Disclaimer: I own absolutely nothing, Harry Potter belongs to JK Rowling's and The Blair Witch Project is not mine!
Author's Note: Must…stop…writing…Snape…fics!
The Witch Project
Three years ago, three professors went to investigate strange occurrences in the Forbidden Forest, it was rumored that a crazy witch lived deep within the heart of the forest. Unfortunately, Minerva McGonagall, Severus Snape and Albus Dumbledore were never seen again after they went into the forest, their disappearances had remained a mystery, until their records were found... (Ominous music)
December 4, 2004
(On screen Snape, wearing a wool cap a plaid shirt with jeans, looking into the camera)
" It's December fourth two thousand and four, my colleagues and I have decided to investigate weird sightings of a mad witch living in the forbidden forest. To be quite honest I think it's a load of rubbish, but Dumbledore insists on doing this." Snape said as he points the camera away from his face. Minerva, also in camping attire, glares at the camera.
" Severus, turn that thing off!" She said fixing her hair. Snape's voice is heard in the background.
" I can't Minerva, it's for evidence." Snape said very sarcastically, turning the camera on Dumbledore.
" Say Hi to the camera Albus." Snape said as Dumbledore smiled and waved at the camera, " Hello everybody, I suppose Severus told you what we were doing." Snape turns the camera back on his face.
" Well, this is going to be very interesting, if I die here it will be from boredom, so I am going to have to keep myself entertained." He starts to record the gloomy surroundings and then his camera once again falls on McGonagall, who is enjoying a sandwich. All of a sudden Snape starts to hum the Jaws theme song, " Dun dun…dun dun…dun dun dun dun dun dun dun…da!!"
" Cut it out Severus I can hear you." Minerva said continuing to eat. Snape ignores her warning and continues.
" She is of a rare species. Her sharp teeth can tear a man to pieces in one minute sharp. You wouldn't want to bother her, especially as she is eating. However, since I am bored, I will bravely attempt to get her attention." Snape said whispering to the camera, suddenly we see a small pebble hit Minerva in the shoulder. She glares at Severus.
" Contact has been made, she looks awfully angry, probably shouldn't have done that. (Minerva rises) Holy crap." Snape abruptly gets up and begins to run, we hear Minerva yelling profanities at him as she chases after him. The camera is violently shaking; we hear Snape's gasps as he runs from Minerva. The camera then falls to the ground and fizzes out.
Shzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
Approximately 5 hours later.
" I am so going to get that little &#$# back. No one messes with Minerva McGonagall." Minerva said speaking into the camera; she zooms in on a sleeping Snape.
" This is going to be precious."
" Minerva? Whom are you speaking to?" Dumbledore asked.
" Albus come here." Minerva begins to whisper things to him and the camera is focusing on Snape. After about thirty seconds Albus's voice comes on.
"Well, it appears Minerva wants to scare the crap out of Severus this should prove to be a lot of fun…Severus!!!!!"
" Huh? Whuh? What the bloody hell happened?" Snape said waking up.
" Minerva is gone!!! I think it got her! The Crazy witch got her!!"
" Really that's such a shame." Snape said trying to go back to sleep.
" No, we must look for her." Dumbledore said shaking him. Snape grumbled and got up, Dumbledore followed after him with the camera.
" Minerva!!! Where did that old cow go to?" Snape said as both him and Dumbledore emerged from the tent. Snape pulled out his wand and illuminated the area.
Everything is extremely quiet only the crickets could be heard. Snape looked paler than usual.
" Did you see that Severus? That bush just moved. Go over there and look!" Dumbledore said pointing his hand over at a bush. Snape just stood there looking at the camera.
" Come now Severus!"
Snape looked over at the bush, reluctantly going over to it, like a scared child. He pointed his wand into it, and just when he was about to turn around to go back, a gray cat jumped out of the bushes and attached itself on Snape's face.
" Ahhhh! Get it off me!! It's the crazy witch it's the crazy witch!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Ahhhh!!!" Snape wailed as he ran in circles scared brainless. Dumbledore was laughing so hard the camera was vibrating. Eventually the cat got off and it transfigured into McGonagall, who was rolling on the ground laughing. Snape was cowering in a corner as both Minerva and Albus were imitating.
" Minerva, who am I? It's the crazy witch it's the crazy witch!!!" Dumbledore began to run around in circles. It then dawned on Snape it was all just a joke. He immediately got up and ran into the tent while the others were laughing hysterically.
" Transfiguration lessons: 350 galleons, Wand: 105 knuts, scaring the & out of Severus Snape: priceless!!" Minerva said clutching her stomach.
" That's all for tonight folks!" Dumbledore said and turned off the camera.
Shzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
Do you guys like it? Do you want me to keep writing this? Please I beg you review!