All Around Me

I've been inspired by some Flyleaf songs recently, and while the imagery seems to reach towards a faith base I immediately interpreted it as a 1x2 love. Figures.

I do not own Gundam Wing.

I try so hard to tell you what I've always wanted to say. Wanting to tell you I need you, that you complete me in a way no other person or thing can. I feel my tongue moving, but my mouth refuses to open. I'm sure I look crazy, or maybe my face is stoic as ever. I was never good at not controlling my outward emotions.

"What's up, Heero?" You ask me with a raised eyebrow as you pause from working on fiddling with your pack.

"I.." I pause, unable to get the words out. How do you explain the feelings you've never felt? Anytime he's near me I feel a burning rise in my chest, nothing like butterflies all those girls speak of. How can I even be sure I know what this is? "I…"

"Come on, dude. Cat got your tongue?" That grin, you have no idea what that does to me.

"I have to go. Mission." I hold up my own pack as a show that's what I was trying to say. I'm a moron.

"Be safe." He smiles genuinely, and I just nod and walk out the door.

"01, come in." His voice is panicked. Rushed. He's worried. "God dammnit Heero, answer me." But I can't. I've taken a critical hit, Wing's cockpit flashing red at me so violently. There's so much blood in my mouth that I can't even breathe, let alone answer Duo if I wanted to. This is not what I wanted to happen. "Heero I swear if you're hurt I'm going to kill you!"

This makes me smile. Duo never did like others being the bearer of death. Stupid shinigami. He might not have the choice this time; I've discovered a very deep gash in my gut. It's funny how you don't notice such a large injury when your adrenaline is pumping.

It was stupid of me, all my fault. Trying too hard to make sure Duo didn't have any opposition; he did have the final end goal of infiltration on this mission. But I failed at protecting myself, breaking the number one rule of no emotions, the mission first. I couldn't let anything happen to him, mission or not. Training to deal with emotions may have been better than trying to rid me of emotions. They're just too much to deal with.

I slam my hand down on the opening of my cockpit on Wing and unbuckle my harness. Useless to die inside of there, I jump onto Wings leg, and then tumble down to the ground into some shrubbery on the edge of a forest that has survived the war.

My vision is fading, my breaths coming short and gurgled. I thought my death would be much more pleasing. I feel empty as I prepare to drown myself in my own blood, wishing I could touch Duo, even for a fleeting moment. I wish I could tell him how he makes me feel.

Blackness is surrounding me. The temperate spring air is starting to feel cold, my skin breaks out in goose bumps and a shudder wracks my body as I feel a tear escape from my eye. I roll my head to the side, attempting to get the blood to drain, my hand pressing as hard as possible to the wound on my stomach. It's useless I know, but I have to try.

"Shit Heero!" He's panting; I can feel his running feet vibreate the ground. He's getting closer. "Fuck! What happened?" He slides up to me, not giving two shits at the battle he just bailed on, on the mission we're failing.

I reach out my hand and try to form words, "I-" and cough, this is difficult. "I.." It's no use, no words can make it out of here. He grabs hold of my hand.

"Heero, I need you to stay with me. Do not go towards the light!" I feel him remove my hand from my stomach and he puts bodyweight pressure on me. I feel him all around me, his smell is so strong. I'll never forget his natural scent. His calloused hand is gripping mine like I'm going somewhere. But I guess I am. "Heero…you can't leave me." And I don't want to; I never got to tell him.

"Duo-" I manage to grovel, spitting out blood. I crack an eye open, scared violet eyes stare back at me, unable to mask the fear, the knowledge. "I-" I shudder again, not much left, "I love you." Finally. I can tell it's time, my body is growing too cold, losing too much strength.

"You fucking asshole! Don't tell me you love me right now!" He doesn't mean it, he looks relieved to hear those words. I smile as much as I can. "You feel my hand, Heero?" I nod, just slightly. "Focus on it, stay so focused on it that you can't think of anything else!" I squeeze his fingers, but just barely. I wish I could tell him how beautiful he is when in a panic. "I said I needed a medic here NOW!" He screams, I'm assuming into his communicator.

"Two minutes. Hold on for two more minutes." I squeeze his hand again, it's not much, but it's all I can do to let him know I'm there. I feel so enveloped in his scent, in his presence. I could die happy with him here. But he's asked me to focus, and I'm going to try. "I'm not going to leave you."

And I believed him.

"You're an asshole, Yuy." Duo glares at me.

I'm lying in a hospital bed. Not where I want to be.

"You fucking did this on purpose. Trying to die? Telling me you love me? What the fuck?" He looks like he hasn't slept in days, his hair is barely contained, his eyes bloodshot, tired, and his skin pale.

"You look like shit, Maxwell." My voice is dry. I smack my lips involuntary, and Duo hands me a glass of water hurriedly. I drink like I've been in the desert, but there's still a lingering taste of stale copper in my mouth.

"That's all you have to say?" He throws up his hands. "I haven't left this room for a week waiting for you to wake up after surgery and you can't even be nice." A small pout. He's kind of adorable when he's not trying. Not that I would ever tell him that.

"What am I supposed to say?"

"Well first off, you love me?"

I sigh, "Yes."

"Well thanks for clearing that up." He glares at me. "This is a sick joke, Heero."

I move to sit up and immediately lay back down again, my stomach not entirely healed. Duo reaches for the bed remote and sits the bed up. "Thanks." I whisper. "It's not a joke. I do love you."

Duo looks at me, a lot of shock on his face still. "H-how?"

I shrug. "I feel it. Right here," I point at my sternum, "I feel like things are stuck here when I think of you, it gets worse when you're around. Trowa says its love." I look to the corner, scanning the room. "The more I thought about it, the more I think he's right. I have a hard time concentrating when you're around and it has nothing to do with the fact that you're beautiful." I fiddle with the edge of the sheet. "You make me smile, you put up with my moodiness, and you understand the mission…"I trail off, noticing this declaration of love is nothing like the movies.

"You've known…a long time?" He questions, cautiously.

"A few months."

"And you thought DYING would be a good time to tell me?"

I sighed. "I tried. So many times." He walks over to my side, scoots his butt up onto the bed and takes my hand into his. "You never left." I say with a small smile.

"I couldn't." his thumb rubs small circles into my palm. His touch lights my skin on fire. "I would never give up on you." He moves to lean over me, my breathing quickens, and his bangs tickle my nose. He's so close, never this close before. And before I can think he's pressed his lips against mine. It's the briefest of kisses, but it says more than either of us could fathom to say in this room.

He pulls back and I smile at him, just ever so slightly.

His eyes look so alive. Like he's been renewed.

"I've been waiting since the moment we met on earth for that." He shudders, and moves forward again. I happily meet his lips, testing out their responsiveness. He plays back, but draws back much too soon for my tastes. "I love you too, Heero." He tightly squeezes my hand again. "But don't you ever fuck up the mission again!"