This story is based upon the 2004 film "Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events". Jim Carrey and Meryl Streep were amazing! As you know, Aunt Josephine died on Lake Lachrymose, and since she was my favourite character I was obviously not very happy about it. So in this story that I've written, she's going to live.
The first scene is from the film and its deleted scenes, because the deleted version of Count Olaf approaching the Baudelaires' boat was a lot creepier than the film version.
So, I hope you enjoy this story, and leave me a review if you do. :)
But as unpleasant as Lackrymose Leeches could be, there was something far more unpleasant arriving out of the fog.
Violet, Klaus and Aunt Josephine waved their hands wildly, hoping to get the sailor's attention. But when the larger red boat got close enough they heard a sound that was even more terrifying than the leeches. A too familiar old sailor's voice was singing:
Oh, the Captain loved the ladies
And he found himself a wife.
Now he's wishin' he was fishin'
But he's on the hook for life.
The kids lowered their hands as their faces fell. Aunt Josephine's eyes grew wide with fear and she covered her mouth with her small trembling hand. She pulled Sunny closer to her chest and the little girl's hands grabbed the woman's life jacket, intending not to let go in the near future.
Well, I guess he shouldn't 've oughta
But he drowned her in the water
And then a flounder downed her
That's why they never found her.
The boat stopped near their slowly sinking wooden one, and the light that was now directed away from their faces showed them the person they had been afraid to see again. In the larger boat, gleaming with a triumphant smile on his lips, stood the tall Count, again in his long black coat and with his tattooed leg.
"Hello, hello, hello, my little ones," he said in his low, menacing manner. "Looks like you could use a little assistance." His eyes briefly scanned the water around the boats, watching the leeches bite their way through the wooden boat.
"You're gonna need assistance when we get back to town!" Klaus retorted bravely. "Aunt Josephine's gonna tell everyone what happened," he added although Aunt Josephine was shaking her head anxiously.
Without sparing the older woman a look, Count Olaf said, "And I'll be arrested and sent to jail and you'll live happily ever after with a friendly guardian, spending your time inventing things, and reading books, and sharpening your little monkey teeth. And bravery and nobility will prevail at last. And this wicked world will slowly but surely become a place of cheerful harmony. And everyone will be singing and dancing and giggling like the Littlest Elf!" He said all that without a pause to take a breath. "A happy ending," he finished. "Is that what you had in mind?"
The four in the sinking boat were left dumbstruck for a moment, partly because the Count had figured all that out so quickly and presented it to them like that but mostly because it wasn't too different from what the kids had had in mind.
"Because I hardly think that anybody is going to believe a dead woman," Olaf said, still staring at the children.
"She's not dead," Violet replied, and if Josephine wouldn't have been so scared she would have realized that what the girl meant was that she will not die.
"Isn't she?" the Count said, amused, and finally turned to look at the older woman. Aunt Josephine half hid her face behind the small girl she was holding, nervously biting her fingernail. She almost didn't dare to look at the man, as she seemed to crumble under his piercing glare. "Isn't she?" he chuckled again.
"You're not going to touch Aunt Josephine, and she's gonna tell everyone what happened!" Klaus shouted, standing up and taking a step towards the woman in an attempt to protect her from the vicious Count.
If it weren't for Josephine's great fear of death, she would have been thankful for the courage the boy showed, protecting her. But since she wanted to save her skin, she quickly stood up beside the boy and spoke up. "No, no-no-no, no! I won't tell anybody anything," she hurriedly said. "I promise," she added, turning to face the Count. "Please don't throw me to the leeches!" Josephine lifted Sunny from her lap and offered her to the man. "You can have the fortune, you can have the children," she offered without thinking it through.
"Aunt Josephine!" Violet screeched with anguish, climbing into the other boat where the Count had already taken the smallest child.
Aunt Josephine had started to love the children almost the moment they had arrived, but now, blinded by her fear, she couldn't think of anyone else's sake but her own. "Oh, please, please!" she said again to the Count who was already quite satisfied with himself. For a brief moment she felt a certain loss when Klaus didn't bother to help her to the other boat. She started to climb to the boat herself but she needed someone to help her over the high edge.
"Welcome aboard," Count Olaf told the children, giving Sunny over to Violet who was by now almost crying, only to get her sister back in her arms. "Hot potato," he tried to joke.
Aunt Josephine almost fell over on the edge of the boat, but the Count caught her, and she entwined her hands with his. She took no notice of Klaus and the girls watching the two of them suspiciously.
"I'll go away," Josephine started to explain enthusiastically. "I'll dye my hair, I'll change my name." She tried to make the Count believe that she would be no threat to him if only he would let her live. Count Olaf seemed to think this through.
"But what about us?!" Violet cried. Josephine sighed, hoping desperately that the children wouldn't spoil her plan of saving herself.
"Quiet, child," Olaf said authoritatively and then smiled down at Aunt Josephine, adding, "The adults are talking." The children's desperate pleading looks stayed ignored when Count Olaf pulled Josephine closer and she smiled hopefully up at him.
"I suppose I don't have to kill you," he said, his eyes locked with hers and his face extremely close to hers.
"No," Josephine assured him gently. In the back of her head, a small thought was beginning to take form that if she would live through this boat trip and if the children would somehow manage to get the Count arrested on their own, she wouldn't have to give them up.
"On the other hand, with that little stunt of yours at the window you hadn't been a very trustworthy person," he added, waiting a long moment for her reply.
Aunt Josephine's ears couldn't stand the sound of that bad grammar. He should have said "haven't been" and not "hadn't been". But as much as she wanted to point that out to the Count, she knew how some people got really irritated with her always correcting them. Sparing a glance at the Baudelaires she saw all three of them holding their breath, waiting anxiously for her response, which they knew would be a correction of the Count's words. In this small moment Aunt Josephine realized that the smallest mistake could become fatal for her.
"But." The Count's words drew her from her thoughts. Josephine smiled a lovely and trusting smile at him. "I could show a little mercy," Olaf whispered slyly.
"Oh!" Josephine made a hopeful sound. And as the Count smiled down at her, she squeezed her eyes shut and bit her tongue, holding her remark on his mistake to herself. "Thank you," she finally breathed, only now realizing how flushed her cheeks were from the intensity of the scene.
There was a short moment of hesitation before Olaf said, "Come on in then. Or else you will be devoured by the leeches." As he helped her into his boat, Aunt Josephine noticed that her feet had already sunk into the water and were now dripping wet. "And we wouldn't want that to happen, now would we?" he added quietly, finally letting go of Josephine's hands as he turned to steer the boat.
"Now sit down, the lot of you," Count Olaf said, turning the boat away from the raft of leeches. "And wave goodbye to your old boat."
Sunny and Klaus looked back towards the sunk boat and Sunny actually waved. The children sat down in the back of the boat with Sunny in her sister's lap. Aunt Josephine seated herself next to the girls, and her heart broke when Violet moved closer to her brother and away from her.
Aunt Josephine looked up at the children's faces sadly but all she could see there was disappointment. She swallowed her fear of being even more disappointed and reached out a shaky hand. "May I hold her?" she asked shyly.
Violet pulled Sunny closer to herself and frowned. "You are giving us away," she said as an accusation, her voice quivering with hurt.
Aunt Josephine clutched the girl's hand nervously and quickly shook her head. She had to tell the children she would not leave them with the Count, she had made the decision. But she was just too scared to say anything, considering that Count Olaf might hear and throw her overboard.
Violet didn't shake her hand off because of the pleading look in Aunt Josephine's eyes, but she watched the woman suspiciously, as did Klaus.
"You won't mind if I sing, will you?" the Count startled them, speaking without looking at them. "It's going to be a long trip back to town." And with no one daring to say anything against it, he started to sing his sailor's song again.
The children and Aunt Josephine stayed silent until the Count was singing loudly enough that their quiet chatter wouldn't be heard by him.
"I will not let him have you, children," Aunt Josephine whispered quietly. "I had to say that or else he would have killed me. I'm so scared." Her last sentence came out as a weak squeak as her lips began to quiver and she pulled her handkerchief out to blow her nose.
The three Baudelaires instantly felt awful for believing that the kind, although strange, woman would leave them with this horrible man.
Violet moved closer to her and put her arm around Aunt Josephine's shoulders. "Hey, it's okay," she gently said to the whimpering woman. "We're all gonna be alright." Sunny climbed onto Aunt Josephine's lap, and the woman put her handkerchief away, looking up shyly at the young girl next to her.
"Oh, children," she sighed with an enormous amount of relief in her tone. But when she realized that it was not a sentence she had just uttered, she hurried to correct herself. "I'm so glad you are not mad at me."
"Of course we're not," said Klaus from his seat, watching with contentment as his sister consoled their guardian. He didn't realize how certain he sounded before Aunt Josephine wiped at her eyes and nose again and let a single tear escape her eye.
To be continued...