Warnings: Very smutty. Some angst. This is a non/ dubious consent story. Which means Dark! Steve Rogers. Take this seriously, folks.
Author's Note: This was written for sherrybaby14's 6K Reader Insert Challenge. Congrats, babe! My prompt was "No one can protect me. No one can protect anyone."
You stared across the table trying desperately to pay attention to the man prattling on at length. You watched his lips move knowing they formed words you should hear, but nothing made its way past your ears to your brain. You tried to piece together the snippets you could. Alex worked at a bank, his parents were still together, and he had a dog.
You smiled back at him as he took a sip of his red wine. You had met on a dating app. He was good looking. Tall, dark hair. After a string of several losers and douches, he seemed stable and nice. But there was only one word you could really use to describe him now. Boring.
It really wasn't his fault. Comparing him to another just wasn't fair. And really, who could live up to Captain America?
Steve Rogers had moved down the hall in your apartment building last year. He was a quiet neighbor. One you saw every now and then passing on the stairs. You assumed he would be just another tenant that would move when his lease was up like so many others before. But he turned out to be more, so much more.
You had lived in the building your entire life with your grandmother. Your grandparents had purchased their apartment after the war as a newly married couple and raised their child then you after your parents died suddenly. Your grandfather had passed on a few years ago leaving the two of you with only each other.
Like any grandmother, yours fretted about your lack of romance and worried that she was holding you back. You assured her as many times as you could that you weren't lacking in any department, but by your age she was well on her way to settled down. Her solution was to send you down the hall with a hot casserole to offer to the new tenant. He seemed to appreciate the home cooking and readily accepted an invitation a few days later to dinner.
It wasn't until that first meal you discovered who he was. Gran had recognized him after several minutes of agonizing, trying to remember where she had seen him, before realizing she had watched his stage act and movies with her girlfriends back in the day. Her swoon was palpable across the small table. And to your ever-lasting chagrin, you learned your grandmother was a hussy.
After that Steve became a regular fixture on your days off. Watching old movies and reminiscing with your grandmother or Mary as he called her, while you sat back enjoying the two of them remembering the good old days. You hadn't seen your grandmother's face this alight with joy in years.
It was sweet to see and yet heartbreaking. Knowing he should be old and gray, suspenders holding up his high waist slacks, his shoulders slouched with almost of a century of living upon them. He had sacrificed so much. But his fate had led him down a different path, made him a hero. A hero that now frequented your home where your grandmother found a new excuse every visit to go to bed earlier than the time before leaving the two of you alone, letting you know her hearing aids would be off until morning. Not only was your grandmother a hussy, she was a bad influence.
It was a surprise to no one when the two of you developed a fast friendship. You were one of the few women of your age that understood the world he was from and the old fashion values he clung to. You delighted in showing him how the world had changed, and it wasn't long before your relationship changed with it. Love was not something either of you had expected.
All the years of being alone, touch-starved for affection, the weight of your combined passions came crashing down around you. Steve's need for you knew no limits. Generous in his dominance, he demanded your devotion, and you were happy to relinquish control after years of holding everything together for your family. He was your hero and you, his salvation.
But after six months of dating and sneaking off to his apartment only to return home as the sun started to break through curtains, weak-kneed with evidence of your dalliance dripping down your thighs, he called everything off. Claimed he was putting you in danger by being with you.
"I can't let anything happen to you. I'm trying to protect you!" he urged as if you were the one being unreasonable.
"No one can protect me. No one can protect anyone, Steve." You stared at the man before you not wanting to believe what you were hearing. "You can't know what will happen. I could get hit by a bus or get sick. That's just life."
He buried his face in his palms, breathing deep before steepling his fingers in front of him. "I'm not talking about accidents or illness. I'm talking about making you a target. To assassins and maniacs that will use you to get to me."
"But what if that's a risk I'm willing to take? I mean—what about what I want? Don't I get a say in any of this?" Tears were welling in your eyes, threatening to spill as you searched his face for any signs of hope.
His jaw clenched. "My mind is made up." He turned from you and walked out the door without a backward glance.
And just like that it was over. And you were left to figure out how to move on.
And you tried to do precisely that which left you sharing an uber home with Alex and unable to stop yourself from thinking of Steve.
The car came to a stop, Alex exited first to hold the door open for you. Walking you to the entrance of the building, he said, "I had a really great time tonight."
You look into his eyes. "I did too." It wasn't a lie. It had been a nice time…but was nice what you wanted? Your heart stopped a split second later, as you realized he was leaning in for a kiss. Willing yourself to give him a fair chance, you closed your eyes. Maybe going through the motions would turn into something more.
His lips met yours warm and soft. His stubble scratching lightly at your skin. You waited. Waited for butterflies, sparks, fireworks…anything and nothing. Just lips and tongues moving together.
A shadow moved across your eyelids momentarily blocking the lamp light from the window of your living room. Breaking the kiss, you stared at the bright rectangle above you. You grandmother wasn't that big or that fast, and she should have been in bed by now.
"I had a lovely time. I need to go check on my Gran. Goodnight, Alex." You pulled away and started up the front steps, pulling the keys out of your purse.
"Can I text you some time?" he asked.
"Sure." You watched him smile as he walked back to the car.
Making your way into the building and up the stairs, your hands shook as you pushed your key into your apartment door. Slick palms turned the knob and pushed the wood forward. Your heart slammed in your chest, pulse reverberating in your ears as you stared at what met your eyes.
Steve sat in the arm chair facing the door. Eyebrows furrowed, lips pressed in hard thin line.
"Steve. Wh—what are you doing here?" you asked, finally finding your voice.
"Mary needed help opening her medication. Where were you?" His voice hardened with accusation, arms crossed against his chest.
Back stiffening, your hands ran down your black dress smoothing it as you steeled your nerves. "I was out." You closed the door behind you, placing your beaded purse on a small table.
"Out?" He eyebrows raised. "You were out. What if something had happened to Mary? I hope he would've been worth it," he growled through gritted teeth.
What the hell? Knots coiled in your stomach as fury heated your blood. "That is none of your business anymore. You made that perfectly clear 3 months ago. Why are you still here? Opening a pill bottle takes seconds not hours."
"Mary was lonely. I kept her company." He snapped to his feet from the chair. "Something you should think about doing instead of galivanting around the town with God knows who—"
"Really? Gran was lonely? She went to bed hours ago…so again, why are you still here, Steve?"
He glared at your persistence. He had always rewarded passive, pleasing behavior. Rarely had he had to deal with your stubbornness and pride. "To make sure she was alright until you finally got home!"
"My grandma is still perfectly capable of taking care of herself. We're both capable of taking care of ourselves!"
Steve stepped toward you. Slow. Predatory. His fixated on your every movement. "How about Prince Charming outside? Is he capable?"
The change in his demeanor sent you retreating behind the couch across from him. Turning, you made for the door. "I think you should leave," your voice quavered slightly. You could hear the floor boards creak beneath his weight behind you.
"I don't think I will." His hand closed around your arm. The world spun briefly before your back slammed against the front door, Steve Rogers pinning your arms against it, looming over you.
"Steve—what are—" You tried to move but his grip only tightened.
"You have no idea what it did to me to see you out there with him…with all of them," he whispered as he nuzzled close to your ear, pressing his hard body against yours.
"You've been spying on me? How dare—" His lips were on yours, parting them with his tongue. Your head bumped the door as you tried to pull away, unable to escape.
Before you could try to kick, your hands were raised above your head, one of his large hands gripping both of your wrists while the other traveled down your body, hiking your skirt over your hips. Your hands were lowered and pinned to your chest as Steve sunk to his knees before you. "Did you wear these for him?" His lips grazed the black lace panties.
You bucked your hips, trying to push him away. "Does it matter? You don't want me anymore, remember?" you said through clenched teeth, trying to ignore his warmth breath on your thighs.
"Yes, I do. I've always wanted you. But we don't always get what we want…." His hand rested at the top of your thigh, his thumb ghosted over your pussy, the fabric of your panties dampening and clinging to your lips.
"Then what are you doing?" Heat twisted in your stomach. Fear, anger, lust all roiling inside you.
"Taking what I want anyways." He pulled the lace to the side. His tongue swept through your folds as your knees buckled beneath you. He lifted your leg over his shoulder, your high heel dangling from your foot, and continued to feast on your delicate flesh.
It felt so good. It had been so long since he had touched you. Tasted you. But no, this was wrong. Wasn't it? "Steve, stop. No!" You tried to push against the hand holding yours hostage. There was no resisting the super soldier.
A small chuckle vibrated against your skin. "No? You've never said no before. Don't you want to be my good girl again?"
Your pussy throbbed with need at the pet name he once used to praise you. There was nothing you wanted more than to hear him call you his good girl again. But not like this. Not with anger coursing through his veins.
The more you tried to buck him away the harder he sucked and nipped until your movements once frantic became rhythmic, hips rolling over his mouth as you felt familiar sensations building in your body. Coiling, tightening, waiting for release.
His fingers entered you slowly. First one. Then two. Pumping inside you. His lips captured your clit sucking hard. Self-control was fleeting, as you moaned while his fingers curled, stroking the spot he knew would send you over the edge.
As soon as you felt yourself give in to your instincts, letting rational thought die, Steve stopped. He dropped your leg and stood in front you. "Still want to say no?"
You stumbled against the door trying to regain your balance, your breathing as unsteady as your legs. Did you? You knew this was wrong. Knew you should be strong. But you had missed him. Missed his touch so much. Your hesitation was all he needed.
Strong arms hauled you over his broad shoulders, your heels falling to the floor. Steady feet carried you to your bedroom where you were place on the floor before him. Standing behind you, his hands ripped the zipper on the back of your dress which landed around your ankles a few second later. Your shredded bra and panties followed.
You found yourself laying on the bed wondering how time had seemed to slow and speed simultaneously as you watched Steve removing his clothes. Your nipples hardened in the cool air, wetness gathering between your legs. You licked your lips as he removed his briefs, freeing his erection, caressing it in fluid strokes, his wrist curling slightly towards the base. He moved to stand near your head, never stopping the motions of his hand. Shivers ran through your body. Whether from fear, excitement, or desire, you couldn't tell.
His fingers slid through your slick pussy easily even with your thighs squeezed tight. "If you want to cum sometimes tonight, you know what I want."
You pressed your lips thin not wanting to give in, but aching to give over control to him once more.
"Open your mouth," he commanded.
Your traitorous body obeyed, turning your head towards him, allowing him easier access as he aligned the head of his cock with your lips. Your tongue darted out, licking the salty drop off the tip before closing around him. You worked your way down the shaft, moaning at the sharp hiss of pleasure that escaped him.
His hands worked in tandem with the pace you set. His fingers thrusting while his thumb circled your clit. Warmth spread through your body, fine mist of sweat began to form over your skin. Your muscles tightened, fingers digging into the sheets, back arching off the mattress as your orgasm rippled through you body. He kept thrusting his cock in your mouth through your climax which only seemed to prolong it. You gasped as he pulled out, oxygen flooding your lungs, as your body relaxed once more.
Steve moved between your legs, kneeling high on his knees. He pulled your hips off the bed and pushed deep inside you in one long thrust. Your arms reached above you, pushing against the headboard, bracing yourself against the relentless cadence of his movements. Legs were lifted over his shoulders, as he leaned over you, one arm hold himself up, the other snaking up your body. His hand slid over your breast, pinching and pulling your nipple until you cried out. His mouth took advantage and kissed you deeply, swallowing your moans, as his hand came to rest on your neck applying a subtle pressure. Another orgasm ripped through your body. Your pussy contracted around his dick, squeezing it as he sought his own release. A few more punishing thrusts, and his cock pulsed inside you.
He fell to the side and pulled you against him. His arms wrapped around you, your breathing settled. In capable of words or even thoughts, you let the emotional and physical exhaustion over come you.
You awoke the next morning craving the heavy weight of Steve and finding nothing. Your bed was empty next to you. When had he left? Why had he left?
Swinging your legs over the edge of the mattress, you stood and stretched noting the soreness between your legs. You walked past the pile of ruined clothes to the bathroom, to scrub the remnants of last night off your body.
Cleansed of your physical sins, you entered the kitchen where your grandmother was drinking coffee at the table, a curious grin on her face.
"Good morning," she said. Her eyebrows raised as she took a quick sip. "How did you sleep? Or did you sleep at all?"
Shit. She knew. How did she know? She was deaf as a post without her hearing aids in. You felt heat spreading across your face as mortification at the implications of her words settled in your mind.
"Oh, calm down. The two of you were going so hard last night, your headboard shook my wall. I thought there was an earth quake or a terrorist attack. I popped on a hearing aid just long enough to hearing you scream his name. I threw it clear across the room trying to take it back off. Found it this morning under the dresser." She chuckled.
I screamed his name? You couldn't think. You didn't want to think. You had too much on your mind without adding your grandmother's teasing to it.
"You're welcome!" she shouted at your back while you retreated back to your apparent den of iniquity.
A small bing, stopped you in your track. You walked towards your purse from the night before, avoiding all eye contact with Gran, and pulled out your phone to read the message you just received. It was from Steve.
I'm sorry about last night. It will never happen again.
Rage and humiliation boiled inside you. How stupid were you that you had hoped last night had changed things? That he would put aside his fears. Did you even still want him after last night? That was the hardest truth to swallow. You did.
"The hell it won't," you mumbled to yourself. Determined, you opened your dating app and swiped right.