Praise Be to Din

"I, I'm sorry Link," said Tatl as she hovered over her companion. "It seems as if you're stuck here now..."

Just three days ago, Link had shown back up in Termina after having left years earlier. He hadn't meant to show up, he just kind of...dropped in.

Literally, he dropped inside the Stock Pot Inn out of thin air and landed on the reception desk...in a rather painful way, to be precise. It had taken a full day for the fifteen year old blond hylian to recover enough to go out exploring the city alone.

On the second day, both Tatl and Tael had accidentally bumped into the hylian youth as he was reacquainting himself with the Clock Town western market. Needless to say, it was a joyous reunion. The three had gone back to Link's rented room in the Stock Pot Inn and had talked about a myriad of things till the wee hours of the morning.

But then today, when Link had attempted to use the door to get back to Hyrule, it wouldn't budge.

Link slammed his fist into the doorway, causing his knuckles to bleed. But from the furious expression adorning his face, Tatl could easily tell that Link didn't particularly care about that.

A very familiar, and not to mention slimy, voice spoke out from the shadows of the Clock Tower. "I'm afraid that you can never go back to your homeland, young Link of Hyrule..."

Link spun around, his eyes glaring daggers at the Happy Mask Salesman, "And why is that? I used it before, didn't I?"

The Happy Mask Salesman shook his head sadly, "I'm afraid that the curse that those two siblings laid against both Hyrule and Termina has finally come to pass."

Tatl spoke up from her position above Link, "What curse? What siblings? Speak plainly! I've had enough of riddles to last me a lifetime already, thank you!"

The Salesman smiled thinly, "Thousands upon thousands of years ago, there were three siblings, Ganondorf and Ordon, the two elder boys, and their younger sister, Majora."

"Majora!" squeaked Tatl.

"Ganondorf!?" exclaimed Link.

The Happy Mask Salesman shook his head, "He was not the Ganondorf of whom you are thinking. This Ganondorf, and his younger sister Majora, both were Hylians with flaming red hair that succumbed to the darkness that was their heritage given to them by their father, the scientist Dragmire. Ganondorf stole into the Sacred Realm and claimed the Triforce in its entirety for his own, while Majora seduced the Fifth Giant of Termina into giving her his power. However, both of them eventually fell, Ganondorf becoming a ghost that haunts the Gerudo Desert, and Majora's will becoming trapped inside of a mask."

Tatl spoke up as she fluttered closer to Link, "But what does that have to do with Link?"

The Salesman continued his tale, "You see, when the two finally fell, the used the last of their power to place curses on their respective realms in which they had attempted to conquer. But no one knew what the criteria for setting of these curses could possibly be. But I, because of my magnificence, know of these elusive criteria." The Salesman cleared his throat, "Should a descendant of Ganondorf Dragmire, formerly of the Royal Guard, come into contact with not only the Triforce, but the sacred masks of Termina, and then fundamentally alter both realms in any way shape or form, then he shall be banished to one realm while another is left without a hero to defend it."

Link stared at the other man in shock, "I'm...a descendant of the first Ganondorf?"

"That is correct. But Link, that means something else too, something equally important. Do you know with whom Ganondorf was married before succumbing to the Darkness?" Link shook his head in the negative. "He was married to the Goddess Din, when she had taken the form of a Hylian, due to having to recover after the Dark God, Nightmare, attacked the world once again."

Tatl squeaked once again, "Y-you mean Link's a descendant of the Goddess? No wonder he so h-...Never mind...."

Link glanced questioningly at the yellow fairy, "No wonder I'm so what? Tatl?"

"Let's just get out of this place already! It's giving me the creeps!"

------ ---- --- --- ---

"Ugh..." said the sixteen year old Link as he sat on his bed to rest after another eventful day of delivering mail throughout Termina. He usually did odd jobs around Clock Town and Termina in order to pay his way, but once every other week he would deliver packages to dangerous locations that the Postman wasn't to keen on visiting himself. Oh well, it paid good, that's all that mattered.

"What's the matter, Link?" asked his small fairy companion, Tatl.

"Well, when I was dropping off a package to Romani Ranch, and Romani asked me if I was finally going to bring my 'girlfriend' to the festival, that way she can prove to her sister that we're not involved. "

"But, Link, you don't have a girlfriend..." Tatl said.

Link groaned again, "I know that, and Romani knows that, but Cremia worries that a 'boy my age is all alone amongst the big bad world'. So, we both kind of....lied to her about me having a girlfriend, to make things less awkward when I visit either them or Epona."

"I see..." mumbled the fairy.

Link threw up his hands, "What am I going to do, Tatl? I told Cremia that my 'girlfriend' was a small young woman about my age with purple hair and golden eyes. And unfortunately for me, I've never seen anyone like that in my whole life."

"How much time until the festival starts, Link?" asked Tatl.

"About two hours, why?" he said a he slumped back down onto his bedding.

"Good! That will give us just enough time to enact my plan to save your butt from a really awkward situation later on tonight!"

Link blinked several times, "What's that? You have a plan, Tatl?" He smiled at the fairy with every ounce of charm that he had in his body, "You're amazing, Tatl."

"Sh-shut up and let's get moving! We have to pick up a couple of things at the market in order for this plan to work!"

"Whatever you say, I will obey, o great one."

"S-stop saying stupid things like that! Why do you think I always told you to let me do the talking the first time you were here!? Gah!!!"

Thirty-five minutes and several clothing shops later, Link was puzzled at the array of clothes spread out on his bed. "Tatl, why did we have to go out and buy a whole bunch of women's clothes?" He tentatively picked up a torqouise stone bracelet, "Did we really need to by jewelry as well?"

"Think of it as my payment for being such a great help during your travels, blondie."

"You're payment?" asked Link.

Tatl nudged Link in the head, "Just leave the room until I tell you that you can come in, okay?"

Link was dumbfounded, "What?"

Tatl sighed in exasperation, "Just do it, Link."

Nodding his head dumbly, Link left the room and waited for five minutes while Tatl did...whatever it was that she was doing.

"Tatl," Link asked through the doorway, "what exactly are you doing?"

"You'll see!" she sang back to him.

Link scratched the side of his head, "Any hint as to when?"

Tatl's answering laugh was like musical chimes to Link's ears. "You can open the door now Link, I'm ready."

And so, Link did, but he was wholly unprepared for the sight of the young girl standing in front of him. She was a half head shorter than Link, with shoulder length purple hair, and the most gorgeous pair of golden eyes the young hero had ever seen. She wore the demure forest green colored dress he had bought, the torqouise bracelet adorning her wrist.

"Tatl?" Link choked out, "Is that you?"

The young teenage woman smiled back at the youth warmly and said in a kind tone, "Yes Link, this is me. Or to be more accurate, the human form that I can switch to should I wish it."

Link stared at her for a half minute, before nodding his head and smiling. Proffering her his arm, he said, "So I'm guessing that this is what you meant by having a plan?"

Tatl laced her arm through Link's own and nodded, "Yes. Since I have purple hair and gold eyes, I thought it was perfect." She tapped her chin with her delicate pointer finger, "What I'm wondering though, is why you had your made up girlfriend look like me."

Link blushed slightly, "To tell you the truth, Tatl, I, uh, saw you like this in a dream."

"When was this?"

Link scratched the back of his head with his other arm, "Well, it's been kind of a recurring thing, but, um, it first happened the night before I came back to Termina, actually." Link cleared his throat uncomfortably as the pair made their way into the central part of Clock Town. "Actually, Tatl, I was actually having a dream about you while I was teleported here."

Tatl began to blush as well, "You...were having visions of me...when you....gah..."

Link chuckled nervously as he linked his fingers with Tatl's, giving them a companionable squeeze before he said, "We'll sort everything out later, Tatl my dear. But first, let's introduce ourselves as the most disgustingly sweet couple since Anju and Kafei."

Tatl smiled impishly, "I can already see Romani and Cremia's green faces as they try not to puke at our lovey-doveyness."

Link's answering smile wasn't quite as evil, but it was close. "Oh, Tatl, we're going to have so much fun tonight, I can just feel it."

---- --- --- ---

Tatl hissed as Link gently blew on the small gash that he was cleaning on her collarbone. The now seventeen year old blond took care to gently dab away the blood that had started to dry on the fairy turned human's skin. "I'm blaming you for this, you know," Tatl said, glancing at the third individual in their little traveling group. "This is all your fault, Tael."

The platinum blond, lanky youth who had once been a fairy like his sister shook his head, "You wanted to figure out a way to make the transformation permanent sister-"

"That was ten months ago, little brother, it doesn't have anything to do with this."

Tael continued on as if his sister hadn't spoken, "-so you should stop moaning and just deal with any scrapes you may get along the way."

Tatl huffed and looked away from her brother, "It's still your fault."

Tael chuckled, "Pray tell, why is that, dear elder sister?"

"You were the one who stepped on that Dodongo's tail yesterday."

Tael rolled his eyes, "I hardly think that the avalanche we just barely survived through was because I accidentally stepped on the tail of a young Dodongo, Tatl."

Link buttoned Tatl's dress back up again, making sure the bandages he had put over the woman's wound wouldn't fall off. "Actually," he said to Tael, "if you had been paying attention, you would have seen that Dodongo at the top of the cliff, pushing that first boulder towards our heads."

Tael chuckled nervously as he scratched the back of his head, "Oops?"

"Shut up, Tael," said Tatl, "and get me some water."

"Yes ma'am."

"And don't call me ma'am! It makes me feel old!"

"Yes mommy."

Tatl fumed at her brother's back, but by that time, he had already gone beyond the trees.

Link smiled slightly, before bending down and giving Tatl a hug, being mindful of her injury as he did so. "I'm just glad you're okay, Tatl."

"Me too," she said as she gently laid one of her hands on Link's cheek. "'Cause if I wasn't, I wouldn't be able to do this."

She then proceeded to lean forward and capture his lips with her own.

Five minutes later, when Tael came back with the water, he shook his head at the kissing pair and said, "Geez, get a room at the Stock Pot Inn, you two."

------------------- ----------------

"Tatl," Link panted as he lay atop her in their private room they had in the Western District of Clock Town, "Tatl, if you don't stop this soon, I don't think I'll be able to."

"Silly Link," Tatl said as she ran her hands over his impressive shoulder muscles, "you're eighteen now, and I want you. So let loose some of those heroically stoic inhibitions and show me how much you love me without using all that many intelligible words."

Link smiled huskily at the purple haired woman beneath him, "By your leave then, your Magnificence." He then leaned down and began laying kisses all over her body, from the scar from a year before, to the smooth skin of her navel, his hands keeping busy with driving Tatl as wild as his mouth was.

"Link," his name coming from her lips was like a fanatical prayer, filled with an intense longing for both his soul and his body to claim her.

Link smiled at her as he hovered over her, ready to begin. "You ready?"

"Give me babies, Link. Give me lots and lots of babies..."

Later, when everything was said and done, and I do mean done, Link and Tatl lay naked together in their bed, arms wrapped around one another. Link glanced down at his new lover and asked, "Tatl, why did you say 'Give me babies' earlier?"

Tatl traced her hands over Link's muscled stomach, "'Cause I want to bear your children, Link. Why else would I say it?"

Link's face flushed scarlet, "How can you say that with such a straight face?"

Tatl smirked as she straddled Link's hips as she got on top of him, "Practice Link. Lot's and lot's of practice. Now how about we practice some baby making just a little bit more?"

Link smirked, "'Practice makes perfect', right?"

------------- ------------------ ---------------

FIN

AN: And that, ladies and gentlemen, is Crack in its purest, most undiluted form. Be careful not to absorb too much too fast, it could be hazardous to your health.

Yet another Crack pairing down, an infinite number of possible crack pairings to go.

This, is the U.S.S. Karkashan, it's five year mission, to discover new crack pairings, and to boldly go where no fanfiction author has gone before.

And also to drink more caffeine. I'm bushed, let me tell ya'.