at it I feel like adding something! I tried my best. Enjoy :) This starts when Katniss is on the rising thingy going to the stage above.
The crowd is the only thing I can think about right now, other than Peeta. That, and the stage above me might crush me. I can't think about the others that died before my eyes until we get on the train.
Haymitch pats my shoulder, and startles me, "You hear that? That's all for you, sweetheart."
"Haymitch! Don't do that to me!" I scold. It gets irritating when everybody seems to sneak up on you when you're thinking.
"Yeah, yeah. Whatever, mom. Excited to see your boyfriend?" I'm surprised when he says this. Boyfriend? Peeta's not my boyfriend.
"He's not my boyfriend. That was all for the cameras," I say. I had to play my part to help him, since I could us both out. I had to keep the "star-crossed lovers" act on to keep getting sponsors.
"Sure," he said sarcastically. "Good luck out there."
"You too, I guess." He hugs me and then turns around and leaves me. A few minutes later, I hear the team being introduced. Then finally, the ground beneath me starts to rise, and the blinding lights start shining on me. I can't see anything for a few moments, just some white and orange lights.
Then he's there. Smiling like an idiot at me. His smiles are always the same. I act like I don't hear anything, smell anything, or see anything but him. "Peeta," I start to say, hearing my voice all around us. He presses his lips against mine. We stay like that for a while until Haymitch separates us.
We go through with the ceremony, get through the interviews, then get on the train. I go straight to my room to clean off the makeup and change out of the wonderful dress that Cinna made. I put on a pretty green dress, a lot less flashy than the other one. I lay down on my bed, just thinking about everything. I get flashbacks from the arena. When the Rue train runs through my brain, I start bawling. I should have tried to save her, but I know there was nothing I could've even done.
It's been an hour and my pillow is soaked in tears. My eyes are bloodshot. That's when I start thinking about Peeta. I go to the bathroom and look at myself in the mirror. I wash my face; it's sticky from the tears. I put in eye drops and I look almost normal. Is it true that Peeta is desperately in love with me? Or was it really just something to get people to like him more? Was it just for show? I feel like I've gotten closer to him, and I care more about him now. We experienced those horrible things together; I don't think anybody I'm close to in District 12 knows how it feels to watch other people die in front of your eyes.
I go back to my bed; it's messy. Half of the pillows are on the floor, and the blankets are everywhere. I sigh and start to clean it up. Finally, something for me to do that's normal. When I finish, I'm thirsty and hungry. I go out to the kitchen, drink water, get a cup of tea, and sit on a chair next to the window. I gaze at the stars out the window. Peeta walks in, gets something to eat and leans on the counter on my right. We're silent for a whole five minutes until he breaks the silence.
"When we get home, what are we going to do?" Peeta asks, his voice sounding serious.
I look down at my tea. "I don't know," I replied quietly.
"Everything that happened in the arena…was it just for the cameras?" He waits for my reply, but he sees that I'm not going to say anything yet. So he continues, "Or tell me, did you somehow fall in love with me in my worst? In our worst?" I glance at him; he looks desperate for an answer.
Still looking at my tea, I tell him, "Some of it was for the cameras. The first time I kissed you, it was..." I paused. I can't find the right word, so I keep going. "I just did it. The second time, I had to, so we could get more things from Haymitch."
"Everything was real for me, Katniss," he says right away. I hear the depressing tone in his voice, my eyes shoot up to see his face. His eyes are closed, and tear streaks run down his cheek. I can't let him feel bad yet… we still have to keep up our act when we arrive at District 12.
"I wasn't finished." He looks up, obviously confused. "Everything we went through, we did it together. We experienced the pain, together." I stare at him for a while until I finally say, "Yes, I guess you can say that I felt something when we first kissed. That I felt something, the moment the announcement that 2 victors could go home ended. I felt something, taking care of you in the cave and sleeping next to you."
His eyes brightened up, but just a little. He seems doubtful. "Really, Katniss?"
"Is it not obvious?"
"No, actually. Reading you is like a baby trying to read a cookbook." I laugh, for the first time since we've been on the train. "Well, I'm tired, Katniss. I'm going to take a nap. Wake me when we get there?"
"Sure, Peeta." He steps towards me, but hesitates for a second, and kisses me on the cheek. I blush; he laughs and walks away.
*PEETA'S POV*
I head straight to my room after my talk with Katniss. That girl is one big headache. I don't believe that she actually has feelings for me. It's written all over her face! Maybe I'm just reading her wrong. Maybe she does have feelings for me. I'm lying on the soft satin bedspread, trying to remember what Portia said to me when we were alone after I had just confessed my love for Katniss on live television.
Flashback:
"I just made her hate me more," I said.
Portia shakes her head and puts her hand on my shoulder. "I know, deep down inside of her, somewhere she doesn't even know, she loves you. I'm sure of that by the way she reacted when you confessed."