"Sirius."

"Hmm?"

"Your hand is in my pants."

"As observant as always, Moony."

"Sirius!"

"And now we come to the goblin wars of the eighteenth century, and Gorbluck the Green and his followers' riots on behalf of their rights to behead those he desires to behead..."

"Oh, look, goblin beheadings!"

"Sirius...urrgghhh--James is right there--"

"He's too busy staring at Lily. Thinks she's wonderfully attractive when she takes notes. Although I do think the same of you, I really would rather do something more interesting than stare at you as you scribble away to Binns' droningly boring voice, wouldn't you?"

"Droningly? Mmghhhff--Sirius!"

"Relax. No one's looking. Only you would correct my grammar when my hand's--"

"James is right there, he's going to look around now, I promise you--"

"And so what if he does?"

"I don't want to be responsible for James' eyes being burned out by the sight of us."

"Oh, yes, 'cause it's so scaring."

"It--bloody hell, Sirius, would you---nnggggggfffk--I--"

"Just shut up and look innocent."

"Innocent. Innocent? Padfoot, you're insane--fuuuuuuck."

"Peter's looking."

"WHAT! Where, get off--"

"Remus. Remus, stop, he's not, I'm joking. Didn't know you'd take me seriously. Even though it is my name, of course, ha ha."

"I--Merlin, Sirius, I would say I hated you, but you'd know I was lying."

"Ha ha ha ha...You can stop looking so terrified, you're not going to get caught."

"You said that last time, and guess where I was for the next ten evenings?"

"Trophy room's good. Nice and empty."

"Yes, and when we got it messier than it had started..."

"That was a nice evening."

"Apart from McGonagall, yes, it was."

"Aw, it was a nice end to that day, seeing her purple face."

"Your sarcasm is so subtle, Sirius. I'm blown away."

"Hey, I'm Sirius, you can't expect me to be able to joke."

"That must have been the funniest thing I have ever heard in my life."

"It was dripping irony. Why didn't you get it?"

"Maybe I was too concerned with the fact that your hand is down my pants. Fuckfuckfuckfuck Sirius you--you're---agggghh."

"Love you too, Moony."

"Aaaaaaaghhh. I'm just not going to mention it anymore, and maybe it'll disappear."

"Hm. You don't really want that, do you?"

"Ummmm...."

"Yeah. Thought so."

"That's--mmmffff--OW!"

"That hurt."

"I'm the one who hit my bloody head on the table, Sirius."

"I sympathize."

"Mm. Okay. Hang on."

"Sirius. You just hit me with your book. Please stop trying to help me."

"Tables, books...what are they all doing here?"

"Other than the fact that we're in a classroom."

"Classroom? Who said anything about a classroom? Shut up, Moony, I almost succeeded in deluding myself that we were in a nicer place."

"Put the quill down, Sirius."

"You can't trust me with anything hard."

"Except..."

"Uhhhh...yeah."

"Mmmm."

"Trust me with that, Moony."

"In case you haven't noticed, I have."

"Moony..."

"Aghhhh..."

"Where--"

"Mmmmfffkk--"

"Moony..."

"Ahhnnnngghhhfffkkk...I think all my brain cells just died."

"That's a tragedy for you. I think we'll have to call it a day so your brain can regenerate."

"No, no, it's okay. Binns is still talking."

"Does he ever stop?"

"Well, you don't have many brain cells to lose, anyways. "

"That's not nice--okay, okay, have it your way."

"You're making such a sacrifice. My heart is breaking for you."

"Cut the sarcasm and get on with it already."

"Ask me nicely."

"Pleeeeease, Moony?"

"I was joking, Sirius."

"Well, I was Sirius."

"Oh, shut up."

"Nngggfff...you have nice hands."

"Thank you."

"Love you, Moony."

"I love you too, Sirius."

"You could at least try to keep the sigh out of your voice. You're ruining my high, here."

"I'm causing your bloody high, Padfoot."

"And I love you for it."

"I'm glad to hear you value my intriguing conversation skills and spell-casting talent."

"Only when we're doing a prank. Stop sighing at me. Nnnnnhhhhhggg..."

"Ha. My turn."

"Remmmmmmussssssss..."

"Not so loud. Lily's doing that head-shaking thing that she does when James is irritating her."

"That's 'cause he's poking her in the back with his quill."

"He's so subtle, isn't he?"

"Not everyone can be as happy as us, Moony."

"Don't I know it."