It had really turned out to be one of the worst days of his Atlantis career.

He'd started off the morning getting plowed over by Ronon as the Satedan sleepily made his way through the mess hall. Sheppard had been through too many fights to count, but hitting a table still hurt. His coffee was cold and weak, and he accidentally knocked Rodney's tablet off the table during a briefing. The device wasn't harmed at all, but it sealed Sheppard's fate to an unending torrent of whining for the rest of the day.

When they went through the Stargate, he thought things might improve. It was a chance to go off-world, be away from the political and intellectual stress of the city, and maybe beat the crap out of something. But then he realized he was allergic to something on the planet, judging by the unstoppable sneezing, and they discovered after about an hour that the air was unusually dry.

"Colonel?" Teyla said, worry crossing her face. "Do you feel alright?"

"A little pissed off and in serious need of a tissue, but I'm fine," he told her.

Rodney had a smirk on his face, which was never a good thing. "Yeah, you might be needing that tissue more than you think."

Sheppard looked at him, then touched a finger to his upper lip. Crimson blood pooled on his finger and he groaned. "Oh, come on. Just one more thing I..." He trailed off, then let loose another powerful sneeze, effectively scattering droplets of blood everywhere. "Aw, cr- let's just go home."

"Uh, Sheppard?"

He clenched his fist, then whirled around to look at Ronon. "What?"

The Satedan was looking up, so Sheppard followed his gaze and his heart sank. Hanging from the trees were about three... somethings all staring eagerly at the colonel. As he watched, one dropped down and landed on his face, its unluckily barbed tongue lapping up the blood dripping from his nose. "Get it off!" he shouted, falling backwards under the weight.

Someone - probably Ronon - seized the thing and ripped it away, leaving Sheppard with an odd sensation in his skin. The other two likewise dropped down, but they all became more violent now that someone was on the attack. Still, the team made short work of them with their guns, and soon they had three smoking carcasses.

"Let's get out of here," Ronon said.

"I'd be glad to," Sheppard said irritably, allowing Teyla to help him up. The moment he stood, however, his head swam and everything looked blurry. He stumbled to his knees, only vaguely hearing the others calling his name. He never lost consciousness, though he did loose all feeling in his limbs. Ronon lifted him up and carried him back through the Stargate, where he was immediately intercepted by medical personnel.

The creatures apparently injected their victims with some sort of paralytic while they sucked the blood out. It was strong stuff, but thankfully temporary. He was trapped in the infirmary for three days.

All because of a stupid nosebleed.

. . .

Thought of this because I had a nosebleed today that lasted for hours.