Ways To Annoy Or Scare John Sheppard
1. Tell him Elizabeth is in love with Rodney.
2. Tell him you're going to have his child.
3. Tell him Steve has a crush on him.
4. Tell him Woolsey has a crush on him.
5. Shave his head while he sleeps;
6. Tell him Rodney did it.
7. Tell him Ronon has a crush on him.
8. Buy him a comb for Christmas.
9. Lock him in a room with Bill.
10. Steal his jumper.
11. Make him comb his hear.
12. Make him watch Dumbo. Tell him they have much in common.
13. Sneak up on him while he sleeps and write Kirk all over his face.
14. Use an ancient device to make a comb follow him around, until he uses it;
15. Make the comb follow him around anyway.
16. Have Carson tell him he was castrated by mistake.
17. Tell him tier was a man.
18. Tell him he's going bald.
19. Show him a picture of Woolsey and tell him that's what he'll look like in 20 years.
20. Sneak up behind him and give him a Mohawk;
21. When he confronts you about it, say he doesn't look different.
22. Ask him to tell Sumner you said hello.
23. Be Kolya. Be alive.
24. Tell him you killed Weir.
25. Paint a scar on his head and call him "the chosen one".
26. Superglue posters of the iratus bug all over his room.
27. Rename everything. Convince the military to use your names.
28. Buy him a t-shirt that says 100 Kirk and be very offended when he refuses to wear it;
29. Make sure to tell him you made it yourself.
30. Spread the rumor that he had a tattoo of a daisy;
31. Avoid to mention where;
32. Approach him and ask him if it's true;
33. Or convince Rodney to do it.
34. Steal his turkey sandwich.
35. Take out a life insurance policy on his name.
36. Tell him Kolya's alive.
37. Introduce him to Simon.
38. Call him Harry Potter.
39. Call him Luke Skywalker.
40. Buy him a dog collar.
41. Buy him a chew toy for Christmas.
42. Gather up all the women he had a one night stand with.
43. Introduce them to flame throwers.
44. During conversion, ask him why he looks so blue.
45. Step on a cockroach in front of him, and then ask them if they were related.
46. Give the whumpers his phone number and home address.
47. Sneak some fan girls in his closet. (might annoy Elizabeth more)
48. Tell him you're a Mckay/Weir shipper
49. Tell him he probably has about 100 kids by now
50. Lock him in a closet with Mckay and tell Elizabeth
I'm not very good at humor, but I was bored one day and I thought I'd give it a try. Let me know what you think, especially if you have other "ways" to add.