Hi guys, I'm giving this story a chance but I'm a little hesitant in doing so. So it would amazing if you could please read the first chapter and tell me what if you think its worth continuing or not. I know you don't have much to go on (it is only one chapter after all) but if you like what I've written, and want to read more, please tell me!

Hope you enjoy.

xx

He threw the tennis ball up in the air once more and caught it with a single hand. Tony had been at this game for hours. He needed to keep his hands busy so his mind could keep focused and not wander like it did every other night. It was 3am in the morning and he had already checked on Tali 4 times. For the first three weeks, Tali would awake at odd times during the night. Sometimes crying for her mother and other times, crying for her father. Tony was convinced at one point that her relentless attempts to disrupt any peaceful rest was just fun game to her. But truth be told, Tony liked being needed. Even if it meant getting accustomed to insomnia. After all, he was never someone's everything before.

Even after Tali adjusted to a healthy sleep cycle, Tony would still wake up at 3am every morning and check on his daughter, like clockwork.

Tony did this every night, it was like a little ritual. He constantly needed reassurance that his daughter was doing okay. She was a toddler after all, who had just lost her mother. He kept telling himself that he needed to be there for her at a second's notice. But the truth was, Tony checked on his little girl every night because he had this irrational fear that she would disappear from his life one day, just as suddenly as she came into it. As if this all had been a dream.

It still was so hard to accept that he had a daughter. Anthony DiNozzo had a child. He went from DC's favourite playboy to a single parent in two seconds flat. Everything that had transpired over the last month was almost too much for him. He never said it out loud, but he was struggling. Juggling the sudden demand of being a father, finding a new way to live after leaving NCIS, accepting the sudden occurrence that she was dead.

He couldn't say her name anymore. Every time he tried, he couldn't bring himself to do it. He associated her name with acceptance. And if he said it out loud, that Ziva was dead, it would be his reality. That it really, truly did happen. Tony's life may have dramatically changed overnight but he still held onto the habit of running away from his feelings.

His father had been with him the entire time. It was comforting, as much as it was annoying. He needed space from Senior at times but the thought of handling Tali on his own scared the living daylights out of him. Tony knew eventually that he would have to assume his full role of being a father on his own, but he just wasn't ready yet. It didn't matter if Senior tried to convince him otherwise. What did he know about being a father? Tony wasn't exactly the poster kid for having the 'picture perfect' childhood after all. It didn't even matter when McGee sat him down and gave him a pep-talk. Hell, Gibbs could even take a shot at it but Tony was convinced that nothing would stick to his brain. And the small "Fatherhood for dummies" book that lay on his coffee table fully agreed with him.

"Abba," Tali announced herself with her small footsteps and her tired voice. Tony wondered if the kitchen light, that shone through his bedroom had woken her. He stood up and began to walk over to her, praying that once he put her back to bed, she would stay asleep. She reached up as Tony bent down and wrapped her small hands around his neck. He had occupied the couch every night because she slept in his bed. He had immediate plans to leave DC to Israel and thus skipped out on baby shopping for cots and whatnot. But due to technicalities like completing tedious documents to prove his true relation to Tali and obtaining an American passport for her, he was significantly delayed. Leon Vance, the director of NCIS used all his power to lean on the authorities, as a personal for Tony but he could only reduce the wait time to so much.

Tony slowly trailed back to his bedroom to lay her down. As he let her go, he watched her drift off slowly and then slid down to sit against the wall, next to her bed. He definitely wasn't getting anymore shut eye for the rest of the night so he stayed up, watching his daughter sleep, wondering how he was going to do this for the rest of his life, without Ziva.

...

Tony awoke suddenly to the sound of Tali's voice. He could not remember at what point he passed out on the floor. But after the glancing at the clock, which read 7:00, it couldn't have been for too long. Tali was running around the apartment, exploring every nook and cranny that caught her eye. She had the same impatience in her personality as did her mother, it seemed.

Tony quickly set up the high chair and sat her in, rummaging for baby food as his coffee was brewing.

"So Tali, what would it be? The usual?" Tony joked as he held up some of the organic baby food that Palmer graciously brought over yesterday. She giggled and said something inaudible, slapping her hands on the baby tray.

Oh yes, she was definitely as impatient as her mother.

Tony mentally slapped any image of Ziva out of his head as he turned to prepare the food. But it was impossible; Ziva was everywhere when Tony looked at his daughter. He decided to put some jazz music on, to wake himself up and pull his mind out of the dark place it was residing in. Jazz could cheer up any situation, in Tony's opinion. He was sure it could even put a smile on the Grim reaper's face.

"Okay my lady. Let's try this again," he said, settling into a chair in front of Tali. "You sit still, I feed you, okay?" He said, knowing full well that this feeding session was going to be just bad as every other one. Just as he spooned the food, his doorbell rang.

"Papa?" Tali looked curiously at the door. Tony immediately knew that his father was waiting for him and went to let Senior in. Tony and Senior spent a few days trying to teach Tali how to say 'grandpa', but she could only wrap her mouth around the letters 'pa', and then proceeded to drive them both crazy with it. Soon after, 'pa' transformed into 'papa' and now it just stuck.

"Where's my gorgeous baby girl?" Senior cooed as he walked up to Tali, giving her a hug and a kiss on her head.

"How did she sleep last night?" Senior asked his son.

"Oh, the queen of hyperactivity was at her usual antics again." He sighed. Immediately realising that he wasn't the only adult in the room, Tony interjected.

"Hey, can you feed her while I take a shower? I need to wake up properly."

"Of course, son. Anything for my little girl," Senior's attention was turned back to Tali as he began making silly faces so she would giggle. Tony came to realise that the sound of Tali's laugh was the best noise he had ever heard in his lifetime. Watching his father commit his attention and energy to Tali 100% of the time was a nice visual. Maybe senior was taking his grandparent status as his final chance to make up for all the mistakes he made with Tony. Like he was determined to prove to Tony, or even himself that he was capable change. Tali was definitely bringing tony and his father closer together, even Senior could tell.

Tony took the time to shower and change, putting on a black shirt and a pair of jeans. He was almost ready to leave his room when he heard his phone go off. It was a message from the Director.

"Papers came through. Gibbs has them.

Green light, you're good to leave.
-Vance."

Tony let out a sigh of relief. It meant he could take the next step in this whole process; he had been a sitting duck for too long. He immediately didn't wait another second when he sent back a 'thank you' reply and booked him and Tali a ticket to Tel Aviv in 3 days' time. He may have heavily relied on his father this whole time. But Tony had to take this trip alone with her.

"Dad, I got the green-light from Vance. Tali and I are leaving for Tel Aviv on Wednesday." Tony informed his father as he approached the kitchen counter.

"Well, how long will you be?" Senior replied, slightly taken aback at the thought that he won't be seeing his granddaughter every day for some time.

"Ahh," Tony attempted to reply and then let out a breath of air, shrugging.

"Honestly, I don't know."

"Well what are you going to do there?"

"-Dad, I honestly don't-"

"Junior you can just fly across the world with no plan of action. Why don't I call my friend-"

"DAD. Just, stop. Please." His loud voice, startled Tali as she turned to look at her father. Tony gave her small but reassuring smile and then turned his attention back to senior. "I need to do this. I need answers. I don't know what answers I'll find, I just- I need something." He wasn't mad at his father, they were both doing the best they could with the situation at hand. But he just needed space.

"Fine. And what if you don't find those answers?" Senior questioned him. Tony struggled to get the words out.

"I don't..I mean I will try to..… I don't know Dad. I'll find something else! Solace, closure. I don't know why I need to go back there. I just think it will be good for me and Tali. It feels like the right thing to do." Defeated in their exchange, Senior simply nodded in acceptance and changed the topic to preparing their departure.

...

It was Tuesday night and Tony had strapped his daughter into his car. Two days went by and Tony was already packed and ready to leave DC the next day. He just needed to swing by Gibbs' house to pick up his papers. He honestly knew the route to Gibbs' house better than he did to his own, however this time, it seemed longer than he had remembered. It had been some time since he had seen his former boss. The back of Tony's head was sure thanking him for that. They pulled up to the front of Gibbs' house and Tony took a minute to unstrap Tali from baby seat. Within an instant of being free, Tali ignored all of Tony's protests and ran straight to the front door. She knew exactly where she was and who was waiting for her on the other side.

When Gibbs first met Tali, she kept pointing over and calling him 'Saba'. No one was sure what she was talking about, maybe it had been a sound that she recently learnt. But it soon became clear that 'Saba' was solely reserved for when Gibbs was around. It took some time and a small gut feeling for Tony to stick that word into google translate when he learnt that 'Saba' meant 'grandfather' in Hebrew. Upon divulging that information to Gibbs, he concluded that like himself, Ziva must have shown Tali a photo and spoke about her former boss. He was like a father to her after all.

"Hey Boss," Tony greeted Gibbs as he watched his close-friend and father-figure scoop his daughter up in his arms.

"Saba!" Tali cheered as Gibbs gave her a loving kiss on her cheek.

"DiNozzo," He said opened the door wider to let them in.

"She's been a terror the past few days while I've been packing. You know what? I think this is karma for all the wrong-doings I've committed against women in the past. I thought I skirted through all that without a scratch but now look at me. I got a little one playing with my emotions and causing me grief instead. I mean, I can already feel myself prematurely greying Boss. Is this what fatherhood is like? Should I be preparing for a dad bod now?"

Gibbs smiled at the sound of Tony's mini rant, sitting Tali on his lap. But that only lasted for a second after she spotted her small toys, untouched since she was last over, lying in the corner of living room. She wriggled out of Gibbs' hold and they both watched her clumsily run to the toys.

"Well yeah Tony. Just wait till she starts talking, you'll wish you were born deaf." Gibbs responded. A moment passed before Gibbs turned to Tony, waiting for him to speak. Gunnery Sergeant Leroy Jethro Gibbs was a man of very few words, a functioning mute as Tony would fondly call him. Only his silence and stares were deafening to any human's ears as they always rang a string of commands, questions and thoughts. This time, Gibbs' stare was asking Tony how he was coping.

"I'm terrified," Tony said with a laugh that held no substance or humour. Gibbs gave him a moment to continue. "I don't think I'm ready for this."

"Nobody is ready to be a parent," Gibbs replied.

"Yeah but it's different. I mean, it's me. You know me Boss. You know the type of person I am. And I don't think that a guy like me should be trusted with such a small person like her." Tony was scared of raising her wrong, he didn't have a good blueprint to rely on.

"No," Gibbs shook his head. "I think you're exactly the right person you're meant to be, to be raising her. You've come a long way DiNozzo. Don't sell yourself short." It was often rare when Gibbs had a heart-to-heart with Tony. After 13 years of being co-workers, Tony still wasn't overly accustomed to moments like this. But he knew everything his former boss was saying was the truth. He learnt how to trust his own gut almost as much as he does with Gibbs'. They looked back at Tali, who was too busy examining one of her toys to notice that they were watching her.

"She's got busy hands," Gibbs said.

"Huh, well maybe you can teach her how to build a boat one day. Someone needs to know the secret of how you get that damn thing out of your garage anyway." Tony joked.

They spoke a little bit more about Tony's travel plans, or lack there-of and Gibbs handed him all the documentation he needed.

"You take care of yourself and that little girl." He said, as he gave Tony a hug, knowing full well that he wouldn't being seeing DiNozzo for a while.

"Will do Boss. Say hi to the team for me." Tony watched as Gibbs bent down and picked Tali up and ruffled her curly hair, placing a soft kiss on her forehead. Tony left Gibbs' house with a new-found sense of confidence. It was true that Gibbs' never said much. But, when he did, those words would always ring true for Tony. He was ready for this; he was ready to be a father.