"Its just for tonight, we'll be back tomorrow to pick him up. So, just..." Lily gestured to Harry's tiny book shelf. "Read him a story or something!" She quickly snapped on her earrings. "If anything happens, you know how to contact us, right? If he starts crying, try rocking him. Oh! And feed him at exactly five o'clock, or he'll get cranky. If-"
Sirius waved her off. "Lily, Remus and I can take care or Harry for one night. Go! Enjoy yourselves, god knows how busy you two have been!"
"You can't even take care of yourself!" She said distractedly, checking her hair in one of Harry's tiny mirror toys. "Just, don't kill him before Remus gets here!"
"Don't worry, I'm sure he'll be here any minute." Sirius met James's eyes over Lily's head, and then peered out the window at the full moon. They hadn't yet told her that Remus was a Werewolf.
"Okay. Okay." She pursed her lips. "When I come back, I want Harry to be in one piece, understand? No missing fingers or toes."
"I'll contact you in an hour to see if everythings still alright." James said, resetting his watch.
Sirius threw up his hands good naturally. "Doesn't anyone in this house trust me? Now go, we'll be fine!" Sirius had to practically shove Lily into the fireplace. Sirius waved as they disappeared in green flames.
He spun around to Harry's crib. "Right then Harry, its just you and me then!" He clapped his hands together. "Lily said... that we should start with a book!"
Sirius lugged the green eyed monster over to the rocking chair. "Which one should we read, eh?"
"Sir'mus, re'd tawt one!" Harry pointed enthusiastically at a lard book titled Hogwarts, a History.
Sirius looked at it, confused. "Why is this book even in your room? I doubt you would understand anything in it." Instead he lifted a much smaller blue book off the shelf. "Lets read this one, okay?"
Harry looked unimpressed, but he snuggled into Sirius's lap more securely, and looked up at him expectantly. Quickly Sirius read through the book silently, so he would know what to expect. What he found made him snort in disgust. Under his breath he said. "I've never heard of a charm powerful enough to put a whole castle to sleep, and why didn't the prince just use a fire spell on the plants?"
"Have you ever read this book before?" When Harry shook his head, Sirius's expression brightened. "Right, we don't need this then!" He dropped the blue book on the floor.
"Now, We'er doing Sleeping Beauty Sirius style!" He grinned down at Harry. "Once apon a time, in a huge castle called Hogwarts, there was a beautiful Prefect named Lily. An evil wizard named Severus was so jealous of Lily, that he put a curse on her through a potion. Lily drank the potion, and was forever cursed that if she ever touched a...um" Sirius cast about the small room for help.
"A Hogwarts, a History book," He said triumphantly. "She would immediately fall asleep for a thousand years, unless she was kissed by her true love. But luckily a good Prefect came by, his name was Remus, and he was able to counter the curse a little so she would only have to sleep for a hundred years. Anyway, Dumbledoor, the King of the castle made his loyal servant, Peter, store the princess in a beautiful bedroom at the top of one of the very tallest towers."
He cleared his throat and took a sip of his hip flask, talking was dry work. "So one day, the head boy named James was flying around the castle on his amazing broom. The wind that day was very rough, so he decided to take shelter in one of the rooms with open windows. He flew into the window of the tallest tower and instantly fell in love with the women sleeping there."
"Her hair was a firey red and James was so in love with her, he decided to wake her with a kiss. And so he kissed her and she woke up! James was her true love!" He rubbed his chin thoughtfully. "So Sirius, James best friend, beat up Severus, and they all lived Happily ever after!"
Sirius bounced his knees up and down. "There Harry, how was that?"
Harry burbled happily. "Sto'y! Sto'y! Toll aga'n!" Sirius grimaced and pulled another book off the shelf, titled Beauty and the Beast, He speed read it and the dropped it on the floor.
"Sorry bud, I'll tell you this one later, right now its time for you to eat!" Sirius scooped up Harry and carried him down to the kitchen. "Oooh, what did Mommy leave for you?" He poked at the the squashed orange lump sitting on the kitchen table, covered in plastic wrap. "This looks gross, how do you eat anything Lily feeds you?"
Sirius dropped Harry off on his high-chair and pulled a larger chair up in front of it. He balanced the plate of orange goop in one hand as he opened the silver wear drawer with the other he grabbed a tiny blue spoon and closed the drawer with his hip.
He picked up a glob of the goop with the spoon and said loudly "Here comes the Snitch! Zooom!" He zoomed the spoon around in front of Harry. When his mouth opened in awe, Sirius shot the spoon through his a moment Harry chewed thoughtfully, then he spit it up all over Sirius's face.
Sirius tried several more techniques and had little more success, finally he gave up on the food and went to grab a bottle of milk from the refrigerator. He set the milk on the table next to Harry, and removed his wand from his pocket and was about to warm the milk up, when he was interrupted by the sound of someone using the floo network in the other room.
Sirius dropped his wand on the table, and raced to the other room. James's head sat nestled in the flames, waiting for him. James cast a look behind him. "Sorry, I dont have much time, 'Mad-eye' needs to use the floo in a few seconds. Is Harry alright?"
"Harry's fine." Sirius said, wiping a smudge of orange goo from his cheek. "You guys don't have to worry, I've got this under complete control!"
James rolled his eyes. "You said that last time, and we came home to find Harry floating twelve feet above the ground in the backyard." His head spun around on an invisible neck and he spoke to someone over his shoulder, when he turned back, he was smiling. "Sorry, I have to go. Take care of Harry!" The flames drew in on themselves and disappeared, taking James's head with them.
Sirius dug into his pocket for his wand, and relized he had left it on the table next to Harry. Quickly, he raced back to the kitchen, just in time to hear Harry cry 'FLAMO!'