Nny looked out the boarded-up window. "It's such a beautiful night. I think I'll kill myself."
Reverend MEAT looked up at him. "Why on earth would you think that, Johnny? There's no point. I think it's truly sad that you can never be happy with life. Isn't that the point of living?"
Nny stared at him. "Why on earth would you rationalize life like that? That's generalization at its worst. People are different, MEAT. I believe the phrase went, 'To each his own'…that's it. I have a very different perspective on life than any other human being, you know that."
"I may, but I don't believe it. I believe that you are merely denying yourself true pleasure. You deny yourself the happiness that comes from a simple brainfreezie, and yet you still indulge upon them. Why on earth would you do that if it had no meaning to you?" MEAT grinned.
Nny contemplated this for a moment.
"You're right! I have been lying to myself all this time! All the tacos, all the brainfreezies, all the Cherry Doom…their small yet priceless value of happiness wasted on misery! How much time I have lost! How many measures of joy have been spilt on the ground and crushed into the dust!" Nny was bawling now.
"I only had to say to myself that I could be happy, and I would have believed it! Why didn't I? Is it because I have kept the Doughboys alive in my tortured, wretched mind? Do I still really believe what they were telling me for all those years? Or is it just that I WANT to stay unhappy to avenge my twisted soul?" He sobbed a deep sob, and a shudder traveled throughout his entire body, as he lay curled up in a fetal position on the floor.
Reverend MEAT smiled on, and looked away, thinking to himself, ignoring Nny's cries. "Yes, yes! I am finally getting through to the boy! Now, Nny!" MEAT turned his attention to him.
"If you can't truly believe yourself, then all you need do is ask ME every so often if you're really happy? Can you do that?"
Nny looked up. "Oh, I believe I can answer myself the first time…" He raised a foot-long knife.
Two hours later.
Nny chewed on a taco at the Taco Smell, and thought of the decapitated statue of Reverend MEAT that lay on the floor of his living room. He smiled.
"Now I am!"