When One Meets The Other
Disclaimer: CBS owns Criminal Minds, you know that. I also don't any other shows either.
Summary: Hotch and Emily are undercover when they bump into some unexpected people...
Special Thanks To: AmyPrentiss-Reid for the conversation that inspired this story.
A/N: This popped into my head while talking with Amy, so enjoy. Not to be taken seriously, keep an open mind and not really case-fic.
Thanks for reading, don't forget to leave a review.
Oscar Wilde said, "Experience is the name everyone gives to their mistakes."
"Are you sure you know what you're doing?" Hotch asked his brunette agent who was kneeling down beside the chain fence, as she was picking at the lock.
"How many times are you going to ask me that?" she asked, looking up at him.
"Until we're pass this gate and in there." Hotch said, crouching beside her, peering in the darken sky, "This is a bad idea."
"Hotch" Emily sighed, stopping her task to look at her boss, boyfriend and partner-in-crime, "You heard Dave. This was the only way to catch them."
Hotch grumbled, as he pulled the small flashlight from his pocket, "Still don't see why he and Morgan couldn't do this?"
Emily groaned, turning to him, "For the millionth time, because, Morgan's in better shape and he's at the security booth and Dave is too high-profile and this was his case he brought in."
Holding the light on the lock, he mumbled "Who'd steal animals anyways?"
"Those Earth-loving, tree hugging, non-showering activists?" Emily offered, finally picking the lock successfully, "Ha ha, I told you I can do it."
"Great, we're Federal Agents committing a felony," Hotch growled out, "That look good before the Director and judges."
"Calm down" Emily grumbled standing up, "They're not going to give us the gas chamber for this."
"Tell me again, why we're on this case?" Hotch asked.
"Because Dave and Strauss are both close friends with the head of this Wildlife Preservation" Emily reminded him, "And you know Strauss will do anything to look good, including solving this case."
"It's missing animals, it's not like anyone was murdered," Hotch said watching the brunette shoot him a look, "What?"
"Not yet," Emily muttered, zipping up her dark jacket, "Now less yapping and more lurking."
The two agents carefully made their way into the preservation ground, they both paused and dunked when they saw the security camera.
"I thought Morgan was working with security?" Hotch asked Emily, who groaned.
"I knew I should have partnered up with Morgan on this case," she complained, "You just had to volunteer because you didn't want anyone else with me on this case?"
"No," Hotch admitted, "Call me old-fashioned, call me a chauvinist, I don't care."
"Chauvinist" Emily muttered, "Ok, I know you read through Garcia's case notes, but she said that since we weren't given full access by the acting manager that we're going to have to be creative."
"And you think breaking and entering is creative?" Hotch asked, shaking his head, "Forget I asked."
The two agents quickly moved down towards the door, pausing to check and see if it were unlocked and had no luck.
"What about security?" Hotch whispered, making the brunette look up at that, "I meant an alarm system. There wasn't anything in Garcia's note about that."
Emily bit her lip, "Well aren't the alarm system cords on the side of the buildings?"
"Usually are," Hotch said, pulling out the flashlight again, and walking to the left of the building, "Over here."
Making her way over to Hotch, she grinned, "And you my dear are a genius"
Hotch chuckled, "Don't let Reid hear you say that."
Taking the flashlight from him, she hunched down next to the alarm, popping open the box and perusing the inside while Hotch went around checking for the all clear.
"Quit moving around, you're making me nervous," Emily said without looking up at him, "If this one is that, then that one has to be this."
"What?" Hotch asked, "Are you sure you know what you're doing?"
"I told you to quit asking me that," Emily said, clipping on the wire, "There, that should do it."
"Come on, let's go inside before someone sees us" Hotch said, walking to the door, while she picked the lock, and the two went inside.
Another couple came up to the preservation and stared at the long chain length fence.
"I don't know about this," the man told the woman, "It's awfully high."
"Don't sweat it sweetie," the woman told him, "Just remember not to damage your man parts, and we'll be good."
"Great," he replied, watching his wife climb over the fence, both were dressed in dark clothing.
"Honey, I just think this is a bad idea" the man told his wife, "I mean it's not only crazy but it's illegal."
The woman looked at her husband, "Sweetie, I love you but if you don't hush, I'm going to trade you in for a guinea pig."
"You wouldn't" the man said, narrowing his eyes.
"I've always wanted a pet" she told him as they made their way to the front door, "Shoot, I forgot about the alarm system."
The husband watched his wife, pull out a flashlight and get down in front of the box and frown.
"Huh" she said, clicking off the light before standing up, "That's weird, and I mean weirder then usual."
"What is it?" the husband asked.
"Someone already jammed the alarm" she said, shrugging her shoulders, "Oh well, ready?"
"Isn't this a red flag for you?" he told his wife, "That someone already planned something?"
"Honey don't make me hit you" she told her husband running her gloved cover hand over his hair, "Now scoot."
The married couple moved towards the front door, checking quickly for anyone before making their way inside.
"Hotch" Emily said, annoyed, "You know for a supposed tough BAU team leader you really are a scaredy cat."
Hotch turned looking at his dark-haired agent, "Well I tend to get nervous committing felonies."
She heard his stomach grumble and said, "Didn't you eat before we left?"
"Yeah, my stomach's been bothering me" Hotch complained, "I'm going to go look for the bathroom."
"Now?" Emily asked with a raised eyebrow, "Ugh, fine. Just remember where I am."
"Like I could forget" Hotch said dropping a kiss to Emily's forehead before making his way down a long hallway.
The other couple made their way down the hall when the husband paused clenching his fist and turning around quickly.
"Sweetheart, where are you going?" the wife asked her antsy husband, "You gotta pee?"
"I'll be back" he clipped out walking out down a dark hallway filled with nerves and a touch of excitement. Only his wife could talk him in to something as outlandish as this.
Hotch walked down the hall, his blood pumping. He just hoped that he and Emily didn't lose their jobs if they got busted...
Then he paused, they were assigned this, so he shouldn't be so worried. It was just a case, however odd as it was.
That made the FBI agent relax slightly before turning the corner only to be bumped into by another man.
"What the hell?" the man asked, looking at the Federal Agent who stared back at the man in shock.
Hotch fumbled around in his pocket for his gun and groaned internally at the idea that he left it behind with Emily since she had the small messenger bag.
"Don't move" Hotch ordered, "Aaron Hotchner, FBI."
"You're joking right?" the other man asked.
Emily groaned, wondering what the hell was taking Hotch so long. Looking down at her watch, she watches the minutes pass.
Deciding not to wait anymore she reached into the messenger bag for her pick lock and used the tools to unlock the doors that lead to the file holding center.
She knew that all she needed was the video that proved that the animal abductions were an inside job and she'd be all set.
"Now how the hell am I going to..." Emily said, finally hearing the lock pick and grinning at her hidden talent. Sighing she wish Hotch were with her but she'd just have to do this herself.
Slowly standing up, she wandered over to the file cabinet and look for the three files she needed. The ones that the preservation was reluctant to give.
Sighing she kneeled down and opened the bottom file going over the 'F' section and pausing. One name popped out at her, she recognized that name from her days at the C.I.A. but she grabbed the others on the list too.
"It has to be him" she murmured to herself standing up, and turning around stunned to see Hotch standing there staring at her, "Jesus man, give a girl a heart attack. What took you so long?"
"What?" he asked confused, watching the brunette stuff the files in her jacket, "What are you doing with those classified files?"
Emily raised her eyebrow at him, "We're taking them. You know we have to. It's the only way to find the answers"
"We can't take them" he told her, reaching over to take the files only to have his hands smacked by her, "Ow."
"What is wrong with you?" Emily asked, hearing the alarm go off, "Shit, I thought the alarm was clipped. Come on."
Emily grabbed him, dragging her reluctant partner with her.
The wife opened the door to the animal holding cages, and looked around. Her heart pounding as she took in all the caged animals.
"Don't you worry" she whispered wiggling her finger in front of a baby orangutan, "I'm going to free you soon. You won't have to worry about that mean old cage anymore."
"What are you doing?" the woman heard turning around, she smiled at the sight of her husband, "Are you talking to an orangutan?"
"How about the better question is, why wouldn't I talk to him?" the blonde told her husband, "Honestly you're asking the wrong questions here."
The man just stared at the blonde, but said nothing as she started opening up the cages, letting the orangutan jump out of the cage and hop up to the man kissing him.
"I think someone's got a crush on you." she said grinning as she went to the rabbit.
"Great" he deadpanned, "Just what I needed, another crazy woman in my life."
"Oh you are so cute" the blonde said, staring at the little rabbit, "I think I want to take you home and call you Whiskers."
As the orangutan clapped in agreement the man opened his mouth the two heard an alarm go off.
"I thought the alarm was cut?" the blonde said, "Come on, we've got to get them out of here."
The man was gripped by the jacket and he felt the female orangutan tighten her grip on him.
"What the hell is happening?" the man muttered as the blonde narrowed them down a hall, pausing briefly to check for the all clear.
"Do you got your gun?" Emily asked, turning to Hotch who raised an eyebrow at that, "I'm not saying fire it out in the open but come on, you know why we're here."
"Why would..." he started to say but Emily grabbed him by the shoulder as the alarm got louder and the two raced down a hall that lead to a corridor.
As the two continued running, she could hear Hotch muttered, "We shouldn't be doing this, we shouldn't be doing this."
"Not now," she murmured as the two turned a corner only to literally bump into the other couple as they all collided and hit the floor.
"Holy..." Emily started looking from Hotch to the other couple.
"Crap" the blonde finished looking over at her husband, "Greg, he looks just like you."
Hotch stood up, "Actually I'm Greg."
The man stood up, reaching down and helping Emily up, "I'm Agent Hotchner, FBI."
Greg's face tightened as he helped his wife up, "Dharma, I told you this was a bad idea."
Dharma rolled her eyes, as she shouldered the orangutan in one hand while passing Greg the rabbit, "What did I say about saying that?"
The still ringing alarm suddenly stopped, and the two couples look up when they hear a loud voice, "Freeze!"
"Crap" Emily and Dharma both muttered.
"Nobody move" the guard said, his taser pointed at the group.
The two pairs sat at a long desk, staring at each other while the animals were taken from Dharma and Greg.
"Come on, Lucy" the animal caretaker said to the orangutan who ran over to Hotch.
"Aw" Dharma and Emily said while both Hotch and Greg looked slightly annoyed.
"Sorry" Emily muttered, when a man came in, eyeing the two pair.
The orangutan left with the caretaker while the guard and another man in a suit came in.
"Where are the files?" the suited man asked, "One of you two has it, and we want it back."
"Those files are needed for the FBI to solve this case." Emily said, looking over at Hotch, "The head of your Wildlife Preservation is a close friend with our Section Chief and we were asked to find out where the animals keep disappearing to."
"I am an FBI agent and I demand to speak to my Unit Chief and partner immediately," Morgan's voice demanded, "I've got your real criminal in the back of my Bureau issued SUV."
"Excuse me, sir" a guard said, "But there is no need for any hostility in your tone."
"There is when I suspect my boss and my colleague are being held after not checking in with me at the designed time" Morgan said making his way into the room, seeing Hotch and Emily then frowning at Dharma and Greg, "Wow."
"I know" Hotch mumbled, "Did you catch the unsub?"
"Yeah, some guy named..." Morgan looked down at the identification card, "Finkelstein."
"Crap" Greg and Dharma muttered.
"You know him?" Emily asked the couple.
"Larry's my dad." Dharma said, "He means no harm, he just wanted to liberate the animals."
"By breaking and entering?" Hotch asked.
"Isn't that what you two were doing with the files?" Greg countered, "Breaking and entering, stealing private, confidential files?"
"Must be a lawyer" Emily murmured, embarrassed.
"You're FBI?" the guard asked looking from Morgan to the brunette couple, "What about them?"
"Those two are" Morgan said, pointing to Hotch and Emily then looked at Dharma and Greg, "I don't know about those two."
"I'm a lawyer" Greg stated, "And due to the fact that neither myself or my wife, nor these Federal Agents actually absconded with anything, it would be wise to let us go."
Emily looked over at Hotch, who added, "With the files."
The other couple looked at them, "We'll just hold on to these for safe keeping."
The guard looked annoyed but muttered, "Let me talk to my supervisor."
"So are you sure, you two aren't related?" Morgan asked looking from Hotch to Greg, "Because you both look like brothers."
"I don't know about that" Dharma said, looking over at Hotch, "I mean he looks a little older than Greg."
"Hey" Emily and Hotch complained.
"No offense" Greg said, apologetically, "But I guess I can see it."
"Oh Greg" Dharma said, "Wouldn't it be a blast if he was your twin brother that Kitty gave up for adoption."
"I hardly think my Mother would sell her own child" Greg countered, "Though if it were true, it'd explain so much of her smothering."
"I'm not even going to touch that one" Emily murmured to Hotch, then looked at the couple, "Try and keep your father from liberating any more animals. At least ones that would be investigated by the FBI."
"Can't make promises" Dharma told her, "Larry's very into fighting the man."
"That explains his CIA file" Emily commented, seeing the surprised expression on the men's faces but not Dharma's.
"Yeah, like I said, Larry's into fighting the man." Dharma said, "Well any-who this was a blast, let's do this again sometime."
"No" Hotch and Greg said in unison, making the two women and Morgan look at them in awe.
"You sure you two aren't related?" Emily commented, waving at the married couple as the three agents walked off.
"God, I hope not" Hotch muttered to Emily wrapping an arm around her, "As nice as they are, if I were married to a woman like her, I'd go insane."
Emily chuckled while Greg and Dharma went to their car, "They seem nice."
"If I had to work around them with a gun?" Greg said, "Lets just say, I'd probably stop smiling."
"Aw, honey" Dharma said pulling him into a kiss, "I love your smile."
Morgan shook his head as he drove the Bureau issued SUV with the dark haired couple in the back, while watching the other couple get into their own car before driving away.
"Weird" Morgan muttered to himself, "Thank God, Garcia and Reid aren't here, they'd go on about alternate universe and dimensions."
"A man's errors are portals of his discovery." James Joyce
THE END
I hope you all enjoyed this, don't forget to leave a review.